MICROSOFT TRANSLATOR

DISCLAIMERS

Please be advised that this written work of mine is only THEORY. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no belief in anything posted here because if I did I would have had legal action taken by now-until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.

For years I've had here a disclaimer that says I'm often sleep deprived when posting due to my lifestyle as a houseless Traveler (and my age as well as health issues). This should be taken into consideration when viewing my posts and vids on the connected YouTube channel.

Forget David Icke..THIS Is The Secret Of How Our World Works!

Well..looks like Mr Show told the truth after all:



Sunday, March 28, 2010

San Diego police and the possible abuse of microwave weapons

Last night at 3 am a cop car came by and ripped through here, when they went by the tent they used thier horn the one that sounds low tone and obnoxious but when this occured I believe a microwave anti crowd or crowd control weapon was misused on sleepig unarmed civilians. Everyone got very quiet even those sleeping and I of all people should know what that feels like from the abuse during Bush.

Gee I guess its time to call them on he way I was treated at Albertsons.

I highly suggest you dont try that again as I will consider it a challenge to see if I can be as big of a pain in the ass as I was in boston,and lets see if my handlers do thier dirty work out HERE as well.

Also I recall many clients being from Cali, es;ecially the entertainment industry. You wanna play arrogant due to typical age old cop arrogance or perhaps most of you clowns are still jacking off on civilians as play things like former military arrogant pricks would? We can play that.

Dont think the CALI sun has made me as stupid and as complacent as the natives here especially in the homeless population.
I can still be as black and cold as the winters back home...you screwed up at Albertsons....I do believe that my hospitable attitude towards this place has ended and its time to get to work with the same love of destruction of hte Bush created police state that I have had for years.

Audit the Fed campaign also sounds fun especially the military. The Navy are the ones who have been given money to mess around with psychic research its documented.

When all know that the cops of all people are criminals, arrogant and are the last people on earth who should be trusted with microwave or any other military capacity anti terror or crowd control weapons. They have been handed wayyy to much power in the last decade due to Homeland Security being the dumbest agency yet when it comes to being realistic about most civilians abusing power.

Its gone to far and only the people the system is persecuting or trying to silence know the extent of the abuse. How far can I shove my book up thier asses before they go back to thier pre terror paranoia stance? The popo state cannot last forever. Enjoy it now while you can, and the next tine you play with toys you better kill and not mess around.

At least that is what the old mafia guys in suits told us at the lounges when we were little kids. Weapons are not toys, they are used for business only. You do not pull them out to play with them or impress people. ANd most importantly, if you are gonna pull one out you better use it.

And also anyone raised during Bush or in the military during the last administration who got to be so f*cked in Iraq or torturing prisoners should not be allowed to become a cop until they grow the fuck up as your generation sucks harder than any one before you and you have no solid old fashoined values besides what the neo con Nazis brainwashed you with so they could pull off those years of non sense. Believe it.

The Pope joined the NWO party

http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Religions/Roman%20Catholicism/pope_calls_for_new_world_order.htm

Here is something the Pope needs to do: mind his own business. And its especially suspect when his 'business' seems to be the same as politicians.

The church has done some particularly nasty things over the years and all crimes are NOT paid. Yes they have some excellent charities but anyone with any DNA from Italy has only to look at the set up from its invention to realize that this is Rome's way of re-inventing itself. The wolf of ancient pagan Rome (Romulus and Remus) got some very nice sheep's clothing with this one. And every Italian deep in thier hearts knows it. Do you know why Italian Catholics fare so much better than foriegners who take on this religion? (Which has Jesus who himself was Middle Eastern but there some historical theory of him being the bastard son of a Roman soldier). Becuz deep down its 'Italian first, Catholic second'. If Italy did away with its blackmarket economy the place would fall over.

I come from Catholics, I should know. It may be a good belief system for a very private, quiet but weighty relationship with one's godhead or the concept of 'God' and they certainly have kick ass artwork at thier disposal, always the best way to sell something- great advertising artwork, and if you look at that ceiling its full of good ol subliminals just like every other advert artwork.
By the way man was an artist long before the idea of a Catholic god came along...perhaps the ideal coupled with censorship, intimidation, fear and terror provided the right environment for inspiration.

Anyone with a brain ( or Catholic) knows that the politics of the Church have a very sketchy past. The one thing I do NOT trust is when a Christian Protestant US President (also with a very sketchy record, but nicely hidden), his son as well as the African American President after him AND the Pope also calls for the same NWO.

It becomes obvious that its a dangerous union of Church and State...and it also becomes glaringly obvious that its only of interest to power structures at this point. This is when we have to become very realistic about the nature of the Church, her past, her interest in worldly affairs and consider her power in this game.

Just becuz many powerful entities on our planet right now want a NWO doesnt mean that is necessarily a good thing or the right decision. And one may be willing to tolerate, even appreciate the Church as a spiritual power as well as a political and monetary one. But if the Church wants to outright align itself with obviously corrupt powers then we have to recall the ugliness of the Middle Ages, the sex scandals and its very sordid history.

You wanna play? Show yer cards this time.
How dare an entity that gains its very power from mind control tactics as well as asking its believers via 'faith' to take into thier belief system fabrications of the Church itself as biblical realities...its believers (especially the Irish, with only thier Celtic roots to save them many a time without them knowing thats what the power is or understanding) are obviously and hopelessly compartmentalized and actively live in denial daily, ask anyone to firstly take what it says at face value and secondly be taken seriously when speaking of "the extraordinary results of scientific and technical progress."
YOU wanna talk about tech and science? And since when is tech and science YOUR domain? If they are gonna have anything to say about science I will then go get my humours checked as I may be a bit too phegmatic or perhaps meloncholy. Perhaps I will go get bled today..actually all I would have to do nowadays is go the psychiatrist due to a 'chemical imbalance' which they cannot account for medically and actually may have been caused by trauma changing the way the brain works.

Nothing has changed has it? Thousands of years later man is still conned into not reasoning for himself and follows along with whatever the parental powers tell him to do or make him believe he should do.

With the amount of information available through institutions of learning as well as selectively on the internet coupled with a simple education plus being well read one could be more aware of what really goes on in this world than in any era past.

Man seems to chose enslavement and ignorance. Many people are against the concept of an NWO and this is being ignored and called conspiracy theory, while right before us there is evidence of just that via simple magazine articles and tv news clips.

What a damn white wash..and its done nowadays with instead of a belief system really, an info war system (manipulation of information).

Man becoming obedient to a system of enslavement is NOT the definition of evolving.

And as for peace, how can that be created if one or ones power structure is utilizing a system of manipulation,deception, intimidation, brainwashing tactics and ignoring human rights and civil rights violations.

Flower power- officially approved by the authority figures now. Kinda like legalzing pot and buying from the state...I wouldnt touch it. Anything they approve of is going to be in the interest of the same old agenda. Nothing has changed.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Uh..thanks but no thanks- TI invites

Firstly I appreciate everyone who offers me a place to stay but..Yes,BUT, I have posted my past encounters with TI's has been a nightmare and only added to the psych warfare campaign. There is no way I would ever live with another alleged TI again, unless it was a female who was beyond reproach...or a male who met all the credentials.

You dont understand how high my standards are...I am much different when it comes to males. You must study up on programmed females as well as the type of programming involved.

Due to the fact I am basically at war right now, I would only accept a male who would be of use to me in that war. Besides the fact that I pick males by some odd sort of sense or pheromones...its very primitive. Maybe its similar DNA I dont know. I know them when they come into my realm and they stand out over other males. I was NEVER one to do bar scenes or one night stands..not as 'Rachael' anyway. Not the real me. The real Me was always more akin to a goddess guarding a temple and I would not be doingh my job if I let just anyone in.

ALso any male who was serious about assisting me would have to have such wealth and connections as to be able to either solve this problem for good or at least have enough to scare my enemies away permanently and provide basically a fortress for a lifetime of protection.
He would also have to have desirable personal traits etc, a certain look. All the things I SHOULD have had access to before the system ruined my chances at such a future. I am not settling for less becuz the people in this system want to "Bring you (me) down to thier level."
I will not change my expectations for my future just becuz a bunch of corrupt, jealous assholes decide to keep me down.

Its never going to happen. I'll just leave and not have a future. You cannot just destroy someone and demand they become altered to your specs. You want to destroy genius, talent or whatever TI's have that you loathe? Even if its just freedom from the cookie cutter system? Then you deal with stateless peoples who will NEVER give into your demands. Or your raw deals.

So if you are a man please dont bother to keep asking me to be your girlfriend or stay with you especially in a foriegn country. You would have to own that country for me to be available. Get it now? And I am especially not interested in any one who is overly religious. You need a good read of my ONMC Wordpress blog then.

Thanks

onmc.wordpress.com/2010/03/24/ alien abduction,black magic,& dark gods by jason jeffrey

http://onmc.wordpress.com/2010/03/24/alien-abductionblack-magic-dark-gods-by-jason-jeffrey/

Its actually a piece of writing that is being skeptical and trying to make sense of why some experimentees or abductees have no alien presence within thier stories and others seem to have 'alien' beings as the focus of their stories.
Also goes into similarity between demonic encounters historically and alien encounters. I consider this very good for my years of occult knowledge and the experiences over the last 10 years.

I have lost much of my ability- memory, intellectual, artistic and psychic due to gang stalking and that 3 years exposed to mycotoxins. But I still have a bit left in me, enough to see this through til the end and this piece was unusual compared to the rest of what is out there for writings on the subject.

As EVERY experienced TI knows, one does not want to start poking around the alien abduction scene or even the military abductee scene as it is most likely littered with the same operatives that exist to handle or destroy TI's that are in the gang stalking forums and conference calls.

