Spirit in Black

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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The heat here is intense last few days. Those last two blog posts reflect well as me getting aggrevated by the heat. But I never censor these posts content unless I feel it was a mistake that genuinely needs to be fixed. I am not going to lie to any reader about how bad this is or the results one can see over time of the aggrevation, the damage and the change in a TI's character.

The stress levels involved in being a gang stalking target are incredible. And to never get leave or a break unless its part of conditioning- for example I am one of the Targets that seem to get relief from remote influence only on holidays and in this part of MA, Sundays. My theory has been posted that I believe this is part of behavior modification-that a target along the way of slipping into brainwashing will start to associate holidays with relief and be more apt to conform to mainstream society. They know damn well that I do NOT see relatives. Unless they are SO full of themselves that whoever does the targeting by either tech or human forces to produce remote influence, has family to visit themselves or, more ridiculously, these bastards actually have holidays off as perps. We live in a society that is so controlled now that I can totally see ruining someone's life as well as destroying targets being on a work schedule. Just like the effects always end at approximately 12 midnight all across the USA and begin again @ about 6 am..give or take a half hour depending on location.

I dont give in to terrorism or people commenting anonymously that they think I am hurting TI's or being negative. They dont reveal thier identity so that tells you one thing for sure.

Behavior modification has become the norm in the USA from meds being prescribed for non existent 'disorders' to totally unethical camps to intimidation and deception in media along with terror and fear mongering to the most harsh covert campaigns against Targeted Individuals. Harsh pychological warfare that no one is going to believe. Especially in a country where people dont want to look at facts or truths that CAN be proved easily with little research- they cannot make that jump to believe in covert warfare, especially things like black ops, psychological operations and the use of methods like tech or even psychic warriors.

Yesterday was a very hard day it was unusually hot. Also dont think that getting me out in public acting out is going to save yer asses or further smear campaign becuz I am the first one to admit that I am becoming burnt out from being targeted far too long without a good support system. I also readily acknowledge that any prior issues I had that were sensitive subjects with me are taken full advantage of by this system and the TI if often made to react under years of stress in extreme ways. I document all of it so you can go ahead and document it as well.

Its very important to counter thier smear campaign as its ongoing usually.

Friday, August 27, 2010

The most annoying recent comments by perps

"Its over". Two older Cambridge type white women walking through Central Sq while I pan handled. I shouted back that its never over. Bitches.

"What you're doing isnt working". Mid age males stated a total of three times in 2 years. Which considering how creepy the statement is its too much already.

"that one there- she is so evil". Obviously worth ignoring as I am far from the one who is 'evil' in this whole scenerio. But smear campaigns supporting bs cover stories can never end as then the truth would shatter lies and come shining through destroying all falsehoods and blinding the perpetrators.
Evil huh? One female perp in AZ years ago suggested that I was too close to the perps in my understanding of ability- her statement was "You are either with them or against them" as the main reason I was targeted.
So if one is partially evil or has some evil in one's nature but tries to utilize such insight for the betterment of society or social conditions- one is a threat to corruption plain and simple.

My favorite is 'what yer doing isnt working' as the number one overt comment that not only in one sentence shows that they know far more than they should but also the mixed messages are perfect: go back to your old lifestyle or give up any connection to who you are and conform and forget this ever happened.

That is the power of the people that pull this sh*t. ONE SENTENCE has that much content. This is the true essence of covert gang stalking campaigns. No one but the abusers and the victim know what is being said in total...and no one understanding or believing leaves the victims isolated with thier abusers.

Or should one take into account that perhaps what I am doing IS 'working' for me anyway in good time. This may be the best reason to flip the person with the idea that it is NOT 'working'. Its amazing isnt it? As long as you keep someone brainwashed you can actually make them believe, in a moment of terror, that what THEY are doing as VICTIMS is not working when actually the reason that nothing is 'working' towards thier success or flourishing beyond survival is that the very system claiming THEY are not handling being a gang stalking target IS the reason that life seems to be 'not working'.

Brainwashing, every single sentence, ever single word.
Dont let em do it to ya.

After a day in the gang stalking prison/ a post from ONMC.Wordpress

Its 12:40 am in Boston. Of course my senses have fully returned, my circumstances seem normal again and I have returned to my sense of Self. This will end at approx 6am, 6 hours from now. One should not live thier life out truly only between the hours of 6 am to 12 midnight. A prison and we are supposed to go crazy inside of it until we reveal everything about ourselves to everyone in cyberland. Most likely to create and be part of this new world, where disconnection creates so much imaginary 'danger' in the minds of guilty men of power. Knowing everything about everyone, even if it destroys who they are as a total human being, is worth the price of constant 'people management' and interrogation.
Until all there is left is the information and nothing left of the person. I wonder if this information is so important as to create the best AI possible or some sort of other creation. To not be allowed to live normally during normal daylight hours and to be squeezed to death for information has got to be more than just the cost of powerful men's paranoia. Its most likely a way of ensuring that someone unsuitable for power, never gains any position of power becuz power is ultimately secrecy. Everything I post about myself, if I was so not denied a private existence, I could easily create a very interesting existence for myself just on the info I have access to from internal programming as well as life experiences. Whatever is happening right now, people like myself seem a threat that must be managed.

I recall once a woman who obviously knew some of my situation, looking at me drawing. I have seen this look before a few times and its this look that says a few things:
-this girl is incredibly intelligent
- this girl must be kept from knowing how intelligent she is and what value that has
-this girl must be kept down
-this girl is kept stupid by circumstances that keep her controlled
-I enjoy the control that the situation and controllers have over her as it renders me powerful
-I am afraid
Its one of the creepiest things you will ever experience in a situation like mine. And then one thinks back to my father's supposedly insane claims pertaining to a secret govt project which includes my mother, her family, the military and the CIA. Then I recall my mother discovering she was a documented survivor of human radiation experimentation- which is connected to many sub projects that were 'secret' projects documented to be sponsored by the military and the CIA.
This is why I never fully believe things that come to mind that are not from my own recall directly connected to my own life in the here and now. All of the things I mentioned above could be just manipulative. Its been said by at least one survivor that the New Age movement is actually a disinfo campaign. That its run by covert factions connected to Dirty Tricks, social engineering and programming. So what should one think of past life memories in such a case?

I know I dont imagine feeling totally messed up until approx 12 midnight and I didnt imagine the psych warfare campaigns.

Its so obvious what is going on. Music the way its made now, the content as well as the tech like HD radio, its meant to create a comfy prison not anything where one can get energized. TV the content is just as hollow and if one looks at the difference between digital and the old VCR or VHS taped content there is a warmth to the analog. The human mind is too perceptive for these tricks. I know damn well I am watching pure numbers, my mind registers that. And its a joke when they do computer animation that is plainly NOT in real time with the actors presence- they dont even do a good job of pretending they are looking at something real.

My life is so opposite to that experiment I was going to try, living in only real time no dead time, not Pre Recorded Light and Sound Images. Its sad to think I will never know genuinely what that is like. Even if I did such a thing now it wouldnt be a true test. In fact the presence of whatever is so active in our society now as far as tech makes it totally compromised. I was even going to not use electric light. Imagine how peaceful that would have been. I had just learned to love being with myself after years of what most people would refer to tastelessly as 'a hard life'. Now I am being hounded until I give up any memory or any impression of who that person was or anything about that life or any of its content. Its like this system wants to create such a drastically new Self that my true and original identity is akin to a past life- one that I will not be allowed to remember once I give in to behavior modification totally.

It will never happen. I will hold onto my true Self even if it burns my mind out completely. All that I write in these blogs and all that I recall is mine. I wont bury it for anyone or any force.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Its mail call again: Comment from reader on Aquino post on Wordpress

"First off, the fact that Aquino molested kids is just that, FACT. OF COURSE the man is programmed but so are a lot of people who are inherantly negative and vampiric. He's a scapegoat by choice, he's a FRONT MAN you see. And do you see him in jail for raping those kids? No, even though their testimony accurately described his private bed chambers! Aquino is still up and running. So don't think he's too big a patsy or anything. The very fact Aquino is WILLING to cover up these crimes for his superiors says a lot. SECOND, You totally suffer from "ganstalking syndrome". it's so bad reading you sometimes I feel so sorry for you. It's easy enough for me to tell when you're just in delusion, and it's sad at this point. But at the same time I have watched you put yourself back in harms way by going back to the Boston area. WHY? It doesn't seem to me like you WANT to be settled, it seems like you want action. The truth is the gangstalking and all the constant low level action are distracting you from writing a book and getting into a HOME. My friend who was gangstalked managed to give them the slip. They didn't know her whereabouts for months because she got out of the city. She also didn't blog her whereabouts daily. Just a suggestion.
By Anonymous on Driving a TI crazy to turn perp or discredit one's... on 8/22/10 "

Gee, I suffer from 'gang stalking syndrome' ? No shit, I happen to be a gang stalking target so that would pan out just by simple logic.

