I heard a conversation trailing off yesterday about how 20 years was too long to be homeless. I can only assume it was about me.
A month ago or so an older gentleman that seem like one of the last sensible people left in Massachusetts there are some people left that haven't fled for other states, I heard him say about me "That's her? I think a lot of this is jealousy".
I am not a victim.
That is not how I define myself that is might be how you want to define me that isn't how to define myself.
I'm an activist a traveler someone who writes prolifically but isn't that great of a writer or rather a painter who writes. And yes I have this blog out of necessity for self-defense or revenge but also because this needs to be put out there to save lives and to help other people and also I need to write my book because it's very simple we're creating a new fifedom that the Constitution was supposed to get rid of or was supposed to at least in this country make it so such a thing didn't happen again.
However it seems that billionaires big companies tech companies etc I'm generalizing of course not every billionaire is bad or not whatever it is The point is is I know I'm generalizing My point is is that technology is coming our way that it not necessarily a Great thing and there's potential for a lot of sinister use or abusive power therein.
And before you go for something like transhumanism you should really know the risks of what's involved with what's going on right now that you're not aware of.
People trust technology inherently as if it is divine unto itself I posted this before and it still passes that people still think that technology is harmless and that in the hands of the right people it's going to be useful and wonderful and that might not necessarily be 100% true.
People need to know that abuse of power is happening and can happen with advances and technology it is that simple that is all this blog is about. And it's about the cost of doing activism where you're a whistleblower and you're exposing things that people might not want exposed that's what this blog is about
It's not about me as a person how long I've been this or that or what I used to know or who I used to know or who I used to go out with or who what company I keep or how I live or etc how much money I have or don't have it's not about any of that stuff. But always remember I'm just a mmessenger. And if I have to go through land mines to get the message delivered then that's what I will do.
If you want to be those land mines go right ahead but this is a game it's a chess game and that's all it is it isn't real life it isn't personal it's just like business or like a game. If people want to make it personal or they want to make a cheap drama out of it then keep it on your side of the fence because I find that entire thing ddistasteful.
I have actual family members that do not even understand the depths that I have fucking been through in order to fucking get this finished or get it done or even get this far. They can't even fathom the fact that I've had to take so many hits emotionally personally spiritually and otherwise and I still conduct myself in a civil manner when possible and with ccarriage. I still smile at people I'm still friendly I still act like a normal person. Not everybody can do this.
So I got to remember on a daily basis like when I was younger that I'm surrounded by people that don't know what the hell is going on. I had somebody recently that works in one of these places I stay in and they're sitting there messing with me but then they're listening to me tell part of my story about whatever it is being from Boston and how it is here or whatever and they tried to tell me oh you have an interesting story and I'm sitting there going but don't they already know who I am and know my story?
I don't think these people know shit I think they just do what they're told to keep their job at this point.. and Don't think it matters to them one way or another unfortunately when you're a target you're not a human being anymore That's what they do in war they dehumanize the enemy.
So this is a very difficult position to be in. You have to step carefully now that I'm older I can't be so careful and I certainly can't land on a dime anymore.
At this point the battle consists most likely of wearing out your opponent we'll just see who wears who out first.
I cannot foresee me having any kind of future in this place.
