being blacklisted

I have been around the country, experienced all kinds of gangstalking styles and they do indeed vary be region. I was told by perps in Manchester CT outright that I was blacklisted...gee as if I couldnt have guessed. I stayed in a shelter there. The whole community of homeless are all in trouble, there is a huger group that occupied the shelter, the woman managing it was a perp. The locals who lived near by were colorful and interesting but everyone knew my story. There is one annoying old guy who lives there, he is sometimes known as santa becuz of his white beard and fat stomach. He is a character however and when he is not trying to coax a woman upstairs to his place he can be very amusing by standing by his front stairs recounting stories of how he used to do martial arts Murder Inc type work for 'the wiseguys'....whether true or not is unimportant. I doubt he could've told me anything important except for the cover story. So if he says i am blacklisted he is a cover story supporter even if he knows the mc survivor story or not.

I wonder often how much each faction knows, really. I seem to know more than split factions becuz i have talked to all sides and put all the info they know together. Plus, i know what is in my own memory, whats left of it.

BUt sometimes I fear that the reason the gangstalking is so bad and people act like they dont care about the crime of slavery thru mind control is perhaps becuz programmed people may not remember certain events and maybe the only people who do not know about mind control slavery is the enslaved themselves. How horrible would it be to wake up and realize only you did not know what is going on and everyone else does.

I have no idea how much the general public really know about all this. They certainly seem to not care at all. I have seen enough nationwide and thru talking other allegedly targeted persons
to know that alot of people are in on the organized stalking...whether this is always an extension of psy ops or just the civilian factions I do not know. The tactics that are similar.
So why should people sympathize if they are benefitting?
It could just be a case of if it isnt happening to them, its not thier problem. Also, the authority figure has not made mind control real for the public yet.

Yes, as usual, the public especially in NATO 'free' countries need the authority figure to validate the existence of things plain in front of their faces for them. In the USA you could instill the public perception that the sun does not exist.....many conspiracy theorists will investigate the possible existence of this elusive firey ball of gas but what real proof do they have! The public would all know they were just cranks, damn it...though a portion of the population would stare up in the sky during a bright day and 'see' the sun, but only momentarily believe it.
Perhaps with enough exposure of the viewpoint that this bright ball of gas actually exists in our skies, the general public would begin to look out to the atmosphere and accept with much reservation, that what they see plainly in front of thier faces is actually there. Always suspect however...just a little suspect.

We can plainly see this with the environmental issues . Only recently did the issue become really 'real ' to the public. For 40 years or so concerned people and scientists (who's job it is to know more than the general public) have been trying to voice on these issues and only in the '90s did it seem to really take.
I talked to someone recently who's moving with a medical business to a new location. One of the things she mentioned was to .."green it up a little" in reference plans for the newly built location.

People still arent getting this...hasnt anybody noticed how uncomfortable it seems when the sun is out during the day? maybe its just for those of us who are targeted. I feel I am hit way harder during any sun or heat and it seems to ease when dusk comes...of course for me it stops at 12 midnight and begins at 6 am every morning.
I noticed when it snowed in MO one day , alot of snow for them that it was like I wasnt targeted that day at all.

I have an idea that whatever is being used has trouble functioning through snowy weather or very stormy rainy weather, like thunderstorms.
Its very bad in area where thier is alot of sun and heat, which unfortunately becuz of mold exposure I usually need for my health to be maximized.

Any way people just do not feel they need to be concerned about something like mind control if it isnt an issue for them or if it isnt validated as reality by the establishment. Often people who matter die of cancer...people who are expendable are targeted. Perhaps that is why no one cares.
I assume every one agrees with the decision for the targeted person to suffer indignity or commit suicide.

