Spirit in Black

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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Friday, October 30, 2009

The damage of gang stalking over the years

I was looking at that video on my YouTube.  I was looking at a recent video.

I scanned photos from ID's from 2006 when this just started to age me and compared them to the last photo taken.

Its astounding how from 2006 to now I have aged considerably.  A relationship with Scott Ashmanski, an abuser most likely sent to terrorize info out of see how much I knew during the federal investigation to protect rich criminals-- I noticed that a few lines started to show up then.  

But the real damage seems to have been during the years after leaving Boston and trying to do this without a place to live. First in shelters around the country and then as a traveler  or nomad recently in a group of other gypsy types that hate shelters.

the damage is from not enough rest, sex, decent food, emotional support.
It is from fear, induced self hatred,  stress, and being isolated and terrorized.

There is no way to fix years of abuse.  There is no way to get ones looks back, no way to get back opportunities or intelligence or talent.

Gang stalking makes no sense except for the fact that for reasons the public wont believe you are set up and there are many layers of deception. There are many layers of cover story.
However one must wonder why so many people hate one cant be real and it cant make sense.

But it is real.  Its to cover up crimes..even war crimes or illegal human experimentation that breaks the Nuremberg code. MK Ultra and the radiation experiments, the former my mother was a documented survivor of, is documented as breaking such codes and the files of the latter were destroyed for the most part so full investigation was never possible.

Whatever circumstances exist in the person's life that is what they will use against the Target, and the public needs to be more informed about deceptions and set ups, not so they will help us or care becuz they will not, but so when the designers of deception come to whisper in thier ears they will perhaps think before they believe what ever they are told and used as pawns.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Finally...a way to utilize David Lawson's book "Terrorist Stalking in America"

The reason this book became useless to alot of us is that
-no one could really find the author or he seems to mysterious to be credible
-it never mentions the involvement of fire, police or union workers (city workers, street, construction)
-it only offers the theory that they are "cults" or "extremist groups"..

We all know damn well that is NOT the only reason this is happening.  This book gave alot of false hope to many a TI early in their victimization.

However, after viewing this again :
....and after years and much travel being targeted in many different locations I am convinced that he is right about them being cults and extremest groups IN THIER NATURE or the way the members are enslaved to do this sort of work..


That seems to be the part that is omitted. Perhaps the author felt it was better to not say such things or perhaps this was a disinfo attempt.  Either way I just aced a way for you to make use of  something that was originally meant to weaken you.  

If you take this video and the books info and realize that they are cult mind controlled (as per my experience across the country) but definitely they are utilized by someone higher up..thats for sure.

Did the agency influence events to help Obama?/ Special people

If the agency did its usual 'influencing of events' like people the world over complain about and make claims of, then did that not only include blocking McCain, but assisting Obama covertly?

Influencing events to get Obama elected? Not only in design but with a covert campaign of influence?

As my mother used to say: "the sun always shines when your cool"...awe. Are we special? Are we thinking that we are the ONLY people on the planet who are part of the ancient sun cult or even deserve birth rights to what that means? Egos and power trips dont last eons. The structures do.

The sun in suncult will last...the men in the photo will be replaced by others again and again.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

disclosure= discreditation

Remember for most people involved in betraying a TI if the person tells their side this will be a relief for them. Finally the person can be fully discredited and they can be rid of them for good.   I can feel it. That is what everyone is waiting for.  

'Its almost over ' is what most of the *ssholes in my life are probably thinking.  Finally we can be rid of her.  In a very final sort of way, not just me wondering around still holding it together not saying anything. 

Just watch how true this prediction is going to be.  Watch how no one blinks an eye to anything I say or do just like its been  the whole time.  Systematic ignoring of the target/victim is the only way to ensure complete blocking of the person and their testimony.

I only care that other TIs hear what I have to say and to use it against any and all enemies, betrayers and perpetrators. 

This system lays lives to waste and then ignores what remains of the person. 

My ghost and your's deserves more.

More weird occurences akin to monitoring....but how is it done?

Alot of what TIs experience is like magic tricks....we still cannot figure out how its done.

I am recording some videos becuz I don't feel well lately and want some info out there in case anything happens.

I dont expect much to come of it except disclosure.

As I was talking about my experience in the Midwest and how they thought I was  Jewish there so they kept using that as a point of reference for abuse, as I said that I felt the greatest reaction from...someone. I get this occasionally- one can feel a strong reaction of what seems like a person who is watching the TI. And its too specific to be imagined.  I never know when its going to occur or to what stimuli.

This is why some TIs feel that the are chipped or monitored from somewhere in their bodies.

I was filming and I notice that these occasional occurrences only occur when I am in range of a surveillance camera or recording on my video camera..both of which I assume can be hacked.

It would be interesting to entertain the idea that a person could be monitored from something inside but how would it be done?  I am not a fan of just guessing at the use of tech....I loathe all that gang stalking related info that makes claims about secret this and that and how far the tech is ahead of what the public knows about-without ever furnishing any evidence or documentation.

The only thing I would consider is that the camera can be hacked would be easy enough.  I know  I felt some reaction from somewhere concerning the perps in the Midwest believing me to be was a pretty surprised reaction.

