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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
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Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Still in San Diego, the targeting now and my state of mind

I stay in San Diego becuz I am tired. I get harassed so readily wherever else I go its at least a nice rest for that part of me that is getting burned out on human in person harassment.

Like I said I dont know why San Diego doesnt have alot of in person harassment. Its most likely due to the fact that the tech here is so powerful and efficient, and the population so self absorbed and trained to reject bohemia or the poor, that its the absolute perfect holding area for targeted individuals who will just be regarded as 'The Homeless' or 'The Mentally Ill'.

Its also a time to view reality. Unfortunately, this view is one that is very depressing and calls for me to give up and face the fact that I have been kept down and deprived of my life and no one is going to do anything about it and that my situation will never change.
What is interesting about this point of view is that formely I understood this but really didnt care. I was fully prepared to write my story for other TI's and for purposes of revenge, then take my own life in ritual suicide through fire in the desert. The pain and suffering of this reality of my life not being respected or me not having a future never phased me due to that not being my main concern. My main concern was writing my story.

What is intersting is that the tech here is so powerful and whatever else is used to influence, that I myself am in denial about how much it affects me...daily.
I am getting sick, my body weakening from not being on the road and I am obviously taking my chances by hanging around this shelter as it is obviously targeted in both the night and day shelters.
But daily I insist on pitting myself against their system. Mostly becuz I need the rest from being harassed with tactics in person. There are avenues that open up that are blocked once that kind of psychological warfare starts in earnest. I am now so conditioned and brain damaged that I could not possible function in some ways that I can when I am not harassed by in person harassers/stalkers.
I was fully prepared for this to be terminal. It seems that the perps are betting on that and so what is the difference?

It seems that they want to not kill me but control outcomes. Me suiciding is definately desirable..but only if I do not write an expose first. Me going back into the adult entertainment industry is also a major goal it seems..this is also desirable as a means of diversion from writing the book or story.
Another outcome that I have not experienced much of before is what I am experiencing now much of my stay lately in San Diego especially around that shelter. It almost feels like a burning..its constant low level psychological torture and its purpose is to add to making me lose my mind to insanity..but also there seems to be a desire to make me realize that I need to 'know my place' in this world, that I will never be left alone, never be allowed to flourish, that this is my life now and that I am of the status and value that the gang stalking system has set for me via ruining my life and destroying my future.

This is supposed to be thier version of a 'reality check'. What it leaves out of course, and this is how one can tell its REMOTE INFLUENCE not real reality, is that it leaves out all the injustice that has gotten me to this point. That this is not the way my life would have gone had a large network of people interfered and ruined my looks, my health and my future. This is not all that I was capable of.
What the system wants here in San Diego is to burn a brand into me it feels like, of this status that has been thrust upon me by the system. They actually have the audacity here to challenge my creativity..Now THAT is something new. Yet this is very smart on thier part as my inner vision and knowledge of truth is what I run on, and a ledger of who did what and who owes who: Balance.
The system here wants me to internalize the reality that is to be if only I give up what I know to be true and what I know I am owed. What this city is asking is that I disregard all injustice in the interest of popular opinion and what power has gained.

Being from Boston this is totally foriegn to me. Why do you think that there is so much crime in the northeast? Becuz they have a very strict sense of justice. That city knows damn well what they are doing, up against the forefathers, the Constitution, the Revolution, the Catholic Church, the ancient Jewish faith, and even left over Native American sensibilities. And in the back drop acting as a spine or body to keep this spirit intact are the institutions like Harvard, the hospitals, and many other acedamic and medical institutions. Ferikan is from Boston. The black community there is as crooked as any other ethnic community and also has alot of political power as well. What did I miss? Alot probably.
Why do you think they need to either step sooo carefully when they DO commit crime or they have a 'thats the way this city is whatcha gonna do about it' policy, more in relation to organized crime as part of the power structure.
THIS damn city is lying, cheating and full of sh*t like any other city in the USA or the world for that matter but they have the balls to demand some exclusive right to 'reality'. I understand that NBC is down the street, the military have thier place here and theire are major banking companies here as well...so which one of you f*ckers are the ones challenging sense of justice that is from the northeast and alot older than your pathetic earth quake fault, destruction waiting to happen teenage city? How old is this place again? Excuse me?? What like a hundred or so years? 1800 something. Big f*ckin deal.

These jerks come out here, shoot it out with gay cowboy bs and some whores running around, until the 'settling factors' show up like priests and wives then the Chinese and the Jews make thier way out of hiding in the history books backround like they always do, and everyone starts to take thier piece of the city's formation. Then as time goes on buildings come up and its defined who has power here and who owns what. Over time it changes...its Mexican, very 'white' Jews here, some Anglo's and a bunch of transplants from 'Somewhere else'.
Big f*ckin deal. You dont dictate sh*t San Diego. I dont care who the hell you think you are or who you have living here, working here or how much money they have. Bostonians dont survive by respecting the status quo. Ask the Irish or the Italians. Or the Jews, who have the balls to actually express their religious backround there unlike CA where its probably what we would consider 'heathens'...I can just imagine what LA is like. A buch of Jews who are into being Jewish as a culture or a race...not a religious belief at all. All money, power and garbafge. I dont feel the spirituality here with money and power that I felt back east.
Money, power and life mix well where I come from. People are ENCOURAGED to question, ponder, learn and create. If this place is so Jewish then why is there an authority coming down on my head here that resembles a strict God in which can never be questioned? Jews are infamous for understanding that one may be angry with God or question everything about him or thier religion.

