ask yourself: Do I Really Understand What's Going On?

 Ask yourself this one question: 

Are you smart enough understand MK Ultra? 

 Think about that for a while.. 

I rest my case. 

What's with the preminitions about this Friday? It's like something bad is going to happen on Friday?  

when you get older it's harder to do 'double life'

 When I was younger I could deal with multitasking and leading a normal life as well as doing this online 'activism'. I could separate danger from what I could trust. 

It becomes harder as you age to be able to  play people's games and remain emotionally uninvolved thus unaffected. I think as we age especially in women when the estrogen leaves for good it feels like we want to nest or make homes that actually work with people we can trust. 

The problem is that working with the these theories you realize early on that your going to be surrounded by compromised people. Such people are going to work for or be handled by corrupt authorities and don't usually have a good moral compass. 

I am so sick of being surrounded by nothing but handled or compromised people.  I'm becoming vulnerable and want just to be able to 'retire' as it were and be around genuine people I can trust. That's not how this works however and it's pretty inconvenient to run out of morale, armor, weapons and Intel at the end stretch of a mission. 

Imagine if knights on a life long or decades long quest got hit with something like menopause and age? You just feel like dropping every sword and spear and all the armor, giving up the horse and just walking away. What a horrible way to end a story. 

However, that's what it feels like. Also young people become unrecognizable as peers and young females especially become viscous and behave with disregard because of the lack of estrogen. I now observe their behavior as being totally foreign to mine and I see clearly everything they do is based on hormones, pheromones and the fact that their appearance buys them power in society. Power they aren't aware of and power they don't understand won't be there forever. 

Young females seem to behave viscously because they can sense you're 'out of gas'. 

It's very easy for people to get to me nowadays. Ive become vulnerable. People can entrap me into a situation and manipulate my behavior by making me nervous. Ive lost so much credibility in the past many years by wanting a safe place to rest and to believe in people nstead of focusing on finishing what I started years ago. I didn't realize biological life changes would shift my priorities whether I liked it or not.  

This was all supposed to have been done  by now and I was supposed to be done with 2 books and moved on in life to painting and writing ...things I should have been doing when this started back after 9/11. 

Something about women's estrogen allows us to outplay people who are playing us. It's as if we can keep it all straight in our heads. Women want things or need things and they get them. Women have strength to persevere and estrogen to calm males and quickly sooth stress and wounds people cause us. Men will follow you to the ends of the earth or off a cliff. Once that estrogen goes it all changes. You just want life to be normal and you want the world to be good. You want to see your life's work change things not the world to go on as it does. 

I haven't even created much less released the information that would have had such an effect. I've been surrounded by people I cannot trust who don't have my best interest at heart all because I got so severely sidetracked being framed in 2016 that I sought security and stability at any cost and now it's a prison.

It's pretty annoying to see that I've been more effectively neutralized this way than anything that was tried before I was framed and  now of course gotten old. I've essentially nuetralized myself over the long term in the interest of survival. 

I've become what I swore I never would many years ago as a kid: a fake adult who's formed a personality based on fear and conformity that has no genuine Self just.in order to survive.

That's fine for nomal people but after that I've been through and after what I've seen it's inhumane. 

The people I have subjected myself to over the past many years I would never have taken favors from nor depended on before. I would have known better and I would have been stronger with a much more cavalier attitude. 

It doesn't help that in Massachusetts a lot of the decent and good people have left during either Trump or Biden. There's just nothing left of the culture here. I observed it changing over many years when I would come and go when I was traveling. I was supposed to settle down someplace else and write books but certainly not here. It's like staying in the dragons lair when you haven't slain the dragon yet. It's downright careless.

Believe me predators are having an easy time of it now. Menopause is very isolating and if I had known I would have made a different situation for myself before hand. It's like a forced retirement due to a biological event you cannot control. 

Imagine iif a bunch of soldiers just dropped their weapons, wandered off the battlefield and wanted to just eat, watch TV and be safe all day. 

This is a very dangerous time. Now I understand the need for children (grandchildren) and families and long time acquaintances and friends. Not a battlefield of either untrustworthy or unstable people. 

I think being injured and  not being able to self heal anymore physically or otherwise has bacome unbearable. 

This is a warning to all people working with these theories. Especially females

 Get your defensive fight over with and establish yourself and get your work out and get out. Don't let the system slow you down so that things drag on. Make a plan to settle someplace that isn't the original place where the ordeal started and find 'the good people' and built a life that's safe with safe people for your dying years. 