Now its to wonder who would be concerned with such a thing as being so important.

(Yes, Downcastmysoul  it was important that I leave but I needed medical attention and its only here I can get what I need. Also, its important to see how places we were targeted heavily have changed in order for TIs to build their experience. Thanks for your concern.)

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Targets are from all social stratas and classes

Received a correspondence from someone who thinks that only poor people get targeted. THIS IS WHAT THE SYSTEM WANTS YOU TO THINK and its part of alot of PR campaigns against the TI.

COMMENT: Many people "don't care" as long as they are
part of the herd that torments us. Most of
these morons probably don't realize that
anyone can become a Targeted Individual
if they are poor working class. Rich people
don't get stalked and electronically tortured
for obvious reasons.

REPLY: Read my blog. on there at the bottom there is a refence to a movie by nick Bloomfield called "searching for maggie" or something like that. Its about thier camera crew following Margeret Thatcher. In it there is a man who claims alot of what is considered by me and other TIs to be organized stalking and harassment for sure.

His business was ruined, he was hacked etc etc. He was saying too much at one time about Thatchers son's involvement in drug trafficking or rings. He was part of British politics which is notoriously classist country.

If anything, rich people and connected people get targeted all the time. THey are victim witnesses to alot of things that are profitable and important...also they have what we dont have-cred when they open thier mouths.

It seems gang stalking is often about VICTIM WITNESS INTIMIDATION. . You may not even know why...but they do.
This is why a pr campaign has to be waged against poor make people believe that poverty or immorality has something to do with motive.
Please see this movie.
THer is also another movie about Princess Di it was on cable a year or so back.

It has a couple talking about thier house being entered ever so carefully for someone to get a document pertaining to her death. They were told " You werent burglarized, you were targeted..and at no time ever were your lives in danger." at that point I guess his wife started crying.

actually the more you know or the more info you have to cause embarassment, the more you'll be likely to be targeted.

There are other examples I am sure that you can find of  people being targeted everywhere. Why would someone spend money on such manpower against a person who was a mere nothing? It doesnt make sense.

The perps will put out any amount of bullshit surrounding any part of the campaign against a TI. Only you know for sure why you are targeted..and if you dont then you need to do more research.

the hackers who harass us

I often wonder what these people possibly on the other end are thinking. I wonder if they know why they are targeting us, if its personal or business. If they hate us becuz there actually IS a movement out there where people think some or us are not good enough to have lives..or that they are so insane that they believe we need reform. Its probably just social control and just like the interviews from COINTELPRO videos from the 60s they have bought into the whole thing about anyone going up against the system "not knowing how to act" and it being there job to fix that by destroying lives. (by the way these people are either brainwashed or programmed. Believe it.)

There may be actual cleansing going on like we are not good enough or something and need to never be able to have successful lives.

There are many people who firmly believe in social control through such methods..I have met them and heard it inferred right there in my face that certain people are a threat that must be put down. You would not believe the attitudes that you are dealing with. I have had many interactions where things were said and done that are absolutely outrageous concerning some insane delusional sense of privileged to destroy and handle someone perceived as an activist or for social change. We all know the perps are insane but most of them are being intimidated in ways you dont see..its like someone threatening you with a gun at the front door of a house becuz some other guy has snuck in the back door and now has a gun to HIS head.

All these things are of course reasons perps may do things as they are misinformed of the truth as to why a TI is targeted.

The problem is that hackers do not have to show themselves and THIS is the most frustrating part of being targeted. They will never have to pay for what they did or what they have taken from a TI. Unless of course the system higher up decides its time..heh heh heh. This just could be the only way for a TI to get revenge. If there is intervention at a level ABOVE the networks themselves.

Who does this spoiled brat on the left really work for? who are his true employers?  american industry trash
omg what a bunch of  hipster douchebags..oy fukin vay: Chase bank ? give it up.y did anyone in norway ever talk to this guy anyway. r u insane? way to be a threat and then get destroyed..mediocrity can now reign again. fabulous. 

To all the people who took part in organized stalking and harassment during the war...enjoy the new economy

To all the perps who thought they could hide and make a quick buck off of harassing Targeted Individuals:
Enjoy the new economy. I have seen what Boston looks like now and they don't seem like the confident pumped up animals that they did during the war. If they have anything at all they look completely stressed out and if they are the underclass they look so depressed as to have a permanent look of contemplating suicide.
This is for you dears:

f*ckin clowns.
You should be as lucky to be as smart and resourceful, tough and inventive as TIs, who can survive circumstances you wouldn't dare try to navigate.
Enjoy your misery you cowards. Maybe you'll have to take a course in dumpster diving soon..oh that's right- you'd rather die.
Go for it darlings!
Maybe it'll become a popular group movement and you'll mindlessly follow the mob again as seems your nature..and what a better world that would be.

Friday, October 23, 2009

controlling the primitive energy of man as ultimate social control

In the video of the day posted to the right there is mention of the Anglo empire dictatorship or at least thier way of doing things.

The things I deal with more than other activists is the metaphysical aspect. This is very hard to navigate but it has to be dealt with. Due to idea that when you get into things like psychological warfare and altering events falsely really what you are doing is altering space and time falsely. Literally and in the person's perception.