Also dont feel bad for me as I am just doing my job which by the way is none of your business unless you programmed me for what is happening right now. Also being a TI along with being a survivor of programming is very complicated. And the day that you
know how to beat the powerful effects of remote influence technology especially since Bush it seems its very prevalent and has formed not only parameters but has formed essentially a prison in the USA and according to British TI's its the same deal over there, when you know how to beat that you let me know.
Getting housed might be the worst thing you can do if you are targeted heavily with weapons and tech. And we who recall home break ins with much trauma in the early days arent too keen on having a 'home' ever again anyway.

And as for my hometown NO ONE is going to keep me from my city. I notice that the two places I have the most energy that would lead to my success in life- NYC and the state of AZ are the two places I am chased out of immediately after setting foot on their soil. No one is going to keep me away from the place of my birth, not man nor any force he can conjure. This is MY motherfucking home, too bad if its so infiltrated and occupied by enemy forces or at least enemies of TI's. There are things about Boston that cannot be replicated or found anywhere else in the USA and that includes something very special about the Atlantic ocean as well as much sun symbolic/Masonic archetecutre. No one is keeping me from my city especially the place my parents met in Harvard Sw or Cambridge where I was born.

And how do you know what I need to do? I love these commments that have something productive to them and then something detrimental so that it has a greater chance of getting published. And my writing this is a time waster right? Whatever.

Or an attempt to get me to tell everyone even more about the way I think etc.

As TI's need to know one of the deadliest things IS pity and people feeling 'bad' for us. It destroys morale faster than any outright attack ever would.

And as for "action" I was built for motherf*cking action and if the system didnt want action from me it should have left me to be a therapist and a side artist living in a nice house with a well to do nice husband which is what I was aiming for and with my looks and smarts it would have been easy to settle down to that scenerio over time.
So dont look to me to explain my actions. Ask whoever is behind imprisoning me why it had to go down this way. I am sure everyone involved has a million excuses and rationales for my and any other TI's situation. And then there is always the good old 'yer just nuts' bullsh*t.

And dont send anymore two content comments as I usually ignore negative content or anything too long or links I dont have time to check to make sure they arent perp content.

Discovered new counter tactic- get out of the system when you can

Sunday is a day in this location where there seems to be less remote influence than any other part of the week. Thus I also note that its a bad day for in person human forces gang stalking bs. Which is exactly what I experienced the last time I was here-the same exact conditions in the same location.

Central Sq Cambridge wins the award for the greatest number of gang stalking assholes in the Boston/Cambridge area. They have got to be the worst. Almost as bad as St Louis MO. But not as bad as AZ.

This perp was watching me stalking me basically and lately they are trying to get me to make nice with them- this is a way of handling a target as well as if you note its always guys who seem to have perverse intentions like Johns, pedos or abusers. Men with issues are usually perps.

Being in contact or having these types of men or even women engaging daily is what drives the TI crazy over time and makes it very hard for them to act against the system especially in self defense. It keeps them brainwashed, under control. It also forms the perception (via repetition daily which IS the definition of brain washing) that this is what thier life consists of and always will. It is what drives many TI's to suicide eventually.

You notice that really when you break the 'spell' or effects of brainwashing itself.

I talked to the young clerk inside the liquor store where I was returning bottles that are left near the squat at the park every weekend. Its easy enough and makes it so I feel the environment is served a bit. I told him about the creepy guy outside (who was an MBTA employee by the way I could spot the patch on his sleeve under his sweatshirt.)
I woulnt talk to him so he stalked me instead.
The second that I told someone about his presence outside and the kid looked out and saw him, gave him a nod, this guy disappeared quick. Now they were both African American. After a time of so frequently being harassed by blacks a TI will eventually start to naturally become racist especially if there were underlying wounds from their past.
But I noted that the N word was no longer in my grasp when the young clerk showed the class the help me out and we both just laughed at the guy inside the store.

I actually felt free of harassment and no longer under the gang stalking 'spell' if you will- becuz he did NOT know what was going on thats why. He thought it was weird though thats for sure.

My attitude improved and I didnt feel so introverted. The gang stalking IS trauma based mind control so makes one turn inward. You think the whole world is a shitty place until someone takes you out of it and you realize that the world of organized keep down is a shitty place not the whole world. Like I said those that DO know surround you daily and those that dont know wouldnt believe you. There is something one dimensional about the gang stalking perps and if compared to normal sane people you note that sane people..normal human beings who dont seem to know whats going on- normal people living in the normal world- they are little worlds unto themselves. The perps feel or register very much like they only exist as part of a larger group which consists of the gang stalking groups. They dont contain multi dimensions or worlds of their own. Nor do they even register as living in the real world...becuz they dont.

YOu may think that people imagine gang stalking but it is connnected to mind control and its purpose is to manage a person so they can never really be confident enough to tell what happened or what goes on in these realms. What this system does and the people involved do is very illegal and so it must be done very covertly. It was easy for them to isolate me as I had little support from people close to me or my family- when a perp tells you your own mother is "sick" you can pretty much tell that you were an easy target to isolate. And if its intergenreational then they probably had some control over your life and your family's before it went 24/7 and overt anyway. I recall strangers referring to me as "Cinderella" in like 97 or so in directed conversation and it was referring to my family having me do all the housechores but [pay the same rent as my mother for a smaller room as well. When people are new in recovery its easy to take advantage of them as they want to make good, are operting on a totally fresh level of conshusness and their claws and fangs are temporarily lost so they cant defend themselves very well.

I was told more than once to get away from my family by people in NA and they were right but the other circumstances kept me confused most likely and unable to be more independant. I believe that i was smart enough to subconshusly realize that for some 'odd reason' I get harassed or it usually doenst go well in half way houses or shelter programs for me- and I was right and NOW I understand why. Besides my mother needed to be shown that she could NOT treat me the way that she had for years.

After I left CS Camb this black girl did a tactic on me even though it was raining, I had earphones on and pretended to not see her- its ridiculous the daily crap that goes on to a TI.

DOnt just get around normal people, point out to them that something isnt right and let some sun break through those clouds. Exist out of thier reach.

The use of psychics and destruction of the survivor in 'gang stalking' campaigns

Here is latest from other post if interested:

What this system does is wipe someone clean so that they dont recall what happened and its done so that the survivor is not a threat to anyone they may be angry at. You have no idea of the level of interference in a survivor's life. And they really feel they are helping you- just as sick as pedophiles really. Totally not in reality.

I was on this train once in Washington DC- the place is crawling with pscyhics who obviously keep the place safe. I know its hard to believe but its true and its one of the only places that there is such a heavy population of that kind of force- at least that overtly. I could see that many of them were 'feeling' how much pain I was in and years of emotional pain stored in my compartmentalized mind and emotional centers. Its none of thier damn business anyway and draining that energy or destroying the person to make them realease it is NOT the proper way to go about things.

Thier main concern seems only to so alter and modify a survivor that they may never have any access to their own psychic powers again probably the survivor is seen as a threat somehow. It was the worst part of this, those bastards that sit next to you and they think they are so clever- you dont believe me but it WAS a part of my gang stalking experience and during Bush it was horrible. They think they can sit down next to you and make you feel 'happy' or alter your mood all of a sudden and you wont notice. The smirk is enough of an indication bastard, as well as I only felt such an UNATURAL change when YOU sat down. Also, dont thing there isnt a two way connection made. I can feel them just as they think they are being oh-so influential witout anyone knowing it.

If you dont believe me then look up just what MK Ultra was connected to and how many surviving mind control slaves claim to have had Theta programming. Also see how much money was documented as to be put towards psychic research in the military. Also, note how they never officially DENY that a psychic army exists.

This is also why psychiatry wants to label psychic content. Note how it doesnt dare go after religion-cuz they would bury the bastards thats why. Religion has worked very hard to serve as control over the masses. Psychiatry might just be an added control or a new form of control for an population increasingly to educated or jaded for religion to any longer serve this function.

It is in direct conflict with documented existence of either psychic research or phenomena for psychiatry to have this as one of its delusions or disorders. So why is it validated? Tolerated? Becuz they are the new inquisition and they have instilled fear into the hearts of the public. Just as the church did years ago they seem to serve alongside the official powers of this nation and go unquestioned.
If you do your research you will also find that they are also guilty of tortures beyond comprehension, as well as NO ONE IN THE USA HAS EVER BEEN BROUGHT UP ON CHARGES FOR UNETHICAL OR ILLEGAL HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION.
Despite all the documented cases and the Geneva Convention. So the USA is one of the worst for this despite all thier claims of human rights and respect for human life.

