Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no actual belief in these theories as fact . If so I would've taken legal action by now. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.
My prior disclaimer stated that I'm often sleep deprived when posting due to my lifestyle as a houseless Traveler (and my age as well as health issues). This should be taken into consideration when viewing my posts and vids on the connected YouTube channel. I am a writer who lives a challenging alternative lifestyle and it is MY RIGHT to do so. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions.
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New Series of Posts Dealing With Urgent Current Issues

Programmed To Kill (Full Playlist)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

An attack of the Jakes

I am unable to start my story just yet. Its going to take time...and that is something I dont feel I have alot of. The more time goes by past the events as they happened the more people will see it as things that occured in the past; events that should be 'gotten over' or moved forward from. For the victims of crimes such as these, every day is a reoccurance of those events due to the nature of psychological warfare.

In the next few days I want to try to give birth to a very difficult piece, something important that TI's need to hear, need to know about but is a very difficult subject matter to deal in. To put forth or accept. Its a 'touchy' subject for sure.

Today I will deal with a somewhat difficult subject but not too much so. In fact, if I put it out hthere it will probably stop as alot of the nonsense does. And smart targets know it IS nonsense put forth by a system that wants to destroy us, curb our actions, stop our progress, ensure we dont become effective activists or whistleblowers- hold us captive within our own living bodies ensuring the complete destruction of our free Will, as long as we shall live.

One of the most manipulative and damaging things that the system puts into my psych warfare program is to bring up old hurts or keep me from moving on using any issues that are unresolved for me or where I have no closure. I have realized that this is one of the calculated outcomes of the original 'first attack' years- when a target is being indoctrinated into this system via betrayals and abandonment from intimates and thier community as well as overt 24/7 stalking and harassment from the gang stalking system. This blowout phase wrecks the TI so badly that it really is comparable to a person being kidnapped off the street, stuck into the van, duck taped and tied. The next phase is the Isolation the beat down and the conditioning so as to gain a large amount of control over the captive. This is why a TI must be so badly f*cked over in the beginning of the campaign. The person is basically in shock to an extent and traumatized. If the system can keep this up along with adding in conditioning then the target becomes effectively brainwashed over time. Its a huge program and seems very complicated but its really very basic trauma based mind control. Traumatize the person and then break them down, then add suggestion, then they hopefully can be destroyed to the point where behavior modification or a new Self can be formed.
Yep, MK all the way. And you thought it was over, buried in the past along with the class action lawsuits. What an era we live in, where exposing corruption is seen as passe and pointless or even a threat to the psychotic dream that is the NWO (globalization).

I often get off on reading pieces dont about PTSD and a journalist will talk about how war f*cks up men's minds...and they genuinely distance themselves from it as they write of it, as if its another disorder dreamed up by the psychiatric field. We are all responsible for war and its interesting in this NWO that people need only mentally seperate themselves something to believe that they are not part of it. Its a sick world that keeps or even invents nuclear bombs, pollution or allows things like plastics to even be created much less used in such quantity without care or worry as to the fact that its totally unatural and doesnt degrade.

The inhabitants of this NWO believe that they are doing better than thier predecessors, that they are better than, or even striving for perfection. That the whole world will benefit from thier actions and the formation of an NWO cult. What I see is just that- the world's biggest social/political cult and they are using cold hard snobbery to get thier way. Its the pinnacle of selfishness and greed and its somehow being successfully marketed as good for all, puritanical, nice, pleasant and the brightest future possible.
Its amazing what you can sell to people when you are a good enough con. I bet you that MIT or some other institution did massive amounts of complicated math to map out the dynamics of the events, and outcomes of such a system..I mean if I wanted to tyranically take over the world and wanted it done right, thats what I would do to ensure a definate win.

Also many people just do not seem to value human imagination, spirituality, and personal freedom anymore- if they ever did at all.

Anyway, the worst wound points that the gang stalking system uses to get to a TI through thier emotions is anything deeply affecting you that you did not get closure on.
I am tired of them using my former male intimates against me its a very nasty part of psychological warfare.
In induced dreams that you can tell are from the system doing this sh*t to ideations during the day- they use my ex against me and its very nasty.