I've cared for an elder whos in this situation and neglect and negligence especially medical is a great way to get rid of older people without anyone knowing what happened. If I hadn't been around to intervene, that elder would have suffered that fate. Their quality of life never got up to what it could have been due to their not understanding this system or the GS theories as well as handlers working every angle they can like a person's insecurities or narcissism etc. 

You've got to be forever vigilant but for aging females that becomes difficult.

Reality especially the covert wars and soldiering on in it, becomes an unbearable reality. The rewards are gone and there is only suffering. You begin focusing on the fact that one day soon you will close your eyes and not wake up again. When your young death doesn't seem to mean anything. Even when you think about it, some of us don't genuinely consider it or even accept it. Menopause takes that away. It's a cruel joke to tell you to live past 30 and life is worth something when in fact it changes nothing and then death is a burden because you force yourself to stay around long enough to learn to live and enjoy living but then you realize you have to die. 

What absolutely is the point of any of that? We aren't naturally supposed to live this long anyway and now I understand wny-human life no long has value the longer people live.

There's one thing I can't stand about the world as it is now-people are losing their humanity and the number one thing I see a lack of is DIGNITY. 

I certainly aren't doing myself any favors  by dragging this on and taking on more responsibility than I can handle on top of the Colossus I was burdened with after 9/11. 

I recall what I've learned from watching a lot of air crash investigations. I am stubbornly pushing through a plan that  no longer works and it's going to make me crash. I'm also horrible at 'situational awareness' nowadays because of everything I've mentioned. 

With estrogen everything is easier. Older women bring an ultimate kind of wisdom about life and our planet. I now understand why it's so imperitive that a dysfunctional, horrible system in our world has to ensure no one listens to aged women and why it's engineered generation aftet generation to make sure younger people don't listen to old people and don't take on traditions. Not meaningless ones but important things like ancestral music etc. 

If you play this right you can quit in safety but if not you can bet on this system always being there and it never quits. If you don't retire correctly it will indeed finish you off. Its always there waiting. 

 

a new annoyance on public transit

Making sure every single bus ride includes me not being able to get my cart on or off because drivers leave a big gap between the entrance and the sidewalk. What are the chances that  every single bus (and ONLY in the immediate area not near my storage etc) does this every single time? And what are the chances that every driver is pissy and inconvenienced when I ask for them to move closer to curb or use ramp if necessary? 

The odds of that occuring exactly as Ive laid it out are very nill. 

I can use my X account if necessary no problem.  

I'm not going to look paranoid or get aggravated by being baited or look as  of I'm being entitled. Your going to look incompetent and like assholes however. I guarantee it  

how long are they going to keep on abusing anti-terrorism to target people that are inconvenient with the arrogance

(I just read that they directly run programs on the local level it's run by state and local authorities. Which doesn't surprise me in this area).  (I'm not trying to knock any agency I'm saying that out of fear but out of legitimately deserved respect. they do keep our food supply safe which other countries do not have which is why we fared better through COVID).

Also when reading this about the Boston area  remember Boston does not have an actual fusion center I have a privately owned one.  

 

Community Policing as the Primary Prevention Strategy for Homeland Security at the Local Law Enforcement Level-

Homeland Security Affairs, Volume I / June 2005 /

https://www.hsaj.org/articles/183

Boston didn't take this as seriously until after the Boston 'bombing' incident (still suspect to many and witnesses who were there saw things very differently from the official story but will probably never be vocal about it due to fear). 

It explains a lot of waste of tax payer money just to get to inconvenient people using a ruse or excuse (cover story). I can't tell you how many times you can tell some idiots gave their friends funding that tax payers are paying for and this place I live in in the Northeast is notorious for waste and ripping off the ggovernment for people and their friends I think it's called nepotism. I don't think it's going to do anything for anti terrorism to go up to a couple of people with backpacks in a storage ffacility where small tradesmen and construction guys have units there and they approach people and question them with the exact line  "okay guys where you coming from and where you going?". (This was years ago in a storage facility different from the one I have. There was a fire department hazmat training center one street over and it is right on route 90 so I can see why there might be heightened security as an excuse for this kind of shenanigans). of course at the same period of time you've got Uber drivers doing it. so if a lot of people are doing the same thing at the same time then it's a program and it's from funding. why would completely different demographics of people and completely different locations and completely different capacities that do completely different jobs who probably don't even live near each other ask the exact same question the exact same way? 

