I have only been here a few months but to a traveller a few months is like a year. We notice things much more quickly and take note much moreso due to our lifestyle. Being a traveler is like re engineering one's reality, restructuring it so that the numbers are a bit different, so that the dynamics are also. Being on the road one must think faster, move quickly and get in or out of situations at top speed or there are times with with the dreaded downtime like waiting for rides or being stranded in inclimate weather.
Our thinking becomes very different and often homebound types grossly misunderstand us. Often.
Just now one of the staff at the day center told me not to use the phone in the building, actually she was reminding me-"you guys know that though". Actually with mold induced dain bramage (haha) as well as always for life it seems thinking like a traveller, I didnt really know that or if I did it seemed a piece of info not worth storing permanently in the mental files. I told her I did not know that and she said "All the time you have been here you didnt know that?" Actually, a few months is not a long time and moreso its due to the way a travellers mind works. About one fourth of the time I either think I am in some other city I travelled to or I am getting the rules here confused with the rules of some other long ago similar factility I frequented.
The focus of a travellers mind is NOT on such petty details or things that make up the structure of a place. If that were so we wouldnt be capable of travelling. Also, I am often thinking of writing or what happened to me out there, or worse, what happened to me back there in the beginning of all this still unresolved, my conscience bothering me daily to write it down and present it to the world wrestling with the intimidation I have been conditioned with that keeps telling me 'no one is going to believe you', 'no one can change any of this', 'just forget about it', 'everyone thinks you're jsut making it up anyway'. That last one is new as I never even considered that one would make this stuff up. Its too unbelievable to make up and also there are so many connections to documented things or things that make it all feasable.
I think the system has many people who make great handlers is what I think even if they dont know it, and thier job is to keep a victim down or keep them doubtful of their own sanity or intelligence. And I have to start seeing them as the enemy not as fellow human beings that I should respect with any kind of trust. I often want to think that they believe cover stories and so they dont know any better but that just makes me more angry.
What all TI's especially ones on the road have to realize is that many people are not as smart as we are, not as tough and not as emotionally resilient. We just have to face the fact that the system has guard dogs and they are good at what they do but they are not doing what WE do..its not thier natures. Either that or they still live in the old school mentality of dont ask dont tell, hide what really goes on becuz no one can change it anyway. The system's silent victims.
The people in the homeless shelter system- the workers the councillors, they must know what goes on. I have heard shelter employees talk about me years ago, pointing me out and saying 'she's targeted'. They damn well know. So why do they work for the system?
I think some of these people are just the kind of women that caretake victims of a very male-centric system that goes after its victims aggressively even if its through covert activity. Many of these women are used to experiencing other females helping with the wounds that such a system or perp causes whilst still allowing for the perp(s) to continue thier abuse.
These women most likely believe that a strong male figure is needed at any cost, that its just 'what men do', or that its the way of the world. They most likely grew up with a male perp who was tolerated within the family and or married into that environment. They are also the kinds of women who percieve the male governing power structure as all powerful and fear 'making waves'. Either that or they are just used to the system creating a structure and they functioning within it, doing the best they can. Many people come into social services when young very idealistic and naive, thinking they can change the system. One cannot do that if one depends on the system for ones paycheck I have discovered.
Its a very good thing that we have women who want to help the homeless especially homeless women but its often not enough in a system that services a vulnerable poulation that has very little voice and very little credibility due to a large number of mentally ill as a demographic of that population. We get treated fairly well compared to other countries yet we get treated very poorly when how much money and commerce is within the USA to begin.
For those of us who are intelligent and competent but merely black listed due to going up against a corrupt system its most hard on us as we have the energy, the stamina and the brains to fix things and are being told we cant even run our own lives by a system that ensures just that is the reality of our lives.
We are treated like children by people who are often not as quick, as smart or as talented as we are and after much trauma it only adds to the damage. This is why the way the way the homeless shelter system is set up can be very damaging to targeted individuals who are bright, caring and above average in energy and determination. Many staff are destructive without knowing it as they believe rumours, cover stories or that they are talking to just another homeless person who is either lazy, drunk/drugs or mentally ill. Which is an intersting cover story for THEM really as I note that the people who are above average often get treated worse then those who are plodding along or incapable of doing better.
Overachievers or winners are a threat wherever you go and that includes those who are being actively kept down so that they may never be victorious or achieve anything. Just becuz you dress up a dog in a cat costume and make it live like a cat doesnt mean it is one.
This is the whole point of my activism, especially with surviving the horrors of being targeted: if you survive you do so due to being a lap dog who has reverted back to a wolf. That nature remains no matter what the system does and believe me, it will try to reduce you to nothing.
