Spirit in Black

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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Boston Corruption/the federal investigation years

Sometimes in an effort to keep a focus on my enemies or at least the scum who tried have totally disgarded me in favor of rich scumbags (see Jake, Julie and friends) I look up what the rest of this self centered corrupt piece of shit known as Boston was focusing on while I was focused inward on suicide programming and being targeted.

I see pictures like this and have to realize that this is the city that exploited me all my life. And these are the kinds of punks that did it too. Maybe not these two specifically but men that look just like them. How would I know the difference?

Then I realize that no matter how much they try to ignore me I have some great dirt on this city. The only thing they can do is ignore me and label me crazy. I also have to realize that perhaps, being totally stupid normal people who live in the day to day 'real world' many of them may not have understood that forces much higher up decided to take advantage of the confusion of the war as well as this investigation to get rid of one little programmed expendable who was approaching her 'sell by date' as they say in spycraft. Which of course they also say in the world of mind control slavery but no one credible would ever be recorded officially saying that. Due to the fact its not supposed to exist. What is ironic about that is when you see in print the words 'sell by date' referring to an agent in spycraft as I have read plainly on the internet, internal programming is exactly what they are referring to.
The realities of spycraft you read about and mind control exist side by side. You would never know that unless you were on the inside which, you never ever want to be.
There is no one I have ever met, in my limited experience, that deals with anything covert in nature that seems healthy or happy as a normal person would- unless they can compartmentalize and pretend that world does not exist for a time.

I realize that the cops and local organized crime people were very busy with thier own issues during this time period:
Moltov cocktails? Ohhh subtle. I often wonder who is was trying to get me into cars all the time- feds, military, CIA (bad side not good), organized crime clowns or corrupt law enforcement. Trying to get rid of me, set me up. I often wonder just who was putting shit into my anti anxiety benzos so that pharmacists would tip me off or hospital staff would magically make a new batches of the drug appear just to give me when supposedly they did not carry or dispatch such a drug to patients. Was it these clowns? Some of the sh*t they pulled was just about as stupidly unsubtle as a bomb anyway (how come they didnt get written up as terrorists? A perp or two has intimated that I was put on the terrorist list. I wonder if that is the results of these local clowns and friends as well). Having a bunch of sleazy mafia lookin motherf*ckers try to get me into cars around metro Boston to entrap me into a prostitution charge is about as subtle as a Molotov cocktail. What the hell. They're just doing what comes naturally- I am rather embarrassed but not surprised at all the last names ending in vowels. Why must we always prove the stereotypes correct? But you know what? The system I have encountered does tell me that many ethnic factions are still having to resort to old systems of organized crime to have any power, to get anywhere in the USA. They will have a black president before they will ever have an Italian one. They had an Irish one and they just offed him. I now see that there is a system in the USA that consists of Jews, Blacks and the original WASPs that work together to run the US basically. Third wavers will always be excluded. Which is not racist its just what I have come across in my adventures with covert warfare- in real life and research pertaining to it. There are reasons why many crime operations still have so many vowel ended names. Old systems of ethnic oppression have not ended, especially in the northeast.

Also sending Scott to torture information out of me and to find out what I know- I can understand that from a business perspective, especially when the feds are trying to clean up a city and a system that will never be clean. Of course this was during Romney, Bush, Guliani and McCain. And of course sacrificial lambs from McCain's state and Romneys were given up as busts in the investigation- to buy thier way into the elections its obvious now. Every mind controlled slave with ANY connections to the network, you know what I mean, got on the internet and begged, pleaded with whoever would listen to NOT let those two through the white house doors together. I was not the only one. There were a few others I read saying the same things. It may have been a game or con by the system in place at that time but we all seemed to have this vision of those two escalating things to nuclear war status. Those photos of McCain hugging Bush are as creepy as it gets I think.
Of course they just went around whoever was too important to bust. Its very confusing for me as I was dealing with deprogramming not some outside real world federal investigation. Its hard to tell who is who. Should I consider the white vans (MA) and the black helicopters (MA, St Louis) to be a normal part of a federal investigation of police corruption, drugs and prostitution? Its not normal.
This must be what many perps are on about when they say: "Its over" like those two white ladies from Cambridge had said the other day. Many people honestly do NOT understand that as far as my situation is concerned it was a cover story. It was an involved situation during wartime and anti terror in the USA during Bush. Only through the years, understanding it from the outsiders perspective can I see how people might view these events. Why people in the street look at me and shake their heads as if it would be that easy under these circumstances to just get up and go back to having some sort of normal life. The more that I read about the situation going on around me that I was totally oblivious to the more I see what outsiders must see. And that not everyone is 'in on' gang stalking. Not everyone knows about mind control.

The problem has always been that the targeted survivor gets the treatment from covert factions who know they are programmed under circumstances that will forever cover thier true motives and actions against that person.

There is no way a targeted survivor of RA or programming is ever going to just get up and put thier lives back together.

Either they dont read this blog or they dont believe me, think I am lying or averting the situation.
There are things in this world you dont have access to knowing about. Also your world of drugs, crime, murder etc are pretty light hearted and run of the mill when it comes to the world of covet activities, black ops and classified projects. That being due to the fact that there is a system in place that already knows who is doing what- which is how they pull out thier valuable or favored assets during such things: note in the tapes of Jim Jones, supposedly they were FBI tapes only, the feds were listening in often to thier activities. But note the bit where a CIA man is the one who warns someone to get thier people out of the situation "before something happens to him".
The job of covert ops is not to solve all crime or even interfere. Thier job seems to be to keep quiet and unseen operations or assets human and otherwise from being interfered with during the real life overt stuff you would expect to be part of normal life. For all I know, my being programmed as well as a few old associates of mine also being assets, if even unknown to them, is what spared us all from getting into trouble during any of this. Most likely becuz the covert system has others uses for us or long term plans and doesn't want us destroyed. Thier job is to handle things very delicately so that no one knows they were even involved in influencing events.

They most likely allow crime to exist for the purpose of having a good cover for when its time to get rid of old assets. To this day I cannot understand why I was protected if the purpose is to destroy me. What they seemed to do is torture, rape and basically sacrifice me without lever laying a hand on me..which of course fits in perfectly with being an RA survivor.
I often wonder if the dolts involved in the mere federal investigation were trying to find out my part in all of it, then someone realized that it went further than that. Like me looking at old footage of diplomats from the 70's and saying to myself that I know I know that man from somewhere but where? Yes this is what I was told my an older perp in MI. That when I said that out loud I became a dead woman walking.
By the way f*ck you.

But again the covert system has the most frightening timing I have ever experienced. How was it that I was deprogramming in 2003? That this all started in earnest after my grandfather, the main family perp, died, and something in my mother's programming seemed to be triggered by his death. Something so evil that I really dont want to think about it. How is it that due to some mold exposure in my apartment, some brain damage that I began in 2003 to go through layers of suicide programming? Right at the time that Jake began turning on me, leading me on while slowly abandoning me? At this time period I was targeted in NA by people who seemed to support him. But why was there a covert faction in NA? I guess it was all during the time of the federal investigations. But these people worked to gas light me, harass me, destroy me and work on behalf of the system that gets rid of little girls who are programmed and waking up to that fact and remembering- not to solve crime or find out the chain of command pertaining to some drug rings and money laundering.
2001, the war, Bush. 2002 my grandfather died, I come back for funeral. Jake has turned into a druggy and dealer, hes a mess. 2002 I finally get place to live. 2003 my mother is totally creeping me out with a sinister vibe. Suicide programming sequences are activated there are 3 layers to get through. Apartment is moldy by two different water sources leaking one unseen by me long enough to get exposed to mold. I get sick from mold exposure as I am targeted so heavily that I cant leave and just go into my own little inner world, to deal with it as well as I am trying to understand my internal world of programming.
All during this time there was this huge investigation that I was opblivious to. And interestingly my own mother seemed to not be able to inform me of this. My old associate tried to warn me but by 2003 or 4 I was so far gone from Jake abandoning me at the same time leading me on as well as my being heavily harassed, stalked and targeted in other ways, that I start into a downward spiral. The mold starts to affect my health in ways that I will never recover from for the rest of my life. No one in NA seems to be aware of the investigation and I am gaslighted by everyone close to me to of course assist the people targeting me. The one person that had the most to lose being a career criminal is the ONLY ONE who warned me and put me into the direction of what was really going on.
The cover story for my behavior during this time I later learn, was that I must have been on drugs. My former sponsor instead of telling me the truth, blames my situation on me saying that I was taking the anti anxiety benzos prescribed to me, so it was my own fault for whatever was happening to me and around me.
The people how had little to lose but could have warned me like Jake and my mother, used the opportunity to gain as much as they could during this time period. And due to these moves got themselves opportunities and favors that they would not have had before or ever again.