It works like this: if you go according to your emotional reactions, you will certainly get into trouble. If you do not, if you learn control then you will be inwardly destroyed and who you were before will be totally decimated and that is doing what they want as far as behavior modification. You are moving towards the total destruction of your former self and the destruction of all your feelings, bonds, attachemnts and life experiences. But if you try to hold onto those things, the system uses that to torture you. So either way they will change or reform you. You can be a good little girl and learn 'control' so as to move forward in your program towards the destruction of a former self and life OR you can act on your true natural feelings and throw your life away, make the situation even harder, get thrown in jail (eventually everything they try to get me to fall for would land me in jail by the calculated outcome so its obvious that getting me into jail/mental institution is still a high priority on thier list of desired outcomes for me. Probably in these places they would be free to perform more human experimentation- everthing from that to microchipping or worse. I would be corralled into an enclosed very controlled space away from the public eye. Dont tell me that they are not going for that outcome for that motive becuz its obvious thats what its about. Also the jerks back home would finally have the full discredit of me that they are still looking for. The people, like the *ssholes at Portabellies, probably friends of Drew and Julie's crowd of criminal rich brats or the Irish mob or whatever- are extremely nasty and vindictive with a sense of winning-as-entitlement. They learned I guess that only in Boston and other select areas do they rule so totally. They are used to getting thier way in Boston so they wud love to see my demise complete- in fact they are so spoiled rotten up there that they EXPECT to eventually win totally and completely in the end of all of this.)

This catch-22 puts the TI in a very difficult situation psychologically. And trying to be Operator and Observer whilst also living through this as above slowly destroys the person so the system wins anyway.

I sense it all the time, its very military like. This sort of 'you'll be stronger for it' bullsh*t. They are like that you know..hard asses like that. But its all untrue as if they were not strong to begin with before taking on this brainwash then they are still not strong. I always hated women who were from male dominated families who were military like this sort and always had some competitive attitude towards me (becuz really she is just acting out as a jealous competitive female not a hard ass military type. A man in her position wouldnt act that way towards me.) like THIER way is the best way and THEY are so much better than someone like me. Really when dealing with such brainwashed individuals you are dealing with a dangerous cult who only understands that THEY have been destroyed as individuals and so should you as well be destroyed...and join thier way of thinking (cult) of course. And they are so f*cked up that they dont even understand right from wrong anymore. The military, outside of the higher up people who understand the true nature of what it is they are doing and the hard reality of military affairs in the modern world and historically, is the worlds most dangerous cult, full of cult members who are convinced that THIER way is the best way.
They are however, more honest and forthright than other cults- like intelligence agencies or the cops. I suppose thats due to the difference between covertly poisoning your enemy or shooting him in the chest overtly. And that might be the only difference.

OK enough venom.

Jake has been used against me for years. They will not allow me to move on. In fact one of the purposes of the whole thing going down the way it did in the beginning, was to create this wound concerning him and I, one that cannot easily be resolved or gotten closure on. If none of this had happened I would have moved on to another lover and probably something more serious as I was getting to the age where I was starting to have a somewhat serious lifeplan for the future....after the usual rebound screwing around of course. Scott actually showed concern over this by saying "This is the age when women start screwing everybody"..yeah if the community helps the guy turn thier breakup into such a scene that the woman feels thorouhgly rejected. There is an actual psychological condition that divorcees go through that is very damaging and they feel very low self esteem so they go out and start seeking attention in the worst ways. This system is so selfish that it will CAUSE a break up to be so dramatic and traumatic for the target, that they then need to do damage control to ensure the TI does not harm themselves or start to live in sickness. And this system is so controlling of a survivor/targeted person that they would do something like that too.
Lets hope they also have to pay for such entertainment and till there is no more blood left and the chalice overflows. Ah..lets hope. Hope, pray, project, dream, curse and damn- to any god, any deity at any price.

