deprogramming is going to cause my suicide

I realize now that the possible reason I have been experiencing behavior modification for years now is that parties unknown to me knew I was programmed and this is thier way of dealing with it.

Coersive deprogramming techniques have proven not to work and have been de bunked and frowned upon for years now. The way I have been treated over the past many years has been similar to the Tavistock method for dealing with 'shellshock' soldiers and deprogramming them.

It also resembles I read today, the classic abusive deprogrammer techniques.

This is extremely valuable to everyone involved becuz it makes it so I do not work peacefully with a therapist and hypnotist; I would've remembered too much that way.
These people want to cover their asses and they believe this is the sure way-to break me down instead with constant harassment, sexual harassment, humiliation, druggings, gassings, demoralization, and a sexual targeting that is either from technology or an implant.(rape -like the old corrupt deprogrammers used to do). Rape and druggings...and isolation thru abduction. Isnt that essentially what has happened to me? I have been abducted from my old life via betrayal and gangstalking.

gangstalking is nothing but psy ops anyway. I should rename my blog "on psyops".


The sexual targeting or unwanted arousal is the key ingredient in controlling someone. over time, when associated with triggers and sexual harassment it actually somehow works its way up into the will power center making the target docile and sickeningly compliant. You start associating sexual experiences with everything from perps to anyone in uniform. This they especially need to get me into becuz I did not grow up with a father in my home, only in the foster home before age 6 and still the woman was the dominant figure. It has been focused on by perps how I am trying to be like a man, I am too independent, I was too sexual (which they mix with shame often) though I havent been with anyone since a handler named scott A. severely scarred me for life in connection to trusting lovers--but I have deducted for a time now that his abuse/intense stimulation method was meant to 'prime' me for this program of modification anyway--which is why its prob desirable I be with no man. ..its a really sick use of sex for the modification of a females attitudes and personality..

I have absolutley no support and whatever the 'cover story' is it works so well on people that most people are going along with this program and I cant seem to get anyone to help me.

the perps know everything anyway..

I must protest that this is NOT the way to deprogramm someone. All they've done is destroy my intell and artistic qualities and without art work i can never be happy. My looks are gone and my heal;th is bad becuz medical people hav ebeen abusive so i am afraid to go even to the dentist for absessed tooth.

I cannot believe I spen tmy life as a programmed perspn, had the sanity and guts to break free and all i get is thsi insulting nonsense..

u hav eto remember, these people are sick minded..they will hand thier children over so i can see tehm thinking(especially my family members) this is "good" or an act of love.

they do not live in the real world..or at leasr in a healthy one.