Headaches and neurological health issues/ inducing bad health as part of behavior modification

I am sort of glad that Bret Michaels had been in the news lately for a brain hemmorage. I never liked his band due to being a bit to old when they came out to NOT notice that when glam went to the west coast it shit the bed totally.
I recall seeing an add in Rolling Stone for the band and thier faces close up on some album cover as the add. My friend showed it too me and I replied that those were 4 of the ugliest women I had ever seen in my life. Then I was told they were men and this was the newest thing. My family had moved to RI so what did I expect? Yech.

But he is a Gen X er and still around so he deserves some respect I guess...but on reality shows? Uhhhh, no not respect for that but he's still working. ok good enough then.
He did piss me off once on some show he was on years ago where he whined about the kind of women that sleep with people for money...get over it. First of all yer industry would disappear without such women ..and men (you know it so dont lie) and unfortunately most likely children. (Welcome to harsh reality). Also the drug trade would go out of business so morally judge somewhere else dude. Listen the day these show biz whore musicians start playing for free instead of getting paid for concerts is the day the f*ckers can start judging whores.
Not very logical are we? And you dont have to be when you live in The Bubble that all those kind of people exist in.

I have lately, especially today for some reason kept getting ideations to read up on his story.

I think I know why.
I have had headaches on my right side for years and lately as the stress of gang stalking has grown over the years its getting less frequent with headaches but when it comes now its obvious something is wrong. Due to being so harassed, basically harassed to NOT seek medical attention and take care of myself like I used to, I have refused to be realistic about the situation.

But I recall that when harassed very nastily and overtly at St Elizabeth's hospital in Brighton MA one of the residents who really worked me over with being abusive, terrorized me by saying that I had had some sort of damage to the right side of my brain due to a car accident in NH or that it was on file that the damage was there but never told to me directly. I never put it together til now, til today. I had this headache all day and I could tell it was stress related. The headaches have been worse since my allergic reaction and seem worse here in So Cal lately.
Its on the right side and it always feels like its connected to the base of my skull and it goes up to inside my head when it hurts. I thought it was connected to my back due to getting relief when pressing on the back of my skull at the base on the right side. In fact if I push on it hard and let it go I can feel it connect to inside my head by it pulsing. This provides relief. I tested it by holding my breath and at the same time bearing down a bit like when one defecates. Sure enough I can feel the whole vein or artery or whatever it is pulsate in my head, I can map out just where it is and how big it is. It does in fact seem to go from the base of the skull up the back of the head and deep inside my head on the right side.

My plan was to ignore all this and just write my book then suicide to solve all the health issues that have gotten out of hand due to me neglecting them.
Not many doctors seem willing to help me as much as I need and those are the helpful ones...others are just plain negligent or abusive.

So I desperately need to calm down and not get stressed anymore. Lou Gheppeti warned me about this after his brain damage from an anyurism. He did state that the woman he was with was so abusive that the stress helped cause the damage. I cant say if he was the kind of person he is when I dealt with him or if that is from somehow being recruited or the brain damage itself. If he was anything like I know him to be, he might have just pissed this woman off to the point where it got very nasty. Then again what he says about her may be true and he may have been dating a very sneaky covert abuser.

Regardless, the people around me now are actually convincing me to fix my health issues but ther is damage that seems unfixable and I was NOT planning on fixing anything..just getting that book done and then terminating due to this body now being more a burden in the forseeable future than a vessel to use for activism etc, living my life out.

The system also wants to wear down the TI in this way so that the person is FORCED to mello out or take it easy, to lack passion and energy. Its forcible retirement for people WITH alot of force. Its the ultimate taking away for someones life and demanding that they live it the way the networks and the system wants it, not by one's WIll.

This is the ultimate get off for the people in power behind a campaign. Also with programmed people they figure that it will help erase memories even moreso as well as if they deprogram you and its partially due to destroying yer health I know damn well that the plan is to ensure one accepts one's situation or develops a new Self to survive. It also allows one to get connected to the idea of living, care about life, and then have to actually stop living passionately in order to STAY alive, instead of the survivor having access to all thier talents and powers in a healthy, youthful state.

You have to decide for yourself if suicide is the way to end the story especailly if the system refuses to give you the health care you need or lawyers wont touch you to sue people who have helped perpetrate that damage. If the system needs so desperately to have you ALIVE but a slave to ill health in this body then it may be the greatest revenge to suicide as one wonders why its so important to have survivors alive. And to tell the whole world how this works before removing yourself from the never ending abusive situation may be a great revenge before leaving. Its all about control and the perps want to control the outcome of yer life. It is essential to them for some reason to wear one down into being a peaceful wimpy sort of a-hole who accepts defeat or starts to mello out (give in to torture and behavior mod) to the point of being accepting of being limited due to outside interference (good little prisoner) or part of the NWO world peace hive that is SO very sought right now by the powers that be.

I say drop dead with yer middle finger in the air and an expose gripped to your breast, that tells the whole world how this works and who did what to ruin you as a TI. F*ck the system, we CANT bring it down, but we can ultimately reject it if it thinks that systematic ignoring and intimidation will work as enslavement.