I smell assholes out here big time. I smell pathetic attempts at satanism or must plain old military bullshit bossing the rest of us around. Harvard may suck for certian reasons and some Harvard kids were actually not very nice to me concerning the harassment, but they were not half as bad as MIT. There is a reason that Harvard told the govt of the USA to go f*ck themselves around the 1960's opposed to MIT with thier military contracts.
I think San Diego is an ass kissing corporate Hell where everyone is wrapped up in getting so buttf*cked by authority to get what they want or 'fit in' to the power structure that they forgot what stupid whores they are putting their asses in the air to begin with to gain such favor.

Who the hell does this city think it is? Who do Californians think they are?

A friend of mine from VA warned me that I wouldnt like it here becuz "everybody there thinks they are better than everybody else"..I didnt think it was this godamn bad.

These people dont merely believe they are f*ckin delustional! They are involved in one of the worst urban cultural fantasies I have ever seen in my life. In many cities I can take out the buildings influences and look at the remaining natural landscape and the lines of the landscape and imagine what it looked like BEFORE modern influence. I cant do that here! The place is so influenced by whatever stinks here, that one cannot even see or sense the existence of the true land..what is UNDER the city. There has been NO city in existence that I could not 'connect' to in this way. I cannot picture the city which is one of my major complaints in the beginning as to why I kept getting lost. I am incapable of forming a mental map of this city..that is how JAMMED my senses are or my inner navigation systems. I CANT EVEN TELL WHICH DIRECTION THE PACIFIC OCEAN IS...now when a Bostonian cant tell which way is the ocean you have something seriously f*cked about your city.

Thats right San D-I-E-G-O. Even your name is owned by Mexico..HA HA HA HA.
Wouldnt it be nice to possess a nice respectable AngloSax name like Weston or Wellseley? Hey arent Californians the ones coming out to OUR rich neighborhoods back east and building big houses becuz they are all to stupid about 'old money' ways to understand the value of understatement? Why of course. Its no surprise the stories about a certain Hollywood star from the West coast that was just so uncomfortable in the Hamptons due to not being associated with the social cues since youth. And this dumb bitch bought an entire town and f*cked up those people's lives of course. Buying a town? Tacky at best..really.

Listen San Diego, when I arrived in your armpit of a city I noted on the outskirts that all those lovely buildings, it was a shame that someday soon they would all be rubble in an earthquake. What you think HAARP tech can save you permanently? Its obvious that CA still stands due to its value with what is already standing here and if that were not the case, it would be hit by some 'natural disaster' like other places where rebuilding has been quite profitable.

Go screw yourselves San Diego and CA as well. Thank the Gods for Berkeley in the summer anyway. But when the students from the CA suburbs come back its no surprise that the vibe dies and starts to stink up the place like a corpse..which is what many of those horrid 'typical American' kids remind me of. The walking dead. A herd of trendy, obedient asssholes who live to hold up the status quo for another generation.

Any judgement of ME by any living human being even residing in this money whoring Babylon HELL is null and void in my book. You are supposed to serve as AMUSEMENT for us east coast born not try to lord some FALSIFIED sense of superiority over us, just becuz we are on your territory...its like going to a sleep over at a persons home and after you arrive they get very weird about now having power over you cuz you are in thier domain...no class act. Just what I would expect from CALIFORNIA.

You hired an actor as your Gov...need I point out more? Just becuz he snagged a Kennedy dont mean sh*t. I like the guy but...would Boston have done the same? Well we did hire Romney who is a Mormon Mexican from Chigago or ILL so I guess the world is at an end when instead of a CATHOLIC or a PROTESTANT Boston gives into a MORMON...yeah its Armegeddon. A republican fine..but a MORMON...FROM THE MIDWEST???What the hell is wrong with you people? What a native son wasnt good enough?
Yes, this kind of recent selling out of Boston and such stupidity is indeed why I left. Its opened itself up to being a 'world class city' and if no one noticed that it was already world class for years just BY THE FACT ITS BOSTON then its over I guess. The destruction of all things sacred for the NWO.
But in the midst of the destruction of the USA here is San Diego, safe on thier little island of CALI fantasy world where, somehow, they now dictate 'reality' to everyone from everywhere else.
Get F*cked and I mean royally. You are going to see what made Boston what it is and why the flag of a true Irish is not at all Orange. You have no idea of how much rebellion, blood sweat and tears went into Boston MA. I dont recall covered wagons like your peasant ancenstors or coming here with money to settle, I recall racial unrest in the 70's during their little social experiment known as bussing. I recall people of different European backrounds to this day fighting for footing, whereas here every white person looks the same. Italians didnt make it in the northeast by respecting authority...Rome didnt conquer the world by doing that either.

You will never ever destroy me or alter me. You are a fairly new city full of trendy, money obsessed idiots who think they are 'evil' and Satanic some of them, and they have never once seen terorism like in Ireland Beirut, Enland, Israel or even what went on in NY or what goes on there everyday as people battle for parking spaces or private spaces..
you are spoiled by having much space and a fairly modern city. You have a Naval base nearby not only protecting you but generating revenue.

You are essentially spoiled coddled children who fight for nothing so, naturally being human apes like all humans, you must take your aggression out in other ways and its laughable the ways you have been trained to do so in. (And I didnt want to say that you 'chose' to do so becuxz I dont think you choose anything. Youre trained like circus animals out here)

San Diego doesnt think..it runs. Its a money generating city no doubt. But its too easy to function in...to far set back from the reality of life like one sees in places like the southest, the mid west, the northwest or the northeast. Florida is about as annoying as CA in its penchant for aggressively replacing the facts of life with its own fantasy world of 'reality'.

Do you honestly believe that a bunch of trendy snobs can break me? When you come out stinking of old money from the east or Europe, then you can outsnob me..til then your snob 'act' relies heavily on the herd mentality..and your insecurities and fumbling shows through painfully so.

Go to hell and I hope and earthquake takes out this f*cker sooner than later.

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