The tech targeting lately consists of alot of low level sexual stimulation, like on a loop, cyclical.
It make me very unhappy but it seems to work for suggestion. Lately its very strong suggestion to commit myself and say I imagined everything from the ex being a dealer and a jerk to the mold exposure and apologizing to Olnck, even wanting to pay them back from the sign out of court (i was forced into of course by the most intense gangstalking period to date. Its fun to be sued by a mc survivor isnt it? we are already targeted and its almost immposible for us to 'tell' what really transpired. Actually I believe the mold was on purpose...with out suing the a-holes would've tried to say my memory loss and behavior while living there was mental illness, which perps tried to suggest anyway..suing was the best thing i ever did. Remember, my targeting is intergenerational and they reallllyy want to make it look like its genetic mental illness. unfortunately, this isnt the fuckin '60s anymore and cover ups are alot harder to pull of than they used to be. Whats interesting about nowadays is that the public ARE informed and knowledgable but choose to ignore facts, which is making our world more dangerous than ever[if you enjoy freedom] becuz it proves people in this country can be strong armed and intimidated jsut as easily as any other country now or in history.....
what an intersting experiement.. to give the public an source for information so they can really no longer say they did not know about a subject then impose fear and intimidation, jsut to see if they will cave in or fight.
Its really not the fault of the people. The situation we are in now started with alot of factors introdued over many years which i wont get into, but i can see as plainly as any one else... raising the cost of everything so high, instilling people with irresistable want and a vicious greed/keep up with the Jones or any one else for that matter, making alot of things much more inaccessable or difficult than they used to be and cutting benefits and retirement at people's jobs as well as job security.
The changes made during my life time in the last 30 years or so are insane. People are going to go insane...then if they react in a healthy way by being depressed or angry they need psych meds.. Also introduce so much info on the net that they become overwhelmed especially with all the ads and the pop ups and bullshit-
you have a society that has been set up for ultimate stress out and the population turns off and numbs itself and I cannot blame them. I really cant.
I chose to chase truths thru my life and investigate first myself and then when i awoke from programming, the world around me, which i see more clearly at times than others only becuz i did not see it at all for years BECUZ of my programming. i had not internalized alot of things society uses to control adults. Also, i was not supposed to live past a certain age so i only did as programmed. I never had children or got married or bought a home. I have more time to investigate things and nothing really to lose except my life which as someone with internal programming losing ones life isnt really important anyway.

its sad most people think i was a self obsessed loner. its what the jerks targeting me wanted and itll stick. when yer waking up from programming alot of things happen, alot of other survivors were lucky they seemed to have resources or found people to help them. The only thing i had was my intel and my intuition but they got me good and their timing was prophetic. I have been defined by others and i am sure in a society looking for targets and opportunities to judge people i will not last very long and the outcome of being a high profile hate object is an expected one.

I have fared better than most of my economic level and education level but inner resources will only have me survive for so long.
the fact everyone is ignoring the injustices that were done to me is killing me slowly(on top of everything else they do to you) and the actions of me trying to go to school and get help thru therapists at that period of time i was in my Brighton apartment.....i was waking from programming and it was my last chance to make anything out of my life. The assholes knew that and they slammed me. I refuse to try to rebuild or make my life over again.
Why should I ? After the complete raliroad job they did to me?
But what is the price of one half crazed female loner with a sordid past and no one wants her around anymore amyway, not her family, her ex her former associates who are all criminals anywy?
She knows too much. And of course, all you hav eto do with me is target me and i will talk wayyyy to mcuh, then you black mail every one i 'embarassed' becuz u put cameras in my apartment for jsut that purpose, then, like with all wonderful gangstalking campaigns you have a web or network of victims you can play agaisnt the original target-you make bank, you keep the Targets friends and associates under control lest they try to assist or save her from her fate and
best of all you have MORE perps who want rid of her now.

Arent they efficient? you have to wonder just how long this sort of thing has been going on. it seems like the work of sophiticated, experienced criminals thats for sure. Max damage min evidence, exposure is used exploit target further,perceptions are easily managed, money is squeezed out of other targeted persons involved who also serve as support after being turned....no waste, no muss.
I had people trying to warn me about hte building but it was to late.. giving me a multi page packet in something slightly related to housing, heavily cincentrating on the cell phone repeaters on top of the building...
ok, i get it, all Targets at this point get it. I have stayed at other places that are for purpose of low income , like old hotels and the repeaters there are also used to target people.
Its horrible and it isnt sci fi its happening now.
I suggest moving into a f*cking Faraday cage in a building with concrete and steel and no cell phone reception--and no perp or stupid neighbors with signal enhancers either.
Recently I read a target blogging that it doesnt do any good with other types of 'non-lethal' weapons.

So i can only assume from what i just wrote that anyone targeted is fucking dead and alot of the population knows about it and do not care for a nuber of reasons.
I highly doubt they will ever step up and do anything about this issue.

I think they probly believe that if you are being hit at this level that you are indeed a danger or truly undesirable and you probably should go.

Its easy to get rid of me, i had nothing to begin with but obviously i had alot that was important to someone becuz its very important to get rid of me.

It wont be much longer....i really am very unhappy and i look awful. The growing up process i was involved in after waking up from programming was interupted and it will stay interupted.

As long as no one acknowledges the interference with my affairs or the interuption of my deprogramming process as real or valid I will continue, on a loop, to be interupted.
The behavior modification program i am obviously in is incrdibly shame based and is seeking a complete submission from me. It keeps idealizing surrender, submission, docility, humility based on humiliation not true healthy humblness, non aggression, weakness not strenghth, ideal gentle care taking femininity not goddess/warrior/artist/advocate for suffering peoples....it idealizes, with perps intimations as well sex with only one male preferably a husband who will
'handle'me, sex only as often as the man asks for and only when the male initiates--a total lack of female aggression or even assertiveness.
The perps have helped with suggestion over many years concerning these issues. I have been perped repeatedly with insulting references and intimatioins concerning my aggression (whilst perhaps i was only being tenacious or assertive) , my (former) healthy high sex drive, my natural athleticism, my drive, my warlikeness... in general my much more natural urge to behave like a normal European woman and not an American one.
Considering all my ancestors came over on the Third wave of immigration the way I am does not suprise me at all nor should it suprise any one else.