I suffered for years with ill health, still feeling its effects, am denied my rights and proper just handling of a law suit for damages to my health and potential concerning the mold exposure, as well as have suffered being harassed, targeted, stalked and destroyed in an obvious effort to first cause suicide and now to behavior modify me to keep me silent. While all the people who helped gaslight me or target me now lead their lives or have improved lives due to thier actions.

One must wonder why a nobody like myself during this investigation was so important, and warranted such attentions especially when I did not seem to know what was going on. The monitoring of me was basically used as entertainment I know that now.

Secret projects or black ops were being done readily under the cover story of war, terrorism, federal investigations, busts etc.
This all started back in 2001:
"what is emerging as one of the country's worst law enforcement scandals." Gee you'd have thought that I would have known about it and if not THAT SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME WOULD HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT IT. Instead, I was gaslighted and spoon fed very little bits like that whatever is going on, dont go to the FBI even if you're being harassed becuz you dont know anything anyway. That was it. And that just left me more confused.

I also, even in my confused state, wondered what ever happened to subpoenas.

The whole thing was total bullshit when it comes to my situation. I was harassed within an inch of my life. I was looking up euthanasia possibilities in the USA and abroad, which is what I was going to use my mold settlement for when, upon googling "police corruption" I found the words "gang stalking". It literally saved my life.
Which is why I supposedly waste my time doing activism every day of my life. I cant have a normal life anyway so why not? What else do I have left?
And its interesting when I returned here for years after like 2007 or 2008, that psychological warfare was being done in a very heavy campaign- lots of classical conditioning. Which means that I never had a chance.

So when people say "its over" or look at me like why dont I move on, I often wonder if they are refering to it from a perspective of the true story, or the cover story. Only knowing the cover story would explain thier callus ignorance.

This is another reason I believe that targets go postal. They are set up in some similar circumstances so that only they and the covert factions know what is really being done to them, and perhaps the people only knowing the cover story or that some bullying is occuring, go on that. This would explain why they are caught by surprise when the target totally looses it. How are they supposed to know that they are a programmed expendable or that there is heavy psych warfare going on that specifically targets the person's weak points?

If you knew how cold hearted, brutal and sadistic these factions and covert warfare really is, you would NOT want to be in on something like this. Most people are fairly harmeless even if they are like the clowns mentioned above compared to the covert factions- what they are capable of, the amount of money and access they have is way above the heads of most people in society.

Drug dealing or telling someone that they will pay with their lives or the lives of their family if anything goes wrong is trite and business as usual compared to the sh*t I have seen. Try being abducted by an entire bus out in the desert or going across the midwest, gassed, messed with and then woken up to recall everything...but you cant yerself believe it.

The things I have been through create a fear worse than death. Terror is worst than death or the loss of human life.

Getting someone sick with exposure to mycotoxins, having those closest to them betray them, then being harassed and stalked around the USA while victimizing them with psychological warfare for years on end as well as murder attempts, all the while they are conversely protected by covert factions and never allowing them any time to talk to anyone or get healing, never letting them alone, never letting up, and always pushing for suicide- THAT my friends is alot more twisted, alot worse than losing one's family or one's own life.

If you are a target of gang stalking and you are a survivor of RA and programming, you will experience torture, chaos and not only the destruction of yer very self and soul but in the end the forces behind such actions demanding possession of you for the rest of your earthly life.

Seems that for some of us business as usual is not so usual after all. And corrupt cops playing with the system have it easy compared to being a targeted survivor/expendable who was never even allowed to have a place in the real world to begin with.

Consider yourselves very fortunate. Years in jail as a token take down so the really important people dont have to fall sucks I agree. Its better than being wiped out of existence, of course having never been allowed to exist outside of slavery to begin with.

Black and Red Finally Solved: Anarchists/Socialism

I had noticed that Black and Red were becoming prevalent in the USA at an alarming rate. I noted it in photos of supporter of Obama, photos OF Obama and his family as well as celebrities from around the world.

To say there is something to this is to get called paranoid which no TI needs. I am not the only one who has seen this and is alarmed by it becoming an epidemic of black and red. On television tv personalities wear this color as well as its slipped into clothing choices of tv characters as well as can be seen on actors in still ads out in public spaces.

I seemed connected to the Obamabots and if you thought so too you were right:

Here is its place in Anarchist symbolism:

Here is an example of seeing it in use in ads or identified out in public space or attached to a business:

The danger of this is that many of us have been heavily targeted during Bush and then it only became tolerable during Obama but has not ceased. Many of us sensed that we distrust Obama and he is continuing on the plans of Bush somehow.

TI's are people who are often very dangerous to the agenda. We often see that groups that claim opposition are often in on a grand plan with each other.

Many of us noted being targeted in a way that seemed to be solely to get Obama elected. There seemed to be a celebration of him being in office by the very people who were part of our gang stalking campiagns. In my experience during Bush the same people in on the heavy targeting were years later supporting Obama in what seemed like nothing less than a conspiracy.

So the question is this: if Obama's supporters are supposedly against Bush supporters or that party then why would they be involved in a sustained effort during both administrations?

Becuz what they are really supporting is the next move to an NWO. The only link that Obama and Bush as well as other supposedly rival party members share is the constant reference to a New World Order.

The reason TI's are targeted through all administrations as well as excluded from basicically taking part in the world or society at large is becuz we are often the kind of people who see right through this plan for world wide enslavement. We can plainly see that it makes no sense if opposing parties seem to be in on the same effort. The most that our opposition can do is call us paranoid or discredit us before we understand what the larger plans are, which they have done to many of us.

Its becuz people like myself do not want a NWO. We still believe in personal freedom and liberties. Also, we unlike most of the population who is being brainwashed (by such tactics as color symbolism etc) we have experienced first hand the abuses of the system. Many of us have been tortured through covert warfare in ways similar to what is used at Gitmo. Attempts on our lives were even made. Many of us are still wondering what its all about. If you are a survivor of programming or RA or some scandal involving organized crime then you can see from testimonies of other targets this is par the course for not suicidal or taking on a label to please the system with official discreditation.
But then you are also very familiar with the usual suspects: various intelligence agencies or the dreaded triad: CIA/Mossad/MI6, the military, or any of the above along with organized crime and what seems like union playing along such as cops, firemen, ambulance, city workers and contracted out to street gang organized crime such as Bloods etc.

If you even mention CIA, US govt or the military you are immediately ignored and considered either mentally ill and paranoid/delusional or attention seeking. The problem with this is that there is reason to suspect these factions due to MK Ultra involvement, progress in technologies for war/psy ops, psych warfare/and the historical track record of illegal human experimentation. If you read up on the way the intelligence agencies run thier games you will see that not only does it strongly resemble spy craft but the brutality of these agencies in the works especially Mossad, reminds TI's of the uncaring, sadistic, cold brutal way in which organized stalking perpetrators seem to target us all. The things I have seen could only be pulled off by a group that has a huge amount of resources as well as total access to anything they need. They are above the law whoever they are. Also such an outfit could have access to the intelligence gathered and psychological profiling that could allow the perpetrators to target each one of us so effieciently. The very fact that these people know things about us they should not, and we have seen this first hand during Bush, shows that they have special access that most law enforcement would not have. They also seem to have carte blanche in going after a human being that is targeted with no regard for human rights or civil rights. Money and ultimate power to pull of psychological operations that are so brutal over the years it destroys the human beings targeted by such ops.

Police and others seem to be in on it for either personal reasons, to avoid exposure of thier local crime operations or personal illegal activities but there are many people who seem in on it due to the fact that its such a powerful organization above them that they do not dare interfere as well as say no to anything they need or want to get the job done.
People of the USA are genuinely afraid of whoever is behind organized stalking and harassment. As we have seen, with very good reason.

The reason we stay targeted for life is that once one is exposed to this reality they must be silenced forever I assume, becuz now we see the full picture of how the country, if not the world is run. That covert activity is what truly shapes much of the reality humans live in.

Knowing this one can see how suspect it is that one adminstration seemed to only provide the trauma and breakdown needed to get an entire population to become disillusioned and want to embrace a system like Anarcho-communist socialism or whatever it is. Its a cult which Obama heavliy relied on the get fans and elected. This is why you may find yourself siding with or wishing for Republican rule again...its the most sensible reaction actually.

There is something more 'honest' about Conservative Republican DIShonesty. Something more truthful about the way they disdain thier enemies and play dirty tricks to gain advantage. This is at least somewhat warfare we are used to- Obama and whatever these black and reds are, have brought a new level of childishness and insanity to the USA and its people.