Its no wonder so many survivors and experimentees commit suicide. How is anyone supposed to live with being robbed of THIS much? And no one should be expected to....unlike the real world that is natural, the target is unable to gain revenge or is not given a chance to fight to regain what is theirs... and that may be the biggest indicator that we are being treated like zoo animals or like caged monkeys in a lab.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Mel Gibson on Tiger Woods..and the use of diversions

Back in January, another member of Hollywood, targeted by Hollywood made comment on Tiger Woods as useful diversion and the training of the public to bow to social control via 'the mob' mentality opposed to pay attention to reality like grown ups are supposed to.
http://www.nowrunning.com/news/english/leave-tiger-woods-alone-mel-gibson/28909/story.htm

Why hasnt Woods and Gibson collected themselves, their fortunes and thier families and split to Europe like other hounded celebrities who chose France or other countries where pacy is respected? Whatever thier reasons they have stayed in the US and they are valuable assets we should be proud of. And what have we done in return? proved just how spoiled rotten the USA is by using mobbing and targeting a person as a luxury. This country is so ridiculous that it can afford to destroy its best and brightest. I wonder when that luxury is going to run out.

Have you ever really watched..I mean looked carefully at an episode of TMZ? Its total social control via mobbing...and the jerks who do that are so average..just watch them slice and dice famous people on just one episode. You'll be offended especially if you've been targeted. If you havent gained the same perspectives as targets or mobbing victims, then you probably have brains enough to just be bored by it.

I want a study done on the brain wave patterns of people that like this kind of show. That and Jerry Springer.

Monday, March 22, 2010

More nightmares for the kiddies: Tim Burton's ALICE IN WONDERLAND/ a bit about gender in media



I am sick of Masonic content everywhere I look now. Enough with black and red or black white and red. Enough of restorationists trying to re create or re live the past and the hertitage of a long moved on faction of people. Pathetic really.

Even the sample pics that come in Windows 7 are mostly sun symbols etc. I'll do a post on it. Its completely oversaturating our environment and its overkill at this point.

Need I say more?

The director of the new Alice and Wonderland movie is the man above, Tim Burton and the woman is Helena Bonham Carter. She plays the Queen of Hearts in the new movie.
http://www.exposay.com/helena-bonham-carter-and-tim-burton-name-their-child/v/22112/

This director is known for making films that are a bit creepy or dark but it was always sort of harmless. And I recall very creative.
The darkness in this movie is something that no child should be exposed to and I blame that more on it being Disney than anything else. I would never let kids watch this. Little children, if you recall being one, see things much clearer than our aging, jaded eyes do. They are taking in the world anew everyday for the most part. I have the mental barriers to block out what is damaging to me at this age. Especially since I am specifically atttuned as to avoid subliminal content if possible.
Disney has been conditioning children for generations as well as there are some survivors of programming that specifically recall Disney movies or cartoons as used in high level programming or at least the programming of expendables. The castle is enough for some survivors right there.

There are moments in the movie that are downright creepy and the backrounds seem more 'dead' than a graveyard ever could be. This is common in much media nowadays...it seems like the goal is to reach some part of human beings with the intent of deadening the spirit or getting a future generation used to some sort of dark future reality. Dark and in ruins.

Here is the trailer take a look for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMiCJefpn9Q
Why does the Cheshire cat need cannibal or vampiric teeth? I dont recall him being so extreme in any of the other versions I have seen or the book even.
Every posh palace shot resembles a Masonic Hall.

The first thing I noted about Johnny Depps character when the trailer first ran a few weeks ago was the character his is playing is made up to, and with the use of computer animation or whatever they use, it looks like the spitting image of Madonna. (00:23)The space between the teeth, the eyes- alot of things in the facial structure. But its also supposed to make her look completely insane...look at the eyes. Would you let your kid watch this? Just after seeing this character I wouldnt let my kid see it.Its too crazed. The madness of Alice in Wonderland was never supposed to be true to life totally disturbing madness..kids will get enough of that when they become adults.
At 00:23 you can see the first glimpse of this character to about 00:25. Its the most distubing two seconds I have had in a while thats for sure and I get weird crap occuring daily. Also note how the character's neck tie or ascot expands in excitement when he sees Alice. Run it over a few times and get a handle on the face then run it over and watch the neck wrapping. You'll see what I mean. Dont be afraid to stop and really look at the face either.

Helena Bonham Carter, a snooty actress from England who I recall faintly from being in a few Young Ones episodes but she was annoying even then, she is playing the Queen of Hearts as we see in the first scene of the trailer with her opening a closet in surprise. She has a distorted look and we can see more of her later.
The film's herione, Alice, is a perfect specimen of blonde wavy hair complete with a dimple in her chin. Its been written in many articles that Burton was wise to make her 19 years old due to the newfound concern over Lewis Carroll's being a possible pedo. But I believe as we see the rest of the trailer, we see that he did this not strictly for this reason but becuz a child couldnt take on the role of a knight on a chess board in a battle to save humanity in typical Templar fashion, as this Alice does.
In 00:58 we can see how distorted the Queen of Heart's character is in Burton's verion of this tale. A small body with an enlarged forhead, and an aging, washed out appearence. She has her dark Knight by her side at all times.In the scene where she wants to use a pig as a foot stool we can see her a bit better and if you stop at 1:05 her whole face takes shape. A clownish red wig, crazy lady or trashy makeup job with heavy blue and drawn in eyebrows. She even has a small beauty mark on her upper left cheek, kind of like an angel's kiss they call them, which is one singular freckle making a beauty mark on the skin. It could also be a mole but its odd due to it not appearing excentuated but covered up by makeup (?). Strange for a character who makes most all of her effect from looking made up in an insane fashion.

If you doubt my comparison to Johnny Depps character with looking like Madonna just stop at 1:07. The BASIC look is there more clearly than in prior scenes.

Again at 1:07-8 we see the clownish look of the Queen of Hearts and again the disturbing enlarged forehead, dark eyes and freakish clown or 'crazy lady' makeup job.

Finally at 1:17 we get to see why Alice couldnt possibly be a child as she is now playing the ancient role of Templar Knight, complete with idealized blonde wavy locks and chin dimple.
After this scene there is another bizarre character with white or bleached out hair but oddly darkened eyebrows and lipstick. Under her eyes is obviously make up to give the effect of either dead or tired. She looks foolish and the theme of the back ground is blue and white or blue and gold. Heavenly color themes.
After that scene is another glance at Depp's character that should make you think twice about letting your kids view this movie. I stopped it at 1:18 and I still think the eyes look really messed up under the shade of the hat.

At 1:39 the scene shows her being thrown down a spiraling hole due to jumping off a bed. Its too violent for little kids. You have to remember that the most damaging things to the psyche or that cause influence are things that are distorted or put out to the viewer as if in a dream or dream state. It would be less harmful if yer kid saw someone fall in real life, then you could explain the facts of life to them and show them that real life, pain, accidents or even death or not as frightening as movies or dreams as this is all part of living and an encounter with our own mortality makes us appreciate living even more. Also you could show the kid that in real life one has control over scary things like helping a victim of an accident or at least seeing an outcome from a fall. The things we show our children in a dream state such as movies and TV affects them FOR LIFE not just for now. The power of the mind and its perceptions is far greater than anything we experience in reality.
In much of this movie it appears as if Alice is thrown around alot in Wonderland, without much control over her environment or the things that happen to her. That is not a good place to create in a child's mind.

Of course at the end the Cheshire cat shows his big smile and his reptilian eyes (due to cats actually being closely related to the family of reptiles in the animal world, which is why thier eyes look this way.) As if to say "come and get it you suckers".

No thanks. Alice in Wonderland is one of my favorite Disney movies and I like the book to a point. I like the animated one from the old days. Alice is learning about herself and what she is capable of..not slaying dragons. I always liked it when Alice gets sick of all the nonsense she once thought was so amusing, and all the characters around her start to melt away. This is what children, especially little girls (and big girls) need when wandering through a confusing, insane reality. When a woman grows up, each phase of her life is at some point trying to figure out a very male world that is in many aspects foriegn to her..everything right down to the way the streets are laid out in cities. Every girl needs a Cheshire cat as guide, not to scare the shit out of her further.
Also I do not appreciate how Alice is a woman and she is playing a male role. Women have thier own unique battles in life and its a constant problem with this nation as well as the world to ignore us and our life's journey's or to label it away as 'feminism' or the work of 'feminists'. Why must everything be reactionary. But then I am a woman who is most unpopular in my thinking about the genders..when I heard that a young woman insisted in going to West Point and she got beat up and harssed my thought was "Firstly, dont invade on men's territory as its not fair to them and you are asking for rejection. Secondly, you are asking boys for a slice of what is THIERS instead of demanding what is YOURS exist in the world. The solution to that is to have a West Point built for females with female instructors focusing on female power, prowess and the study of ancient female warriors, generals and everything related to such military expertise." And I also used to say that due to this being the USA, especially with new money ruling the scene now, all you would have to do is just market it as historically valid to the public to get it the cred it needs to exist. If the ATF can market itself out of being scratched off the board post prohibition days by making jackets with big ATF on them and following the FBI around during WACO and all that back then, why not a West Point for women?

I dont believe that we should bust in on boys clubs or locker rooms to demand acceptance- not only is it unfair to men who deserve thier privacy, its degrading to us as it infers that they actually have something we do not possess and want. Pisses me off really.
But I see now that the man's world would rather we beg to be let into thier tree houses that say 'No girls allowed' than to have our own to rival thiers. This is another case of the USA refusing to have roles that show what womanhood is genuinely about and restricting females to only certain power roles in media, and when they do have power roles they are standing in for males.