Yet when you are trying to handle someone who you formerly had under control...
yes, now i see. All these qualities are great when under somone elses control....to serve others these traits are wonderful, but under the will of a pissed of wronged female i can see how they would be most undesirable.

By the way, if you dont want to get blackmailed i highly suggest you cut off the balls of bullshit just LIKE project chatter...dont let them target people who know to much and conveniently stick cameras in thier apartments to catch it all for thier greedy purposes ...oh, and if you are going to go along with being intimidated you might just want to not be cliche and shoot the messenger-
yet unfortunately that might be one of the conditions you have to agree to to make it out of the situation alive...
Getting rid of old mc survivors whilst marketing it to the desperate, intimidated, greedy masses for fun and amusment 101.

Get a clue. Not everything is Amrican Idol, sometimes people just want to sing to themselves for themselves.. And not everything is a reality show either. Some people actually have rich inner lives-especially when thier is a crisis in the life of a human, the imagination can serve as a great healer of the mind and body.
But how would YOU the public know any of this--you are so fuckin dark, you are so black inside, you are so enslaved. You actually do not realize what is healthy for you and what is not based on your own judgement.
And how did this become MY f*kin problem? The public are so spoilt nowadays with being handed human sacrifices tho keep them amused (diverted) that they think anyone is fair game.
They dont realize that there is a network of really bad people out there who want to get rid of people like me who were waking up and had the luxury of realizing there is a world out there that needs help. My attitude was always that if i am so damn smart i have an obligation to help others.
I have talked to old timer targets. I am told the people in this system of oppression i just mentioned do not want people who will help humanity or geniunely love thier fellow man.
they want to be rid of people like us and make sure all our lofty ideals are destroyed before we can make reality out of them.

Perhaps this was the purpose of the slackers. My generation figured doing nothing might be the best form of rebellion if one is not sure of what WILL work.
Now i realize that waiting until now was the best option, but of course the jerks are right there, waiting for you the minute you get going.
I bet they have been especially watching gen-x straglers who havent sold out for years now. Its easy to get people who were raised on June and Ward Cleaver to eventually revert to that in old age-especailly after a nice dose of disillusion, but its a hell of a lot harder to get rid of kids who were raised to question authority from infancy. Who were told not to be ashamed thier bodies, to express themselves freely. Even after we make negotiations with the adult world in our own adulthood etc, the basis of belief is still unwavering-unless you are like those awful sorts i have seen who go the opposite way completely for whatever thier reasons.

I was listening to an 80's song yesterday on you tube....someone had urged i listen but their cd was busted. i noticed as i observed alone that it was comforting. it was a heavily tech dependant track...
Tron, alot of 80's music.. technology befriending mankind not used to enslave him.
Thats how it was in the past. Computer tech was experienced as comforting and even healing becuz in my perception it was in a form in harmony with mankind as the result would be if man were in harmony with the more harmless, pleasant aspects of the natural world.
Tech now is being used to stress humans out; to enslave people. Even techno has grown into a force that became more agressive and now it permeates thru the sorld of music as a hypnotic enslaving sound, replacing natural human rythms.
I no longer experience tech as a helper but as an enslaver. i beleive alot of humanity would agree with me. But i am 37, i remember things as they were.
as usual, young people adapt and grow...i do not know what they are expereicing through the new way technology 'behaves' in societies across the world.

I really feel that people in general are out of touch with how much pain they are in and are experiencing overload and this is always good for enlsaving people.

what went on in my lifef, what the assholes did to me is no mystery to me...it jsut isnt important, teh big picture is important.

unfortunatley i am not going to make it. its too much, knowing how much i have lost including my future, but this is what they plan for you when you are born into these families.
The attitude from perps is things like "u can take it" "its not hurting you" "yer strong" "it coulve been worse" and generally that i have no rights anyway. they especialy love to bring up a lack of power and money also as good reason for me being in this position
gee, maybe i should have just obeyed my suicide programming...that was free to me via my internal programming and it only took the power of alifetimes worth of pain to make it happen which i certainly had agreat reserve of.
And i would not be here now, suffering......
see how you can tell they are shaming you and they are so wrong adn full of shit?
I was supposed to anyway, (duh) and your nasty organized stalking/psy ops network has been pushing in this direction since 1996 in a fairly overt manner anyway, so it doesnt matter how i 'go' as long as i 'go'.