I hope I can get my health in order. So I can leave the US. Go be homeless and die peacefully in the old countries. Except Italy...I am not going near that place. It seems that Italian mob people dislike me here. Good. You'd rather take a non Italian's side like my mother or that scum my uncle? Yeah becuz they are so much easier to control.
As long as eastern MA hasn't sunken into the ocean, NYC isn't rubble and St Louis isn't smoldering ash I can't say I can ever have peace as an American citizen.
If I stay away from MA I can forget what they did for the most part. But still trying to reside in the US as a targeted US citizen is always going to be impossible to live with. Its much easier to be targeted somewhere foreign. Where you can't understand what they are saying about you. Where you don't feel its your birthplace turned against you yet at the same time its not your ancestral homeland. There's nothing rooting me here that makes me feel as if I have support. Once the illusion of the United States is broken, you realize that you are at war, in a foriegn land that basically belongs to other people.
Staying is completely pointless.
And you are constantly defined by the most negative reflections of you imaginable. You don't have the freedom or ability to define who you really are or a positive self image.
And I can either leave the country or eventually end up becoming so.ill and its obvious my lifes been taken from me that I murder one of my main betrayers. Jake, my mother or Julie. And that is really something they have wanted since the beginning. Which I won't.give.them even though it would be more than fair at this point. Ratting on the system is best.
And I won't give info.to whoever.is pushing me. Becuz the scumbag cocksucker corrupt FBI had a.chance to.give me and anyone else a subpoena during that federal investigation and they chose instead.to target.and.harass people.
Becuz they know damned well they are hiding information connected to 9-11. And they want to keep hiding it. They are also the kind of power obsessed scum who want.only to break someone instead.of get true justice.
Everyone involved.can go.Fuck themselves. My.life.has been.destroyed becuz the same annoying closet cases as ran the FBI, CIA and military for years before are still running.it.now. They got the public convinced.they are the good guys. They are the worst bad guys there are.
Fuck the whole system. I will go.so many miles away that any memory of all the jealous c*nts in my family and in Boston generally will dissolve into nothingness. All the memories of weak, no dick overweight 'regular guy' working class house slave scum looking satisfied at my getting sick and living in the streets will no longer exist.
Fuck all this scum. If.I.can't.get a big enough revenge on a country that's FAILED me all my life I can at.least crawl out of.this shit hole with the last strength left in me.
And give the finger as.I slowly disinigrate overseas.