The most dangerous part of any campaign to control man is deep inside man. You can trap him in a world of ads and television, imposing archetecture or other subliminal ways of control. If he no longer responds to these and as well,say, give him access to an information network where he can reach around the world or learn the truth for himself about things that may oppress him, you may need to dig further.

You begin to get into feelings and thoughts from within. You may even need to separate man from age old powers of his ancient culture. Digging deep within the DNA we can all rouse frightening energy especially from music of our ancestors. You would not believe the efforts, especially nowadays, to supress music and other media that connect peoples as well as activate energy production within people.  It seems very important to get rid of any and all native culture (and I mean from the blondest to the darkest peoples) that produces art that can energize the mind, the body or the spirit to a point where it becomes powerful.

The church used to serve this end but now that is not the way.

I see in the campaign to control man, in my own country anyway, the production of music that is bland, formulatic, purposefully enslaving. Top 40 has always been this way. However the invention of HD radio seems to make another effect...there is something about HD radio that makes it so energy cannot be gained from music. The mind is also not free to ponder on what one is listening to.

All efforts to heal oneself or gain/produce healing energy is very important to stifle.

Anyone who shows marked ability to produce large amounts of energy or any culture that can do the same will be cut down.

In the book by Bush's former speech writer we see a frightening attitude towards sensuality and expression-
Why must jazz be made non threatning as stated in this book? Why are there "..too many Italians making love to thier food"? This isnt a joke. Making things non-sensual and non-threatning may be one of the most dangerous ways to control life energy expression in man.

Technologies or drugs used towards this end would also have a great controlling effect on a population. Why build churches or preach when you can just block with technology, what makes humans powerful energy wise?

I know the concept of orgone is disputed by skeptics..that's becuz you had someone trying to use generators or creating a machine to capture said energy. I am talking about just experiencing it naturally.
It seems the threat is in any energy that can be expressed by man that is psychic or if man can connect to each other or if there is any 'psychic' force at all. Humans being able to have an inner life or go within the dimensions within themselves seems especially threatning now.

Obama comes to visit Duval Patrick

My experience with MA was bad enough during the obviously Republican gang up with Romney, Giuliani, and Bush where alot of us got the worst of the treatment of our lives. But I never saw the extent of corruption locally until over time being targeted. And special interests can come in ways you will never expect. The networks to get things done can come from the ground up..or the street.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Did I mention that no matter what happens you should not stop what you are doing ?

..and the system can go f*ck off even if it kills us to win. By the way alot of this is behavior modification to force some sort of success or acheivement out of us. Really that in itself is more diversion. We want you to achieve and be competitive..we dont want you to sit around pondering and thinking forming new theories and seeing through the systems b*llshit.

Especially utilizing all that there is in Boston to do so. Etc.

Thats my case anyway. These posts will make alot more sense when I get the hell out of here.

The internet and how it may take the life of a TI

So much of our life force is put into this network known as the internet..I wonder sometimes. No I KNOW there is something gone wrong with this.

Physical spaces are important to consider for a TI as old buildings seem safer for alot of us. Not only are the materials and solid building probably better to interrupt being targeted but energy from the past and past life forms seems to linger within these structures.

The structure of the internet is ever changing. But things are becoming difficult. Not free and not anonymous.Though the new Youtube design is easier to use the old one had its structure and its not something I wanted disturbed.

Not only does this take away a sense of control for the user really the creator of the work it changes the very history of energy that makes a time line for every TI and our activities.

This is very important for those of us who have no permanent place to call home and the only consistnecy IS a cyber place. Often we dont dare have our own websites as TIs show they get crashed often.

This could lead to a chance for the system to use this for modification.

All that modification is is to ensure the person no longer hangs onto the reality that once was. And through gang stalking- isolation, terrorizing, psych warfare, brain washing and systematic denial/ignoring of the TI this is what is attempted everyday.

I feel part of my timeline is tweeked or lost in cyberspace when the energy I originally put into things is altered or changed by whatever  change occurs in the cyber world.

This may pose the worst danger of all.Didnt Tim Leary commit suicide on the internet? This might be another way to ensure that you lose it and do away with yourself.
Lets take the away the person's real life out in the natural and man made world of solid and have them dedicate their energies to this cyber realm. Only to find years later when the harassment dies down that others have made lives for themselves or been handed opportunity and we have spent our lives doing something where still no one is listening.

Then we find that all the energy stored in our projects and creations in cyberspace are altered or that this is possible. For some TIs these cyber structures define thier history. And they can be more sure of these structures than the 1984 esque attempts constantly being made to re write the persons history of events in 'real' life.

So I suggest making a storline and documenting your story. Its like a back up disk of reality. Its sad but at this point you'll need it.

There is ALOT of non physical interference here...what was I thinking coming back here? This place can only be described by a word from the ancient hippie dialect from the 1960's. Heavy..and quite unpleasant for sure.

I'll feel relief the second I clear Boston proper..I always do. Outta here.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Suffering greatly in Boston..a model for a mind controlled false environment/ prison

This has to be the most evil place I have ever had to deal with. There has become something intrinsically evil about Boston over the years. Maybe it was always this way.