Unless of course this movie is the next generation of Templar programming, which is an absolute joke.

It may also be a very different belief system making fun of the battle between good and evil all together..I will leave that for you to ponder. I did my work for the day.

reader comment -Why the perps dont get payback concept

"....I sure hope they don't start to get the idea that those little instances are going to destroy me.
For some reason, the whole notion what goes around comes around escapes the perps. They are like the druggie who gets high, and are so high on their own bullshit, they can't think rationally. Yeah, that little instance on TV is really going to ruin my life. Well, I know there are so many instances of this going on, that each one adds up and is very detrimental to one's state of mind. I guess perps love to sit back and look at what they have imagined us to be, and just love every minute of it. Probably these hard-core perps are big time druggies. It's hard to believe all of this pych. harassment is so well-planned, yet I see instances that they have all these themes, tricks, and stunts planned like years in advance of going overt on a target.
Well, I hope no target commits suicide, because these assholes WILL get caught and go to prison. They should punish any gangstalking crime as though it were 3rd degree murder, because it is intended to be just that -- a murder. The perps deserve to die, but only after a fair trial. Why should some corrupt asshole run around free in society claiming I'm something I'm not, and make ME suffer for HIS crimes? Why should any other TI suffer like this?

And lots of TI's are getting high on the idea that exposing this crime is good. But that's tough to do, because I see evidence, from all the faces I see, and the content looks on their faces, that they really enjoy witnessing a target getting the treatment and beaten down. And there are lots of them, too. Society just has gotten to the point where everyone seems to enjoy this; very few are truly in the dark about this crime. So that means all these masses are just going to get into denial about this. I say each TI has to gather info, and privately covertly do what they have to do to expose the perps and their tech. The rest are just stupid smirking hateful assholes who enjoy going along with the herd.
Enjoy life in hell, perps. Cause that's where you're going. Remember, jealous and murder are sins. And speaking of Jesus, remember what he said about hypocrisy. So many onlookers who approve of this and join in really do fit that bill. I guess not having lives of their own is why they enjoy it so much.
3/21/10 12:28 AM"


You have to remember something very KEY about organized stalking & harassment perpatrators or participants- in my experience over many years time, often knowing I was face to face with them but something in my being more interested in studying them as I found myself having walked into a certain situation, I have found them to mostly be people that are so lacking, so defective or corrupt that they either honestly believe that society owes them something, that missing out on life's opportunities makes it OK for them to take from another human being.
The corrupt ones have no conscience at all to begin with thats why they are abusers who the system either utilizes for this very trait or they are trying to avoid exposure of some vice they have.
Its really that simple. There are also people who are part of a corrupt system on a power trip, like the Boston police for instance..obviously. Centuries of one family line being cops doesnt say much for your ancestry, as they are up to the same bs they were 100 years ago. There is no way to keep cops from being corrupt as far as I am concerned. Society at the higher levels would have to stop demanding everyone behave yet they want thier vices...in this sense the cops ARE just doing thier jobs- as guardogs for the elite. As TI's we just dont see them as often as we do cops or perps. And we all know that police do some of the worst psychological damage as they have training and thier energy is very focused and violent. I am fortunate that most of the ocean of people who has come after me or engaged with me in this nonsense have been civilians who seem really pathetic, have flimsy ass training and are natures failures. The DNA pool of most civilian perpetrators of organized stalking and harassment should be destroyed or sterilized. Most of them are very beta or alphas who have gotten thier asses kicked by bigger alphas so the TI is someone they can lord over and due to them being genetic failures, weaklings, they NEED the group for power. They certainly do NOT suffer from a 'stand alone' complex that is for sure.

Most perps are defective in some way or have no animal magnetism, no finesse, no game or no personal dynamicism. The group going after a lion usually makes them feel validated...but just get them alone if you can. Roar at them and swat your huge paw, or slither up and strike for the throat stealthfully and you will see how very weak they are...for this reason they usually have peeps in the backround. Can you believe that? Organized stalking and harassment is so validated as an action of justice or national security or whatever thier rationale, that they destroy a human life with backup so that their little buddies dont get hurt. Gee, you think they need to be destroyed any way possible?? Most certainly I do believe that.

'The mob' (not the mafia) is dangerous and if you think any of these people remembers a Target or cares or recalls anything more than what they got for a reward for that behavior you are sadly mistaken. YOU were an assignment...youre not even human to them. Thier group and thier rewards are all that exist for them. You should however, sit around and savor the info I just gave you about them being mere cells making up tissue and that tissue making up organs and so on. And cells are expendable. Also. savor over how lacking they are so they must group together as one unit to exist in a legit meaningful way.

But dont ever kid yourself that they are going to 'get thiers', or a god will punish them (unless someone with that much influence wants in on these games as an equalizer...that IS possible), or that what goes around comes around becuz those or not logical solutions. When dealing with people that are deficient who need your blood to survive do not think twice about them sucking you dry and kicking the corpse to the curb becuz they WILL...and isnt that exactly what they have done?
Stop wishing and start destroying.
(and saving yourSelf, and preserving YOU and your sanity)

Here is a little tune to clue you in to what the situation is that you are dealing with. You can either be the victim or use it to your advantage. Its your Will.

Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath

Sunday, March 21, 2010

onmc.wordpress.com/2010/03/21/the-gang-stalking-campaign-against-women-in-relation-to-the-destruction-of-mc-survivors

http://onmc.wordpress.com/2010/03/21/the-gang-stalking-campaign-against-women-in-relation-to-the-destruction-of-mc-survivors/

Unmanned spy planes used on Mex border related to org stalk/harass

I saw a news story tonight related to this on tv in the Tent:
http://legacy.signonsandiego.com/news/nation/terror/20030610-1501-cnsborder.html

I notice that San Diego news compared to Boston is pretty dumbed down with very simple subject matter. But when it comes to any content to do with military I notice you get more content here than one would back east. The formula is this: tell the sheep (who dont care for politics) out here how its GOING to be and dont tell the people back east who are into thinking about things and having plenty of protest about it. Fill thier news conent with other things to keep thier busy minds occupied.

Also, I believe this being a largely military area, retired and otherwise, that explains the content being all of sudden NOT about fluff or bs.

The story was posed as a total biased piece. Its so good for the nation, its good for national security.
What I liked about it was it showed me exactly how these things work and that they can see you but that the plane is 5 1/2 miles out so YOU cant see IT. Also its showed that weather such as fog and clouds have the ability to stop thier survaillence dead so they loose sight of all activity.
(Which means two things:
-we are being ripped off as we should demand they fix that before paying contractors for those toys
- its obvious as can be that the very reason they showed that there is capacity for sight to be lost or survaillence to be interrupted at all was to show that if need be, sight can be lost on purpose if something needs to be pulled off. I am sure arranging that would be quite easy...plotting a trail under cloud cover on purpose...whatever. Its interesting that they had to show us in the demonstration for the public that clouds could get in the way of the planes doing thier jobs properly.
What this equals in total is that whoever runs these planes has total control via survaillence as well as any 'oops' moments of 'mistakes' that could happen..on cue I am assuming.

From what I have seen in this lifetime, total control means overt as well as control over covert.
The combination of the two affords those in the know total control.


The bit about the cloud cover and fog was interesting from a TI perspective due to my posting experiences around the nation with remote influence as well as other things involved seeming interupted by weather such as snow or clouds or especially thunder storms.

For TI's this can explain alot of what may be used to survaille. Just seeing it made me feel more validated in what I have been experiencing in the last many years. It seems that if one is not part of socially acceptable society, a gated community or a gentrified YUPpy community or an office or condo building with central air or part of something legit that one is treated much like these immigrants.

And I have mysteriously 'forgotten' over these last days to mention that at night a helicopter goes over The Tent many times over and over and also has hovered in one place and lingered for a time. Its most nights and its around 10pm-12am. Sometimes they fly very low.

And this is a place where seeing a military type copter at least once a day is not unusual during daylight hours so it poses the question as to what kind of copter are they using, police or military and for what purpose. From my bizarre experiences in this life, they can do more than just look believe me. They can scan and believe it or not- waterboard to get information without even touching you. Yes, this did happen to me in St Louis MO. It has not happened since but evertime I know that there is a low flying copter and especially it may be military....it is happening all over again. It will never go away for me. Especially since part of keeping me quiet as a victim witness during the federal investigation was having a black helicopter fly right near a window of a hotel I was staying in in Waltham MA of all places. It was somewhere in MA and I am almost 100% sure it was Waltham. This is around the time where the TV always kept switching by itself and other totally bizarre electronic malfunctions.
I wont even go into how helicopters flying low are used as harassment after the TI has been sensitized to them being used as part of the campaign. Black helicopters and white vans. Arent they just so neat and tidy.

Get ready for a mess you motherf*ckers. How dare you. Who do any of these people think they are, ruining MY life. And now that they have destroyed so much in the USA they want to sell us protection via more toys. Its just gone way to far at this point...and most of the public just does NOT know or they have been truamatized into a stupor.

I am never going to say 'wake up and get ready for..' like some sort of revolt or take over. That is the paranoia of the cold war 80's and the music of Mike and the Mechanics for that era. The real deal, when it comes down as it is now, is done so stealthfully that you dont hear it or see it or if you do you cant stop it. And all that takes to counter is strength of Will and of mind. Just to be aware of what is transpiring is enough. Intelligence and staying aware will piss them off more than anything else you can think of. There have been protests around the world for years now and its the continuation of the last hurrah my Gen X had in Seattle, where after that they sort of pronounced us dead and brought in Bush where then anyone from EarthFirst was a terrorist etc etc and so on. Before that time when Gen X told the cops 'the world is watching' that was true..with the Rodney King video it was definately true. But when one protester made that statement to a cop during that protest in the late 90's the cop's response was "No, they are NOT actually".
Dont be naive,. These are not the rubber soul wearing flat foots of the old days. These people are a force fully associated with psychological warfare and social control through media etc. Obviously by that statement he KNEW what time it was...time to bring in facsism. And it worked..all the way through the next administration.