If you wear black and red realize its not just a trend. It is meant to brainwash an entire nation out of thier freedoms and its a step in the NWO forming into a reality.

There is some confusing for those of us with Ritual Abuse histories. I will do a piece on that on my other blog where such material is more appropriate. The short version is that black and red are traditionally Luciferian colors. Which is makes the more overt association with Anarcho Socialism even more suspect, as one world religion based on a Luciferian system is what many researchers have found is a suspected plan for a one world religion within the NWO.

As survior of RA both Luciferian and Satanic I can tell you that without excersising the human Will, without individuality- especially the Luciferian systems, this is an untrue representation of this kind of system.

I have also experieced what many others have which is what seems like the destruction of individuality as well as personal excellence as part of the activities of whatever cult is linked to black and red.

That is NOT Luciferian. Personal excellence is Luciferian if not perfection reached as an ideal. Nothing less is acceptable. In many survivors programming death is the cost of losing one's standards for total perfection.
So for this cult or movement to be destroying personal excellence, talent, specialness or trying to impose other communist-like equalities on Americans, especially via covert warfare or psy ops is very VERY suspect.

It could be that the Luciferian aspect or a Satanic one comes in with the public being deceived or enslaved due to all these activities.

It seems that neither side is safe for anyone desiring to stop the insanity that has taken hold of the USA if not the whole western world.
The republicans that were in during Bush as far as being targeted they allowed the system to be especially cruel. Now it seems that during Obama whatever this movement is to a world wide movement has taken off and those of us who would probably have had anything to say about it or interfered- the attitude is that we are safely out of the way and need to stay there.

Another note on black and red- I know that this blog uses those colors but its due probably to RA and me associating with those colors naturally or unconsciously and has NOTHING to do with supporting Anarcho Socialism.

I support nothing that makes its way into society using psychological operations as well as the use of technologies that are supposed to be used only overseas in psy ops. These technologies deny mankind the ability to reason and think for himself. They deny man his ability to excersise his Will.

Also one must wonder how good of an idea any of these plans are if they have to utilize the most deceptive methods available to gain momentum for thier agenda. Why hypnotize, manipulate, brainwash, use trauma based mind control systems and hide your activities if its all such a great idea and a great system.

Seeing the whole picture it seems more deceptive than anything else. For those of us who are RA survivors or some experience with Luciferian systems, we know that deception is an art form and those people prefer deceptions over truth to begin with. Many of these types of people find it enjoyable and charming to exist in such a world without hard truth and reality. They never have to truly grow up, never have to take real responsibility for thier actions. In many cases such people consider staying within the confines of such a Dizzniland to be the only way to exist or save face for thier actions.
When you are an artist this may be acceptable. When you are in office and being responsible for people's lives as well as supposedly representing thier interests cult mind control as well as such all inclusive deceptions have no place in such realities. We are not children and this is not Dizzniland. And many of us find it ultimately distasteful to live not only in dreamworld, but most of all a dream world not of our own creation but of someone else's.

By demanding inclusiveness and people not being on thier own to think for themselves (disconnection=danger) it denies each human being their own place of imagination and exploring thier own godlikeness or godspark. It then leads each person snagged in the cult's net one alternative: to live in the imaginary dream world formulated by others, joined by others, dictated to by those that serve that agenda.

Also look at Shepard Fairy's work. I knew I didnt like what I saw but now I fully know why. Note the communist symbols and black and red are often used.

It was a brilliant take over plan of the USA and all western culture. By putting together elements that traditionally are in conflict, many will not figure it out. Communist images with a capitalist spin? Dont get it. Its not communism so what is it? Well now people like me know a little too late, but at least it really nails people like Fairy who supported Obama so vehemently.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A post about Perelman the math genius..and some scant recall of being targeted

I was never good at math. Reading, writing and lit were subjects I excelled in above average levels as a kid. But as I grew older drawing took a back seat to poetry, then writing compulsively. After that I seemed to become very comfortable with math about my mid 30's. I started to consider taking math and really improving, I even started to see how math was in everything I had done before like artwork or poetry. This is when the system came down hard on me. Its as if they were afraid of this late blooming. I will never figure out what it is about math that is so frightening to the establishment.
Since I have been burned out and had my wiring ripped out I only blank out when even trying to read what his original problem was he solved..but that doesnt matter anymore. To people like myself living this nightmare, his unwavering stubborness to stick to his ethics as well as to reject a society based on...well it sounds like he is using logic in alot of the arguments made against his colleagues. One can see it in the way he speaks, as it is written. It looks- like math.

Math in the form of complicated musical composition up to levels I can understand anyway, calms me, internally. From someplace deep within.

One of the perps here in Boston once made a comment pertaining to some people getting a calming effect from what others would find grating or annoying. I knew she was pertaining to me being monitored at certain university libraries and them seeing that I was actually calmed by gut wrenching death metal or black metal. Sure its the matching of the stress and anger etc inside- the expression of it. But its also the pure math and its fast and exacting.

It seems instead of a target satiating that part of their mind that was never really used or is awakened now with deprogramming, the system would rather make you feel bad about being smart and underfed mentally, and then use this against you to destroy that part of you. The longer you are kept from stimuli -your mind just gives up on seeking it.

I am becoming a true American now. I dont even think I am suited for Europe anymore as years ago. They have dumbed me down to the point where soon I will be so damaged I may just genuinely be happy to never leave the USA.
You know thats what this is about anyway. One retired professor warned me: "You cant be yourself in this country". Another one I overheard saying "Well, they want conformity not intelligence". He was saying that to a group of students visiting the hostile I was at in St Louis MO and before he made that conclusion they were speaking about me, the strange guest of the owner those months.

Yeah, suicide. Beats a full fledged reduction of intelligence, spirituality and emotional desensitizing...just to become a lemming up in this motherf*cker. It may already be too late.
Just the amount of brain damage the mold exposure has done should make people a bit humbled about what was going on..but its seems that like the true behavior modification program this is, that is PART of what they are doing- just like in MK Ultra mycotoxins seem to make the mind more easily wiped and reformatted. This is why its ignored. Well it isnt ignored by me. I have to suffer through the effects daily while living in a front alter that keeps up happy appearences. People are so genuinely stupid. They really believe that its all 'ok' what is going on or what was done. Nobody really grasps how damaging MK Ultra is or its use in this modern era.

How much brain damage must be done before the person can be 'reformatted'. And the sick people who are in on this dont care. I believe they are so psychotic, so brainwashed and so selfish that they only wish to alter the person.
For instance they have to hate on me in order to really believe that I need to be modified or deserve this.

When the whole story is told I will drop my happy face persona. It will be safe to do so. I will then be confident that I am safe in reality. That there is on record the whole true story of events as they happened. Then no one can convince me or anyone else that this is just or I deserved this.

Last night I was resting in front of the COOP. I got a flash of someone driving by very quickly who thought I was getting what I deserve due to past association with a cab driver friend named John Horner. He's one of those dirty old men who takes care of wayward girls, and typically he worshipped me when I was young, let me borrow money as a herion addict in my twenties knowing full well what that was about, letting me stay with him and the whole time wining like a kid about his ex wife who obviously grew out of dealing with being with a drunk semi talented musician. Who is secretly in love with his naturally talented way harder partying trumpet player. Who was a mercurial genius. Johnny on the other hand had to practice 8 hours a day just to perform very mediocre.
This system I believe uses him as some sort of poster boy for f*cked over men in my life. He was always 20 or so years older than me and should have been a responsible adult. These are just more excuses by the sick sexist faction that is partially behind this. And I will bury every one of them eventually. EVERY ONE.
When I got older he insisted that I finally sleep with him. I tried it just to see what he was about. One of the worst out of two sexual experiences in my whole life. I mean EVERYONE. In my 'real' life and my alter ego as well. After wards he admits that he "made a dirty deal" about getting me to sleep with him. The guy is just power hungry and thats all he is. A piece of shit. My old associate supposedly used to mess with him..probably to keep control over her drivers. He said it like it was another power trip.

This was the guy who looked at me sheepishly after I made some rythms naturally with some sticks he gave me: "Ok you've got natural talent"..AH HA! Now we know the real reason he helped target me. True enough. And he was one of the major people to help the system take me down.
And every sucker male who believes in him and other men who have used me then were jealous or in competition with my intellectually or creatively (See Jake) or how 'difficult' I could be then used all that as excuse to band together to destroy me.
Its pathetic really. Hes such a pawn.
I recall he said to me that he had a dream where I walked off onto a path and just kept walking off into this purple sunset until I couldnt be seen anymore. You should have heard the way (and the time period) he conveniently made it sound just like being targeted to death, which is what this system does.

