Spirit in Black

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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

human experimentaion

forget the gangstalking part of these events in my life. i now realize i am a human experimentee in what appears to be some sort of behavior modification operation.

partly, there seems to be a desire to break aggression in me.

i looked up some behavior modification tactics and they have been using the same tactics on me they use to modify dogs, ones with too much natural dominance who seek higher rank in the pack wherever they go. active behavior as well as passive behavior modification tactics have been employed, plainly i can see that now. sadly, gangstalking would come under active behavior modification and listed as 'flooding'-it specifically states:"warning, this will damage the animal" as does isolating the animal in a box as a tactic. I guess nobody realy cares if i am damaged or perhaps that is the result they want.

NOTE: animal behavior modification is NOT obedience training, its different.

i am being treated like an overly aggressive old police dog who would be much happier if i was modified to be someone's good little lap dog. As usual, the whole thing smacks of sexism, a commom problem for female targets. just look up 'active behavior modification dogs' or 'canine/k9 aggression.'

thats great, but i was trying to recieve help and guidance from my own proffesionals back home but i notice the usual 'stand down/be negligent' behavior from professionals. i had other people in my life telling me that it was obvious many a professional in my life were NOT doing thier jobs....becuz they were told not to. then i get more frustrated trying to figure stuff out on my own and with all the harassment...its a great way to make someone look crazy who doesnt quite know whats going on yet with being targeted.

also, being negligent with a target is a part of the passive behavior modification (keep things from the animal) and i consider it an act of aggression just like stalking. you are doing harm by purposely choosing to not provide services and your motive is to add to the target's duress.

there is also extensive use of sexual targeting to get into the will power center of a human i know why other cultures remove female the females of the house my not be seduced and bring down an entire important house. i understand this is not desireable for us but at least he practice makes sense now from the security standpoint of the male of the family. but this sort of nonsense is not supposed to be happening here, in USA and for targeting me its obviously being used, with gangstalking and many other tech tactics let me tell you, for behavior modification.
its very painful, to not think anymore or feel becuz everyone is gone, yer old life gone. alot of the tech tartgeting almost feels and seems like its a computer, and it ends abruptly at 12 midnight every nite and has for years.

i can imagine what the uses might be:
to keep us company in space if all other humans died on a ship or station.
to minimize the reaction to the coming...uh, events soon here on earth and/or to manage populations in the future.
to see if humans can be modified for long term space travel which would require the modification of the creativity/sex/agggression axis.

what i am going thru also resembles the exact formula for creating a submissive slave. being abducted right off the street(yer old life), being 'kept in the dark' in some basement or room (figuratively everyone keeps u in the dark when yer a target), passive behavior modification is keeping u from stimuli and active behavior modification would be punishment rendered on you physically. .. and who says my past interest in erotic publications was worthless? i had gotten this strange goofy book from an adult store it was French and it was supposed to be fantasy and for grown ups also it was more of a oddity. all of it was not pleasant reading either. no woman who seeks balance in her life is going to want to get taken away and enslaved for real or even entertain that it could happen in real life. bu this is another example of the feeling i kep getting by what goes on in my targeting that i am dealing with a huge sexist element. it keeps coming up again and again. why is it so important to enslave me if i would have gained more glowing results myself from my own plan? its like my plan would have entailed going thru recovered memories with a therapist and that is thier worst fear. so is me succeeding in life for some reason. this is the perfect example of the kind of men that think 'no means yes', 'she was asking for it' and women would really be happy if only they gave in to men, as if this is our true natures. this is seriously flawed and alot of my targeting reminds me of an abusive relationship with a man except there is no police to run to or restraining orders. in an era that would release a piece of crap like Black Snake Moan its quite possible a bunch of self righteous people who choose to control a woman, without looking at thier own lives and issues of course, would actually approve a bunch of nonsense like this. but people like me dont work that way...all u will get is a dead body on yer hands. maybe thats really what they want.

having my personality, mind and emotions cut up constatntly without the compartmentalization is akin to surgery without anestesia. its been cruel, heartless and constantly painful especially mixed with the neglect of my other health issues due to fear of further harassment.

i have someone around me who loves animals. she mentioned how appalled she was that the large 'urban' culture here jsut assumes that Pit Bull puppies are born to fight and this is thier lot in life. she was naively suprised when a college educated colleague expressed same sentiment. that's his culture, how is education going to fix all myth and folklore a culture is made up of ? anyway not many humans really truly lknow what they are doing with animals anyway, so she says to me "that isnt true, puppies arent born violent, they have to be taught" and according to my research she is correct. (came across it while reading about behave-modify).
but people just assume that mc survivor will not feel anything. that we come from intergenerational families that are born for this purpose, etc.. i have seen more people from the beginning who know very little about us but believe they do. all perps too:"yer strong u can take it" "you'll be ok" " good times will come later Rachael" ".as tough as u are?" What is this bullshit?? do these know ANYTHING about people to begin with at all?
more excuses for themselves so they can keep minimizing the abuse, constantly.