If you look at YouTube for news content like that you'll see protests in many countries around the world. They just dont show them on the news here.

They would rather show you a bunch of people who are actually descended from the Natives of the America's trying to get onto thier own Native land while a bunch of immigrant Europeans keep them out. I understand that statement is naive and childish as far as politics goes but its written to demonstrate how humans can readily live in unreality and stand by a lie or an injustice becuz it is convenient or 'the way it is now'. Just becuz something is 'the way it is' does not mean it is logical or truth. Understanding that the USA is now a country not belonging to its native inhabitants due to the immigrant Europeans pretty much establishing the USA as a valid reality even though its stolen for the most part so legally shouldnt even exist...but to allow another precedent to be set by letting what is happening continue to go on is unecessary.

Lets draw the line in the sand NOW before it goes any further and becomes 'the way it is' becuz I know what these bastards are doing and that is what they are aiming for. It will be just like nuclear weapons..now that everyone has them they are here to stay.
Wondeful.

All this tech used for security would be just fine if there wasnt such capacity for gross misuse and abuse covertly.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Leave me alone, let me write my book and then I will commit suicide BUT NOT BEFORE

That story is going to be written and it WILL be the last thing I will do. It WILL be over my dead body.
However, I will not die before that. I will do everything in my power to not become unable to function in order to perform my last task. That story is the only thing that will make sense of my actions and of my life. Dont worry cuz we all know no one is going believe me, so yer all off the hook as it is now anyway. I can imagine that the talk concerning what ever happened to her? Is either some lie concerning a happy ending that Americans love to hear to cover up harsh reality or its consisting of that I became homeless due to either drugs or mental illness. The betrayers and the perps are covered on all fronts. I dont know why its so important to try to get me to off myself before writing that story. Anyone who knows about me and what happened to me is either being told a cover story or knows the horror of the truth and feels bad but refuses to act or is in on it and wants me dead due to thier part in it. There is a whole world of people out there who dont know about me, targeted individuals, gang stalking, covert activity, mind control programming or any such related subject matter.
You should see Cali. A woman described it yersterday as a place where people like to focus on 'fun' and having a good time. No one likes politics etc. Gee I guessed already. They dont like politics but they are more than capable of quoting scripture or leaning on God. Without the politics involved that is, to me, very dangerous.
I have noticed that everything is lax here. Its too warm for winter, too easygoing and far too...careless but not carefree. Its a strange combination of uptight and easygoing. I can deal with it for a few months but it gets depressing. And everyone is too conformist..I went to OB today, Ocean Beach. Everyone said it was an old hippie community. By the description of 'old' I should have realized nowadays that translates to 'gentrified'. It was ok I guess but its still all about money and those annoying expensive little compact dogs. And I did not see anything very close to anarchy there like in Berkeley CA where they live it in thier daily lives..for all thier clique bs that pissed me off, they actually readily reject the system. Everyone in OB had new gas guzzling cars. I am sorry but its just not gritty enough for me..and by 'gritty' I dont mean the scummy nuthouse that is downtown San Diego. Its like the USA purposely has done away with any environment that is gritty but sane and affordable. I heard it described once on a gen x MTV show that made fun of the gentrification that was just getting into swing then. We could make fun of it when we were in our 20's. Now its not funny anymore cuz the bastards we were trying to warn everyone about actually pulled it off and they added the horors that have come along with 9-11 and a police state. THAT I dont think we saw coming.
I notice though that everyone who was savvy left when they saw the line up of the Bush administration..I just didnt have the resources to understand that line up was the one close to Nixon and Ford when I was a kid.
This character described was a snobby girl and said to her friend "Oh I like your neighborhood..its funky without being freaky". Exactly...funky 'lite' is actually what they want now. Its all these reformed Boomers, 'never were cool' Gen X'ers and Gen Y and Millenials who have no idea what freedom is being raised in the new millenium, the military and the police state.

So OB was Obviously Bullsh*t .
I also will not live in a place that is also a popular tampon...one that no one should use as many of us have yet to figure out after 20+ years how to use them on the run due to the insertion process still being one of life's strictly female mysteries. And I dont want to know either.

Well if that did not either put a laugh into or ruin this writing on ...er what was I writing about. Oh, see I am downtown again and this place sucks but it is somehow not as depressing as going out of dowtown to the beach. And what is up with Old Town..its like stopping in the Twighlight Zone to catch a connector.

I know that much of old town is haunted but CA doesnt seem to handle haunted very well. I think its to do with the fault line the land is on...or something else I am not aware of. If you dont believe me about Old Town go look it up. I didnt know there were documented haunted buildings there until AFTER I had experienced it being too 'charged' for me to go through. When I found out Old Town historical center was haunted I felt better going through there. Many things in Boston are spooked as well but the land or the area holds it better..I dont know why that is. Its like there is so much structure in Boston, the way the buildings are built and the way the city is set up it makes it...it seems to make energies behave and stay within structure.

Well, I guess I am only comfortable in certain places. But when I feel that bad I do keep telling myself that the book comes before any relief I may gain from leaving the body. This system will not drive me to that before I put down just how they drive someone to this end anyway. Its worth telling and I want to be sure that as an expendable that everyone would be more comfortable seeing dead, that I leave something behind to make ecveryone jsut a bit uncomfortable permanently. Why should the destroyers win everytime they murder an expendable mind controlled slave this way?

And everyone outside of this system doesnt care about us anyway.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Recall of people from the TI's past

Ha ha cute title.
OK tell the system or my brain to stop giving me flashes of my ex! Stooooop it. He doesnt exist! He's probaly on the Riveira somewhere with his Hollywood or other rich kid friends clicking glasses and lauffing about who they f*cked over to get where they are today.

Everyone I used to know waits for one thing and one thing only: for that wonderous moment when all the pressure and thier actions years ago pays off and I either finally off myself, get jailed or labeled complete with going into an institution.
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Most likely by now they are all pretty satisfied with the railroading the system has done and they consider me officially 'out of the way' status. Everyone got what they 'paid for'. So why should I still be thinking about this guy I havent seen in years?

More torture thats why. How long has it been since I have seen this guy in person? Years. And for years I have to think about him everyday. Its just another way for this system to wear down the target's mind, like a raindrop on a rock wearing it into sand over time.

I moved my bed so I dont have to deal with that wench over there. Only 2 more weeks and I must decide to get a room and start assembling book or get on road again.

Hmph as if system will allow me to have any peace.

Watch if I get a new place: mysteriously a new very noisy contruction project that lasts for months will start on my street, or a new neighbor will move in and be noisy and unapologetic. Or the beep twice brigade will start driving by the place.

No matter where I have lived I have ALWAYS been targeted I just never realized that was what all that 'bad luck' was. Home entries, everything. And it made me nuts over the years so I dont want to hear about what a noisy neighbor I WAS. If people dont like it then they need to call the cops with a disturbing the peace not mess with me further.

I will never again be housed. I will write my book and I will plan a nice pyre. A needle in my arm, a gun to my head and a pyre out in an undisclosed desert location. This system and this world will NEVER complete thier behavior modification. Never.
----------------------------------------
My friend is watching O, Brother, Where Art Thou on her mini DVD player. Its interesting that the clan seems to hate Catholics as well as Jews and blacks. Thier main concern is thier heritage and thier "old tyme religion". This ties in closely with Nazi beliefs and I wonder how closely tied in the two are. What is more intesting is how many African Americans were involved in the gang stalking in large groups. Could they work with clan types or are all these groups part of some sort of big network..it would be nice to know who is behind this once and for all.

How can one tell when one has perps making it clear that they are Satanists at first then there are heavy handed Christians? Some white supremisists with actual Brotherhood tattoos and then a large number of African Americans? Juggalos. A Catholic nun (New Mexico), or trust fund kid Jews? Its probably to make the TI look really nuts in the end. And its to confuse the TI and make them crazy over time due to the fact they can never know who was responsible for the harassment.

gang stalking system working on TI weaknesses to further its destruction

yes I know that last post had my racial issues being from Boston rearing its ugly head.and thats strange to some people considering the girl I hang out with now is African American. But that is honestly how I feel and that is what this blog is about. Showing people the changes that one goes through as well as what happens to a TI start to finish. I shouldnt even be homeless to begin with. As for my own history of being messed with by people in black ghettos in Boston before I was targeted one of my dream projects was to get people with racial issues into a form of group interaction (NOT therapy as we are all tired of that industry treating us like children and lab rats) where things might be discussed and many people may come to an understanding with each other, but being a realist I know not ALL people would. But some would. Those are odds I am comfortable betting on.

However, pipe dreams of 'peace' born out of desperation that utilize social control tactics like Political Correctness are not about true understanding between peoples...it is about fascism and a police state. Making people behave publically while not healing thier wounds privately creates only ONE condition: A COLD WAR.

Grow up and stop being delusional and a good little cult member as world peace or an NWO is not realistic and if it IS then you are a sucker working for the oppressor who is decieving you. Destroying people so they behave in the interest of peace for the larger mass is unacceptable.

Isnt obvious that the oppressor wants to block efforts at true healing or understanding so that control over a population can be gained by intimidation and fear?