This is not the first time I experienced this sexism from total psychopaths. In St Louis MO I experienced a cop car stop way in front of me, and the driver focused on me. I heard loudly something about 'the bitch finally got what she deserved' or 'the filthy whore finally got what she deserved'. It was so obviously from that car. And St Louis was the most violent and crazy place for this campaign. They think no one knows what they are up to out there in the mid west- no one can hear you scream type attitude. The midwest also had the most bizarre Satanic experiences I've had as well.
And as far as my finances have no idea what it takes to live in this situation and try to budget money. Its not normal circumstances. And also when you get money at a certain time the perps lean on targets so they will spend and be at a disadvantage once again. Its true this really has happened. It especially occurs in Boston/Cambridge and places like SoCal. Very 'money=happiness' kinds of places usually have this timed tactic but then thats the whole US anyway.

I got another validation today. A man in Harv Sq earlier was talking about gang activity. He started to tell me where each gang had a stronghold and sure enough "Most of the Bloods are in Central Sq" and down "that way". Once again I am validated. Cryps never seemed to bother me. I never once saw anyone wearing blue give me a hard time. Only red t-shirts and white t's and that was St Louis. That guy who got killed by this system....I mean died of an accidental overdose who got too close to me as well as started to validate certain very covert aspects of the psy ops, Tony, had family in the Bloods and his friend told me he thought all that sort of lifestyle was "the sh*t".

I sat down to avoid anymore stupid looks here in Central Sq today. I just wanted to not walk down the street and see if I could screw up thier timing. That works alot when you don't take the predicted action they seem to work off of.

I sat in a random place, then I felt someone looking at me and being a bit concerned. I then looked over and realized that the Middle East rock club is right across from me. They are all so clueless arent they? They either believe
-its over
-shes mentally ill or they drove her to it
-shes a danger as she is back to get revenge

They just dont get it. That this is not over and a book has to be written that fills in the blanks for all the morons who think 'its over'. I bet they dont even know what happened to me or how bad this was. They all are so protected by being able to live in 'the real world' and not isolated like I am being, that they have no perception of what this is like.

No one is going to believe me now or in near future. I know that the people that destroyed my life or chances for a future here will never be caught, will never have to pay for what they did. But in the future, when people are more associated with emerging technologies and the fusing of humans and tech, people will see that the human mind can be programmed like a computer under the right conditions.

Wondering who is in that club that is so concerned just brought back memories of how bad this was, how many people conspired who are rich, connected to each other- what a plot of evil design it was, how outrageous and illegal. And I keep feeling that I have been shunned, thrown away, ditched and they have no concept of my existence. I think about how much my face has aged, my health has been destroyed. And how in the end, its going to be just as perps have dictated as the end result has all been projected already: "You will become a contreversial writer". Its a bit depressing when the system that takes your life away then tells you what the outcome is going to be. No pay off, no restitution, no revenge. Just them, in control for the rest of the target's life and no one can do anything about it.

People have to understand these are hardcore professionals. I realized later that I had what they would consider secrets that the public should not thier eyes I have to be discredited. All that is being done is to do damage control. Someone, like local cops and their rich asshole friends must have screwed up and triggered some programming or something or tried to destroy me only to realize that I wasnt just stupid and had an eccentric private life- I was a programmed mind controlled slave and I was capable of the directive to kill anyone who was a threat to 'the mission' or internal programming structures. That if I had not the control I did and the people handling this didnt have the experience and foresight to control the situation and fix what had been messed with- there is a very good chance that I could have done some great physical damage...IF the wrong programming sequence was triggered and for some reason I lost control. With my internal systems I would have killed myself before killing innocents..but when people attack you the way it was done they are not innocent. But part of me always knew that they would have to be really stupid (innocent) to set things up the way they did and try to pull what they did on me. There are many things I could have done, and I feel at times that the system, being a very dark reality, would have allowed me a few 'kills' to even up the score fairly. However I knew that its what they may have been trying to drive me to, due to wanting to frame me as a violent person and end my life or freedom in society on that note as well as more taking my soul by driving me to kill others. While in my own personality anyway. NO survivor of mind control slavery and programming can tell you for sure if they have killed in any other conshusness. I dont want to know really.

What the perps wanted was not to use me covertly but to have me do something that the regular authorities would catch overtly and off to jail I go. The control that I showed deserves a metal in itself.

All these poor dolts probably still think about the cover story. They think I am some poor dumb female who was poor and got caught up in an investigation where rich kids tried to frame me and my old associates tried to get rid of me. I was told to my face by an informant that I was "inconvenient" and when I look at the people around me its probably a number of people working together.

The best piece leaked info was a woman trying to intimate that lawyers as well as the people involved who knew me went into a room and basically plotted my demise (her words were "plot against you". Something about lawyers should be doing thier jobs not going into a locked room and "plotting against you". One day I want to know if that is really true. I am going to laugh my ass off. They are so f*ckin stupid.

Wanna know why? Becuz I wouldnt have been so vulnerable nor easy to go after had I not been experiencing fallout from being programmed. Its a laugh to think they just thought I was really crazy or THAT stupid or feeble minded. If that were so why would I not have been destroyed long before then? Or exploited. Do you honestly believe that miss J had THAT much power? Hmph. From what I have seen, little miss fat and blonde is programmed her damn self. Daddy worked for the CIA part time and she hates Halloween becuz she is terrified of people in masks. She's got all the -isms.
What I think occured is that she wont break from the system so she's a good little asset as well as she is far more valuable than I. She really serves a purpose thats for sure. So this happens in the world of covert activity alot. To set up one asset of lesser value to protect another much more valuable one. Its more than organized crime that protects that chick I'll tell you that much- its so obvious.
Like my mother she will never have the strength to tell the system bye bye and f*ck off I dont want this for myself anymore. She just wont. Pehaps her nature is more evil than mine. Besides she is a bona fide career criminal. I was just very useful for a few years. Big difference.

So the morons around here seem to think they won, its over, I am gone and need to move on, forget about what happened, realize that the system will never pay for its crimes, that I will never get any justice.

What was done essentially was to either test new systems of technology or to see if MK Ultra really can break down programmed persons and become a very useful behavior modification tool to essentially get rid of assets or agents or other mind controlled persons..not so much the fear of suicide bombers like they claim but to silence people who due to activism like this, discover thier situations, survive suicide programming and then start wanting answers and telling thier stories. THEY DONT WANT THAT above everything else this is about covering thier asses as usual. If the public realized that most covert warfare was done by programmed slaves and the abuse that it takes to control such people there would be public outcry if people really understood mind control slavery as well as its connection to pedophile rings and activity- which is probably thier number one fear of all.
You have no idea what it takes, as I am realizing, to bring you the level of quality of life one has in the USA. The crimes that are committed are outrageous. And I can understand the way of doing things as if the USA didnt bully others on behalf of itself and its 'friends' then someone else would.

raining heavy. tarp not working so well now. at least i know that the lazy perps are prob gone now.

Craigslist wont let me post any ads as of Sept/ they have pulled this before

Here is the add that is being blocked on Craigslist boston:

( Electronics)- $xx
Date: 2010-09-28, 12:35PM EDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here [Errors when replying to ads?]

Too heavy for me to carry backpacking. (electronics). New in box. Proof of purchase upon request.

Please remember that we don't edit or proofread your posting and that the responsibility for the content is yours.
Here is the error message:

This posting is being blocked (Blocking Log Entry 1452749):

Common reasons include:

* Essentially the same

item has been posted to multiple cities or categories, or more than once in 48 hours
* Post contains a link or URL to a commercial website or auction
* Personal ad appears to contain a phone #, email address, or URL

Many other possible reasons for blocking are listed in the Conduct section of our Terms of Use
Edit Again
Many laws, regulations and policies, in a variety of jurisdictions, regulate the goods and services that may be bought and sold. For your convenience, we have prepared a list of some of the types of prohibited and restricted items the advertisement for sale of which is not permitted on craigslist.

craigslist users remain responsible for complying with all applicable laws, regulations or restrictions on items, services, or manner of sale, payment or exchange, that may apply to transactions in which they participate -- including but not limited to those imposed by the state of California, where the craigslist service physically resides. We encourage you to research the applicable laws and regulations that may apply to your transaction.

