Indigo Awareness Ribbon

Indigo Awareness Ribbon


Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Changes In My Writing

I am unraveling. It was bound to happen and you can either keep reading and get what you can out of it or you can choose not too becuz its going to be ugly.
Ugly but honest.
How long do you think a person can withstand years of harassment, isolation and stalking with intermittent torture?
I at least am smart enough to understand what is happening to me.
In the end my detractors, what small amount of the population even know I exist, will chock it up to mental illness. You cant stop a cover up. There is too much comfort and reward for the public to believe it. Believing the truth would be a sacrifice and that is supposed to be the Targets job not the public's.
I will do whatever it takes to get the info out I feel is important.
You realize that whoever set this up already knows this is the outcome dont you?

Kids working for this system try to console me be telling me that everyone will go on with thier lives and I will become a "controversial writer".
This system is expert at having psychological profiles on their Targets, why wouldnt they also be able to predict the outcome of their actions?

Targets are toys in the hands of this system and they are also a way to prove its worth and power. Every destroyed life is a testament to thier power and omnipotence (if not omnipresence as well).
This is why giving in to behavior modification and 'forgetting' everything is offered as the only way to stay alive and sane.

I cant live forever traveling at this age nor living like a gypsy. Nor can I continue to not work. I cant work if I am harassed all the time and I cant stay at shelters if I am harassed. I cant go into a roommate situation becuz the few times I have if they arent perps in on it they just wont rent to you. During the height of the harassment Criagslist in Boston wouldnt even allow my posts to stay up trying to get a roommate and across the country people seemed to know who I was and not rent to me.

So be prepared there probably wont be anymore of me being a stable rock for anyone. Survivors who are heavily targeted usually dont last long and the ones who do I dont understand how they do it. The US is hopeless and my situation was always a matter of time. You got the dirty cops and the worst parts of the system just waiting this out so I wont be a problem anymore. I have sensed that all along. Its a waiting game with most of these people.
However since I went through three layers of suicide programming it really doesnt matter to me if I am part of a future reality or not. I just dont understand why I was kept alive...probably for human experimentation. I have seen what I suspect is a similar thing with other people.

All I want now it to tell what happened and then find a way to get a pyre to disappear into. My looks cant be returned to me nor can my future.
And there are alot of racists and especially sexists who need to see me destroyed in order to feel they exist. So really there is no future. Unless I find some other country where I wont be harassed so much but I hear TIs dont get any relief if they move abroad.

Scott used to say that I feed into this too much, that I should try to live my life anyway. He tried to give me examples of other people who had beat gangs that were "keepin them down". This is more than just a gang.
I think my story will be enough.

I have heard comments like "gee, do you think she needs to be rescued?". Actually I would refuse rescue probably as programmed people are trained to
-go with programming with no concern for themselves
-fight till the death
It might have been a ploy to keep me isolated so that I didnt seek rescue.

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure how advancements in human knowledge are being made in this day and age, then. It seems like this system likes to attack those with any knowledge at all. I got profiled, and they have, literally, retarded people out walking around saying stuff like "there's that dumb guy again". And who are the stupid ones again? Those ones preventing the population from taking in knowledge and contributing something to it.

    I guess this gangstalking thing operates on the assumption that only a privileged few can truly contribute something to the human knowledge; the rest can become puppets in the hands of perps, being kept dumbed down in the process. The truly intelligent ones, well, they don't really have any use for them, really, except to pound them constantly with mind-controlled bullies. I guess they assume the few intelligent people (out of millions) who work for the system are just good enough to provide any knowledge they need. Or perhaps they feel they can coral those researchers actually contributing to the human knowledge base without killing them off.

    I have perps passing themselves off as smarter than me, out of sheer jealousy. Nothing more. One thinks she proved she is smarter by researching a topic that the system knows I am weak in, and questioning me to make herself look smarter than me. This same perp told me outright she is "smart". Yeah right. I suppose that's why she's headed to welfare?

    Those TI's like myself are victims of remote mind reading, so the system can leech off of what knowledge I acquire, and passing it off as the work of "theirs" instead of mine. Really, how can such a system sustain and maintain itself? It's a lot like the Roman Empire, which couldn't sustain itself, and died. The only way this system survives at all is by sacrificing good people, and letting the truly rotten ignorant ones live. They get to have all the fun at the intelligent, law-abiding citizens' expense.

    They are like the asshole boyfriend who leeches off of her girlfriend by paying all his bills, gives him all he needs to survive. And if that isn't enough, gets her pregnant in the process. How fair is that? Full benefits for lousy leeches who should be collecting welfare checks, instead, get nice fat payouts and the luxury of living off of targets. The system is like that boyfriend I described.

    Most people around me deal with this problem by denying it exists and discrediting me as being crazy, nuts, or losing it.

    I'd just like these people to know they are NOT better than me, and will someday get smacked hard in the head with a Clue Rock, and smell the reality that is the blood of ignorance pouring from their wounds.

    The same perps portraying me as a crackhead are out there smoking pot, getting drunk, and getting knocked up.