I would rather see outright HONEST evil than the sick, sneaky cult minded bs that IS pc and the NWO.

And remember that making the TI into a monster by working on thier wounds is how the gang stalking system destroys its targets and gets them more smear to work with.

Finally had it out with the b*tch next to me/ more on mold/Mike Judge is a sell out(well duh)

I finally had it with the woman next to me who hangs out with the woman I came in hear with as friends. It wasnt over that issue its becuz she has this manner about her that can be bitchy. Her and the other Girl #1 have been dominating the area lately and yes, that rubs in the incident but since I am more adult than that I ignore how I feel about that. But after being woken up this morning by them being loud talking to some other women and basically ignoring the women mentioning they woke me up (especially girl #1 who seems to think she is some genius smarter than other people...reads David Icke's books and cant seperate the info from the mis/dis info...point made.)

Then staff sprayed bleach near my bed. I mentioned it and they were very receptive. Like I said I am impressed with the staff in the Alpha Project. And they dont let clients touch the cleaning chemicals like at some other places I wont mention. These people are actually responsible.
It was Girl #2. She just could not shut up about "I like it, it smells good to me" and then mentioning that she is tired of smelling unclean women. If she was talking about me its doesnt apply becuz I shower everyday. THen eventually she comes out with that she doesnt want to smell p-ssy and she is sick of smelling it. "Unclean women" she stated in a phrase as a label I assume. It sounded like a preacher saying it, and that is often the way she ununciates her speech. With that kind of conviction. Annoying yes. But its intolerable when she is invalidating someone..THEN I have a problem with preacher girl.

I wont have my allergies invalidated by an ignorant laymen whos belief system is not based on logic. I have had by allergies and my mold exposure attempted to be invalidated by people alot scarier than her (like Olnick and thier people who as Lou Ghepetti put it "They tried to put you into a little cell so they didnt have to pay" for the damage to my health). I laughed once when an episode of King of the Hill had the little boy reciting that the US govt has established that mold exposure is harmless to humans..I immediately brought up my mental files concerning the military's use of mycotoxins for bio warfare, especially Yellow Rain, which burns the skin off the flesh of the enemy. Bobby Hill has alot to learn about life outside drinking bear on the corner and saying "yep" to each other. Ah but what do you expect from a guy like Mike Judge who works for MTV (mindless television) and sold out his generation by going from Beavis and Butthead to focusing on a TV show starring the old guy those two used to terrorize. Mike Hill is obviously based on the 'surviver of two foriegn wars' that caught Beavis 'thwacking' off in his trailer in the movie. Nice transition into adulthood dude. But watching Beavis and Butthead now watching the show outside of his clever self expression (basically talking to his selves as he does both characters) I see that he was always about chaos and spreading disorder. It has been said even on TV that he single handedly destroyed the band Winger, who I believe had a member that was from a more famous band prior, with just that t-shirt that nerd kid used to wear all the time that had the bands logo on it. Hmmmm.)

Anyway, the debate may roll on but its obvious who the interested parties are.

The people in denial who want mold to appear harmless to human beings are most likely real estate types and building owners. Do you realize how much money would have to be spent if the rest of the US had laws like CA does concerning mold levels in buildings for human habitation?(and yes I did just mention that to show there is a state setting a precedent.)
The people who want us to believe that all molds are harmful to every human beings in any dose are most likely the types to make money off of restorations and clean ups.

So you have two sides to the argument that are money driven.

It seems that only certain molds under certain conditions will affect only certain kinds of people, like infants, the elderly and the immuno deficient or comprimised. Certain people have allergies to molds as well.

That seems to be the reality of the situation opposed to a struggle akin to two animals fighting, which seems to be what Americans prefer as a reality opposed to solving anything or getting anything done or established.

So we got into it finally after I had it with this bl*ck bitch act she has all the time and told her that I will not be invalidated and that she is domineering and I am tired of it. She dominates the whole area and its gotten out of hand now that she is friends with A., and no one is going to like this but its true: when one kind of people get too numerous in a concentrated area they start to take over and think they can do as they please. Its only human nature and I have seen it many times before. One thing about human beings that makes my life easier as well as boring to tears is their predictability. You can always count on human beings to do the same stupid sh*t over and over again and not learn anything from it.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Rising American involvement in terrorism..duh once again

Does this piss you off cuz when I saw this I definetly got annoyed. Bad.
http://www.aolnews.com/story/recent-cases-show-challenge-of-us/954477

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_AMERICAN_JIHADISTS?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2010-03-17-17-25-5
(incidentally the photo was different just hours ago when I first started this post and my computer died so I had to re write it. There was a photo of a woman from Pennsylvania and if this is the same woman she looked a hell of alot better in the last photo. It was taken in a structure that was outside like a bus or those lifts to go skying or see mountains in. She was a blonde with imperfect uneven bone structure but she looked much more 'Main St'-ish as this is what the article is trying to drive home. Now she looks like a female serial killer. Hmm not very 'Main St' right? So why was the pic changed. And the story has since gone from the original site I saw it on first. With the same 'Main St' picture.)

Why? Becuz this means one of two things concerning gang stalking:
Either-
*the gang stalking movement is part of a covert war on terror
-and people like me have been thrown out as bait or diversion away from terrorists involved in Jihad and Islam or just to go against the USA (whatever thier motive is for being that kind of terrorist)
-or I was framed covertly and the gang stalking is covert warfare against covert terrorists so it was easy to do
- or just as easy to use that system to get rid of anyone inconvenient by throwing them in the mix of suspected terrorists as its all covert activity.

*the ganstalking movement and all related activity IS the terrorism that is destroying the country.
GEE I WONDER WHY PEOPLE ARE BETRAYING THE USA? Gee I wonder why..
There may be something more sinister going on.
How clever would it be to harass people into being those very terrorists?

Do you realize how mamy times anyone who is targeted thinks of turning on thier country? If anyone is targeted to the extent of say ME FOR INSTANCE they would be lying if they didnt admit to coming to that point or even surpassing it.

Turning against ones country of origin for a TI is akin to going postal finally, except with more stealth, planning and a network of other people.
Anyone who has been tortured to this extent is expected to turn which IS WHAT THE SYSTEM WANTS. That should have been obvious by now.

In my case for instance I was very suspect about how many people in on this were giving me advice to leave the country. I knew it was a frame up and it is..duh. But unlike other TIs due to my situation being life long and intergenerational 'the system' has been harassing me minimally for years, keeping me on edge and also always there were these attempts at setting me up. When I was a drug user all these morons who thought I was stupid wud try to set me up by running drugs. It was always the same suggestion, that I would run drugs for them and how easy it would be and all this bs. My programming and guidance system took care of their asses for me. Chanel this light skinned black madam I used to babysit for, her man was in jail and of course eventually her mother asked me on the phone if I wanted to run drugs. She got to me when I was desperate living in this dive in Lynn strung out of my mind. So I am a mess and strung out so how am I going to get past customs. Chanel was the kind of career criminal who's mom had also been a career cri9minal and a 'player'. She used to do credit card scams with the mail man or steal from school teachers purses. Her kids went to private school and she had a mercedes and an RV in the driveway of a shitty neighborhood. Welcome to the hood, where criminals are hiding out and doing business where suckers like you think everyone is a poor person. I also had some moron from the drug house I went to when I was a kid before I met Chanel, ask me the exact same question and he sounded just as full of sh*t as Chanels mom. I got caught once in part of her scam and she never paid me for the restitution that I had to pay for the shit SHE stole. So I guess I just took what I owe. Dont worry cuz itll happen to every single one of them who crossed me. Or owes me and thinks debts dont get paid. The Templars were bankers remember. And Jaques de Molay said a few words as he burned and they all paid soon after as well.


OK back to whats at hand.
If you are targeted the system will try to bait you, trigger you or frame you. You better be prepped for it. I was lucky. A bunch of Irish guys showed up at this place I was staying, hung out with me and some new friends I made (2006 or 7) and then at one point one of them dropped it on me that "once you leave the country then you are a threat". I still dont get exactly what he was on about but I thought I may have something to do with terrorism or a set up involving that. Also I was not going to leave due to that making me look MORE guilty of whatever federal investigation bs the system was pushing as cover story.
There is always a cover story and everyone should knoew that by now.

So think before you act out becuz I think one possible scenerio could be the system trying to torture people into turning against the USA and gang stalking after such loss and betrayal would certainly do it.

Eveyone who has been tortured to this point has thought about turning on thier country. When natural patriotism wears out, and there will be a time where you become clinically insane and have to compartmentalize it due to being tortured and brain damaged so severely, there will come a point where anyone, programmed or NOT would snap. When patriotism is no longer enough, when you have exhausted that and gone beyond it what is left?

REVENGE.

Just see it this way: the very system that f*cked you up so badly to this point is still asking you to give blood. And with arrogance they believe they can actually tortuer you and brainwash you into it.

Pose this question to yourself: Why would I give the very system that did this to me what it wants? NOT letting your Will be interfered with is the ultimate in not being robbed by this system. Getting your power of Will to work for THEM is thier goal and believe me they will make it work for them and make it work against YOU.

You never want to play into the hands of this system. Its a very difficult task- NOT giving in to being docile and compliant via accepting the terms of behavior modification but also not giving in to snapping or vengence so it serves the people who are trying to destroy you. (by you becoming destructive).

THis system wants to cut you down and make you managable and that means either suicide, institutionalization or you becoming a person that you do not want to be either via giving in to being a sheep or becoming a killer. BOTH leave you managed by this system. And BOTH are the death of the true Self. The ultimate goal is erasing who you really are in favor of something that serves thier needs not yours.