I am experiencing alot of the same effects of what must logically be tech. And its in the same ways in the same places as my last run through here. The MBTA train system is god damn managed by that Pavlovian bell system they have on the can feel it just eventually disturbing the private councousness of every patron and hypnotizing them along the way. Everyone looks so depressed. If they are at all successful they look like total stress cases and if they arent they all look like they are in a permanent statue pose of someone considering suicide.

Its awful. The kids are the only ones who seem to be enjoying themselves.

This place is a prison to begin with as the social class system and heirchy has always been but now it seems that tech and psych warfare on the masses has built upon that. I rate this very high on the list of cities I have been to that seems a model of a prison.

Now for practical reasons I understand that even more than NYC Boston must and will be protected from any and all terrorist threats. Notice how Boston never sees damage like other cities.
Youve got Raytheon here, MIT, Harvard, the mob, old money, new money, important politicians,the hospitals, prominent WASPS, Catholics and Jews. 128 in Waltham etc. There is no way that this place is getting touched by anything. Plus numerous college students to make money off of.

The amount of anti terror that I can tell from experience that is used here is incredible and sophisticated.
Perhaps they felt that only a prison type environment that only served to benefit the populations they wanted protected was in order. The problem with this is that any corruption on the part of the system will be deadly towards a target.  Any threat to anyone here who they feel is worth more than the target.

In other words it becomes an extension of how corrupt and paid off cops take care of inconvenient people for crooks. 
Perhaps its business as usual when rich criminals are worth protecting opposed to someone who cant pay off the system.

Also I can say that I am being tortured here now daily and one of the results desired seems to be that I should run off and start ratting on my old associates in order to save my life. I am actively being tortured with that ideation.   The physical sensations are horrible.  And you dont even want to know what goes on mentally.

Its not that I dont think they all deserve total ruination considering what they helped do to my life.  And if ever they thought I was ever going to do anything to them thus thier part in this campaign, they were fooled by the same system.  Its called a set up.   (Also none of my eccentricities ever mattered before 2003 and everyone getting busted. I notice its just easier to get rid of me than for anyone else to be wrong. I have been dealing with being targeted my whole life and especially since 1996 after my mother tried to go to the Presidents Advisory Commitee for Human Radiation Experiments and dropped it due to being 'followed'. (When is everyone going to get a clue that that is probably what this is really about?  Its so damn obvious. Just the timing in itself is enough.)

Its that I do not think the feds or whoever should conduct themselves this way and if they insist on such methods I  dont want to deal with them anyway.  Its called a subpeaona. Unless you have one I dont have anything to say to you.   Its a set up.  This is what was happening in 2006. People who looked like feds in sedans were messing with me and people were accusing me of running from the FBI.   Its all b*llshit.  The people who were my old associates will never be touched by anyone and we all know it.  Also its a bit late for that now and finally its been intimated to me that I have been discredited due to me acting crazy publically while being targeted over the years anyway.

So why the continued harassment over such an issue?

Part of MK Ultra was to gain confession from 'agents'..anyone who knows anything about this will know that they are simply trying to beat a survivor's programming.  
From what I have seen there is an effort to get confession out of programmed people as well as test the limits of programming that resembles that of a suicide bomber.  A terrorist. 

The behavior modification programs that alot of us are in are to reform people who are programmed and to see if programmed people can be modified.  There has been much in the news over the past years dealing with trying to get suicide bombers to convert their ways or beliefs.  On higher levels that do not want the public to know about programming...ever.. these actions are done covertly.

THIS is why I will not comply as my Will is being bent.  Becuz its all about human experimentation not me being a real threat. And its about the factions..the powers that be continung to want to use mind control to get things done.

I will not take part in continuing these horrors of the human race.  I dont care who's security is at stake.  My life has been ruined and I have no peace and no future.   I will now not just turn around and behave.    As far as I have researched I was doing everything I was supposed to the right way to become a healed person with a productive life. Other survivors have identified the same methods that I was using intutively as the right way to go about healing.

The threat is ultimately that one could become self programming. I believe this is the ultimate thing they dont want happening.  Also it seems that to test the limits of someone's internal systems is the end to these means. 

Why was it so impossible for me to go to school and get a therapist who could actually help me put my intense creative energy into something channeled properly?  I used to ask for help all the time and people would just stale mate me constantly.  However, no one ever accused me of being as crazy as I magically was percieved as during getting targetd around the time of that federal investigation.  So no one before the take down in 2005 accused me of being nuts, however no one would really help me help myself either. 

Its called handling.

Then when you wont be handled you get destroyed.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

To miss De Witt

Please email me at  Iwant comments to be for readers and to be short/consice.

I often do not post anything that is too long or not to the benefit of my readers.

You also may be experiencing being targeted by hackers.

Try different computers until you get your emails or messages across. libraries in universities or colleges or public libraries. Systems where you dont have to use any ID or can use someone else's work. Use multiple e-mails. use fake IDs on those emails.