In the situation of a TI you have to remember that those who know you cannot trust and those you could trust wouldnt believe it and definately dont know what is going on. That is where isolation of the target exists in the gang stalking system and that is what keeps them prisoner.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Driving a TI crazy to turn perp or discredit one's self/ recent Wordpress post
Also I have noted something else: the results of a long gang stalking campaign- often referred to as 'gang stalking syndrome' often end up getting the victim dicredited. Many targets can attest to much of what is done as being antogonistic, to get a reaction out of the target.

I did not fully understand this until now. There are a few cases of Aquino and others sueing or making claims about people stalking them or focusing on them in ways that they wish to block such as info being revealed or research being printed that would be inconvenient for them and thier careers.

One such example is a woman who ended up stalking certain individuals as well as implicating Aquino. Much of this behavior could be due to very hardcore psychological warfare campaigns on the person who does not realize that being targeted, these actions are actually what the system wants them to do so it actually makes them look bad as opposed to the perpetrators.

Much of what is done in an extremely heavy handed gang stalking campiagn could push a human being to actions that they would normally not have taken had they not been the target of one of these campaigns. Gang stalking, and the politics and subject matter connected to it are extremely volatile. Gang stalking is often used to discredit someone and eventually silence them even before they understand what is happening.
Also the dynamics involved in gang stalking are so complicated and deception is utilized as an artform, that they very people being targeted BY the targeted individual who was driven to target them, may themselves be TARGETED, even perhaps by the same system or parties who are targeting the TI who turns perp but just believes they are defending themselves against 'the perps'.

Lets take the example of an internet stalker who used to be a therapist that was connected to ritual abuse etc. Yes, it looks as if its a clear cut case of her being targeted due to being able to rival or expose perpatrators of such crim rings. I always consider that a person like Aquino is a convenient target, due to his appearance as well as his outspoken stance on Satanism. He may even be guilty of involvement in the things he is accused of. But one has to imagine that he is not the only one involved and from the looks of that Boystown incident and testimony from certain survivors it sounds like there are much more powerful people involved in such things internationally.
What if creating a three ring circus through gang stalking people could create such flame wars and such a mess that it creates a maze that keeps shifting so that one can never get through it to the truth.;read=4435
I believe the way it works is that a TI like this woman is so hard hit that her sanity begins to go or her better judgement. There are many attempts to get TI's to start stalking people, to drive them to actions that will discredit them. But lets say that the people you manipulate them to go after in percieved self defense were also targeted by this system or they are to serve as a diversion.

Aquino is a great scapegoat as opposed to anyone higher up in the military or any implication of suits. Perhaps even after Aquino's involvement in many psy warfare activities or how much he knows in his position as a military man, he may know too much or have differences with the military after a time, thus making him a risk- what better way to be rid of him or at least destroy his life or cred?
I am not saying he isnt guilty of the accusations but its easier to cut off the limb and burn the wound to seal it than to let the infection spread to the rest of the body.
It may be that the circus of gang stalking serves to severely limit just what we fully may realize then expose about corruption in powerful places.

Targeting an enemy of a person in on the corruption to attack that person leaves the focus on that person. It would definately be a part of deception as well as diversion and getting rid of multiple targeted indivuals by having them turn on each other.

What if Aquino himself is programmed, and we all know that any of us who are programmed get harassment as par the course of insisting on continued existence on this planet.
I have seen indication and read things that make it obvious to me that persons a TI is made to believe are involved in targeting them are actually also targeted themselves.

Take my family for example. Note how I acknowledge my own mother as having suffered greatly and I suspect RA or programming I have not spoken to her on these subjects but I know that she comes from the text book normal pedo-military family that seems the norm in these circumstances, also she is a documented radiation experimentee. I notice that there was alot of trying to get me to turn on her even attack her or murder her. I hate her yes, I believe she should have been more strong Willed agaisnt this system, but I know she was much more traumatized than I and she is much more controlled and handled.
My uncle (by marriage) once stated to his son on the way down the family home's walkway "The two bitches are fighting" concerning yet another disagreement between us years ago. This always stayed with me as he is manipulative. It strikes me that this system wishes to keep us fighting then we can both be 'the bitches' and maybe if we are lucky, we'll kill each other. Wouldnt they love that- getting rid of two now obsolete mc slaves both of whom have the Will to be very uncooperative- (thus 'bitches'). Which is the number one reason I dont mess with my mother or antagonize her. FIrstly its what they want and secondly even though my mother is in on this, knowing at some level that I may retaliate, I will not give the system what it wants which is to get rid of one or both of us.

Its so damn obvious.
I myself have seen various tactics over the years that are meant to implicate people I know well and people I dont know at all in me being targeted so hard. I always knew they were ploys to get me locked up or discredited.
No, I dont like the fact that my ex gets all these perks and awards for helping to ruin my life. I was told he helped someone which is why a certain band member and other Boston scene people gave him gigs, where his name would be prominently featured. I am pissed at that yes. Am I going to go after an entire musical group just becuz they assisted my ex? Its a great ploy to get someone to look reallllyyyy crazy however. Not only am I worldly enough to know that no act sticks around that long without either having dirt on people or assisting the system in any way it can to buy its survival in the long term, I also know that many of those people have enemies or that any artist may be themselves programmed or targeted by this system.
Was John Lennon programmed? One has to wonder with all that band was involved in and how brilliant he was..then one has to wonder how programmed his killer was, probably an expendable. So the expendable gets rid of a strong and prominent programmed asset who is becoming a problem or for some other reason its just 'time to go'.

Its a common game really. It could even be done if an act or talent needs some boost, sympathy or publicity. THIS IS WHY ITS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU DONT TAKE ACTION AGAINST ANYONE UNLESS ITS LITERALLY IN SELF DEFENSE IN THE MOMENT like something you can prove in a court of law that people will believe.

Its the longer, more drawn out version of turning someone into 'the lone shooter' and it may even work alot better on females if you torture and manipulate them the right way. The 'lone shooter' death by cop or suicide/murder usually works with male targeted individuals not females.

This is also why its important to get a target to confess the craziest things that occur during being targeted. That in itself will make you look nuts and dangerous. In the context of being a survivor of high level programming and realizing that MK Ultra methods are used to deprogram and wear you down its interesting to see that the very act of confession not only serves the behavior modification program you are obviously in as part of deprogramming, but it also serves the system by the CONTENT of what you say or reveal getting you further discredited and labeled a potentially dangerous nutcase.


A better more clear example is that piece I wrote on how we as middle class persons displaced in a world gone to globalization have dropped out of society many of us and are turning rebel against society. The CIA has a write up predicting this action as part of the results of globalization.
But it occured to me the other day that this is the same agency that has a dirty tricks dept according to so many of its alleged victms, that interferes in worldy events and affairs with covert influence.

So...that means that the agency is predicting things that it may well likely have put forth heavy handed, long term and wide range covert operations to make come about in our world. I believe that is very possible due to the mode of operation I have experienced personally where rumours or falsehoods were told and much effort was put forth to push me into such circumstances or take such actions.

Which makes no sense as all one has to do is watch thier foreshadowing and be aware and thus avoid such actions...but then if its part of a behavior modification program then this means the system is forcing one into non action by manipultion.

The main component to any gs campaign is control over the Targeted person. And via the TI being smart about NOT getting caught in traps and a web, one actually loses much of one's life, energy, talent, intelligence and personality. Its unfortunate but its the only way to avoid being locked up or labeled. But then again its ultimately a very distructive modification program that keeps the person from being all they could or expressing themselves freely in the world or achieving thier goals or success.

To think that one's only great successes in life are to avoid being labeled or locked up within circumstances that society is trained to not believe anyway is very very sad. All that intelligence, warrior spirit, life energy, beauty and physical energy- wasted. On years of making one's way through a never ending maze.

So ultimately the system gets what it wants. YOU the target are trained to be obedient and fearful of life, of people and of your own power.
And you waste all your life just trying to survive. A lifetimes worth of creativity, energy, talent and health are gone....and no one will ever know what a grand battle you fought becuz society is told that its only been fought in your own mind, as this system does not exist.
The TI is turned into a non entity.