Partial list of items for sale and services the advertisement of which is not permitted on craigslist:

* Obscene material or child pornography.
* Offer or solicitation of illegal prostitution.
* Weapons and related items, including but not limited to firearms, disguised, undetectable or switchblade knives, martial arts weapons, scopes, silencers, ammunition, ammunition magazines, BB guns, tear gas or stun guns.
* Items issued to United States Armed Forces that have not been disposed of in accordance with Department of Defense demilitarization policies.
* Fireworks, including but not limited to "safe and sane" fireworks or any destructive devices or explosives.
* Controlled substances or illegal drugs, substances and items used to manufacture controlled substances and drug paraphernalia.
* Alcohol or tobacco products.
* Prescription drugs and medical devices, including but not limited to prescription or contact lenses, defibrillators, hypodermic needles or hearing aids.
* Nonprescription drugs that make false or misleading treatment claims or treatment claims that require FDA approval.
* Blood, bodily fluids or body parts.
* Household pets of any kind including but not limited to dogs, cats, primates, cage birds, rodents, reptiles, amphibians, fish. Re-homing with small adoption fee OK
* Pet animal parts, blood, or fluids - including but not limited to stud/breeding service
* Restricted or regulated plants and insects, including but not limited to noxious weeds, endangered plant species, or live insects or pests.
* Pesticides or hazardous substances, or items containing hazardous substances including but not limited to contaminated toys, or art or craft material containing toxic substances without a warning label.
* Illegal telecommunications equipment, including but not limited to access cards, password sniffers, access card programmers and unloopers, or cable descramblers
* Stolen property, or property with serial number removed or altered.
* Burglary tools, including but not limited to lock-picks or motor vehicle master keys
* False identification cards, items with police insignia, citizenship documents, or birth certificates.
* Counterfeit currency, coins and stamps, tickets, as well as equipment designed to make them.
* Counterfeit, replica, or knock-off brand name goods.
* Material that infringes copyright, including but not limited to software or other digital goods you are not authorized to sell, warez, bootlegs (without consent of the band).
* Airline tickets that restrict transfer, and tickets of any kind which you are not authorized to sell.
* Coupons or gift cards that restrict transfer, and coupons or gift cards which you are not authorized to sell.
* Gambling items, including but not limited to lottery tickets, sports trading card 'grab bags', raffle tickets, sweepstakes entries or slot machines.
* Used or rebuilt batteries, or batteries containing mercury.
* Used bedding and clothing, unless sanitized in accordance with law.
* Non-packaged food items or adulterated food.
* Bulk email or mailing lists that contain names, addresses, phone numbers, or other personal identifying information"
Here is my letter to them through the contact link. Calling them resulted in them telling me to use the website:
phone num used for acct
email address
retype email address
your location
subject blocked from posting
describe the issue
(please provide post ID numbers,
error messages, etc) you are still blocking my posts. I only want to sell electronic equipment that is too heavy for my back pack. There is no reason to block the ads. The ad only says that I want to sell a dvd player. My other ad is looking for housing for myself and a fellow traveler. I could post last month but I am now blocked no matter what I do and none of the possible reasons apply to me. Why is it that I seem blocked every since the adult ban went into effect. If you can link my ad to adult services then you would be in the right however my ad has never been linked to adult services. Unless you give a good reason
for the ban then its got to be a great coincidence and I dont like what its intimating. Make it so I can post or provide a good reason
why I am not allowed to post on Criagslist."

The other post I tried to put up simply is looking for housing for myself and a fellow traveler. The posts I had up to sell an inverter last month were not interferred with at all. This has been occuring this month but I didnt use my account until this week so I dont know when exactly it started. The timing is very suspect. There is no reason that every ad I try to post up as of this month gets this error message. None of it applies. Its harassment plain and simple unless they have a different rationale.

I have only posted ads for housing in CA and selling a few electonics items to lighten my back pack here in MA.

Craigslist pulled the same thing more overtly (without an error message) in 2006 preventing me from posting any ads for roomates no matter how I tried. It was overt tech interference with no error messages for an excuse.

(the electronics in question was kind of a gift. Before anyone gets offended you have to understand Ihavent had money for food, laundry or gear for past 2 weeks. My SD card is finally worn out and broke so I cant film or edit whats on the damaged card. This money would have been very useful.)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Roots of New World Order Zionism: The Khazarian Conspiracy// Bonding you to 'the state'

Its an interesting series, all be it a bit sensational.

What you have to understand is that there is an answer as to why that man did not resign from his post at MI6. Its all very simple as to why any of these people play along in this.
They either believe it is right and necessary for the future of humanity as they would like to see it go or they themselves are under constant threat. Thier families, careers thier very lives. That man would rather have a camera in his face or suffer some other embarrassment than what higher ups have planned for him if he doesn't comply.

I doubt if any of what we do is going to be able to stop exceedingly rich mad men. But we have to do it anyway. Some of us are programmed as the opposition is so giving in is not an option. Both sides tethered to thier viewpoint, taking action in this showdown.

Its tiring isnt it? Whats the point really? But even if we lose its better than going out with no fight at all.
And by the way if prevention was used this cure for humanities ills wouldnt have to be used. Every person or child may be precious but if people made better choices or were encouraged to live more carefully then not every child would be born so overpopulation wouldnt be a problem.

And as for the excuse that smart people consume more that is ridiculous. If you changed the value system of westerners you would be able to curb people's consuming habits. I personally know responsible consumers who are highly educated so this is all excuses for--guess. A system that has purposefully created consumers to begin with for profit now wants to blame those creations for enviromental disaster. The whole thing is ridiculous.

If only people were directed to start a long time ago to live differently or forced to then there wouldnt have to be this problem. They created it so now they want to fix it. Why did they not really educate the public on having too many children, over consumption etc? They want the money that is all. And I am sure that making money has alot to do with whatever they are doing next.
And its not just Zionists- there are all kinds of people in on this.

I dont know if I trust Farrakhan but if he is for real, not just playing to the crowd then secretly going back to the oppressor with support- then at least its understandable now why there is pressure on race relations. So that we cant bond together and take on the power structure. Makes sense

So everyone is out for themselves.

I dont know if I believe Aaron Russo. What proof does he have of all that being said?

And its a bit much blaming all Jews. I have seen first hand that Jews are often, like everyone else, unkind to other Jews or exclude them. I think we are talking about a very selective group and its obvious that leads to other select groups among powerful people who want this put into action.

But not all powerful people are in on this...or myself and other dissenters would not be alive to blog and do activism as we are today.

I wish the New World Order was something good. That it could promise something of a better world. Existence under mind control is just not worth a peaceful existence. Its not living. And if the use of mass mind control through technologies is the endgame then its not-good. There is no life without the Will.

Farrakhan. I don't trust preachers no matter what they are saying. They always look like con men.

There are very telling bits to this vid and some of it is revealing and useful. But my gut reaction and what my head tells me is that its somehow disinformation based. And something tells me not to use it or get involved in this manner.

If you want people to not die from starvation then stop overpopulating. Stop feeding people until they understand that there is zero tolerance for too many births. Make it a law. Dont allow Christian groups who wont demand birth control in exchange for food and medicine to go near third world countries. Why isnt there prevention instead of cure?

I DO believe in much of the outcome based education theories as well as stealing a generation of kkids and the dumbing down on purpose. One can see it clearly even now. Many TI's have even experienced a process in thier behavior modification that attempts to bond them to 'the state' and its authority figures (such as police). This has actually happened to TI's as individuals so it makes sense that it might happen to large groups of people as well-but it need not be done by force as there is no resistance there yet among the young and teachable.

Craigslist blocking every ad I post

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

MK Ultra testimony vid from Pres Advisory Committee..WTF?

I never really watched this before. Thoroughly. I sort of skimmed over it.

Took a good look at it. I realize now that yer not gonna get much justice if the panel or committee is frickin programmed as well. Its a joke. And to think my mother was intimidated out of going to this thing. And to ask the therapist to be ready in one week is so obviously bullshit.

It doesnt at all look like a real courtroom. This should have been tried in a military tribunal or something similar. At least a real court room. What is this b*llshit? Its so Mikky Mowse.

And no one seems to be asking the right questions about this including myself til now. How many handlers were in that room, or agents?

Look at the committee as the camera goes around the room. Guilty as all hell. I dont see Congress or Senate looking like that in session on C-Span. Why? Becuz they are a legit government body as well as any corruption or deals they have going on they hide alot better than this bullshit, like pros.

Which leads me to believe that this whole committee resembles the gang stalking that these victims have gone through for years. Its either 'we dont want to deal with you' or 'we all know this is bs so lets get it over with'. Why do they all look so f*cked up if that is NOT the case? Judges and lawyers dont look like that. They look like they are attending a damn funeral, which of course is part of psychological warfare.

If you know anything about programming look at thier eyes. I am talking about the committee not the obvious victims. Give me a break.