In the case of mc survivors its often more akin to trying to break down an attack or K9 dog into a lap dog or pet, and the only way to survive this is to revert back to being a wolf. Due to mankind only understanding being bitten often enough as a way to respect what he cannot tame much less destroy. With me they went too far as they tried to outright destroy instead of coming at me with deals or pay offs. They figured that a person treated like a slave all their lives would easily cower before the most evil face that the power structure could show. Ironically, it is THAT side of the power structure that made me what I was, so how could it destroy me? All I can think of is that the people involved either did not understand that or they understood it perfectly so that made me a perfect victim as they knew I would survive the attack so they feel the least guilt possible about what they did. As PI John Panderos said to me "Yer strong. You can take it." Or 'hugger' Mark from Watertown NA who retired to Florida with all the other scum who screwed over a bunch of people in MA then went down there, enemy free so they feel. Hmph. He said "Its not hurting you"..something to do with Jake either being behind me being filmed in my apartment or some sort of survaillence that was being abused for entertainment purposes.
Its 2010 and I am still homeless...how is it not hurting me? That might be becuz these people were all to STUPID to realize that sadistic human experimentation was part of the deal or that I was programmed and the system was coming after me or that my mother was a human radiation experimentee and the harassment started overtly after she was harassed into NOT going to testify at the Presidents Advisory Commitee. Becuz they thought they were such smart and ruthless criminals you know, they are so much more in the loop about every little thing going on in the world...
I hope my handlers, whoever my protectors are- the mob, the military, the CIA, Satanists, the Vatican or Isreal or Masons of a higher order or...whoever the F*ck they are and I often try to figure it out but cant-I hope they gave them such a lesson in how much they DONT know about that goes on in our world that it scares the shit out of them to this day.
Of course the programmed person, who everyone thinks is stupid, is programmed to look just that way as they figure and take in all the details of the case unfolding around them.
They dont program stupid people.
It could be however that these cheesy criminal types were more into the idea of taking advantage of someone who was very vulnerable at the time as their greatest achievement. So they are cowardly rapists who basically destroyed a woman who at that time was incapable of defending herself, like a child. Says alot about the NA perps doesnt it? It also reeks of pedophiles becuz that is what they do and its thier biggest thrill. Isnt that the crowd that used to coddle that pedo guy who's daughter used to whine that he was a child molester all the time, and the attitude was that she wasnt going to get any sympathy in there from that crowd. Yeah, sounds about right.
I was in a chrysalis. I was in transition and very vulnerable. I believe they all knew this too. Scott said to me that I was "a woman who was just about ready to bloom" so him and the crooked cops he worked with decided it best to destroy me at that juncture..right? Do you honestly believe that these f*cks dont know about mind controlled slaves? That they dont understand why it is that I can see a client out of context and not recognize their face beyond 'gee I know you from somewhere but where?'.
I saw Scott hanging out with this jerk one day who was dying of cancer...this older NA guy. His big claim was that he was a former Marine. He smacked of being a sexist pig and so when I baited him with "my grandmother is going to be buried next to my grandfather in Bourne MA cemetary with a 21 gun salute" he of course went for it and corrected me that only Marines get buried at Bourne. I then shot him down as planned with innocently telling him that they met in the Marines and that she was off an officially higher rank at the time. Especially the last part.
He then started to try to make her sound like a WAK and I told him that she had women under her and was a lady not a WAK. Her clothes were pressed and her white gloves in the summer stayed white.
He then started saying that she must have been a special lady to be in the Marines back then. Give me a break, women served in the military alot and historically women have even been generals or chiefs in such cultures as Persian and Celtic. I have noted along the way through years of gang stalking that one of the top weapons used on a female TI is sexism. EVEN FROM THE WOMEN. Netta, the most obnoxious Isreali I ever met in my life, one of those blonde Polish lineage types that gets alot of crap from darker Isreali girls, actually sat there with fat Jeremy in one instance and when I spoke of female warriors Netta pipes up and actually claims that until recently there were no female warriors. Lets hear it for Isreals insular education system. I mentioned Buddica and they said "Who is he?". Pathetic. These are what rich kids and trust fund kids do with thier time and priveledge. Fuck with thier economic lessers who are obviously thier intellectual betters. How many rich kids does it take to destroy one poor girl prodigy? Oh thats right, expendable programmed people never get to show the world they are highly intelligent. Thats only for the ones that get programmed to go before the world with that persona. I bet their miserable and kept down as well.
Anyway, former Marine one day is at Scotts brother's hotel with some little girl who aint his. The mother is of course a single welfare type, white and needs time away from her kid. Familiar story right? (All you expendables raise your hands). The little girl is very flirtatious in his or any other male presence and changes back into being a little girl again when around females. Her foot is bleeding and he isnt tending to it. She is firmly in her flirtatious alter and of course needs to be trained to ignore pain and her own needs, especially in this alter state. She responds to me wanting to fix her foot the second I get her away from the men. The band aid falls off and I become worried again, and he uses this to heighten my anxiety about the child.
