And as far as my finances go...you have no idea what it takes to live in this situation and try to budget money. Its not normal circumstances. And also when you get money at a certain time the perps lean on targets so they will spend and be at a disadvantage once again. Its true this really has happened. It especially occurs in Boston/Cambridge and places like SoCal. Very 'money=happiness' kinds of places usually have this timed tactic but then thats the whole US anyway.

I got another validation today. A man in Harv Sq earlier was talking about gang activity. He started to tell me where each gang had a stronghold and sure enough "Most of the Bloods are in Central Sq" and down "that way". Once again I am validated. Cryps never seemed to bother me. I never once saw anyone wearing blue give me a hard time. Only red t-shirts and white t's and that was St Louis. That guy who got killed by this system....I mean died of an accidental overdose who got too close to me as well as started to validate certain very covert aspects of the psy ops, Tony, had family in the Bloods and his friend told me he thought all that sort of lifestyle was "the sh*t".

I sat down to avoid anymore stupid looks here in Central Sq today. I just wanted to not walk down the street and see if I could screw up thier timing. That works alot when you don't take the predicted action they seem to work off of.

I sat in a random place, then I felt someone looking at me and being a bit concerned. I then looked over and realized that the Middle East rock club is right across from me. They are all so clueless arent they? They either believe
-its over
-shes mentally ill or they drove her to it
-shes a danger as she is back to get revenge

They just dont get it. That this is not over and a book has to be written that fills in the blanks for all the morons who think 'its over'. I bet they dont even know what happened to me or how bad this was. They all are so protected by being able to live in 'the real world' and not isolated like I am being, that they have no perception of what this is like.

No one is going to believe me now or in near future. I know that the people that destroyed my life or chances for a future here will never be caught, will never have to pay for what they did. But in the future, when people are more associated with emerging technologies and the fusing of humans and tech, people will see that the human mind can be programmed like a computer under the right conditions.

Wondering who is in that club that is so concerned just brought back memories of how bad this was, how many people conspired who are rich, connected to each other- what a plot of evil design it was, how outrageous and illegal. And I keep feeling that I have been shunned, thrown away, ditched and they have no concept of my existence. I think about how much my face has aged, my health has been destroyed. And how in the end, its going to be just as perps have dictated as the end result has all been projected already: "You will become a contreversial writer". Its a bit depressing when the system that takes your life away then tells you what the outcome is going to be. No pay off, no restitution, no revenge. Just them, in control for the rest of the target's life and no one can do anything about it.

People have to understand these are hardcore professionals. I realized later that I had what they would consider secrets that the public should not know..in thier eyes I have to be discredited. All that is being done is to do damage control. Someone, like local cops and their rich asshole friends must have screwed up and triggered some programming or something or tried to destroy me only to realize that I wasnt just stupid and had an eccentric private life- I was a programmed mind controlled slave and I was capable of the directive to kill anyone who was a threat to 'the mission' or internal programming structures. That if I had not the control I did and the people handling this didnt have the experience and foresight to control the situation and fix what had been messed with- there is a very good chance that I could have done some great physical damage...IF the wrong programming sequence was triggered and for some reason I lost control. With my internal systems I would have killed myself before killing innocents..but when people attack you the way it was done they are not innocent. But part of me always knew that they would have to be really stupid (innocent) to set things up the way they did and try to pull what they did on me. There are many things I could have done, and I feel at times that the system, being a very dark reality, would have allowed me a few 'kills' to even up the score fairly. However I knew that its what they may have been trying to drive me to, due to wanting to frame me as a violent person and end my life or freedom in society on that note as well as more taking my soul by driving me to kill others. While in my own personality anyway. NO survivor of mind control slavery and programming can tell you for sure if they have killed in any other conshusness. I dont want to know really.

What the perps wanted was not to use me covertly but to have me do something that the regular authorities would catch overtly and off to jail I go. The control that I showed deserves a metal in itself.

All these poor dolts probably still think about the cover story. They think I am some poor dumb female who was poor and got caught up in an investigation where rich kids tried to frame me and my old associates tried to get rid of me. I was told to my face by an informant that I was "inconvenient" and when I look at the people around me its probably a number of people working together.

The best piece leaked info was a woman trying to intimate that lawyers as well as the people involved who knew me went into a room and basically plotted my demise (her words were "plot against you". Something about lawyers should be doing thier jobs not going into a locked room and "plotting against you". One day I want to know if that is really true. I am going to laugh my ass off. They are so f*ckin stupid.

Wanna know why? Becuz I wouldnt have been so vulnerable nor easy to go after had I not been experiencing fallout from being programmed. Its a laugh to think they just thought I was really crazy or THAT stupid or feeble minded. If that were so why would I not have been destroyed long before then? Or exploited. Do you honestly believe that miss J had THAT much power? Hmph. From what I have seen, little miss fat and blonde is programmed her damn self. Daddy worked for the CIA part time and she hates Halloween becuz she is terrified of people in masks. She's got all the -isms.
What I think occured is that she wont break from the system so she's a good little asset as well as she is far more valuable than I. She really serves a purpose thats for sure. So this happens in the world of covert activity alot. To set up one asset of lesser value to protect another much more valuable one. Its more than organized crime that protects that chick I'll tell you that much- its so obvious.
Like my mother she will never have the strength to tell the system bye bye and f*ck off I dont want this for myself anymore. She just wont. Pehaps her nature is more evil than mine. Besides she is a bona fide career criminal. I was just very useful for a few years. Big difference.

So the morons around here seem to think they won, its over, I am gone and need to move on, forget about what happened, realize that the system will never pay for its crimes, that I will never get any justice.

What was done essentially was to either test new systems of technology or to see if MK Ultra really can break down programmed persons and become a very useful behavior modification tool to essentially get rid of assets or agents or other mind controlled persons..not so much the fear of suicide bombers like they claim but to silence people who due to activism like this, discover thier situations, survive suicide programming and then start wanting answers and telling thier stories. THEY DONT WANT THAT above everything else this is about covering thier asses as usual. If the public realized that most covert warfare was done by programmed slaves and the abuse that it takes to control such people there would be public outcry if people really understood mind control slavery as well as its connection to pedophile rings and activity- which is probably thier number one fear of all.
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You have no idea what it takes, as I am realizing, to bring you the level of quality of life one has in the USA. The crimes that are committed are outrageous. And I can understand the way of doing things as if the USA didnt bully others on behalf of itself and its 'friends' then someone else would.

raining heavy. tarp not working so well now. at least i know that the lazy perps are prob gone now.
cowards.