It becomes about blanket bombing, becuz remember your being targeted specifically.

also it could just be your computer or something in the system u use for emails. You always have to wonder though.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

How activism can replace life or producing your own work

We have all seen the payoffs and favors that go to our perps former intimates and strangers alike.
For all the activism we do in self defense or to feel we are keeping  ourselves alive it only serves as a diversion.  Everyone around us seems to go on with thier lives and grow.  We only become more destroyed with time.
The activism we do is not probably work we would have chosen to do. We are not building our empire but everyday restoring what little of our lives hasnt fallen to the campaign of psychologocal warfare and terror.

As I looked at my new YouTube channel that I did not chose to accept but was changed for me by YouTube, I realized that everything we have created as TIs over many years may be destroyed with the crashing of a site or some other tech screw up. The control we have over public use and free sites is an illusion. Some of us have worked on nothing but this for years.

I believe that during the last many years and all that has happened the internet has served as not only a part of a human experiment in itself but also specifically with TIs to keep up very much busy.  NOT having our own lives.

There is more to all this that is happening. Its about human experimentation and MK ultra. Its about the arrogance of slavery-mind control slavery.  Its about anti terrorism tech being abused to gain confession or get rid of someone inconvenient.

Ruining someone's life is taking away thier Will.  For a TI to spend thier life on this instead of producing work they would have wanted to produce according to thier own Will is mind control in itself and a prison.

Deceptions by perps- validating any and all abuse via excuses/keeping true motives for targeting hidden

I had a little week long rest once. In this place were female perps like you wouldnt believe. One I even recognized but couldnt figure out from where ( I hate that-when it happens.)
A younger woman named Danielle Debrule started being friendly with me. Out of nowhere she said (once again the faceless 'They') "They're angry with you because you're not accepting your situation".
[Of course I never will accept this 'situation' the way I can tell its laid out for me. The choices of being either a suicide, turned into a total submissive abused sex slave or a normalized, uncreative hive worker- basically an emptied battery- does not appeal to me. None of those were in MY original plans nor are any of those outcomes good enough for me.]
She then described how John Kerry's daughter "needed to learn the way the world worked" due to the fact that she was full of herself in high school and tried to act that way in college. She then validated all the actions she was intimating had been done against this other obviously targeted person, by stating that Kerry's daughter eventually won a marathon or some other accomplishement. (Danielle also has an AOL address..its My Jedi Mind Trix..what does that say?)

Firstly, if you are capable of achieving and excelling the gang stalking system will more permanently limit any long term capacity you have via damage. Its like you only get to spit out great towering achievement after they almost crush you. You produce this out of the instinct to survive and to prove your life is worth something..that you are still alive.

I know. It was basically intimated by another source at another time: that one artistic achievement was all I had in me. And its all due to thier non sense. But I often know what other things could I have done or works I could have produced.

Secondly, if your a politician's daughter then you are going to be targeted for purely political reasons or for reasons of power play concerning that family not becuz of some perception about the way you act socially.

But I bet the public or some of the crowd actually will believe that.

These are the ways that perps validate what they do to people's lives. Invalidate and deny that its abuse at all.
If you believed her you'd think that 'the crowd' thought she deserved it and it was for her own good after all becuz in the end she achieved something.
This is total bullsh*t.
The whole time this girl spoke about this she was totally jealous of the target she was talking about and looked as if Kerry's daughter won the lottery and she didnt when she said that she ended up racing a marathon..(notice the word 'ended'.She "ended up" doing something. In the end.. She used that specifically.
All thier games or plays or theatres have 'ends' to them. They dont live them, they play along in them. (In YOUR life) Really I could tell that the system she had become part of (as a perp) out of obvious desperation and lack of her own Will to break out of slavery was never going to let her go..and THAT is what she was jealous of--in the end(ha ha).

In THE END these people play along with YOUR life and help ruin it and the whole time they never get any mention or attention of thier own. Its like they are non entities. And they dont care for what damage they cause becuz as far as they are concerned you were superior to them anyway and in the end you'll prove that by achieving under extreme duress when they cant do shit on thier own to begin with.

Most likely they are either programmed or they are just too group minded and afraid of the consequences of leaving what is essentially a cult. So they dont consider the damage caused to you the target becuz they think, like an envious thief, that you can afford to lose what they dont have to begin have enough of it.

Directing the public's mind to the conclusion or convincing doubtful/thinking individuals that what is done is valid, deserved, necessary or beneficial is one of the greatest deceptions I have encountered them working on. I have seen them try to pass it off on me and I have seen them try and succeed often, to convince someone to perp me or pass judgment that ends up in my misery.

Its something they have to maintain constantly in order for thier system to work.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Chemtrails/ possible link to skin and clothing

I dont know what to think of this subject matter. I understand what they are saying about the way they look in the sky but what proof is there that they have any chemicals in them?

However I do know that certain factions are documented as to have been experimenting with drugs to control humans- 'mind control'. Thier thoughts, feelings/emotions,etc.
Psychological warfare- to gain peoples hearts and minds. Wouldnt this make it outright easier.

So spreading such drugs or chemicals either on a large scale or targeting just one person or group is definitely feasible.

Many TIs have personally experienced being what could be described as 'dosed' with a surprise attack via spray bottle. There are other ways of delivery as well.
It must be assumed that if one faction has this resource and power then others do to.