Look at 00:38. The therapist Valerie brushes her finger across her cheek slightly. Watch the man behind her to her left. It seems he is alternating between looking at the cameraman and the victim testifying on Valerie's left. By 00:45 you can see that he has done the same gesture but quickly with out any other hand movements, and in doing this he has looked at the victim, back to Valerie, then back to the victim on her left. Either that or the camera as well.

This could be all just nerves as well as one must remember that the internet was still in beginning stages as far as being mainstream as well as cameras everywhere in public spaces was not everywhere and reality shows were not around yet. The general public were not used to being 'on' as they are now. Humans in this society now act very differently compared to what I recall over the years. There is a greater sense of being watched and of having a less expressive body language. People are very unatural now and the young kids today are almost expressionless in thier movements in passing daily. In the old days people on TV would make mistakes constantly and it was simply a reflection of reality. But TV has taken on a creepy perfection to what you see as if there is a zero tolerance for mistakes. Human beings see this over a few decades and are conditioned to reflect that same fear of acting naturally.

But then again being targeted for so long I would not doubt that there could be something to this. I would have to have seen video tracking his movements from the time he became obvious in harassing someone then watching him for the duration to see if it formed a pattern of behavior.
The room is obviously full of intimidation, doubt and bs. Its obvious and I wish I had viewed these before more carefully. It doesn't solve anything but what is good about it even if its a farce is the exposure it provides. That is what is needed, as well as the validation of MK Ultra actually existing, as people still try to make it the stuff of conspiracy theory.

I still cant believe that something of this magnitude went down in a some empty room somewhere with catering tables. Its outrageous. And the committee not having the proper paperwork due to only giving them a week to prepare. WTF?

People were still as a nation very naive back then. It was the time of Gen X starting to come up strong and we thought we were going to perfect and solidify some parts of our parents dream to change the world- but with a more sensible approach and the transition to technology being part of our lives. The people from the 60's are present in much of this and you can tell that they still believed that corruption was welcome to be exposed and fixed. Only after the mid to late 90's did things begin to happen that gave signal to a change in the country that was NOT good, but only when Bush got in did it become obvious that we were f*cked. Only slightly screwed, then as we tried to get rid of this obvious cheat in election, the towers were hit and the curtain just fell on the USA. It was over. And nothing has ever been the same again.

Strangely it seems all related somehow. I think this is why survivors still fight on. Not only due to being targeted still but there is something that they discovered from that extension of Nazi experiments that is obviously in use now somehow on the masses, if not in the way science is going and definitely psychiatry/big pharma. Its not just mind control or programming. Its the ability to alter time itself by altering events through covert influence and beyond. This is the reason why many sensible, alert, sensitive, thinking people have this feeling that we are living in an UNreality. I have heard different people describe it to me as "an UNreality", "an alternate reality", "a parellel universe". There is something to that.

Its mainly the way that things are handled now. Systematic ignoring and apathy give corruption the ability to exist without anyone ever having to be responsible or pay consequences. People have been conditioned to either not care or to understand how competitive the global world is so we must win at any cost with any amount of expendables or causalities.

This allows corruption to become an obvious part of life and the business of living. This has to be done in the minds of higher ups as now that the public have access to the truth about the way thier world is run they would no doubt want it fixed or made right which is unrealistic. What you didnt know didnt hurt you before. Now you know but they have engineered it so it still doesnt hurt you- becuz you have been rendered insensitive. Sensitivity is for losers and would allow terrorists to take over our country. We must be tough- which is the whole lesson of what they have done to the US and other coddled countries since Bush got in. Terrorists and now the economy. You're being conditioned to live harsh realities. Like sending the entire nation to boot camp behavior modification program to 'toughen up' America, so that we wont be spoiled or coddled anymore and can live our lives right! But of course thier motives are like most parents- they dont want anyone knowing about how f*cked up the family is or having to take responsibility for thier crimes against us as well as thier gross abuses of power.

Just like rich kids being sent off the a behavior mod camp. Tell them its thier fault that daddy molested them enough while beating them down and all the hurt and anger will be drained out of them so instead of healing for real or gaining justice for themselves by exposing perpetrators, the family unit is strong and bonded again.

Its called getting yer way by indimidation. This is not the f*ckin military and thats exactly what the American public are being treated to. Straighten up and toughen up! If you want to continue to be lied to and abused then told you need to toughen up cuz globally everyone is cut throat and America is no longer a safe place within its borders then you can accept slavery.

The point is that when Obama says that 'America is a country with HER best years behind HER'we all know it did NOT have to be that way. Its obviously been a long hard road to getting the public to not give a sh*t about anything.

And I notice that living high on the hog has not changed at all in fact an 80's sort of excess is back in style. Hmmm how did that happen?

F*cking picnic tables. YER DEALING WITH THE EXTENSION OF NAZI HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION. I NOTICE THEY NEVER SPARED ANY EXPENSE ON FURNISHINGS. Geesh. Very anti Wagnerian wouldnt you say? Very un-epic. Understated is not the right term..lets see. Ah yes 'cheap' comes to mind.
Which is the whole point. PLAY IT DOWN.

This is what makes the public who do know about this have the attitude that survivors are either dangerous or lost causes. Look how messed up they are from what they have been through as children as well as being gang stalked for life.

And this is what gives the cult sickos connected to this the idea that when one such victim dies in 'heals the whole world'. Like a scape goat the poor thing takes all their sins with them.

Stop these idiots before they take over the whole entire world of the NWO. Carve some space out for the rest of us who are NOT sadistic, selfish, cult minded a-holes.
And if they wont then we have to carve it out ourselves.
Let this resistance never end.

Becuz as long as they can keep all of us subdued, then when the last aging survivor dies they get to close the book on this..ALL of it. Make them pay for the scientific results they gained from suffering.And not be paying people off either.

Systematic Ignoring/ Use your RA backround to survive

My case involves much deception and gaslighting. Its obvious its about programming and a continuation of the human experimentation that my mother was victim to in the radiation experiements. The most annoying thing about this is that people in authority were so full of sh*t. I had two cops in St Louis give me a ride and then start this bs conversation about someone being in trouble and to the effect that they understood or sympathized. This is so typical of the police always trying to bond with the Target or at least me. But the circumstances that they attempt to bond to you under are false. Its a reward con- if you agree with the lies about what the situation is really about then you can be bonded with people who will protect you.

I hate thier misogyny and I hate their obvious lying. Cops must be chipped as well becuz I can read them a mile away. They emote what they dont say or show. Besides the fact that females have survived male aggression whether overt or covert for thousands of years by knowing when all naughty little boys are lying to us. And in that moment that is all they appear as. What are they trying to get away with now? You ask yourself. Becuz its obviously something.

And then there is the whole thing with trying to deceive a female. Note how they have to use terror and fear to scare females before their shoddy deceptive style can take hold in the mind. Note that and keep it in mind always.

There is also the idea that as intellectual entities devoid of gender they are trying to outsmart you. Which of course they need an entire army to do so. Which means its all bullshit.

Systematic ignoring is very effective in getting the TI brainwashed to forget what happened. However they also rub this in as a power game with such comments as those ladies gave the other day in Cambridge "Its over." So I am panhandling and somehow this is a threat to your plans becuz it indicates that you feel I should have moved on by now. I recall how nasty Cambridge was to me in the beginning of all this. It is not forgotten. One old b*tch at thecity hall smirked and said "I cant change the name on that document" due to a mix up with my name and my mothers, but she was referring to me being chased, hunted and targeted. How naive do you have to be to realize that changing yer name or wearing diguises is not going to stop the organized stalking and harassment. These bastards have toys and capabilities that you only see in sci fi movies. I was never naive enough to waste my time hiding. Why should I? Let the system validate hunting me, I am not going to act like I did something wrong when I did not. And as for your blessed FBI let them supeana me like everyone else. Once I tell all of what happened people are going to realize that this was NOT about harassing someone into going into the FBI and confessing what they know. Hitting someone with microwave weapons and using extreme behavioral conditioning methods with psychological warfare sounds like its more about SILENCING a witness not getting one to talk.
White vans (MA) and black helicopters (St Louis, MO) are not FBI that I know of. That is a whole other mess as far as I have read.

So those bitches in Cambridge can take thier menopausal bitterness and thier road map aged faces and go drop dead of estrogen starved induced coronaries. Please do it soon becuz you either know the whole story and are so evil, rotten and spoiled that you deserve to die under horrible circumstances for cheerleading on the side of this much evil, or you are so stupid, typical coddled naive morons from Cambridge that you just think its about some harassment, me being weak enough to fall under a bit of pressure and it was all justified.

So what are the choices left to a society that either went along with this much destruction and damage and human rights violations or were so naive that they didnt understand the seriousness of the circumstances? Systematic ignoring is thier only hope of surviving what they did as a community or society. That or believing the person is mentally insane or delusional. And those are good options really. They completely let most of society off the hook.