But as usual it's a waste of money it's being used for special interests not anti-terrorism. 

The reason I'm posting this is I'm getting a little sick of this crap.  I was on public transportation and as most of you know I posted before that Boston and our public transit system The only one in the country that has Homeland security cameras that they've bragged in the Boston globe they can look at what's going on through the cameras "from a hotel room in Beijing". I find it interesting that the wording in the Boston globe article a couple of years ago bragging about the cameras and their capacity included a city in China. Very telling. 

I don't see these kind of cameras on buses in Washington DC Will they have all those animals living there which of course the elite have a habit of doing this cuz they serve as alligators in a moat around the castle. Destroyed Las Vegas in the same way. Strip is now overpriced and ridiculous and  Katrina refugees made the place unsafe and uninhabitable outside of the strip we're average Americans used to be able to come test their meddle try to live out their dreams and either fail and leave I've lived a life experience and an adventure in their country stay and find a home and a place where maybe expectations are a little more managed another words you go there to become a card player you might end up just being a card dealer for some other job but you might like staying there due to the environment. 

Americans have a right to their country to move freely throughout it and experiences that will shape their lives. Places should not belong to the corpotocracy or a big international business or crooked international criminals (alot of big construction projects especially condos. Money laundering.)

I have a vest that I wear most people kind of know it's a battle vest and they think it's just bands  but I have patches on there from different places I've traveled also I'm a Traveler. Some people know about the subculture but is not as many as used to know. When I see people over 70 they look at me like I'm completely normal. 

Remember your average person nowadays lives in the internet like it's another dimension they don't live in the real world unfortunately. And they don't experience it which is why they're not missing the experiences being taken away by corpotocracy taking over all these cities and all these buildings and all this lland. and globalism is nothing but a destroyer of culture like any other colonialism or invading culture. 

It's getting a little sickening at this point. All I did was take a photograph a couple of pictures of a big rig truck which is a nice Peterbilt truck because I never see those around here I only see independent owner operators (in real solid hardworking AAmericans) in the rest of the country not here. So I was pretty Surprised and pleased to see a beautiful truck. Then I noticed he was carrying gasoline probably and I was taking pictures sending them to a truck driver friend of mine asking him if he'd ever ridden in one before because I have while traveling. It's a strange sensation when the liquid behind you sloshes every time you go to a stoplight. 

And I certainly wouldn't ride and one again because it's scary. 

That's all I was doing and anybody could look at my vest and clearly see that I'm a traveler who's interested in a truck. 

Well I got this weird feeling after I took those pictures and sent them to my trucker friends. And this kid who pretended to be a social worker started chatting with me and filming at me with his phone I chatted with him in return but he was much too smart to be lost on the bus like he cclaimed.

Discussed homelessness with him for a minute in case he was genuine. 

But the whole trying to film me thing is really irritating I'm the one who's expert at that for years not you. 

I think these people really think they're actually doing something to protect their country but when  come to these young kkids remember how indoctrinated and brainwashed they ar.

Remember how scared they are of their future. Have to remember that they're not us. 

They don't have the kind of freedom and mental freedom that we have and grew up with.  My mother used to say in her 1960s mindset that the government is the most paranoid people on the pplanet. I think that's changed now I think that these kids who are doing this stuff I'm not paranoid I think they know what they're doing is wrong. And they're doing it to serve their country because getting rid of dissonant voices is what has to happen right now in order to go along with globalism and compete. 

Especially with China which hhas social credit system where you're not allowed to rebel at all or you don't get a bank account. 

So the next time this happens I'm just going to film and return. 

You should be able to take pictures of trucks in the old days actual real law enforcement that weren't jerk offs like now and totally brainwashed or knowing they're doing something wrong targeting ppeople wasting the citizens money with special interest agendas in the old days they would have taken one look at my vest and realized I'm a traveler. And if they don't know who I am by now That's absolutely ridiculous. 

This thing started after 9:11 and I've been riding the buses off and on for years. 

There's nothing like faking your paranoid in order to fucking abuse power for sinister intent and special iinterest.

By the way I'm a 54-year-old woman that can look in people and I can tell exactly what they're thinking and who they are you think you're going to fool me especially with young people it's completely laughable.