If you want to try and waste your time trying to figure out who is doing this exactly then you do that. I dont have any idea becuz I dont have the data or the connections. Just follow paper trails about who has been experimenting etc.

One of the reasons its so fun for perps is that alot of people know what is up and TIs seem to know things they shouldnt or be against what is going on. Its fun for them to be informed and to watch the TI struggle to understand.
They believe we are inferior often becuz we are ignorant...well alot less ignorant than the average person out there thats for sure. And if we are so inferior then why the need suppress what we think and say or oppress us as people?

I have noticed something concerning the clothing issue.
Also being dirty oppossed to showering frequently.

As a traveler now I run into alot of people who feel its better to be dirty. For health reasons I do not wish to be a dirty kid..also if I do not shower I feel unhealthy and even depressed. In certian areas where I travel I feel lets say much more strong and mentally coherent when I shower. There may actually be things that can stick to the skin and stay in the clothing. How the delivery system works I do know. If it is air born like chemtrails makes sense.

I felt a profound change after dealing with a health issue involving my skin.
My fear is that should I post it then the system will change the way it does things to make this way of fixing the problem ineffective. You have to understand that alot of what is going on targeting us is to see just how far each of us can be pushed until we give in or wear down into the behavior modification system/program we are in. This also might involve taking any info we present and using it to show that someone smart but not knowledgeable could figure this out and make a simple cure or remedy. We may very well be helping these assholes test thier damn prison system. That is why I dont just publish all the ways I fight what is going on. Why so the perps can make improvements? F*ck them.

So that is a recent discovery.

I will not get into this becuz it really sounds paranoid but there is a story about a person on a bus who was convinced that they experienced alot of people getting sleepy at the same time on this bus. That the public may well be chemically dosed in lots of ways of delivery. If it can happen to one person why not many?
However, not only would this cause hysteria among sheep but it sounds way to out there. Even though its have to be careful with this one. Claiming that one person gets messed with by a group targeting them is unbelievable enough but to claim some faction is messing with mass mind control of the populous.

I just cant go near that one. I would rather illustrate how it is done to one person and let other people reach the conclusion that other uses for such things are possible.

It could even be to target only certain groups in the population as you would target a TI individually.

Another reason I am not comfortable with posting all my ideas is becuz the military or NASA I forget were having sci fi writers and other creative people think up scenarios and then put them up for feasibility testing. With TIs someone could be getting that free. Possibly.

I only know what TIs tell me and what I have experienced. Most of the public wont care about this anyway..they havent been cheated out of thier health, youth, mind and out of their lives. They are satisfied and have no reason to chase answers. To expose things as the only means of revenge. Anyone who wants the info can have it. They would have to be looking for this subject matter anyway.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Movie Review- "Human Target" aka "Final Round" 1994 star Lorenzo Lamas

Hollywood has a knack for taking subject matter that is so sinister that it is totally feasible and making it look like its pure imagination. Especially if its low budget. (the Sci Fi channel serves this purpose now I assume).
However I have noticed that the gang stalking system could very well give dry writers alot of ideas..such as female musicians from Boston who were known as difficult so moved to LA, thier concept album sucked so they make an album out of TIs stories and say mine was included..oh, and say my ex who sold me out made her video. Stuff like that tends to make one suspect that intel people do more for Hollywood than just advise slightly on movie sets.

There are multiple stories concerning other sides to this possible same system, like Hollywood targeting people with gang stalking like actions while they are negotiating for a contract..for instance the guy who lived through the real life Quiz show era was negotiating his story with lawyers and refused to be bamboozled and he wrote in The New Yorker about such 'odd' and 'strange' experiences resembling being spied on, targeted, watched and random, mild interrogation for information.

This movie is another possible dimension to a TIs situation.
Its satisfying also due to the person we can imagine is the TI winning in the end and crashing the whole system. Enjoy!

Its also wonderfully 80's cheesy, such as one of the fight moves being putting a guys head against a ceiling fan. Great.

'The Office' portrays psych warfare and workplace mobbing as funny/harmless

No, that was a natural reaction to psychological warfare and being targeted through repetitive tactics. THAT was workplace mobbing.

Yet in this TV show that used to rely on good writing and good dry humor/ dead pan from the actors, these actions of torturing another human being are represented as humorous, funny and rather harmless.

Oh you are just soooo bad ass working at a desk and all and being sneaky as well as ganging up on someone. Sucks when you have to resort to being so ballsless becuz, well people..that seems to be the way you live your whole lives and conduct all your affairs. Warfare for lazy cowards.

If this happens to you dont this especially. Its what the weaklings want. RESISTANCE IS FOR THE STRONG. Then you take action.

Study psychological warfare and return engagement accordingly.

Friday, October 9, 2009

On yesterday's post

 How it should be:

I did not have time to mention that I was getting dressed in the van where I got harassed so I could go to the hospital for a suspected UTI and I was pissing blood. Also my old scars from multiple endometriosis surgeries sometimes suffer due to the heaviness of my backpack  and for the last two days I had been laid out unable to walk in the van.
Essentially they messed with someone who was trying to get a ride out for a medical reason...why would you do that?