Targets have to face that no one is going to believe us readily or want to. No one is going to just come up and sympathize with us or admit what they did.
Also all these wimps are afraid of the big bad monsters that are behind gang stalking. The hard core satanists, the religious reformers, the sadists, the greedy business men, the twisted anti social scientist who views us as nothing more than a lab monkey, the militant racists who will do anything to finally secure power, the other religious factions that do terrorism on factions of people who do not believe as they do-overtly and COVERTLY in society daily and I am talking about religious groups you suspect and those you have become blind to that co exist with us and have for thousands of years.
Lets not forget the rabid sexists that cant wait to be in on something like this when an attractive, vulnerable female is involved. The rich kids who believe genuinely that they are better than you and deserve all even if you are more intelligent, talented or attractive than they. Your fellow poor who hate you becuz you have gifts and carriage, who cant dig thier way out so they have to say of you "She aint no better" just becuz you have self respect, standards and demand of yourself results.

Gang stalking is a free for all for every single demographic that hates whatever or whoever you are. Each demographic will come take a piece out of you.

What happened to me is totally outrageous. And systematic ignoring or labelsing me nuts is the only way to escape the laws in this country that say that I had human rights or civil rights. It will be interesting once the whole thing is told to see the reaction. Some people may repent or realise how f*cked it was but most people will continue to ignore me as well as every other TI. I am not naive enough to have faith in mankind, at least not in this version of the USA nowadays. The public are totally brainwashed and controlled. Its absolutely hopeless.

You better thank the gods for your programming as well as any early cult involvement. I know it sounds strange but how could anyone stand this much evil unless they were associated with it before hand somehow. When yer married to Satan as a baby instead of God in some goofy first communion, it stands to reason that yer dealing with something yer associated with already. That is part of you. This is the way SRA works. I cant quite figure out if its they that protects people like me or they are the ones that come after us at a certain age to use us for sacrifice and its some other faction that stops them. But to withstand this much evil there has got to be a connection. And there are different Satanic factions. The people I started to see and become aware of were more low level LaVey types. This is not quite what I recall from the few early memories I have of RA. These people resemble peasants compared to what I recall being associated with. They also seemed really stupid in comparison. If Aquino is behind military programming of many of us from that era it would make sense as Aquino is not LaVey. He seems a bit more intelligent and vicsous from what little I have seen in interviews.

You have to remember that all of these people are programmed most likely from the get go. There is no blame to be placed on one person or one faction.

To be quite honest the real monsters are the public who get in on these campaigns. Many of them dont seem disturbed by what they do to someone who is innocent. I have seen perps and destroyers like my grandfather, my mother and others. They suffer. They suffer everyday of their lives. The dangerous public, the sheep the cowards- these do not seem to have any care for the things they do to others. Keep that in mind also as you pass through these experiences. Watch and see who seems to pay for what they have done.

For the public to still be hounding me, to still have to taunt or torture me with a bloated sense of pride or casual arrogance shows that they dont suffer or pay for thier part in what has been done. I highly doubt if even after the story is told will they even be a bit effected by the truth or the reality of what has been done.
They live in an insular reality where they are safe as well as they dont have to pay for thier crimes. They are also hopelessly brainwashed. They probably have the whole thing compartmentalized in thier own minds. How can they understand what they have been a part of when they hardly even fathom truly a sense of right and wrong.

As Scarface said in that restaurant scene: 'You need people like me to point yer fingers at... ..yer not good, you just know how to hide'. True enough.


Stuck in Harvard Sq Cambridge and the Matrix has got me

Its getting harder and harder to keep focused on what is really going on here. I find that I am losing control over my perspectives daily. The system here is too powerful.

It is 12:10 am. I find that only as of now am I able to return to my true state of mind concerning the nature of what I know my situation to be. I am not sure if it is the usual stop of activity at around midnight or the fact that some posting I was going to do brought me back to reality. I know one thing. That very low level sexual stimulation along with very VERY subtle perp humiliation almost constantly in public here is working on breaking me down into accepting whatever the sysetem feeds into my head along with that formula serving to traumatize me just enough to accept suggestion of that nature.

Tonight I was becoming convinced that I indeed needed behavior modification over these many years and now it was finally paying off with me becoming normalized and I could forget all the bad things that happened and I could become 'normal'. Conveniently along those lines I would forget all the abuses that were so outrageous and the realization that often in the beginning the goal was to get me to suicide or lock me up, not make me have a better life. I can remember that right NOW as i started writing this but just a half hour ago I still could not think straight. The low level sexual stimulation is too powerful. It is subtle enough but present constantly so that it serves to confuse a person and its impossible to fight. And what I am experiencing around the area in gang stalking has no longer been overt like in the summertime, when obviously they wanted to get me to leave and go back on the road again. Now they have gotten me used to staying here- comfortable. So logically they change tactics. Now its about deprogramming me and decompartmentalizing me as fast as possible and in doing so fill my head with lies about the true motives behind this whole campaign. A daily push very hard to fix and reform me as fast as possible. Still with a constant daily flash of UMass Boston as of course the end result I assume to getting me deprogrammed as fast as possible.

None of this would be possible without damaging and traumatizing the person into forgetting and losing memory of what really happened to them over many years time.

Also its been the goal of this system no matter where I go to force me to start working on the part of my life spent in the adult entertainment industry, not with a therapist mind you, not going over feelings and actually healing- but to force me to admit guilt (where its much more complex than that) and then face that side of my life without any respect at all for my programming or the fact an alter ego was used therefore those memories are not included as part of the real ME. This is why the system seeks to break me down as fast as possible so that can be accomplished without any true healing.

The point of all this is to get the person fixed and better as quickly as possible so that they can be assimulated into society. Which also means that they will not have to disclose any sensitive information about clientele or about persons involved or connected to the industry. Just like everything else this system does its done in the interest of COVERING UP FOR THE CORRUPT SYSTEM OF CRIME within our society. And the public who are in on it will not respect a person like me having needs or being treated fairly (as they did not care when I was active in that industry) if it means risking important clients or career criminals exposure being risked. As far as they are concerned I dont matter, my dreams never mattered and reality doesnt matter. I am probably being considered lucky for just being given a chance at a new life.

It doesnt matter to them if its not real or if its based on lies. If I lose any sense of my original Self in the process. All that matters is protecting rich people and crooked cops. So in the end its still a human sacrifice but its done without blood. The true Self is murdered in the process along with real life memories. And since its covert no one will know.

This means I have to work very quickly on a few things: One is getting it out there exactly what I have experienced in Harvard Sq that is so destructive and manipulative. I keep conveniently 'forgetting' to do such a post. Im so busy being experiencing rape 'lite' by technology (I assume) til approx 12 midnight and in the meantime brainwashed effectively that I forget the real work I have to do.

I also cannot seem to make doctors appointments which is the only reason I am staying in this area. So I assume that is also a ploy to make me stay in Harv Sq area. And I notice that more and more I am coming 'home' to Harvard Sq as opposed to wanting to stay or visit in any other area of metro Boston.

The amount of people who lean into me or hang thier heads is astounding lately. And the inducement of a state of conshussness that is conducive to that being effective brainwashing is impressive. Its definately tech as no psychic could keep up the constant pace. I am slowly losing any sense of True Self I have had. And I cant make the medical appointments so I cant leave.
What gets me is how effective the gang stalking is in this area. Its always been a subtle system and style that is deadly to the target. True with me there is emotional attachment from my past so they have an edge here. I was born here in Cambridge. This is where that nurse was right at the door ready to take me from my mother when I had a fever of 106 and rising on Oct 31 1971. This is where I was in an oxygen tent I assume it was Cambridge Hospital. This is where it all happened. The worst of the memories the beginning of it all.

I assume I am challenging my very existence under thier control when I try to exist here or fight here.

I dont like the fact that they system can take away the very beginning of my life, from really messing with me in my birthplace. This one is going to be hard if I have to walk (or run) away. I can feel something familiar here, something that is mine. Its like that part of me that the got trapped and left at 335 Washington St in Brighton as I had so much activity in that apartment and did not leave peacefully, willing and ready to leave. I was run out by circumstances and had to thow away much of everything I owned in a dumpster out back. I did not psychically pack up and leave, being at peace with it, really ready to leave that location. And I can still feel that part of myself when I go back near there. I know I could have started my life there and made it work. Strangely for some reason Brighton MA is one of those locations, like NYC or Arizona where I feel totally comfortable and completely in contact with all of my talents and abilities. It was also someplace where I could work on my physical health and strength. There are very few places that I function at 100 percent and Brighton was one of them. Interestingly, AZ and NYC are guarded jealously by perps. I am gang stalked so heavily in those locations that I am only able to stay usually a day if that. I often wonder what makes those locations so powerful and positive for me- so in line with my energy being on track in those places, without interference.
I believe Brighton MA is a bit more of a metaphysical gem then is let on by its outward appearances.