And it does seem that everything this system does is multi purpose as it unfolds. Being a survivor of programming who gets isolated (abducted) into a behavior modification program could include also percieving that one has been sacrificed or suffers from the symptoms of having been tortured and in essence murdered by the gang stalking networks. Especially in the beginning it feels much more like a sacrifice then there is a modification program that becomes obvious, as if this is to form the victim into a silenced victim witness, so no one will ever know or believe the horrors of trauma based mind control, RA or the enslavement of human beings via mind control programs.

This system wastes nothing and is highly efficient. Many of the things that occur serves multi purposes and often on does not see this entirely until later on.

Its a great way to get rid of alot of loose ends- driving people nuts so they turn into perps. Either to get rid of multiple parties or to take the focus off the perpatrators to make the victims look like the dangerous ones.

Before you take action or believe ANYTHING you are shown or told, by ANY means of communication including intimation, you need to always remember:


Think logically and realize its a chess board and it will always be attempted you be used in the game. Be cautious of how you are utlilized.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Subliminated statements in daily conversation by people we trust or hit and run shots by perps who are strangers

One of the most annoying things that people in on this have said to me:
"What you're doing isnt working" or you are going to have to try something else or some other way is the general statement. And it always:
-from men
-in my hometown area
-from men who seem to lean into me while saying it and when they do one gets the impression that there is some sexual connection to the statement or they really get off on me being held down as to force me into another direction of action (or so the system thinks it will do so).

I can tell these idiots have either seen a video or something made by whoever betrayed me years ago, and/or they know something about my past.

It's extremely manipulative that is for sure, with definate overtones to being in control of the person's situation or being privvy to that information.

There is a sick thrill to thier knowing about what is happening to me as a female TI.

I recall Lou Gheppetti telling me basically that my situation fullfills a cultural fantasy- of course he didnt say that but that is basically what he said- something about it being a thrill- a woman being trapped and "especially when there is nothing she can do about it" is what he said after referring to me being kept down in my situation.

Like most other people who are adept at quick subliminated statements, one must sneak them in very quickly and sharply in between regular conversation.

Monty Python did along these lines- you may recall, the one where Palin goes into a shop and the service person alternately insults him then is polite with normal statements as if he didnt say anything wrong- like the ultimate split personality. The customer then points this out to him, then he apologizes and the customer accepts his apology, ending with an insult.

My old associate Julia used to do this constantly and I never realized it was a hit and run, rape like means of mind control over a person. This kind of constant abuse is akin to what gang stalking is but its from someone who you trust usually- no one would listen to it from a stranger for very long. Its done to people like myself, who are trauma based mind controlled or conditioned to be used to such treatment. The only reason that J pisses me off less than any other of my ex family or friends is that for years I dished it out just as much as I recieved it, and she is the only person I ever knew who could put aside a drop down drag out fight in the interest of the discipline of conducting business..most people let thier personal feelings get in the way of thier progress. She was truly made of iron. That and being a sociopath, but hell until we wake up out of programming- arent we all? Its a coping skill I think for many people, not to deal with thier underlying issues-and it seems that psychiatry as well as psychology is very keen on keeping what may be truly 'wrong' with people tightly under wraps. Sociopath may just be a great cover diagnoses for the compartmentalization process of many a programmed person.
If there is no true self, and they only imitate what they see to survive socially in the human population- then what, exactly is underneath? Psychology would have you believe there is just this empty blackness- a void. But one must go further and ask, then what is under that? THEN you get to what the real issue is.

Now that I think of it, diagnosing every programmed person as a sociopath without looking further is mind control in itself or perception management.

I dont mind people who are just as afraid of me as I am of them...what I hated is people like Jake and my mother who had this attitude that ultimately they were smarter than me.
The biggest monsters I ever encountered were Julie and that programmer on Greyhound who claimed he was Eddie Cox from Louisianna- however these two people are also persons who seemed to fear and respect what I was capable of..which means they aren't careless. Jake, my mother and people like them should be shot for thier stupidity- what I cant stand most is a predator of low quality.

I may have sought to find my mother's affections one day but I never relied on her the way she did her mother. So it really pisses me off that in places like NA meetings in Newton, like the one where PI John Panderos and his dog faced girlfriend walked out just becuz I walked in- some ginny looking idiot would sit there and actually do directed conversation concerning how I "always wanted to be the baby". I am under fire here and going through alot of shit, its normal for me to at some point try to sneak under a mother hen to hide as if I were her own. Gang stalking campaigns are NOT normal and for someone who just fought through three layers of suicide programming with no help, who's therapists and doctors are not helping but turning on her--its pretty traumatic.

Its interesting how this system coddles my mother and seems to keep beating her down so she stays under her mother's control but with me they seemed to have taken me away from my mother and my bio families as much as possible.
Breaking up families and friendships and love affairs is what these f*ckers do. Each mind controlled slave must be isolated and under the control of the system that manages them and handlers not thier own Will or a teaming up of two independent minds. Time after time thier actions lead me to believe that they fear controlled people joining forces. The most extreme example of this is preventing two certain people from having offspring- yet all things indicate that many of us are born out of the opposite actions: its most probable that many of us are born out of selective breeding pairings.
And it would make sense with this system where thier control freak actions usually spell out what they are capable of in opposite directions- like preventing pairings or encouraging or covertly arranging them. This would make sense for mind control slavery as they could mix and match the most desirable qualities but prevent offspring from becoming too strong, too healthy thus uncontrollable.

And you have no idea what I mean by uncontrollable. There are things that humans are capable of that the system of social control does NOT want you to know about: AS A HUMAN BEING IN YOUR PRIMITIVE OR TRUE STATE YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE AND POSSESS POWER THAT MAKES NORMAL LIFE LOOK SIMPLE- which it is when you discover the truth.

The people they enslave with programming are powerful and this is why they choose certain bloodlines- and sadly its why they insist on 'ripping out the wiring' once you want to take your internal systems under your own Will. They dont want any competition obviously as far as power goes.

This is why mc slaves are constantly harassed, traumatized and ultimately suicided. Its gang stalking as slave management and its why they let loose on the target when its 'time to go' or to activate suicide programming sequences.

The same goes for those constant little digs that people around us sneak into daily conversation with us. Its NOT harmless, its a form of systematic control over a person. Its what occurs when you trust people and you simply dont know any better- how are you supposed to? You havent been exposed to anything different.

Which speaks volumes about how large this system is to begin with- if you look back at your whole life you will recall all the instances of your miserable existance and realize that this abuse was constant, daily and from multiple persons who blended into the woodwordk- just like the larger or more overt actions taken by what we have coined the 'gang stalkers' or gang stalking perps. Organized stalking and harassment but its so much more than that- its done by people who know you- who are privvy to information about you they should not have. That is what makes it so damaging and gains them the status of being all knowing. The extent to which they are all knowing is pretty creepy- but they do NOT know everything nor do they have access to all information you hold.

One wonders also how much the people who handle us really know about us and our status. And it brings into question thier status as well as mind controlled.

Consider this the next time some f*cker is messing with you contantly, playing handler. They may just be more under control and pathetic than you are...when you try to break free you'll pretty much see how truly weak or strong the people around you turn out to be in reality.

Private contracting out of govt tasks

This makes me wonder about organized stalking and harassment. I keep recalling the statement made by a young perp on a bus out of Memphis, TN when his young girlfri end showed signs of sympathy or guilt towards the groups actions towards me: "She's JUST a target".

That is one of those moments that sticks in my mind always. And the fact that alot of people got me hip to the fact that they do indeed get paid for thier actions.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Rod Blagojevich former gov of ILL: not only was he unpopular but he messed with Bank of America
"Impeachment trial and removal from office
Blagojevich on the day of his arrestBlagojevich was arrested at his home by federal agents and charged with corruption. The Illinois House and Senate moved quickly thereafter to impeach the governor for abuse of power and corruption. He was removed from office and prohibited from ever holding public office in the state of Illinois again, by two separate and unanimous votes of 59-0 by the Illinois State Senate on January 29, 2009. Blagojevich's lieutenant governor Patrick Quinn subsequently became governor of Illinois. The Senate was acting as the trier of fact on Articles of Impeachment brought by the Illinois House of Representatives. The charges brought by the House emphasized Blagojevich's alleged abuses of power and his alleged attempts to sell gubernatorial appointments and legislative authorizations and/or vetos to the highest bidder. Included with these accusations was the alleged attempt to sell the appointment to the United States Senate seat vacated by the resignation of now U.S. President Barack Obama.
Blagojevich was indicted by a federal grand jury in April 2009.
Blagojevich's impeachment, trial, conviction and removal from office does not have any effect or bearing on his federal indictment in the United States District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, as impeachment and conviction is a political, not a criminal, action."

