While I have the clarity I will post two things I have wanted to for a while but have always 'forgotten' right away or other mind melting effects or been deterred by subtle 'suggestion' from the system.
When I experienced that bad truck ride out of Salt Lake City Utah, probably last November Id have to look it up. The driver was Mexican and I should know by now that the last truck ride out of Salt Lake City with a Mexican driver also ended very badly with my getting out unscathed in Wyoming somewhere. Its just a place where you cannot get a Mex driver. SoCal one can assess them better and many are straight laced or religious so want to help out.
We went to the Morton Salt factory to get his cargo load. He got weird when we waited so I left the salt plant and was stranded for the night in a small town. Let me look it up.
Felt watched the moment I arrived and got stalked and harassed heavily. VERY heavily. Like early Bush/post 9-11 heavily.
Also reacted to this with aggression and acting crazy. Went to a gas station didn't feel safe squatting.
It seemed ok to sleep outside this gas station convenient store. However I felt very targeted and affected. I started self talking and acting weird, basically losing control. The police arrived and he said that people wouldn't mind me being there but "..eventually people get creeper out".
I got out of that and left but walked across the street looking for shelter and then reacted aggressively and totally unreasonably by screaming across at the store and employee.
I decided to leave this town again I was behaving very unreasonably becuz it was around 2am and I was going to walk a very dangerous desert local highway with snakes and no lights and alot of turns nothing out there. Not having slept I was on auto as Ive learned to function in this state.
I began walking and had the sense to be very careful of oncoming traffic trying to stay to the shoulder as well as avoiding phone use CONSTANTLY shining my light in front of my path. (On this road a ways up out of town a snake was directly in my path and if I was distracted or hadn't had my headlamp I would have stepped on the animal WITHOUT any phone battery left or any kind of bite first aid. Totally unreasonable person at this time I was.)
As I had walked out of the town I could actually feel individual presences of what seemed like people in their homes as I passed a phenomena I had experienced here the entire time but most strong as I left town on this road.
As the town was behind me the aggression left me slowly and the effects of being there. I marveled at the change in my personaitu back to normal.
Later a ride from an older lady saved me from a wring route I was walking on told me that it was a small Mormon town I had been in and outsiders usually aren't welcome.
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I wonder what kind of excuse "they're doing it to everybody" is? What's that supposed to mean? There are so few targets compared to the thundering herd of perps and complacent/passive types. There are a lot of those who aren't actively involved, yet passively stand around and watch targets get killed/hammered. A perp even passed me a message that "if this were a boxing match, the ref would've stopped the fight ages ago". So they admit we are getting badly beaten continuously like the fighter in the movie Raging Bull. I like how he says "yeah but I didn't go down". And there were people in the audience covered with blood literally. But he didn't go down. Sounds so much like targets, and there are people in the audience who are passive, or even get actively involved despite knowing our situations and how much we get hammered. Like the hear palpitations last night that lasted for like almost an hour. I woke up, and I was still having them. How I slept through that I don't know. I'd love to see perps and the assholes who think our situations are acceptable deal with that.
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