Its understandable that living through Bush staying in office and that horror show then Obama getting in, all due to circumstances not choice really, would make any of us angry. And Americans have a right to be hateful of thier nation and pissed off.
But one has to question exactly who is pulling the strings on this one..and by 'this one' I mean since 2001 and one could even say back to Reagan. If anyone tortured hard enough claims that it has never run through thier minds to support terrorists or join Jihad or turn towards enemies of the USA they wud by lying. But then you sit there and immediately realize that this is what the system wants. For anyone targeted with covert warfare its not about the overt enemies or characters in the popular play that the public sees. WE have only to look at where our Will is going. Any and all alterations of the Will power towards actions that we would normally not have considered before MEANS WE ARE BEING ALTERED AND MODIFIED..it matters not what side we are thinking about joining.

Dont get lost in the details. Think about who you were before 2003, before being targeted 24/7. This is who you are naturally suppposed to be not this other person that has been falsely altered as events in the timeline have been falsely altered.
Just becuz darkness opens a portal does not mean one must go along with it and become dark..keep something lit. Keep something that remains from before and thus you keep your balance.

Besides the system stole from you. They took what was supposed to rightfully be yours. Dont let them now use you as a tool for thier own ends.
I have been told that locals are reading my work..oh boy. This opens a new area for me.

Well like everyone else they can just think I am nuts I guess or they can do their homework like I have for years and realize how insane the system is for what is does to human beings.

Also I am not trying to cause trouble or be a jerk, I have experienced nothig but abuse of power my whole life and its impossible for me to overlook what is grossly unfair. Its natural for me to speak out after the way my life has been.

I know that the women and men who work in the homeless shelter system care about people or they would not be here. Some however only work in this field due to not being able to act appropriately in other workplaces or as a power trip. I acknowledge that San Diego has many caring workers employed here, I noted that in my past blogs. Also its never easy to deal with the severely mentally ill as well as other demographics of homeless..one never knows what to expect when approached. It makes it hard for all of us who ARE functional and sane just becuz Reagan cut all the institutions out in hte 80's. The only good thing abou this is that thos people cannot be overtly abused by the system now. I said OVERTLY.

I also feel that Rachels Day center IS a safe place away from the street life and I feel it everytime I walk through the door. The blog is just my venting space and lately its been alot of venting but I do try to be honest and fair and there DOES need to be improvement in every shelter I have been in the whole system in fact. THAT can only be done from higher up levels anyway.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Skepticism for Targeted Individuals blogpost 3-15-10

http://skeptictarget.blogspot.com/2010/03/petitions-as-part-of-activism.html

Privacy Concerns

In the case of privacy and safety concerns of other homeless residents I have either refrained from using any names or tags at all or I have used a letter to tag a first name. Due to recent privacy concerns from readers in the homeless scene I will now use completely made up words or refer to my characters as Girl #1,#2 and so on. If anyone has a privacy concern please comment on any of my blogs with instructions NOT to post but a message only. If I am in your area you may reach me in person with any concerns. The names of staff were only first names but I am now using just initials. If that is still a concern please contact me.

Other than not wanting to jeapordize the safety of other homeless MY WORK STILL STANDS AS IT IS and I will stand by it totally and completely. However in the event I must defend myself from further harassment or foul play or plots of evil design as defined in the Jurist Prudence, one need only keep in mind that my book is going to be a sci fi novel and at any time I may claim "Its only a blog, its only art". I am genuinely concerned about the safety of other women and fellow homeless and targets. But I do use this as a forum for self defence and to illustrate just how dire of a situation is being targeted, being homeless and the combination of both. Often the nature of these situations is the use of covert warfare and if I am isolated with not enough support at any given time in any given area I WILL use this work to defend myself as well as defend my continuing efforts at producing a definative work that will expose corruption in many areas of society that common citizens seem very ignorant about.

Basically, my goals are lofty and altruistic but if I am crossed I am a human animal like any other. And anyone who gets in the way of my work will see just how far I will go to get the job done as planned.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

More on mold exposure and mycotoxicosis

"Some of these natural mycotoxins include a very strong class known as trichothecenes. Trichothecenes are also produced by several common molds including species in the genera Acremonium, Cylindrocarpon, Dendrodochium, Myrothecium, Trichoderma, and Trichothecium. The trichothecenes are potent inhibitors of DNA, RNA, and protein synthesis, and have been well studied in animal models because of concern about their potential misuse as agents of biological warfare, due to their ability to destroy human health (mentally and physically), and never appear in an autopsy."

http://www.mold-help.org/

TI guide to homelessness blog post 3-13-10

http://homelessti.blogspot.com/2010/03/another-case-of-who-you-can-trust-as-ti.html

Becuz I am so far gone lately I am really using these blogs as a sounding board as I dont have any close support. I also seem to gain assistance in some way if I keep connected in this way. I really hate using this as my journal as its supposed to be just for educational purposes. In some places are so horrendous to deal with that I need to use the blogs for this as I cannot readily fight the effects of either outright stalking and harassment or what seems like remote influence from tech or other means.

I was awakened last night again at around 3 or 4. This seems like my normal sleeping habit even back at 335 Washington st in Brighton MA. Its good for being able to experience not only quiet and darkness-stillness in the outdoor environment and people sleeping around me but the obvious lack of influence from what TI's believe is tech due to great progress in technologies in the past few decades.

I never thought about the idea that I am such a sensitive that I am reacting to the collective conshusness of a population around me. I do feel much better when in a city at certain times of day like dusk when there are very few people roaming around and nightime when the sun is gone and the energy is more fun and people are hunting a good time. Dusk is wonderful, as the light is not bright yet. It just looks more normal, a smaller amount of people around. I just wonder if there are so many humans on the planet that its causing a world wide anxiety at least for some of us. Too many minds and to many energy fields at once....I dont know.

As usual this morning was the bliss of mental NON activity. Of no interface, no ideations, no visions, no feelings of anxiety or mental jamming. Just ME and the cool, quiet dark which is always like a wonderful empty canvas. I always hated the daytime and when I did start to grow up and evolve out of that to start enjoying certain things about daytime living, the system started to come after me with gang stalking and in 2003 it became 24/7. So I dont like the daytime now as it provides the most torture but I am older and cant just stay up all night long and crash during the day anymore. Even if I could where is there a shelter where one can sleep during the day and stay up at night? There isnt one, though there should be...and it should be in a steel and concrete structure with metal roofing. Thats my damn fantasy at this point. A frickin TI shelter, and everyone who comes to stay there is screened in a grey area so that no one gets harassed with psychological warfare bs.

At night in this shelter however I do experience what seems like very mild shocks before falling asleep but that has been going on wherever I sleep for a few years now. My limbs will actually flex like in a reflex test.
And I feel observed there. Not by any one who is there physically either. This feeling leaves me when I get out of the shelter and on the street outside.

There are plenty of shelters I have felt this same feeling and one of them was Joy Junction but you can see the cameras there, overtly on the walls. At least they have that much decency to let you see your being observed.

Again it might be remote ideations from some other source.

(I have been pretty impressed most of the staff at this place and they dont mess with people. They mind thier business and most of the residents do to.One can sleep if needed. Pretty chill.Safe.)

Friday, March 12, 2010

ONMC Wordpress 3-12-10

http://onmc.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/gang-stalking-induces-ptsd/

assault be Albertson's employee part 2

I forgot to add last night due to being upset by that incident and tired som info.

after reviewing the video the cops became overtly intimidating whereas before when it was suspected that something might show up overtly on the tape it was preventitive measures and trying to sway my opinions and trying to persuade me to percieve events differently. After the tape was veiwed the persuasion style turned more coercive.

They then started to say things about his actions being valid due to him being a citizen that felt a crime was being committed and THE DARK HAIRED COP ACTUALLY SAID THAT HIM PUTTING HIS HANDS ON ME WAS ACCEPTABLE. What is interesting is that he had to wait to see the tape to start that line of pretzel logic.

I then repeated that is security's job and that he is not a citizen he is acting on behalf of Albertson's- who have security for that issue.
I did not mention this but I was already on what seemed to be city property (the sidewalk) but some stores actually own the sidewalks now so I dont know if he overstepped his juristiction. Either way he did wrong becuz if he is on the clock and on thier property his is acting on THIER behalf. If he is on city property then he has overstepped his rights becuz he is acting as their employee not a private citizen.

Thier response to this was to begin yet another inappropriate analogy: "OK say you were in a mom and pop store and they couldnt afford security and..." a similar scenerio. I again pointed out that this was NOT a mom and pop store and that they plainly had security.
That is when these two men towered over me and began the intimidating looks, the ones that are right into one's eyes. What they couldnt get with tactics they were going to get by being men and being in a superior position of power.

So the whole time I was treated basically like I was under suspicion for something, as if I was stopped under suspicion of shop lifting. I had shown my reciept and only called them due to being assaulted.

The whole situation was treated like Albertson's decided to call them and I was under suspicion. Especially the female cop showing up briefly as well as the way they ended it, asking if there was an order for me to leave the store and the other cop saying that I had my reciept so there was no issue with me leaving.

That shows that it was all along being handled on the side of THE STORE and their mentality was set with defending the store against crime not a citizen.

The Albertson's employee is a man of Mexican extraction, perhaps mixed with Caucasian. He is short in stature of med built. He seemed older and deconditioned maybe early to mid 40's. He has markings that make him easy to ID: he has birth marks or some other cause of discoloration on his face, light black blotches on both sides of his face. He is a lowly employee. He speaks English very well. He is aggressive it seems especially disregarding female's rights as well as oversteps his boundaries obviously. This man has severe anger and aggression issues and needs anger management. He should be considered dangerous to tdeal with alone as he will lie about his violent actions to protect himself.