Former Gov of Ill who was impeached for abuse of power etc. This kind of corruption has been going on for a long time. One has to wonder if its not what he did but who he messed with before he got in trouble for it.
"Dec. 9 (Bloomberg) -- Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s threat to halt the state’s dealings with Bank of America Corp. over a shut-down factory in Chicago extends a “dangerous” trend of politicians meddling with commerce, a former general counsel of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. said.
Blagojevich, a Democrat, yesterday said the biggest U.S. retail bank won’t get any more state business unless it restores credit to Republic Windows & Doors, whose workers are staging a sit-in. John Douglas, an attorney with Paul Hastings Janofsky & Walker in Atlanta, said Blagojevich and Senator Christopher Dodd -- who called on General Motors Corp. to fire Chief Executive Rick Wagoner -- can’t tell companies how to run their business.
“This is a very dangerous thing,” said Douglas, who was at the FDIC from 1987 to 1989 and has since represented financial institutions including Bank of America. “There becomes an expectation that these government officials have some say over what the institution does,” he said in an interview"

"Bank of America
Blagojevich threatened to stop the state’s dealings with Bank of America Corp. over a shut-down factory in Chicago. On December 8, 2008 (the day before his arrest), all state agencies were ordered to stop conducting business with Bank of America to pressure the company to make the loans. Blagojevich said the biggest U.S. retail bank would not get any more state business unless it restored credit to Republic Windows and Doors, whose workers were staging a sit-in. John Douglas, a former general counsel for the FDIC and attorney for Bank of America, called Blagojevich's gambit dangerous."

Back in 2006:

Chicago ILL was one of the worst places I got harassed during Bush but I cant say that it has to do with who was in office in this particular state. There are alot of organized crime links in Chicago.

But I DO know that Bank of America in AZ, especially Tempe, messed with me, some of the most overt and obnoxious gang stalking I ever recieved. That I do know. And this might be why.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

How the experimentee's treatment relates to what is going on now with gs

What explains this is a new form of society we live in. It really is the creation of the system I was shown early on. A creation of a Hell on earth where torture and pain are used as social control in a society where there is no privacy. Its as if the entire planet has died and gone to hell or the Gates have finally been opened. And on one seems to mind or care. Either that or we are experiencing a dispensing with of justice in the internest of sport but its done overtly and again no one cares.
When authority agrees with the blood thirst of the mob then there is no such thing as justice or a democratic society anymore. All is lost. But like I said no one seems to mind.

Everyone knows that what is bieng done to me is being done for sport and profit. There was no need to torture me into confessing my life story or any info about anyone. A subpeaona would have been just fine: but that would have involved the legit justice system and what they wanted me for was sport and to destroy a target- not justice. MK Ultra is useless unless its being used on truly dangerous persons to society or for real reasons of national security. NOt to take a victim of exploitation mostly sexual and cover your asses by turning the person out as a piece of sport for the mob-which is exactly what they did to me. and the precedent set in the way that other survivors have been treated- just look at the video of the humnan experimentees in the Pres Advisory Committee videos- has set the stage for what is going on NOW to be socially acceptable on every level.

Saturday, August 14, 2010


I will post this one more time and listen real good:











A Piece I Wrote Earlier Today...a note on how bad I am doing now.

Here is a piece I wrote earlier. Its in wordpad and I dont know enough about it to understand how to make the breaks and paragraphs transfer to blogger while copying it so yer gonna haveta deal with an ongoing paragraph.

After this I am pretty sure I am done writing. I want to discontinue writing. I dont think a book is possible. The torture I recieved in Jamaica Plain tonight near the MSPCA (where I wrote this piece) was just too much. Along with my health conditions as well as something here in Cambridge that has permeated the area, a nasal thing that makes one's eyeballs feel as if they are being tortured from the inside (of course when one leaves the area for most of the day one feels better. I came back and I feel it again. I did not want to get sick due to not bieng able to take medicine due to just about everything puttingme into mild begining stages of anaphylaxis. I just cant do this anymore and if I cant be consistent with a plan for suicide maybe its worth it just to ghet sick and have the docrotrs not belifve me, they wont believe me i know they wont then they'll give me antibiotocs then i will have an attack and i just dont care anyore. I cant get to a doctor. I am unable to get medical care- i just cant get myself to go anymore. Its gone too far. I was so terrorized by medical staff especially here that I am conditioned by fear to not even try to get medical care anymore.

Its over. I tried as hard as I could as long as I could and I just cannot get back what was supposed to be mine. But nor will I allow them to destroy me just to break me down. I promise anhyone who is listening that I will not have a break mental or otherwise just to end up in some program or facility where htey can get a hold of me and re make me so I dont even believe what aI know happened to me and I wont let them remake me into a good citizen in society, a normal person who is average. I want to ensure that I die first. I know my mother is behind this to prove she's better and stronger than me and I know that everyone wants me under conrol and silenced as they have been used to having me under control all my life so they couldnt bare to lose control of me so they had to destroy me instead. I guess I could write some sloppy confession of who did what instead of a book but see they want that too and I wont give it too them.

What my mother and everyone else wants is for me to be broken down- to break what they call 'spirit'. Its ridiculous really to insist on doing something like that but she has been trying to do that all my life and it doesnt surprise me that she would get help to try to get that done at some point in my life- to finally get what she wants.

She has lots of help now and many people in this system hide the behavior modification, the satanic ritual abuse as well as the human experimentation and its connection through my mother being a radiation experimentee- to MK Ultra. They want me to be like danny my father so that hides whats been done. I dont quite understand how she went from someone that was intimidated out of going to the Presidents Advisory Committee to someone who seems to be in on this....I just dont understand that part of it. One day she seemed like the victim and then within 10 years she seemed have joined the very people who intimidated her. Bragging about having a military credit card as well as saying things to me like "I am very interested in the way your mind works" when most of what has been done to me is psych testing and seeing how I react to things never stops. Ever and I cant take it anymore.

I dont think I will make a very good crazy person becuz as of losing it tonight the cops and a store manager were right on my ass trying to catch me doing something and trying to get me to react. I just gave them the finger behind thier backs. I will not tolerate this system driving me insane and then when I snap and look like I am totally out of it I get fucked with MORE due to them percieving that as time to move in on me.

FUck the system and fuck all these people who support my enemies like all the people who sold me out. I will go someplace where I can lose my mind in peace and as soon as possible try to suicide.
I was thinking of cutting up my face to make people stop trying to normalize me and forget about the torture and abuse of the last years- maybe if I look f*cked up then they wont demand that happy ending from me anymore. If I dont look socially acceptable.
See they want me silenced. So they keep controlling my life until I either snap and they get me into a jail or an institution where they REALLY alter you in ways that you cannot come out of. I would be a totally modified person then and not probably recall what really happened and thats if I didnt die in one of those places- they all hate me THAT much believe me. The police hate my guts for beating this system and doing the right things by standing up for whats right and making thier fascist, spoiled rotten , corrupt union asses look like the pieces of shit they all really are especially htose bastards during Romney and Bush. They ruined my life, whoever was in charge or on the take in D-14, Brookline and Cambridge and I will die with curses for them, thier children and all ALL of thier descedents. What do they care? The police run the USA alongh with the rest of the corrupt system. They are out of control due to Bush, Homeland and all that convention money pumped into them during Romney/Guliani. They are monsters. Absolute monsters and they probably will think that is way cool to be described that way. They love that shit. Becuz they are sick fucks and I hate them all. I cant wait to die and go somewhere whre there are no cops. Safe from corrupt authority and thier fucked up criminal friends and the rich white men who run our world into the ground. Oh and fuck the military as well. You can all go fuck yoursleves I am outta here.

By the way I am NOT giving you any fucking confessions either. Becuz that is what you want or you wouldnt be torturing me to death or into a stupor. Drop dead. You cocksuckers all of you, you want me to confess to prove your sick MK Ultra system works even it if KILLS me which you are hoping it does. Or you are hoping I confess to prove your system works and then I will be all squeaky clean inside like a good little woman should be in your new world order, which I have noted is very much a man's world and creation. It makes the 50's look like a bra burning at a sit in. Ike didnt warn us it would be a f*ckin sausage party when the military industrial took over our fucking lives. But what else could it be?
Thats all they understand. Becuz its all they are.

I will not confess information you already know just so you can prove your system works if you torture someone long enough and then act as if you did them some sort of favor like cleansing thier soul.

The day a bunch of males gain control over MY soul or control the state of it is ineed the day I should take my own life, by my own bloodied hand, with my mouth firmly sealed shut.
Go fuck yourselves.