So I dont want some BS attitude about how this is what everyone deals with from 'front gate' or that they dont put up with anyone's bullsh*t etc.
The plain and simple fact is that I did not give them any bullshit they gave me unwarranted grief that was unfair and instead of being called on their shit and standing up to what they did they had me mobbed to cover up for their mistake..

ALL FOR SOME OOGLE NAMED JASMINE WHO HAS NEVER BEEN TO A GATHERING ..I find the whole thing very interesting--and highly suspect.

I seem to have been warned about that van as well in Nashville..the kid who owns it has slipped and said that his dads money goes towards the fact that he 'gets lots of tickets for stealing and never gets in trouble'. I should have known that the owner of the van paid off the cops somehow becuz it stands out like a sore thumb on the road..
When that van showed up in Nashville at the squat a cop car haunted our spot until said van and its occupants left town.(they came back again and this is in my tired state I just decided to go to the gathering) It was probably a warning and  I ignored it.
I also had the feeling that I should NOT go to this gathering but go straight to my next destination...and now I know why..

Like I said at a Rainbow family gathering that was much larger, you'd have park rangers and elders and more true level headed security. And that is also becuz this was not a money making gathering so keeping the peace isnt that important..
Its another lesson about activism: Anyone who is really doing anything is a threat to those inside and outside the system. I just wonder how rebellious most people I meet really are.
My activism is based on how to avoid cult mind control and the power of group think and 'the mob'..was it expected that I would just bow down to some concept of a cult to explain away a certain factions actions?  I am THE LAST person who is going to be intimidated by a group, especially a faction of that group that resembles corrupt 'might makes right' or some form of fascism.

Like I said before  bigger gatherings with more level headed people measure up to Rainbows claims in a big way..but beware always and be ever vigilant of ANY group that demands you put up with abuse as part of 'the way it is'.  Its then called a cult.
And I know Rainbow in its finest expression is NOT that.
(anyone got even limited "access"? I would LOVE to see this guy's full rap sheet)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Shawnee, Illinois "rainbow" gathering..beat up for standing up

I want to say for the record that bigger regionals as well as the nationals I went to were HEALING and very loving and accepting of me. I actually healed from being around  Rainbow family.
The sub regional known as 'Shawnee' is not the same kind of Rainbow gathering at all but a few kitchens with some very questionable trash doing 'security' at their imaginary, self created "front gate".

Now I see the govt's problem with them...but they don't seem smart or motivated enough to be terrorists as they like to claim they are on blacklists for. I looked at front gate..if you wanted to take them out as part of something 'in the interest of national security' or some sort of Jonestown type deal that is hush-hush getting rid of a threatening out of control group of would be very easy the way they are set up. I am saying it would have been done LONG AGO that way if they were truly a threat.
 And people in the kitchens told me to go to front gate to call them on thier actions or to talk to 'council'. Really what this did is lure me or bait me into thier 'territory' so that I would have to either keep quiet about what they did on the way out or say something  and get f*cked with.

I could call the cops but I will let Rainbow take care of itself..or whoever would like to intervene perhaps silently on my behalf...or as always wait for an opportunity to present itself. It always does.

Also Budah was driving a TN plate 759WBM beige ford explorer. Probably someone elses car.

What one also may be dealing with is subliminal racism, classism or sexism.  Alot of these kids are still working for the 'man' whether they know it or not. Alot are from upper middle class families or wealthy families and they seem very passive aggressive or have repressed anger or rage issues that they were raised to WASPily politely 'stifle it'.
If they think, just like daddy, that they can get away with pushing around a poor, ethnic sort of  person who is also a female left on her own it seems they much identifying with the aggressor they are trying so hard to escape from. Or perhaps anyone who is really doing anything against the system and not just hiding out in the woods is a threat as in a capitalist society they quietly depend on that very system to fuel and fund thier oasis.
If you go to the Nationals and larger gatherings (out west moreso I assume) you will get the magic and healing of Rainbow and they live up to thier ideals and thier claims.

An interesting note about Shawnee national forest and the town of Anna ILL, USA.
IT IS DIRECTLY IN THE PATH OF THE 'TRAIL OF TEARS'. The minute I got a ride out of there to a nearby town I felt better. Its not a positive place thats for sure and if you are a sensitive who suffers much in places like this stay the hell away from it. The only time the energy improved was when someone strongly Native in DNA was near me.(and I felt that before someone told me about the trail).

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Alert..more triggering BS from media ("Lie to Me" season 3-Fox)

I was feeling very suicidal tonight very bad. I started my period (TMI?) and things have not been fun here at all lately. just a grind realy.

i was doing one of those long stares in the mirror of this place, like when you want to look for a reason as to why it might not be worth it....then a woman came in to the bathroom. I was doinng something and something about her presence just clicked. I realized that all the women in my life have been taken from me. And my dealings with women latley have been freindly but men have been my companions. Lost all my women friends and all my relatives.  So if you are trying to subjegate a woman who is seen as too agressive and to destroy a strong dissedent who is female to disuade activism then rip her apart from the women in her life, especially if she comes from an environement where females where the nurturing faction in her childhood.