I would be very leary of the local police who before now I had not contact with at all in any way that was negative. The cops that answered the call were younger and inexperienced but had enough experience to have the act down to act on behalf of the power structure instead of citizens.

I may bitch and moan about Boston but this would have never happened there so sloppily.

This man should have either called police, gotten security and then security should have gotten in front of me to get my attention. Grabbing a single female from behind on a dark street is not acceptable under any conditoins. Due to this man's cultural backround I believe that violence towards women or 'machismo' may be acceptable. I am not Mexican I wouldnt know. I am Italian where disrespect is not tolerated from strange men on the street. Your intent is to abuse if you touch some strange woman without anyone else around.

Also dont try to cloud legalities by saying I then percieve things differently due to MY backround. Its illegal what he did and if its NOT then we need a serious revamp of the system here in San Diego especially. And if what he did is not illegal then why werent the police more friendly and helpful? Why was I intimidated by two men when I had just been assaulted by a man?

Its a wake up call for San Diego, its PD and the corporate overlords here in Gaslamp dowtown. I am not stupid and I am not from CA. I am however upset, pissed off and highly offended by the sexism involved as well as the coddling of a local corporate entity and an obviously dangerous male who should NOT be working with the public at all.

The guy should be fired and never allowed to work with the public again unless he attends anger management and the store is not so California LAZY and LAX about thier protocol or policies about exactly which employees are authorized to stop suspected shop lifters. And by the way I notice that thier survaillence system that is all over the store failed them as they did not catch me NOT shoplifing but sent a common floor employee out to handle me violently. Then that very same survaillence system did not serve me either to prove yet a different crime was commited. After spending all that money, the store had a lowly, violent male who was NOT security come out and handle the situation violently and in a very primitive animalistic manner.

So all that money and security system does not work anyway and it was handled by males using thier muscles to solve the problem as if it were like 1000 years ago..or even 100.

Nice job corporate America, and lets here if for progress and technology.

Has my activism over these years still not proven to you that until man fixes and faces HIMSELF technology is useless. A bunch of enhanced apes toying with machines.

They didnt need cameras and an expensive system to have a male use his superior physical strength to assault me, and roughly interrigate me and then use cops as private guard dogs to protect 'the castle' from a peasant..becuz that is how this whole thing went down.

I will never forget this and if a lawyer cant do something to get the guy fired (forget money, I dont want it I want justice) I will personally make everyone's life miserable and slag this store for the rest of my life. Opportunities tend to present themselves and I will be waiting as long as I am breathing.

The young cop, the green eyed one with the large pupils who zones out, tried to get me to change my opinion yet one last time as I was leaving. I was getting my things together and he said "Dont you think this is just adding to your stress?" Once again it was 'forget it, let it go' on behalf of the power structure.

No dearest. In fact it makes me see that my whole life has been about an extremely corrupt power structure abusing me and cops usually laughing about it..just like the laugh he shared with the female cop who seemed more of a jerk than the two males. At least the dark haired one had some decency in the end and said "There is not CONLCUSIVE" evidence after I worked with what was on the tape.

Oh to conclude, due to that cop finally getting honest and saying the words "Conclusive" instead of making it sound like they had a vid of him NOT grabbing me, I went outside and looked at the area that he grabbed me in--it was right in between the two outside cameras which point in opposite directions. This means that there is most likely footage of us interacting (Thus the cops response "I cant answer that question" when asked if there if footage of us interacting at all) but the video most likely has a blind spot there when he grabbed me.

what about this then?

http://www.google.com/search?q=store+employee+assaults+customer+suspected+shoplifting&hl=en&rls=com.microsoft%3Aen-us&sa=2

http://network.nationalpost.com/NP/blogs/toronto/archive/2009/05/25/store-employees-beat-suspected-shoplifter.aspx

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I was assaulted by an employee at Albertson's downtown San Diego (not gang stalking related)

I have suffered so much injustice at the hands of this system that my life will never be the same. This time I will not back down.

I wonder if a phone call was made or if there is something on the computers that cops have that says that I am targeted or that I am enemy of the state or that the cops screwed me up so bad in Boston that my life has basically been ruined. Or if the way I was treated during this incident is just the standard now in the USA which actively supports corporate interests not its citizens any longer.

I was leaving Albertson's food store at 6:40 pm tonight in San Diego CA. 655 14th street.

I had not taken a plastic bag due to being against them for environmental reasons. I use a blue shopping bag for all my purchases from stores and this time was no different. As I walked out of the store and to the left I was grabbed from behind. I was pulled physically backward by the bags on my shoulders by someone very roughly. I had earphones in and so was shocked at this action. My earphones fell out and I turned to see a man in my face still holding onto my bags on my shoulders he was aggressively raising his voice asking me "Do you have a reciept for these things?" and I said "yes". He then said "where is it?" and then was still aggressive to me as we entered the store. He was saying something as I was in front of him and I believe it was "you better get in there" or similar continued harassment and aggression towards me. I told the management at the desk he put his hands on me and he was now near the entrance/exit, he stated loudly "No, I didnt" and then disappeared off into the store. Management was more concerned with if I had a reciept or not and they were not as aggressive but they were rude and all anyone cared about was if I had a reciept or not.

I produced my reciept and told them I do not use plastic for environmental reasons. You could sense that they knew they screwed up. Everyone agreed with me that I had a right to be upset due to him putting his hands on me which he shouldnt have done even if I was stealing. What amazes me most is that they really felt that if I was shoplifting that these actions were validated in some way.

I then asked for security and asked for the police to be called.

The manager called security and claims she called the non emergency police.

Security came to me and asked to take down my information and then asked me to identify the employee who grabbed me. The customer service counter people told the security guard that they knew the man's name, they knew who it was.
One of the first things I mentioned after telling me that he put his hands on me was "see this guy here? Hes security. That is who should be dealing with shoplifting as he has training." I then added that I find it strange in such a heavily military town that the situation was not dealt with via proper protocol.
I also added which maybe I shouldnt have that I was not even from here but from Boston. Yes I was using my outdoor voice for sure but management was very good with this and agreeing that I had ever right to be upset.

They finally asked me if I wanted to sit down. I sat in the little area in front of Pete's coffee. I had sat there peacefully in the past after making purchases and the female manager even stated that she has seen me in there many times before and always peacably.

The security guard then came over and stood in front of me as I sat down waiting for police to arrive. I asked him why he was taking my info down if perhaps he would be the one who would function as laison when they arrived. He said it was part of his job to take down the incident for his log.

As he left I continued to wait for police to arrive. I called a friend who I felt comfortable with in case of emergency. He told me to get a police report made, to call the police myself instead of trusting the store to do so and when I did call them to state that I needed an officer or unit to come due to being 'assaulted by an Albertson's employee'. While I was waiting the manager said that they would view the security video to see what occured. My friend also told me to ask the police to view the video tape and if Albertsons lost the video or anything else suspect then I should ask to see the video or for them to prove that he didnt grab me via the video tape.

I waited until 7:20 or so and the police had still not arrived. During the interum I asked security if police were on thier way and he said he did not think so, asked if they were called and said that was it really and to get the number and call tomorrow.
Uh, I wasnt going for that so I asked management and they said the cops were indeed called.

I heeded my friends advice. I called myself and the operator asked what happened. There was some nonsense at first like her saying "So he suspected you of shoplifting?" I stopped that dead and basically repeated that I needed police there due to being assaulted by an Albertson's employee AND NOTHING ELSE. She said that police were called when asked, but she also said that a different location was given by whoever called so that is why they had not arrived yet. (!)

they did arrive at around 7:20 to 7:30 (it will be in the incident report the exact time, I was busy being upset and trying to deal with a slight reaction connected to my prior anaphyactic shock- I cant be upset like that with adrenaline pumping as it brings on or can bring on syptoms that are similar or part of those affects from the anyphalixis from the Bactrim pill a few months ago).
One officer dealt with me as the other dark haired one was on the radio in the backround. This officer that dealt with me was young with green eyes large pupils I recall.
The officer asked me what happened and I told him exactly what occured outside. There was a video camera right behind him in this area, alot of them in fact so I suppose if anyone wants to really know how they dealt with me, watch the video. I recall only that he asked me what happened and I told him. He then began to try to discuss with me what my opinion was on what happened. He also then tried to start making a slant on what happened and explain it away in favor of Albertson's and thier employee(s). I became aware that I was being either intimidated or that I was being swayed by the officer about the incident and I then became nervous due to that being traumatizing on top of what had happened to me. I became so scared that the police would try to intimidate me further that I told the officer that I was not comfortable discussing the incident in this manner, and I did not want any thing but to file a police report, to view the video or have them view it and was not comfortable discussing any opinions or philosophy on what had happened to me. I then became aware that the officer would not cease and dissist his attempts to 'discuss' what occured and he even mentioned something about having an open mind about this. I felt that they were not doing thier jobs in the best interest of the public or of the alleged victim in this instance. I then asked to be excused while I called my friend back. The officer actually told me that he would prefer that I did not make any phone calls at this time and talked to him instead. He would not stop insisting on discussing what occured and interjecting his opinions until I told him again that I was not comfortable discussing what occured in any form and when I mentioned the anaphylactic shock I suffered which still have residual effects when I am upset, and called it a medical condition outright that prevented me from discussing the attack with him any further he THEN stoppped.

During all of this the officers were both intimdating and at times rude to me in showing thier authority. I felt as if I was being baited many times and used all my know how to stay very calm even though I was jsut grabbed from behind in the dark in a dangerous area of a major city by an aggressive male. The officers actions served to get me almost to the point of a reaction that could have gone into something worse so I needed him to stop. He only did so as I mentioned above, after I stated I had a medical condition.