No bunch of men who, really behind closed doors I have found are mostly faggots anyway when it comes down to it, and that is how they run the world, ARE GOING TO TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE, MY DEATH, THE STATE OF MY SOUL OR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

Men in general can go straight to hell and screw themselves and then drop dead. Cops, CIA, DOD, all the military, politicians, govt, criminals, black, white, any creed, religion or color. All you fuckers are pink under the suits and I can tell you that for sure. Your all the fuckin same and to demand I lose my life experience to get me under control is another pathetic move on the part of this very fascist, sexist overbearing authority we have in place here.

In fact just watch the Boys Town thing again. Watch it very carefully and listen to the boys testimony. That is the way our leaders conduct their private lives and I believe them. Scum. ANd that is all connected to MK Ultra, programming, money laundering, sex rings both child and adult.

You cant stop this. There are too many sick f*cks that need ritual abuse victims for life and also need sex slaves they can just destroy and silence whenever they feel life it.

And no mother fuckers are going to turn me into some kind of Christian fuck just becuz they figure its a nice neat happy fucking ending again with that bullshit, and it makes the system look good as well as makes thier consciences feel better. No one is going to torture me into some religious choice which I would not have chosen Willfully. You can all go drop dead.

I want justice and I wnat it NOW. I want you to pay me for all the damatges. I want the Pettitis dead in a car wreck. I want my mother's house on fire with her and her evil manipultive mother inside. I want Julie's business to fold and I want Sheldon to take all her money and then die in a fuckin drunk car wreck.
And her little Boston University professor bitch friend who did those PR books for her, I wish she would choke on every single lie in those books that made that cunt Julie look so wonderful as well as made either of them money off of the backs of real working girls- as usual the elite again have to have slaves. Jeanette doesnt deserve tenure- she needs to have those pearls she tries to pull that Chanel look with wrapped around her throat a few times, another bitch who needs to get her karma but the system would rather destroy ME instead.

And for all the nice people I have heard from from Harvard U, I am sorrry but I dont trust that place still. To this day the worst harassment I recieve is from Harvard U cops who can also drop dead. Like tonight the tatooed freakazoid who they have guarding the Au Bon Paun or whatever it is. They are like little boys trying to get attention from mama or some girl by antagonizing me tonight. Then the cop who looks like Mr Roughtrade comes in and says they close at 2 but I gotta be outta there before 2 and stands there, much the way you can tell he has a thousand times with his back turned, probably while boys get raped in prison or some other fucking horror. That one was just short of going off. This old black dude was like goofing on him with me saying he was harassing me and wanted me to go off. I told the nice old dude that I knew that and Mr Tattoo was just shy of being a too tightly wound spring that had to go off soon and I was NOT going to be the one to light that fuse. Its the fucking foreigners that own all these businesses around here. They have this problem with poor whites like they are back in north Africa or India. Listen Chute, go back there and starve. Stupid, extremely stupid. But very smart on the part of the white elitist assholes that run this motherfucker. More house slaves to handle thier 'problem' whites or poor. They are so just the same New Englanders that sold rum and bibles for slaves and somehow that was better than what they did down south. I now understand that Yankees suck the hardest our of anywhere else in the USA and my lifestory is living proof of thier continued slavery of human beings. They just think that if they pull it off sneaky like good Yankees that its all good.

Yankees all believe that they are definately smarter than you. And those of us Yankees that are poorer than they- and from 'bad' families that deseve to be treated this way (which means our grandparents didnt have the money to pay anyone off or keep shit quiet is all that means. Or like, my dad didnt work for the Newton teachers union while allowing me to deal drugs out of my house- which is a good family its just how yer percieved by the neighbors and how much money you have or your position. THAT is what makes a 'good' family. Which is all bullshit but New Enland likes bullshit. Without it, being intelligent people they would have to actuallly apply all that liberalism and morality to themselves and the way they conduct business instead of dishing it out to the rest of the country while sneakily running corrupt systems themselves. And then having Marky Mark and those 2 other Hollywood used to be's from here join him in a string of shitty movies about Boston and NY. Wahlberg has a third nipple- barf bags anyone? Or is that supposed to impress us in some Satanic way? Wahlberg as well as those other two can all go fuck goat heads as far as I am concerned. Gone Baby Gone sucked ass with that pedo creep old black actor who is now with that all grown up 13 year old he was boning for years. All self righteous jerks and ANYTHING from Hollywood is totally untrustworthy. Their attempts nowadays to be sneaky are as stupid as thier audience has become over the years. In your attempt to dumb down the nation, you obviously accidentally got affected as well.)

Anyway, I cant leave this area I have tried and why bother? If I cant make it right here and get justice for myself then what is the point of running off to other places? Every place I go I just keep thinking about the injustice HERE. And I keep thinking I should get a lawyer but like the medical thing I just cant. I have been conditioned to not go.

And the torture was so bad tonight. It was the worst yet. I looked retarded by late tonight. Magically though, all of a sudden the effect stopped. Just like that I felt better.

I have been stuck trying to figure out some horrid computer problem all day long and I was like a vegatable I was so targeted. It was like it turned me into this imbecile. I almost started beating myself again but I have mastered the ability not to do that..and that only happens here in Boston.
If its confession
they want then if they get it I will make you a promise. I will either pick someplace where they deserve someone to go postal once they pull confession out of me like Pine st inn, where those dirty bitches all practice the worst abuse of targets I ahve ever seen and the most overt racism and get away with it. OR I will chose one person to go out suicide with..a surprise guest if you will. It wont be anyone personal to me bexuz when it comes to Jake, Julie or my bitch mother I can ever fugure who I hate more for totally turning thier backs on me and betraying me. I would be pissed if I just took out one of them and not the other two. Besides, Jake and my mother I would love to ring thier necks for what they did- they are the bigest cowards, both living with thier mothers while I always did anything I had to to be independant. I hate them both more for thier weakness than thier actions. Julie...shes a bit of a different story. Probably the most dangerous of the three as she is the most valuable to the system with the most sensitive information on important people, however she DID try to warn me a few times as well as of all those 3 I can see her making a necessary business decision that includes 'silencing' someone. My mother did it out of power tripping and Jake did it for the same reason as well as both thought I was weak and stupid. Julie always knew I wasnt stupid so at least I can hand her that much. Though if she was a friend she could have really warned me outright, but I always knew that we were both wolves and one day it would come down to this, her teeth being much more deadly than mine. My mother and Jake are two losers who lived with thier parents who could afford to be mean to me becuz they had the back up of thier families and thier homes they grew up in. THAT is an unfair advantage and I want them to pay for that dearly. Its unecessary cruelty and very unbusinesslike to go that fucking low on someone. It would have been more professional to just have me killed, which of course they didnt do becuz for them it was about ego, jealousy, powertripping and other shit that makes it PERSONAL not busineness.ALso Julie's mother is a shit no matter how much money she gives her. Her life has not been easy and even though she is evil she is at least working her ass off everyday and taking alot of risk, whereas those other two are petty assholes who's mommys allowed them the luxury of fucking someone over who was not in as advantageous position as they were in.

Business I can see wanting or needing to get rid of someone. But Jake and my own mother went too far for not enough good reason and really they did it becuz they were spoiled. ALso its interesting to wonder as to why thier mother's spoil them so. What dirt do they posess that could make women be so indebted? I know what my mother has on her parents but...I stopped trying to figure Brenda out a long time ago. She is just a typical Jewish mother in her DNA even though they converted to whatever southerners converted to years ago to try to stay on the downlow down south. Protestantism I am sure.

Its hysterical that much of the white supremesists that were involved actually thought I was Jewish and were harassing me with direct content of that but Jake looks like Mr Nordic Anglo guy, but he's the Jew. If I ever get in the presence of any of those idiots I am going to personally laugh in thier faces for that f*ck up. BRILLIANT you morons. And he ended up in Hollywood where he belongs I guess.
Good one guys. So St Loius MO is has the stupidest white supremist group alive I guess, or they are the dumbest racists alive...thinking I am a Jew. They really should all have thier balls crammed down thier own throats for that REAL supremists who hate idiots. I told this dude in CA a bit about it, a reformed nazi who still has all his tats. He didnt have nice things to say for the screw up and how it was handled.

Well I should post my piece but it wont do any good really. Tomorrow at 6 am the torture begins anew and as usual it gets worse here at night just like every other time I can recall coming back here, until it stops at midnight. Same program here in the same location just like last time. WHen I leave it will cease and the next location will have its own timing and style for me as a target.

Thats the thing. I cannot go on thinking about the next town, the next city and still being targeted just in a different way- with a different formula. All I can depend on is that I can predict from documentation what each location is like, but rarely can I use that information due to me just not being able to keep it together enough to use it as intell to prep for a trip TO that particular location. I can at least use it to gauge my own sanity or preserve it.