Intimate things along the gs campaign like she likes to be the baby all the time..make it about her having to grow up..thus be subjegated b men.

I realized there wsa nothing wrong with me all this time that this was part of my gs syndrome of my tailored campaign.

TI tired

"Oh! I'm sorry Rachael. Thanks for clearing that ... Oh! I'm sorry Rachael. Thanks for clearing that up. Sometimes I can be a bit obtuse. And thanks for blogging in general. It has been very helpful to me.


Publish Reject (bitman) "
You realize that squatting  under a bridge  undisturbed by authorities or gangs or whatever along with it being spacious and having traveling kids there with me like a camp..for me that is the urban camping version of a good score like a hotel to most people. Its more sleep than I get in a shelter thats for sure..however one never gets enough sleep. And being a TI the damage from years of this leaves real rest just a memory.  Very few times can you feel safe enough to drift into that deeeeeep sleep where the body just rejuvenates itself and heals.. the system knows this is a side effect.
 So often times me being a female we get what our society calls a 'bitch' even though I have been pushed and am operating on primitive levels of war-mode.  Me being female in a repressive Judeo-Christian etc etc makes hard ass and bitch easy ways out for that society. So yes, I am going to snap and glorify in how smart I am and how quick I figured something out becuz..well thats all I do at top speed all day long. Hyper vigilance is not the best use of high intelligence..its a waste of high intel and the gang stalking system also knows this. That is why the gang stalking system operates the way it does. 
In my case it seems they want either suicide or for me to give up any hopes for the future outside of mindless conformity.

My vocational testing said I should be doing (1 dancer,2 painter, 3writer, 4detective/cop) at the top four and go for the petty shit listed on the bottom like 'clerk' or 'personal care assistant' something menial. 
Mass Rehab did this to me..they helped target me as I was trying to go to school. My councillor sucked so bad that I had to get one of the higher up people be my councilor. Then he kept trying to avoid those top choices (ok so I know I was too old to be a dancer..) and kept going for the lower menial stuff. It was odd thats for sure. The woman who did the 3 week grueling vocational testing where they test your reflexes and so many other things to be thorough, she said to me once that my councilor could probably work with my depression in the winter (which is called Seasonal Affective Disorder..its not a disorder its from not enough sunlight. In other countries they have ultra violent lights that people use to get the light they need indoors during the winter. I also get brain dead if its too hot like in the South west in the summer. So what? that is why Europeans take day naps and conduct business around that...sometimes I just think we should all move back to Europe where our ancestors of different nations seem to have made peace with each climate they exist in.  Its like Europeans are trying to exist in this land that just is NOT natural to thier bodies.)
 ..I was so under the gang stalking spell that I told her sheepishly that my councilor does not do for me what he does for other clients. which was true. She just looked at me and her eyes went wide for a moment..that whole look when someone knows there is something up and gets scared at why you are being singled out. She then of course politely helped the targeting along by going into denial about it.  Its true..there are some people who MA Rehab pays there rent  and for a computer as they send them to school and gives full support to. Other people come out of there saying they did little but discourage them from doing anything with thier lives.
As I closed my case with MA Rehab becuz of all the pressures with the harassment and a moldy apartment ruining my health, the councilor played up the pretend nice and then said that there was "something there" and that is the cause of what was keeping me back. If I was diagnosed with anxiety and really that was what was being made worse by thier lack of assistance as going to college is overwhelming, there isnt 'something there'. They are supposed to be able to work with something like this.
All around I got used to being treated differently. This is on sign you are targeted and its working becuz you expect to be kept down and settle for less. I dont know if these people only know that they are paid or advised to help keep you down or that they believe you dont deserve an equal chance due to some cover story or that they outright know about mind control slavery etc and entire families being targeted.  I have met people in different settings who seem to be in on the whole family being a targeted family whos members are never going to be allowed to get anywhere in life of any power or significance.
I had someone recently write me that its becuz I come from a Catholic family and it doesnt matter that I was not baptized.  This might be true if someone is targeting people from Cork (Mother Jones home town) that shut the shades on Queen Victoria as she rode through the streets but that battle isnt ours anymore and its long long ago my great grandmother passed on such stories.  How then do you explain the Italian side that came here with money?  So if its not about an old battle where Catholicism is an obvious signifier of being an enemy of another then how does it factor in?  I just dont get it. Really its a perp tactic to confuse the real cause which for me is about programming and on a more recent level, my associates business affairs and thier uber rich brat scene of fucked up trust fund kids who dont want anyone to know that they are more white trash than any street kid ever could be just by thier living habits. Rich white trash.. fabulous.
  Behavior modification and Confession:
Really its about trying to get the TI to confess as soon as possible under duress and then from there the behavior modification can take full affect.
I was thinking about that as I woke up from a nap few moments ago.
That the pain is just pushing out a confession from me of just any private thing really but always something I think will save me from further targeting.  You have to remember firstly this is what they want to make you into a rat to get you further ostracized.  Also, confession is a step in behavior modification. And guess what? If done wrong it probably wont save you it will however make thier power over you much more strong..we made you confess.  None of us should have to live publicly as we do and they know damn well it robs us of power.