However his insistence on basically changing my opinion about what happened, telling me not to make any phone calls to my outside support and even basiclaly insisting that we discuss the issue in such a manner after I clearly did not want to do so at the risk of being further upset is absolutely outrageous.
basically this man was demanding I let him tell me what to think about what occured. I dont believe that is in his job description. ANd I believe I had the right to only give him pertinent information not be forced to discuss it with him to his liking.

They also both behaved like I was the one who did something wrong during these proceedings. At one point I found myself almost in tears due to thier intimidation as well as feeling like if I did not kiss thier asses that I might be taken in for some infraction. Especially due to their obvious baiting attempts.

I called my friend and told him that they werent going to let me file a report until they had determined that a crime had occured. The dark haired officer who was taller went to watch the video tape after I saw him getting the Albertson's employee's side of the story. I couldnt help but hear them talking due to the fact that THE OTHER OFFICER INTERVIEWED THE EMPLOYEE RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME as I was trying to tell my side to the other officer. This made me distracted as I told my version of events and it was rather traumatizing to once again see the asailant in this fashion.

The dark haired officer returned and said it was a misunderstanding and that the employee got in front of me never grabbed me. I then interjected about the video tape and asked if they could view it or if I could view it. The officers reaction was rude and arrogant basically once again having to keep control of the situation through intimidation. He replied "I will watch it YOU dont get to watch it." See what I mean? And this is the way they treat a woman who was grabbed from behind at night in this neighborhood. ALLEGEDLY..I know I know. It had yet to be proven.

The officer with the green eyes then tries again to talk to me and I dont wish to...I stayed resistent to further attempts to alter my attitude or even to gain knowledge of my attitude about the situation. Such attempts included him saying such things as "what would you think if you saw someone with a bag like that" blah blah. It was all damage control obviously. His job is not to try to soften the situation or influence my feelings on it. Its also my right to not listen to that or to not speak at all- even if I was the one under arrest I believe its my right to not speak. As the victim I believe its my right not under by claiming the 5th but by that not being part of my obligation at that time and not part of his job.

He then said "Do you want to talk to me or be on the phone?" I stalled further attempts by him to 'discuss' the situation further in this manner by trying to make a phone call. I also told him that my friend who is 7 months pregnant went to the emergency room today and I needed to check up on that situation as well while we waited. He seemed to enjoy me having to reason or beg him out of trying to 'talk' to me any further.

And I pose this: If nothing did indeed occur and the employee was indeed in the right (which had not been established yet due to the cop not seeing the video) then why the constant talking geared towards me 'having an open mind' about this or other attempts to alter my feelings on the ALLEGED situation? Hmmmmm.

I called my friend finally and told him that they would not file a report becuz the employee says he did nothing wrong as well as the manager said that she viewed the tape and saw nothing there. I told my friend that the cops were pulling this though they had not seen the tape themselves. He was..confused, to say the least.

The other policeman then returned shortly after my phone call. He said that there was nothing on the tape to support my claim but he stated it in a way that was misleading and made it sound like the store employees claims of a totally different version of events was proven by the tape.

By the way during waiting for this cop to return, a female cop came in and this was also intimidating as I felt she was there in case of an incident involving me having to be searched or taken into custody. I was on the phone but I saw the young green eyed cop telling her a version of events I was sure was the store clerks and not mine where when he was done she laughed it off and left the area. He did this right in front of me and when I stopped my phone call to listen to what version of events he was giving her, he looked at me and said "Do you want to listen to ME or be on the phone?" So I was by that statement then intimidated into not hearing what he was saying and returning to my phone call.

As I was detailing, the cop had finally returned and was saying that everyone now considered it a misunderstanding. The cop was very confident about this ONLY AFTER HE HIMSELF VIEWED THE TAPE. Which tells me that with all the other crap they were pulling, the intent from the beginning was white wash, he just needed to make sure that the tape supported thier collective version.

I then somehow through something I said got into the part of the dark haired cop that was still...a cop for the people. I grilled him nicely about the tape and asked "Is there any part of the tape that shows us interacting?" He said curtly that he could not answer that question. I then played a bit with what he was telling me and what I knew to be true about this man attacking me. The cop then did his job for the people by saying the sentence "There is no CONCLUSIVE evidence on the tape that shows a crime occured". I think it was then that we finished up and they asked me if there was anything they could do for me. I was scared to death but asked for their badges very very nicely. By this time I was very sheepish and basically hating myself for it every minute. I then asked how to trace what they were telling me they were going to document about the incident. Thier first response was to, again, let me know I was a powerless peon with no access by saying "No one can view an internal official police document". I then asked if anyone within the police dept could view it( I was trying to make sure the info was tracable was all not look at the damn thing myself) and due to their response I then came up with my own as thier response was "Like who?" I then said "Like a seargent or internal affairs.." When I mentioned internal affairs the dark haired older one knew that didnt mean anything in the long run but the younger cop looked like someone had just usurped his authority and I cant help but wonder with that look on his face how many quieted brutality sessions this kid has already been taught is the way to handle anyone who questions or challenges police authority.

They both then snapped out of thier focusing on not being caught as part of this obvious snow job and recalled reality..they both snapped out of it at the same time and went "OH" "yeah we will give you an incident number". Thats all I wanted guys was it to be tracable. But they were so immersed in this other thing that the obvious just escaped them.

The best part in all of this was when the dark haired cop was talking to me, I looked at the green eyed younger one and he was staring at my chest area but then I realized that he was not staring at my breasts but was totaly off into space somewhere. I have seen this look before and with the activism I do I should damn well know. I had to wonder if he was in the military and saw action or wonder what the hell are they doing to these guys at the acedemy nowadays. That look, that STARE off into one's own mind for a moment is very distinct. And he is so young that he probably doesnt even truly remember whatever it is that he is recalling mentally that has taken him so far into his mind. I didnt think he was stupid enough to stare at my tits with all the other insults of thier behavior...and I was right. He was gonzo, out in the field somewhere. Who knows if it was the killing field or some childhood memory or something they did to him at the acedemy..or worse. Technological progress is so great isnt it? Pretty soon they probably wont even need these guys, they'll just get tech enhanced humans to do their jobs...overtly tech enhanced.

Anyway the most cheap and degrading thing to occur was when the female manager came over and said she felt badly (actually she at one point looked like a fellow female who knew I was being screwed over by males) and now she had a smile like she was as fake as can be.
She felt badly and wanted to know if I would take a gift certificate for my troubles. She seemed to really be pushing it and that is not a good sign in cases like this. I politely refused and they all kept on pressing for a change of my reality on this one and I just politely said that I had to follow up on it on my own and I reassured the manager that she is not the one who came out and attacked me so she is not personally responsible.

It might have been a ploy to try to make me feel bad that she felt bad or some sort of seeing if I will respond to her instead of the reality of what happened and then forget about it altogether. The ending was interesting with them all standing there trying to still get me to change my mind basically and her not stopping talking to me about it as I continued to not give into attaching emotion to the situation but kept logical. I was pleasant enough and even sheepish due to the male cop intimidation but its interesting how BAD these people were at mind control tactics that they could not give up even though it was obvious I had NOT given up my Will.

What also was obnoxious was that the cop asked the other one if there was an order for me to leave the store (!). The other cop then replied "She has a reciept for her things in the bag" it was as if that was the real goal the whole time. That statement plus the showing up of the female cop obviously in case I was to be taken in. Its like they were saying that I couldnt be busted for anything like stealing. After what I had been through it was still all about making the victim feel guilty about the circumstances.

The cop had the audacity to ask me to leave the store. I then stated the obvious which is that I had wanted to leave hours ago.

Can YOU BELIEVE the rudeness and the mind gaming with this bs?

One has GOT to wonder if its gs related or not. I mean really. I just wonder if some perp or comm watch idiot was stupid enough to think that they finally had something on me personallly and they just went for it with gusto, thinking that no matter what happens I get treated like shit by the system anyway and so nothing they do has any consequences.

My whole life seems to consist of this system trying whatever it feels like to get me to commit a crime or screw up and whatever they do to get that result is all fine and good but when they are hurting ME or denying me my rights, its of no consequence.
I am indeed treated like a target that the system is alwasy going to try to 'get' and everything THEY do is fine. If I am victimized then I am just intimidated time and time again and I am sure that there is hope that will also help lead to my sense of helplessness and suicide.

I was so traumatized by being grabbed from behind my a man on a dark street and then intimidated by two men who are supposed to be helpful to me NOT ALBERTSON's that I actually thought I was going to have to go to a hospital. that is how much pressure I am under that I DONT need this bs.

His attack just brougt back memories of Scott as well as whatever else is there from the past many years of fighting this system. Or even my mothers violence. I mean it really f*cked me up and if know myself I will handle it well for a while and itll will come out in some sneaky way beyond my control as a delayed reaction. I dont need that sh*t due to the fact that I cant keep an eye on that due to everything else I am compartmentalizing. Its too much of a work load for anyones brain, especially one suffering from damage due to mold exposure and my dental problems with the headaches up in my jaw.

It also made me realize just how important it is that I write this book, this account of my experiences at any cost. It is the most important thing I will ever do.

The treatment of the poor or homeless population is illustrated enough in this account if it is NOT gs related. And outside of any of that it illustrates the way that corporate interests so overshadow human rights or citizens rights nowadays that I believe this society deservdes NOTHING LESS than the ultimate book on the disregard for human life in an age of corporate domination as well as a police state.

WIll I call a lawyer? Maybe I am capable and maybe not in the following days. Doesnt matter becux its right here for the world to see.