These are men who have been f*cking with women's heads for years of all ages. I discovered over the years that this is common behavior for people in on mind control. Common factors in this situation or pedophilia, mind gamers and sexist woman abusers. They all seem to agree that there should exist in our world, expendable females who are trained from a young age to become sex workers and be treated like slaves by the system. These are usually highly intellgent, creative white female children who are attractive.
The mothers usually come from pedophile families and dont remember due to compartmentalizing the trauma or they just dont deal with it well. These women often keep in touch with thier abuser families and depend on them for support in some way as single mothers. This is like a beacon to attract the cult/networks who 'program' these little girls as it shows that the mother is so severly disacossiated that she is easily manipulated as well as its obvious that she is still controlled by abusive authority. Its hoped that all these qualities will be passed onto the child who will be just as easy to control,manipulate and handle.
The dynamics of the mind control by these cults or groups or this network, whatever it is is very simple. Too simple to be believed readily. The key is trauma based mind control. Look what was done to the USA recently due to traumatizing everyone into compliance....look whats being done to it now. Torture and trauma do alot to control people and if its intergenerational then all the better for the handlers.
I believe that pedophile families have some sort of intergenerational disacossiation that assists in the abuse chain not being broken readily. Recall when I have posted about my grandfather trying it once when I was 12. Granted I got away and he never tried anything again but that is purely due to me having Danny's DNA on my side and I firmly believe that. Danny was always getting around the system and telling it to f*ck off and trying to fight it in his own ways. And he was smart enough to pull it off too. I sometimes wonder if their meeting in Harvard sq wasnt just selective breeding. It creeps me out thats for sure. All the 'coincidences'.
My grandfather was definately zoning out while driving to the library at 1 am that night and only after I reasoned with him as well as being very defiant about the whole situation did he seem to shake it off and 'wake up'. This tells me that pedophiles obviously 'switch' personalities and this is why therapy cant cure them. Kinda like the stupidity of Tony in the Supranos going to therapy. Catch him in his alter that kills people when he isnt hiding from society and try to reason with that character...and dont forget the canolis (after you strangle the guy and leave the body in the car.)(Anyone not get that as a Godfather reference? Shame on you for not seeing it 500 times already.)
Until society admits that disassociation is normal human trait that is very strong in some people and not a 'disorder' but a genetic predisposition do dealing with trauma, then people are not going to accept it as being as prevelant as it is. People also have to accept the sinister nature of man and that such a trait could and is being manipulated for profit by groups that have obvious ancient knowledge of the power of trauma based mind control.
I believe that this has been going on for most of history and that its the remnance of a bygone era where erotic beatings, child abuse, incest and other human horrors were commonplace in human affairs.
The men involved especially seem as natural at this as can be as if they have learned this from generation to generation.
The problem with people secretly believing that deep down, this is the natural order of things and men have this kind of power over women and even the boys they abuse and program that become men themselves- that they possess these extraordinary prowess using sex and highly tailored covert violence is that its probably true; women are built to be raped by men. Unfortunatley they seem to have an edge also in this system of controlling females or males they abuse.
But the other side to that that is also very true is that not all women are going to take thier actions as acceptable nor adhere to thier rules or enslavement.
In a society that does everything in its power to ensure that the natural power of females is left out of the power structure and even the image of female warrior does not exist exclusively seperate from males, men have then created a scenerio where women of this type who do exist in the natural world outside of man made reality cannot be destroyed or will show up in some form. They have created a vulnerability of sorts within thier structure and all they can do is continue to deny the existence of such a creature or continue to manipulate and manage perceptions of her when she does occur or show up.
They are asking for this force to become a problem as they want to take advantage of women and also insist that such women do not defend themselves or demand change from the system.
They are asking for it..ha!
Asking to be exposed, attacked, judged and damned by women who do NOT judge thier own strength by mens standards.
Its like they are walking around at 2am drunk in a short dress down a dimly lit street. Whats say we give it to them eh? What I have experienced being a TI is mostly male harassment along the way. And its all based on not liking whores or being in a power position above women in general or a woman who has been vilified by society. Mobbing is an ugly affair but this is just a bit TO organized to be an angry mob.