i dont care WHAT thier objective is, i did not sign up for this, nor am i being compensated....what they are doing is cruel and horrible and its a veiled threat to the rest of the world everytime someone gets targeted.

oh and dont fear Boston by the way...they aint sh*t, i wouldve been targeted and framed w/ a smear campaign anywhere i lived, just as i am targeted as i cross the country, in every state. these orders are given from a place that should scare everybody.
it should scare you into realizing you need to do something becuz social control through nasty means is already here. are u justgoing to sit there or are you stupid enough to actually think they jsut get rid of undesirables? maybe it is better if i get out of here, i cannot believe the human race is going to make this mistake yet again.

i've noticed that the culmination of all of this is i am shutting down. yet they do not want suicide.
w it seems that the total emptiness that i expereinced sitting next to my mother in 2003 is also planned for me as well. do not give it to them. remember, satanists have an obssession with reaching 'emptiness' yet this is only one religious outlook and a fuck*in' negative one at that.

you have a right to have dominion over the dark and light in your life(especially if your ME by the way) and to attain balance.

dont let them convince you that thier stupid darkness chamber is actaully real, remember, its all a culmination of years of abuse a target is going to expereince and really its simply Pavlovian conditioning.

it seems the technologies are real after all. i've researched as usual and its all possible.

they could reformat the personality for whatever thier purposes are.

the frustrating thing that most likely makes people die is that thier is NO JUSTICE , NO revenge for the target and operations seem to continue with no end. Ibelieve most people die as a way to preserve what little dignity they have left so they dont become completely controlled /forced to continue to live while being tortured.

a target should be dissatisfied with thier fate. this is not an acceptable lot in life especially for the beautiful, the talented, the highly intelligent of the earth.

it also feels like your energy is being stolen, every time your perped that is certainly the case, but ultimately, are we human sacrifices? as usual with these ops, it serves multi purpose.

i am sick of living under duress and getting absolutely no credit for doing such a damn good job. i have people around me that act snooty about me not working except only a certain kind of job where its very hard to perp me, and constantly treating me like a second class citizen becuz of my situationm has become so bad or perhaps they know i am a Target.

so that's it them? a second class citizen for life?

sounds like some very nasty perps on greyhound bus in the Memphis, Tenn. terminal said once they got on the bus and one young member felt bad for me...."she's just a target".

(needless to say the tornados seem to hit at least one deserving city).("..but its just the po' south!"is what everyone is saying across the country's it f*ckin feel? yer right, the 'hand of god' was upon you. keep believing sh*t like that and i'll keep getting all the revenge i need.)

this is the general attitude..nobody cares. does society need human sacrifices, targets, constantly to keep functioning?

this entry is all over the place but basically i am a Target being destroyed using: gangstalking, poisoning/drugging/gassings and technologies that seem capable of supressing the human willpower, making suggestions via ideation or emotion, giving disturbing dreams, and this HORRID false sense of well-being that sucks as hard as any anti-depressant.

serves a multitude of purposes: reformatting of the personality, sexism, 'satanic' objectives (these idiots are as bad as thier Christian counter parts they are reactionary against), keep witness quiet, whistleblower, human experimentee for whatever purposes that will serve, and it seems some sort of human sacrifice or stealing /use of my poweful healing energy.

Believe what u want about targets but their are way too many people around the planet complaining and documenting about this..but thats all part of the intimidation isnt it?
"oh, look at these poor suffering people and they jsut keep blogging and documenting and no one is doing anything"-exactly. what does it say, that 'no one is doing anything'?? it means you, the not targeted should be scared to death to GET targeted and go along with this program at any cost. see how we writh and fight and struggle and no one even acknowledges officially? these ar obvious human rights violations, and for people to jsut step around the issue shows the internet presence of testimony and radio shows etc is simply a part of the operation: DONT GET TARGETED. its unpleasant and no one will help you...these people tend to die horribly and live outside the parameters of society....
Thus gaining total compliance every time .

i personally think its completely hopeless, its just one has to mouth off as often as possible. the more testimonies the more people leave evidence.
but perhaps like i said before, society has had targets all along and needs them on some very primitive level.
perhaps the practice will never cease.