Programmed people are not 'crazy' though its popular to have try and get rid of us that way.
It seems that the programmed person is on the chart centrally located between the overlapping diagnoses of schizophrenia, manic depressive, and psychotic.
Thats just a few of the things they try to cover up what is really going on with these poor victims of mind control. Dont believe the human brain is capable of such things? Go read another blog.
Anyway, its trauma based and thier is MPD /DID involved. I know the new psychiatry has gotten rid of MPD and just calls it DID but I have read up on the new world of psychiatry and its frighteningly based on heredity and they seem obssesed with DNA.
I do not consider psychiatry valid, not becuz I am crazy and am trying to wriggle out of anything but becuz I was so mistreated in an outrageous manner in part by this profession and also my own family that it strikes me as illogical that I am simply disordered in some way or that the problem is all with me. The very cruel way I was treated with out care or consideration nor valid investigation into my situation tells me...somethin's up.
When people are trying to hide something they do desperate things and thier energy and actions make that desperation evident.
Well, MPD isnt really a disorder if you have caused it on purpose then is it? This seems to be what most survivors use to describe altered states where they did things but do not remember the events. Unless someone were to point out to you or show u evidence of yourself in an altered state, you the person 'switching' would not remember it thus may not know you have 'MPD'.
DID is what I will use to describe the ability to disassociate. An alter ego is a good example of this. Performers in entertainment often feel that its another personality who is on stage or performs. Sadly, the real self is often undeveloped. I used to use this to work even though I was fully aware of what had transpired...I could actually say the alter ego, with a different name spelling, took part in those actions. Sometimes memories from this state may be from outside the body, 'out of body' experience sort of. Some survivors recall 'out of body' at a very eary age.
If you are heavily gangstalked and terrorized you may find yourself dissociating out of body momentarily if its especially frightneing. Try to stay focused and move to a new location..perhaps keep moving. You may find some locations more uh, Satanic in nature and actions lets say then others.
Why do some policemen stalk targets in thier cars and thier energy is something evil and inhuman and other officers look like they feel guilty as hell and dont want to be doing this to you? I have simply given up trying to figure out who these players are exactly. Just make it simple and give into the old fashoined, albeit childish idea that there is good and evil in the world and thats it. It will quiet your anxieties for now becuz if you have a curious mind, unless you can drag the guy out of his car, strap him to a couch and demand he take tests to prove he is human then proceed to be forced to tell you why he hates women so much and what did his mother/ ex wife / first girl friend/ sister etc do to him exactly to make him A) want to do this to people B) have such compellingly evil energy with which to do this to people especially females (whew) you are not going to ever ever find out who these people are and why they do what they do.
After dealing with 2 ex boyfriend s who were stalkers , one harmless one not so harmless, i can tell u one thing about these people..they are fucked up, enjoy a sick sense of power, need a target to obsess over to feel secure and like to hide or get off on the fact you will never catch them or know who they are. Take heart..in the future thier services will no longer be needed and they will be hunted and wiped out as something society can no longer afford-but for now unfortunatly, they rule targets lives with thier innate sickness which they force us to deal with against our wishes.
Some programmed persons have a propensity towards fantasy addiction. Often thier is other addictive behavior as well. Programmed persons are long suffering people who come up with lots of coping skills to deal with trauma past and present. Interestingly, when I was making my life plan (when i was so rudely interrupted) I was actually planning for future traumas as well.
Example: I knew I was going to lose my looks becuz we all age. Since I had made a conscious decision to live by fighting suicide programming, I had a healthy urge to plan for my future.
I figured if I transfered all my focus on becoming powerful getting good at doing something that had nothing to do with looks, then I would have an easy transition of power....my newfound power in society would be about what I did not how I looked so I need not be concerned any more with how I looked. Let my face fall, who cares? I d seen too many older women trying to focus on the past and becoming bitter and I did not want that. I knew what was coming and I prepared for that expereince. Of course the system of oppression I am under does not want the beauty of true order nor for me to be happy, so I am aged and haggard looking with no new place to focus my power..in fact my power is gone. A trauma I was not preparered for.
I know someone who is helpful to me but at times unkind. This person has focused on the image of the narcicist getting stuck in the mirror. Do not let people punish you for odd habits they misconstru becuz of programming. Non programmed people are like a different species of person and have no right to judge us by thier standards and if you are targeted u will not get the help you need from psychologists who are perfectly well in the know about what you are and what you need as far as guidance. The jerks who are targeting you will use public ignorance to the max benefit. IGNORE THIS COMPLETELY FOR IT IS INVALID.
It is a ghosting..in other words it really has no place in any equation or deduction of what is going on internally. It is a factor for what is going on outside not your internal world. People will hurt you as a way of getting into your internal world(s) to destroy programming and especailly memories/files is what they are out to destroy.
One such strange habit is that programmed people get stuck in mirrors or like mirrors all over thier homes. Thier is nothing wrong with this and its nothing to be ashamed of. Was Narcissus programmed? Is anyone using that term even smart enough to have read the fable it comes from? or even be smart enough to know most ancient myths were used allegorically to train men to think out in the world as they grew? Is narcissism just another psych theory? Yes.
Survivors often like mirrors becuz then they know what they look like, or feel they exist in the physical realm. Perhaps they keep trying to break programming by looking at themselves or as an aid during breaking programming. When the face you have been looking at for years robotically has life in it or the promise of a life, one can become very curious.
Especially if you have fought suicide programming which basically told you 'its time to go' simply becuz you had a few imperfections on your face and you no longer looked like you were in your 20's....even if you look in your 20's in your 30' s its not good enough for the original programmers. You are supposed to be perfect all the time. You have to win and kick ass all the time in stellettos. If you even consider cultivating your real self, they will come after you.
Their is nothing wrong with falling in love with yourself after years of self hatred and self abuse. Enjoy it and try to cultivate self love of all other parts of you. you will need this self affection if they come after you when you are waking up. Alot of women with sexual programming are very pretty but have that ugly on the inside thing going on becuz of the way you have been programmed to treat themselves.
The greatest trick men ever pulled off to control women is to have them hate themselves internally...stupid. Dont be stupid anymore and take back your personality and your face and your life..they are YOURS arent they? Own them.
Also, alot of internal programming has mirrors in it. Perhaps mirrors create a sense of safety or security for the survivor becuz of how frighteningly alone we are.
At any rate you are most likely not simply vain, its most likely you are trying to find out who you are and on some levels what you are and you are curious.
Sometimes , when programmed people are younger looking in mirrors can be frightening. Thier has been so much deception and to be honest you ARE deception even to yourself so looking in a mirror might simply provide confusion. I used to think it seemed like being in a fish tank..I knew there was more outside this but I was stuck inside only allowed to see so far out...
It sucked. It sucked and it was a waste of a life, being held like a f*cking captive.
As long as you hang on and try to wake up you can do no wrong. The perps will try to convince you everything you do is wrong and everything you have done is worse. Do not listen to them.
Unfortunatly i have to go to my stupid hotel room i do not wish to go to and have been trying to avoid for the last few hours anyway. I'll finish this later.