Why did I just get a mental image of my hands being black on the keyboards ( I am now outside, its dark out.) Dont think so mother fuckers. I am white and I am going to die that way too. I will leave the USA to die somewhere whiter than snow if I have to. I cant tell if the blacks want me to consider myself like them or if the whites just hate me so much they consider me as unimportant as a black..either way I cant pay attention to what either side thinks. Poor whites are being wiped out especially up here in this area. Its a crime to be poor and white- unless you hide in southy or join the ghetto ranks. Its considered racist to be poor and white but not want to be like or hang with ghetto blacks, and everyone is so intimidated by the threat of being called a racist that they lose all their pride and start doing really sick shit to themselves. Poor whites are trained up here to hate themselves, I mean in Cambridge and Boston. Its disgusting really.

I dont particularly care what any race, class or gender thinks of me. I have to be sure that no matter what I preserve what is ME the individual. That seems to be the one thing they dont want to survive.
I want Boston to pay dearly for what they are doing. Sometimes I get this impression from somewhere that they are going to pay for how they are conducting themselves right now, and other times I just see the city or its buildings in rubble like an earthquake or something is going to make this place not matter very much anymore soon enough so I shouldnt worry about what they are doing to me now. Something keeps telling me that and it comforts me, which may be its purpose- I hope its genuine and not just a tactic.
Here is the Piece I Wrote Earlier:
The more I am forced to confess under conditions like this, namely torture, instead of in the safety of a trusted therapist's office with a safe place to sleep at night, I find with everything I disclose that is personal that should not be disclosed, that any part of me that is good or has any love for humanity dies. With each piece of infomration I am raped out of, I hate humanity more and more. I wish to see it destroyed, and harbor an intense hatred for human beings.
I encounter more stupid smirks here. One of the dumb little b*tches from the Boston scene, Amy Mann, notoriously 'diffucult' and a one trick pony at that, wrote this totally obnoxious album called "@&*$# Smiler's. It was so overt to anyone being targeted due to all of us pretty much having in common claims and descriptions of the perps smirking as a twisted part of psychological warfare. Oh, my ex also did some video or something for this album, he's hte one who helped smear me, then got out of all charges for being caught with large amounts of drugs twice in one month, then went on to work for a member of Aerosmith.
The album's writing resembles a person privvy to a bunch of target's stories. Her last concept album shit the bed basically so its time for something with sure sucess I assume. She also wrote a song on the album about a woman who gets kicked out of her status position by a community, specifically I recall something about 'isnt it hard that the men no longer hold the door for you' or some sappy bs. All I can say is thank the gods for black metal and me being smart enough to sh*tcan anything coming out of the American media in those years.
Saw photo of her. Scrawney, blonde and with those squinty eyes that most truly successful show biz people have. Says 'bitch'--but a weak one. Which is the most dangerous kind of b*tch really. She needs to stab a person who is down to get that true feeling of success.
I dont need anyone singing or writing about me thank you very much. These were all hoped to be songs to accompany my death really. Its so...smug. Another blonde WASPy or Jewish asshole assisting Jake or Julie in celecrating my most certain death. I encourage you to hold yer breath honey, cuz I aint goin nowhere until the dirts been delivered and the laundry hung out to dry. Tell Hollywood to f*ck off and kiss my ass, and that includes all of Julie's disgustingly connnected 'friends' and associates who watched if not helped me to be destroyed to cover thier own asses or just for the fun of it. Its how they act towards women they feel are subjegated anyway, so whats a death by covert warfare?
Also no matter how much you morons twist a now sober and easily shaped Jacob into the disgusting Hollywood sleaze bag you have helped turn him into, I have memories of a man with a real soul- who he of course couldnt wait to get rid of . On his MySpace the only photo that even looks like the man I was in love with is on there, and he disses himself by the caption "The sensitive artist". He is dying to seal the deal of destroying that old self, the self that had any involvement with me, which is so terribly embarassing. What should be embarassing to him is how f*cked up his own personal problems were. But like a good...whatever like what he really is genetically he is going through an ancient ritual from the deserts of biblical times in which he is putting all his crap on a scape goat and when that creature dies, so will his old Self he wishes to no longer be haunted by.
I dont allow YOUR rituals to control me nor do I intend to let a bunch of spineless rich kids f*ck me over so they can try to bury the fact that their families are totally screwed up and that was the source of their own personal weirdness as well as being f*ck ups.
So a bunch of little rich jerks as well as the Boston police are going to try to drive me insane as well as destroy me to show the world how powerful they are. Its not hard to destroy someone that vulneralbe. What they were working with to gain thier power from me is how attractive and outspoken or opinionated I was, whatever they focused on to divert from Jake being a drug dealer and Julie a big time career criminal. And the public are so stupid that it actually worked.
It got so bad, so wrapped up in the corruption that was being pulled off during the war and the attitude that the cops could get away with anything due to 9-11 anti terror drama, it got so ridiculous that after everything the cops pulled here during that time, there was actually a tv show put on that was about the Boston Police and how great they were and how much better they were than other parts of the country. It went off the air soon after, probably becuz someone thought it was so much in bad taste considering what was REALLY going on and the innocent people who had been scapegoated or played fall guy for the cops and thier mob cronies (who all retired to Florida comfortably, with lottery scam money of course). People can only take so much bullshit before they start to vomit due to how disgusting it gets.
And this is the actions that people within gang stalking campaigns celebrate. This is what security guards, other cops, social service workers, college students, common people- THIS is what they think is cool and fun to experience. You have no idea how many assholes exist in the USA and especially Boston. No idea. I even had no idea until the powers that be here decided not only had I become inconvenient but I was deemed expendable a long time ago anyway.
And the laughs may be over, the curtain closed on that show but its victims are scarred for life to live in a daily living hell of torture and experiencing horrors over again day after day. What people dont understand is that what they saw was a campaign of torture most likely perpetrated by similar authority as any other program of torture in the US and sponsered by the US abroad at that time in history.
Now I see more hanging heads than smirks or people acting like its a fun ride to watch someone be destroyed..that somehow does not help me with the brain damage from mold exposure that could have been made more comfortable but was made much worse by the stress of gang stalking.
What is disturbing, is people who are in this area who seem to smile at me on contact as a form of handling me. Its just more assistance to the gang stalking system. You are still going along with what went on. It may be hard to believe but it seems that there are more inhumane, twisted, sick people out there in population but they dont show themselves or thier true nature to just anyone. They are so cowardly that you have to be victimized beyond belief (and beyond what laws are supposed to allow in the US) for them to think you are so powerless that you cant do shit about it anyway. And who is going to believe you? Many of the worst examples were people in the medical field. They think no one is going to touch them. They also might very well be aware of a TI's status of human experimentee. And we have seen the track record of the US with that subject, especially Boston. This place is so sick and they hide it so damn well with sports, the hospitals, the colleges and everything else. Thier asses are so covered here.
At this point I can safely say that Boston is one of the worst cities for the darkness that is over our world right now..or its very Satanic or whatever you want to refer to it as. Its totally saturated with that energy, that element and the forces that bring such darkness into being. Something went horribly wrong along the way somewhere. Boston was always a little f*cked up and rough but I have never seen it this evil. I mean I guess I didnt see the evil that was inherently within the system here..but there is something different about it since the war, since 2002 or so. Something very very VERy f*cked up that is not as I recall the vibe of this place being as such before. It was always a cold city, competitive, snooty and very serious about its money. Dead serious. But there is something else now present, something...limiting. Something that holds the city captive. I dont believe its only due to my worst experiences here or the harshest betrayals. There is a presence here and it accounts for many people not wanting to live under that or its effects, that have left Boston or the northeast alltogether. Perhaps the ritual sacrifice at ground Zero and Boston's part in that has something to do with it.
Building a mosque there....its all so ritualistic. Trying to balance the energy of such pure evil that now saturates this area of the country with more symbolism. Thats the whole purpose of thier archetecture. To contain and direct massive energies. Synmbolism does just that.
Its sad what has happened to the USA. Not just 9-11 but all the evil that seemed to accompany it. So many willing participants in all that went on and continues to. And the public doesnt even see who severe it is. Its pretty accurate to make a comparison to 'opening the gates'.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

More cameras, more insanity- oh and more promised 'order' in society

When authority cannot be completely trusted to be free of corruption then thier having eyes and ears within a world wide web of surveillance is not necessarily a good idea. Its akin to building a prison using technology, which is I think seems to most likely outcome. Add to that what many of us already know about 'people management' in public spaces and private utlizing tech.

