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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

PTSD, memory and opiates

http://brainzaps.wordpress.com/ptsd-symptmology-brain-changes-etc/

I believe I have posted this before about PTSD and opiates.

That I read an article (which I will find again believe me) and from experience just a small amount of certain opiates used medicinally can heal or make PTSD somehow 'better'.
And I am talking about a very small amount. Minuscule compared to what they would give you in a hospital setting for pain (and I am talking pharma quality).

I discover this every time that I am given an opiate by a physician.

I had not had anything lately that warranted me getting opiates and sure enough my memory has been fading and so have I. Constant torture from memories...its so sad becuz I was healed so much when they came after me.
And I felt I had found ways to heal myself more so even.

In cases like mine the point of gang stalking is to erase memory further, make the person depressed and fearful of doing anything or expressing themselves,(furthering all efforts at behavior modification) and make hyper vigilance so constant that nothing in life seems enjoyable- eventual suicide.

People who are trauma based mind control survivors from childhood already have PTSD..anyone with PTSD already is going to be a prime target for the perps becuz the torture system is already in place. The gang stalking system adds new and awful memories to someone who is already damaged and most likely has been or will be seeking healing at some point.

This is how lives are ruined ..internally.  And like a soldier most victims feel there is something about their story that the general public cannot understand nor would want to hear.  

Think of TI's..most of us keep our stories and situations quiet around most people we deal with..its too dangerous as most people are not familiar with such levels of corruption being 'real' (unless they are in law enforcement or crime).

Opiates seem to calm the system and make things not such a threat.
I can tell you that the effect on me now is very different from when I was younger and not damaged strictly from gang stalking..alot of the damage then was internal from childhood.

The price I pay today is a lung infection that got me put on cough medicine immediately..its worth it. I had forgotten how much this drug repairs the damage.

THIS IS THE REAL REASON FOR MAKING THE TI OUT TO BE A 'DRUG SEEKER' EVEN WHEN THE PERSON IS TRULY IN NEED OF PAIN MEDICATION. The Target must be kept in a constant state of terror.

I could not figure out in the beginning(2004)  why it was so important to make me out to be drug seeking, threatening my doctor in the hallway and such when all I had come in for was a cold or something. I really thought it was something in connection to my ex and his really stupid and clumsy rich kid friends trying to frame me in relation to thier drug busts (I was told in not so many words that they attempted just that and that they are "stupid")

..but when such behavior by medical professionals follows one across the country..uh something is wrong.

Also being treated cruelly continued consistently.

A person with so many memories of torture becomes overwhelmed and it seems impossible to get help..especially if they tried to get help at a key point in thier lives and THAT is when the system came after them the hardest.

This being overwhelmed makes the person keep entertaining suicide as the only answer, that or throwing thier lives away or worse...

in the case of a TI one of the 'alternatives' is to give in to behavior modification...a fate certainly worse than death.

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