So I wonder like an angry ghost.

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Monday, September 20, 2010


"People always hate up..You never think twice about someone below you.It's the people above you that create the envy in you" -Ice T
Labels- Haters

I will never forget something a perp said to me at The Women's Lunch Place years ago. An Asian lesbian who thought I could be taken advantage of in my vulnerable state, of course a Christian who was in on it had a problem with this and tipped me off. She intimated that the gang stalking campaign affected me so much due to the fact that "Well you need everything to be perfect all the time."
You destroy someone's life with total disregard for human or civil rights and almost kill the person, definitely damaging thier health for life, and that is all you can say about it. Its THIER fault. Or an older couple near MIT saying that I was the girl who expected to have everything handed to me on a silver platter. My mother used to say that just becuz her father couldn't abuse me as he had done to her, cuz I have my father's DNA and I told the old man off when he got any smart ideas. So I was 'spoiled'.
And many other things totally blaming the victim for thier situation. And there are so many people in on this who treat it like its ok to do that. That there will be no repercussions. Since they get away with it in thier homes or thier neighborhoods or social groups they perceive a high crime/war crime/ human rights violation as something that no one will see...just like they probably do to thier individual victims in private.
Haters: Organized Stalking and Harassment's got some of the worst.
They make someone they think has no power to fight back pay for everyone above them that makes them insecure.

Another Sunday in Cambridge MA

Another Sunday. No jamming was sensed nor the usual I get around this area that is pure torture lately. I will do a piece on what is used in this area as well as other cities but I am a bit hesitant to do so as its obvious that anything we TI's say can and will be used against us. I suspect at times that the perps are just waiting for many of us to discredit ourselves even further. The beauty of these campaigns going on so long and with the internet now, one can see other target's histories and documentation.

It isnt so easy for the system to just use the same old set ups to dupe targets and get rid of them so easily.

I slept all day which I needed. A lack of sleep just makes being targeted worse.

I notice that on Sundays I can actually relax and sleep during day when during week I often need this as well but simply cannot sleep during the day. It feels like the area is managed so that during weekdays people are more influenced to go about thier work day or business of the day.

As I have posted before one can feel a lack of influence on Sundays. Its as if...............
I started writing and I just felt a change in I went blank. I had my next words all set up and then poof! They were gone. I feel blocked- very common in MA. Recall I had to leave MA in 2006 to another state just to get my lawsuit for the moldly apartment written up. It could not have possibly been completed here. And whatever is used in MA especially the major cities like Camb or Boston is even more streamlined and sophisticated now.

Whoever is behind this does NOT want me writing about how the system is suspected to use remote influence especially on the public. That I have experienced multiple times.

I'll just do my best.

I was going to make some detailed comparison concerning the days that are not holidays during a normal week day work week but I cant remember now what I was going to say exactly. The whole thought has been blocked.

What is used on me during a normal day in the week is really horrible and is something I cannot fight readily. It occurs in most major cities I find myself in and relief is only gotten by going outside the parameters.

It not only keeps a target imprisoned it keeps them diverted as well as serves as a behavior modification tool. I believe its what is responsible for so many people having what is now known as "Truman Show Syndrome". Of course they are probably targeted individuals who are ignorant of that being what is really going on in the big picture.

It occured to me today that if one is honest right now, targets must admit that we now live in a dictatorship or a society that is ruled by covert means. That we live in our worst traditional fears- a Russia or an East Germany. Due to a consumer culture or Capitalist culture being preserved and the public not being overtly repressed no one notices or even balks that much about it. A high quality of life being preserved is what they may feel they are getting out of it so expendables dont matter.

I wish I could make myself sleep during the day on weekdays but whatever it is that affects me monday through saturday (except holidays) drives me to be busy so that I cant really think or rest properly. It doesnt even stop at night- only at approx midnight. Sunday is the only day outside of holidays that I get any true relief or rest.

And its gotten worse since schools went back in session. It is almost impossible to fight the system that holds me captive during the 'on' days and hours. Its literally impossible to fight such a system. I would need to get out of the city parameters or leave the state completely which I cant do right now. And it is mental torture. The system that is used I find is typical of eastern MA.

Lately I am finding it harder to fight and to keep focused on me wrting my book as all important. More depressed lately than is healthy. Its a way of trying to get me out of Harvard Sq I can tell. But I cant leave yet no matter how much this area tortures me.

Also feeling very conditioned to feel bad from my surroundings or the rich kids that make up Harvard Sq. Feeling very uncomfortable lately and I beleive this is on purpose. Getting side tracked too much.

On Sunday due to not being swept up into the system I crash most likely due to feeling as tired as I truly am. There is something about the remote influence when its active and a target is swept up in it that drives you, and makes it so you can perform under harsh circumstances. Of course then you arent fully thinking and all yer energy gets diverted from what you truly want to be doing or even things you keep trying to get done but cant think striaght. All on a timed schedule. From 6am to 12 midnight Mon -Sat in the Metro Boston area.

Hurray for the NWO.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Wallet Paranoia tactic/ targets are intimated as pick pockets

The latest tactic is perps grabbing their wallets in their back or front pockets while either looking at me nervously like I am scary or out of place or sitting next to them on the train or walking in front of me. Men, women both. Oddly many of these perps are either Asian or look South American/Mexican.

Today it occurred to me when I caught one of them after he pulled that tactic the last glance I caught of him walking away told me he was full of sh*t. So I began thinking logically and realized that whatever country in South America he was from had people walking around it that were way more scarier or threatening than me.

What was interesting to note on psych warfare was that it would aggravate me and I wouldnt think logically about the situation.
This is the very meaning of cult mind control. It causes a human being to not be able to think logically, it jams sensiblity.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Harassment by fire dept again

In tent its raining. My roadog left for a little while. They showed up with sirens right outside squat. Then they put on this act that it was at the boat house instead was thier true destination. It was so obviously bullshit. And due to their presence being disruptive to me becuz for years they were part of overt harassment in this city and others, I screwed up a post I was working on. So they got thier job done I guess.

But in as many battles as they win they will never win the war. You will not protect the local elements that need to be exposed. You can show up on bullshit calls and have planes fly low overhead all you want or helicopters or whatever. You cannot stop what has been started. YOU messed with TI's across the country during Bush like you had it like that for life. People are not being scared into compliance anymore and cowboy attitutdes are no longer popular. People are starting to see you and your other union buddies as agents for oppression from the state and organized crime. The public are now becoming hip to the corruption that every criminal and cop knows exists. You went to far during Bush and there will be payment due at some point.

The destruction of my life and wasting of my time for years on end will NOT be in vain. Fuck you and fuck the system.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Persons connected to MK Ultra and RA practices in other countries

MKULTRA: Government Mind Control Experiments, Part 9
Using Cults as Covers:

Anti Semitisim and racism: Norway 1999-2000:
"Norwegian neo-Nazis have met with some success in recruiting Satanists to their ranks. Satanist fanzines print ads for Nazi publications and the latter print interviews and articles of Satanists."
( I am only using this piece for the purposes of my own work such as connected to MK Ultra and related subjects. I have no opinion on racist nor anti Semitic or anti Muslim sentiment in any country outside my own. This article is provided to link Nazi sympathies with Satanism, and above with persons connected to RA, Nazi human experimentation and black ops, military psych warfare projects here in the USA.)

Does Norway Engage in International Espionage?
(Interesting about the casual mentioning of CIA poisoning leaders for assassination. But hey- 'that was another era and a whole different agency' as they now claim. I didnt realize that if other countries have 'deep operations' in Africa then how many other countries have 'deep operations' here in the USA? Just a side note.)
CIA prison-plane observed in Stavanger, Norway
Dead way before death strikes you.
In hell way before the flames eat you.
Stripped from joy, stripped from life.
Embraced by nothing... only death!/
What pleasures life may grant you.
It will be robbed from you.
What misery life brings you,
It will always stay with you./
The reaper probes the earth.
Collect's and count's the dead.
Sending us all to hell as fuel for the flames./
And as the quire roar's its tunes.
And death ride's out.
Harmony and peace
finally soothe your heart and soul./
Endless mayhem
Infernal riot.
Morbid feast
Satanic black metal in hell./
Infernal soldiers demonized.
Fucked up (???????) sodomized. (angels?)
Face of the earth dechristianized.
The universe satanized./