A paranoid's wold view? Not after what I have experienced and seen.

The problem with all of this is that they claim its against crime, its for 'safe cities' and all that but they never admit to thier own corruption or screw ups. You are ASKING to be locked into something where you have no way to argue, protest, rebel or break your way out if authority goes completely against the public. Guns aint gonna mean sh*t at that point. We've already seen the govt and big corporate entities like the newspapers all becoming under large corporate powers, and the people put forth thier wishes and they were disregarded with an arrogance and smugness that is not acceptable. Many of these people believe they are worshipping at the alter of Reagan when they act in this way, of the ultimate Republican power trip.

I read something on Reagan the other day- that he refused to go to war or order violent actions with the ease that the Bush's seem to have doing so. Its true I recall Reagan being very different from Carter but he had a sense of self respect and that is what people liked. That statement "I am paying for this microphone" seemed to hit a note with the public..yes I recall that. But Reagan was different from what is going on now and to be honest he was more humane in some ways than the people who have come forth recently to express what it means to be Republican. I do not recall such blind hatred, such cold war between parties, races, classes or genders.

Humans with all thier access to information finally are getting the drift that environmentally we are probably f*cked as well as finally having to face the reality that humans do horrible things, always have and always will and even if your country is peaceful today, someplace else in the world is not. NOW people have to face that information every day.

However, building a world wide prison in the interest of 'peace' is a sorry bullshit excuse if I ever heard one. If there is a faction in existence that would abuse such authority then we must at least admit to its being a harsh reality before we allow the last piece of fence to be connected, creating something then, that there will be no escaping from.

Its not just surveillance. Its Big Pharma imprisoning people's minds and thier emotions, its too much govt interference in people's lives and its having the public work harder for less and less with less personal and free time. Its being coerced into hooking into a system of being 'plugged in' all the time so that no true free time is possible alone with oneself or true creativity away from a system of technology that may limit human creativity by replacing it.

The future looks great from the perspective of those who have not seen the worst of what is possible. The job of every TI is to try to disclose exactly how much power this system has and what its capable of, and that includes the worst horrors possible.

I pose this: if the system now does not acknowledge its corruption or does less than it can concerning slavery in various forms then what are we to expect from such a system when it has every human being in a huge prison-like environment that there is no escape from?

It means that 'peace' worldwide is going to mean the creation or extension of a fuedal like class system where the only chance at peace is going to be if you accept your place low down the totem pole even if you are capable of so much more.

The empty promise of technology is going to be that machines will replace all enslavement and exploitation of humans, but if you create AI that is that imitative or similar to human responses and behaviors then what about then causing pain or suffering to a machine?
Here we go again with the echo affect. Its what I realized as a child at a pond one day. A ripple is sent out into water and it just keeps going until it appears to dissipate.

So man keeps seeming to make the same mistakes over again. So you are going to create another slave race or spieces which you can afford to mistreat or treat differently. Its the exact same mistake over and over and over and over..people didnt used to think that African American's had feelings when they were slaves or maybe they just didnt care to wonder or know. Or Native Americans- those savages.

What amazes me is how the former light has turned to darkness so quickly. Once there was hope for earth or the peoples of our planet with a dream for world wide peace or at least something better than had been possible before through technology and communications but this has been twisted somehow into this cold and totally offenssive greedfest of overbearing authority and fascism and no one seems to note the difference. And its being marketed as the SAME world wide peace movement as the one that got stopped dead in its tracks.

Here is the difference: everyone looks fucking depressed now but no one is supposed to acknowledge it. What happened? America got a taste of what people like me have known or dealt with all thier lives: pure evil. Abuse. Neglect. Systematic ignoring. And they have dealt with it in a piss poor manner. Why? Becuz unlike those of us who grew up knowing how bad humans can behave and how criminal and abusive minds think, many people simply had never had direct exposure to such the fire. So what do they do? They cower and yield to intimidation and give compliance out of sheer exhaustion, giving in to authority and hoping that if they do so in thier weakness that there will be something to this promise of 'world wide peace'..through war, enslavement, denial of corruption, and the total concentration of power with obviously mad men and thier factions.

When science, the military, the medical industrial complex and other BUSINESSES start to appear to have god like unquestionable power or should I say moreso too much INFLUENCE over our perceptions or the way we conduct our daily private lives then they have formed an alliance that is akin to what religion used to be to The People.

Why does this seem like its not an age of reason anymore? Its as if reason and logic can only be utilized by people who have some sort of clout and anyone else is ignored as if having common sense or being right or saying what is true is meaningless.

This SHOWS that they are already creating such a gap between who is going to be part of a world wide social class that has a decent life and those of us left to exist like peasants. And it has nothing to do with looks, talent or intelligence. It seems its who will cooperate with whoever is in charge.
It may have always been like that but now one cannot even be left alone to rot outside the castle as a peasant. Someone has to come along after breaking one down to a lower level than they deserve to be in and then lean on the person until they become at least something useful to society.

When people are not allowed to express thier greatest talents and abilities that are genetically endowed to them from ancenstry yet they are not left alone to exist at a natural level after being broken then humans are no longer living in a natural state. Humans are no longer able to form naturally or exist naturally.

The Public need to take a very serious look at what exactly has come of MK Ultra and all subprojects that is being used covertly without thier knowledge within society. This must be factored into whatever other structures that authorities are building to keep us safe from crime- and from them and protest or revolt I assume.

Some questions should be
- why are you building a prison and many other types of systems to imprison or control man without officially acknowledging covert systems of manipulation of humans that are presently operating out in public spaces?
-why does authority refuse to look at or acknowledge its recent and past abuse of authority and corruption? But instead is utilizing cult brainwashing tactics on the public as in this day and age 'cover ups' are no longer possible so insisting on pulling such things off right under people's noses without caring who sees is now the fashion.
-why is man no longer allowed to be by himself with his own thoughts in his own mind, with his own soul as his greatest companion? Why must the state insist on owning men's souls to this extent as is possible today via cult mind control tactics and technology? And most of all why is the capacity for such a thing being possible hidden from the public?

I am sure we can keep asking basically the same things but really all we want to know is "Why are you up our asses every f*cking minute and when are we going to go back to being left the hell alone to conduct our own lives and see to our own affairs?"
That sums it up pretty much.

Oh and why are we not allowed to be happy with our own lives might be a good one too but it sounds to vague or philosophical like 'whats the meaning of life'? In fact you probably cant be alone to ask that either or some psych med peddler will come out and start telling you that wondering that is a disorder and you need a pill very very much so as you are so very very a world of medical students and professionals that are so wonderfully perfect and orderly (no pun intend) is what that intimates...

So you are going to pick and chose who is disordered which creates the perception that the world is so naturally in wonderous Order that people are a source of DIS order....uh. Yeah, this sh*t needs to stop. Soon.

BEFORE they build the huge prison yard for the whole planet. If yer targeted you know that for us its already there.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Posts from OnMC and the bitching blog

Contact from abusive Anonymous posters- its a tactical trap

"Enjoy wasting your time on this blog which few peo... Enjoy wasting your time on this blog which few people read or take seriously. I suggested you spend more focus on your book (and who you REALLY ARE) but you got pissy about that and so I am finally going to stop giving you my attention. If you want to waste time with homeless banter and "ranting" instead of COMPREHENSIVELY telling your story THAT IS YOUR BUSINESS.

I'm sorry I ever bothered. Good luck.
Publish Reject (Anonymous) 3:34 PM "

This and every other comment like this is surely meant to insult, humiliate and yes to destroy morale -hopefully the TI will take it personally.
But its main function I believe is to get the recipient into defense mode- thus gaining information.
With an ego my size as well as my belief and confidence in myself- of course which its well seen that is always in question BY another part of me at times, its very easy to appeal to that doubtful side and leak into the unshakable confindence. These are typical games played on artistic types with thier god-Creator like confidence coupled with more insecurities than the normal human being has to deal with. Its also easy to play on people who grew up poor in a rich city, have recently been shunned by multiple intimates who were of higher social status. Also this is typical to mess with compartmentalized people who often function as long as they dont know thier own Strength and Weaknesses as a whole system within the person.

Its main purpose however to to have me analyze just as I am doing now so I cant concentrate on creating anything by being just left alone.

Self defense on something like this brings the poster validation. Dont fall into this trap- its a tactic to gain information. Its also a time waster, a diversion and serves to break down morale if internalized.

All you need to know is this: the person never furnishes thier name. Its a ghost. Another attack from dark deep waters of bogey men in cyber space. And that is exactly the amount of weight they should have.