What that means when one thinks about it is that there is a network of people who firmly believe in expendable slaves from pedophile family backrounds who its ok for society to use abuse and then terrorize when they become inconvenient. They believe in a society that creates these women and then breaks them for being what they are. And this society is in full knowledge of what is going on. From my experiences its composed mostly of johns, pedophiles and woman beaters. Those are most of the profiles of the men who seemed most to be into harassing me, even just letting me know that they knew my situation. Many of them of course were connected to police, to 'regular guy' jobs like the trades or construction or used supported the end of organized crime that invests in or protects the sex trade. The women I cant understand, unless they are just acting out of being jealous b*tches or control freaks. Many seemed to be under the influence of the male centric power structure and so fall into the category of keeping the family together (also 'national security' is the same concept) or protecting the whole family unit by attacking the one who acts out, makes waves by telling the truth about abuses within that family unit. Scapegoats are an absolute necessity in abusive families as they take the resentment and bad feelings away that should rightly go towards the main perpetrator as he causes them to exist to begin with.
I mean I can see my own family wanting me silenced or even Julie's people in the interst of a money making business or Jake to get attention off his busts, but it got waaaayyyy bigger than that and it became obvious that I was dealing with something much larger than what was around me in my personal life and it seems much more is at stake in keeping me quiet than just the who and what was around me in my personal life.
The sheer man power involved in these campaigns is staggering and the psychological warfare so sophisticated that its got to be important as well as very expensive. Granted that many of these types seem like abusers or in trouble so they want to comply with the system to keep out of trouble. The money that is made from the enslavement of human beings using trauma based mind control must be outrageous...and the favors gained in co operating with such a system must be invaluable.
I have come face to face with a very nasty programmer who is known and is obviously a pedophile. The thing that is so insane is not my claims but that THIS many people are in on these networks. And they seem totally normal on the outside or they keep up very good fronts. The reason that no one discovers them is that much of the involvment is via organized crime and that means career criminals. These are not stupid people who get caught and go to jail and believe me the criminal mind is superior. I have experienced it to posess psychic abilities as well and one of the reasons to become a career criminal is probably a hatred of people as they are much slower and stupider than the smarter criminal mind.
I have dealt with people who were career criminals that kept going to jail and I dealt with people who were do smooth that I myself didnt even consider them criminal. Guess which ones are able to hide better...by the way both types may posess superior psychic ability compared to your average citizen.
What creates criminals? Just be sure that the public make it extremely easy usually. And deep down in thier hearts the public at least here, worship a superior criminal mind as it represents a successful predator. America is a religious place not a spiritual one.
My main point of this post is long forgotten and am not going to go back and try to see where I started. I will just publish this as it is. The fact I wrote it is enough at this point.
I've fallen into San Diego's homeless vortex where one can exist day to day without much worry or bother. I know my own systems....I will do something, crazy if necessary to ensure that this deosnt become permanent. But it shows the success of the gang stalking system, of psychological warfare. I stay becuz I dont get harassed here and there are other TI's here allegedly. Its very attractive for someone who has gotten off of the road where in every other city she gets harassed by citizens and authorities alike.
It may be the perfct place to write my book but its not a place to stay permanently unless of course I want my ritual suicide to be on the street somewhere with a needle in my arm or opposed to my much more glorious ending on a pyre in an isolated desert location. Something in my programming will NOT settle for dying here in the street.
The system keeps trying to normalize me, to make me satisfied with the damage its done to me. Everyday I get pushed to not be special and to join the ranks of humanity like some spiritual communism. I can imagine that with outcome based education and whatever else is happening in the USA that this is also part of behavior modification and it seems to be very prevalent in the USA. And its the perfect way to silence a victim witness as well...to make them believe that they needed to be broken down or that since they now are broken down that to make the best of it and join humanity like some huge family or cult is the way to go forward with one's life.
Aside from my situation the USA is now obsessed with communist ideals. Schools are telling bright students to stifle it in favor of keeping the group equal.
Even as I was writing that, those thoughts, those ideations or suggestions were going through my head. I told you that San Diego is very subtle and effective in its remote influence. And that CA seems like a very conformist place bigtime. Its interesting also that the moment I wrote those words I could feel those ideations leave my mind and the 'influence' leave as well.
This place is very very slick in its conditioning. And its not unusual for me to not be able to break out of it until it gets dark or at this time of day and I have posted that before..it must be around 5 or so..yep. Past 5.
Its like being the living dead being targeted this way. You dont really have any Will of your own and what is most damaging is that you feel watched and interfaced with all the time if your not being stalked and harassed by gang stalkers in person. Like I said before anyplace that does not have overt gang stalking you can hedge bets is going to have a very effective system of remote influence. I dont even get to be myself anymore during the day especially here in San Diego. Its horrible. I am totally repressed from existing or being free to express myself outwardly in society.
This system is in full force in the USA and in other countries there are also people making the same claims. And most of us have some sort of damaging information against someone or a large business that makes money. So mentall illness is a nice try but if I started revealing details about peoples personal lives I wouldnt sound so crazy anymore.
Believe it that there is a system in the USA and most likely around the world for destroying, opressing and silencing people who know too much about SOMETHING that is corrupt yet valuable to the system we live in.