I was forced to drag my remaining love for this man across the country trying to figure out what gang stalking really was, in all its dimensions along the way. But the system screwed themselves becuz was those feelings that had formed into torture, that I clung to and used for protection against thier actions. At one point they became so frustrated with this condition, that they would have people really trying to get in there and break me out of it psychologically.
Saying things about still being in love with him or ones ex. Either directed conversation or right to my face in that bomb dropping manner in the midst of conversation that they use often.
There was this picture in the hostel I was at, this pencil drawing of a Samurai and it looked just like him..dressed as a Samurai. Looking back with how many perps were in and out of there or living there, I have to be suspect that that drawing was a plant.
Anyway I used to look up at it, at this phase of the campaign, and greet him every morning and say goodnight everynight. The harassment as well as the torture via tech was still very bad in 2007. I was also still actively going through a mind wipe/interrigation. This phase was worse than the ghosting of files..this was the very intrusive phase of actually going into parts of my internal programming and not only investigating what was inside but thus by doing so destroying it. It was horrible. I recall standing in the kitchen of this hostel where that pencil drawing was, and I just stopped dead, I stood programming consisted of alot of knights and castles type theme. There was this small area of The Castle that was a storage area or locked, it had two guards in front of it with actual commands to "guard the castle". That was thier job and for that part of ME, that was my job mentally. The bastards actually broke open this structure too see what was inside...I didnt even ever know what was inside for years.
It just turned out to be some sort of sequence, some command or piece of info that didnt make any sense to me, and all this happened to quickly for me to process what it was anyway.

But to have someone or something go through your mind over years time and start destroying things and poking around in there was very destructive. Over time this helps to destroy who the survivor is. They are literally destroying the person's mind by doing this and taking away any sense of privacy or self. This is why its so important to then torture the survivor through behavior modification. They again, want to reduce the damage they have done as much as possible and do so to avoid the victim remembering what they WERE and what they KNEW or recalling all that happened to them to destroy what they were and what they knew. They also for some reason want the survivor to live as a normal person. Which is what a bunch of control freaks who think they are better than us WOULD do. If you are programming human beings like computers you are not likely to think of them as equals but as toys. This explains the whole attitude of the gang stalkers.
Also what we are dealing with legally is not so much civil rights or human rights (outside of using human beings for programming to begin with) but a legal battle over intellectual property; The Bastards feel that they own whatever they put into the programmed slave and the survivor feels that this is thiers, along with thier abilities and any other asset like looks, sexual prowess, psychic abilities or high intelligence. The Bastards take all those things away from the survivor and then arrogantly demand that they live as if nothing ever occured.
After years of being kept from a life, kept from justice and treated like sh*t, the system hopes that a survivor will over time become modified to 'knowing thier place', and live with what the system has created for them as a living situation. To forget all past hurts and offenses.

This explains many things that happened to me: my mother telling me that day in the car that "when I was dealing with the syndicate, I always took the harassment as to mean 'know your place bitch'"...nice huh? but this fits in very well with one of the desired outcomes of the gang stalking behavior mod system. Also I believe this is why they mix sexual stimulation with torture, humiliation, shaming/blaming along with smiling and systematic ignoring/minimizing abuse. After many years of this treatment, this formula, the victim will start to internalize the idea that this is really not as important as they feel it is and that they really are not worth all that much in the eyes of others and the pain, suffering and torture are not only the only sexual pleasure they are going to get, but that its what the network wants and really its not that bad is it? (smiling, minimizing, being friendly while torturing/harassing). Its the ULTIMATE cult indoctrination and if you dont watch it you the TI will fall into this, like drowning and falling into death as you go down- even if you fight it to the death.

Mind control brainwashing WORKS..its worked for thousands of years without fail. All the system has to do is keep it up, keep hammering away at you and with the tech they seem to have every day from 6 am to 12 am is maintainence on this program you are alter you, to change you, to make you forget.

The only reason I can write today is that its raining heavily and I have found a temporary place where I can sleep during the day if I need to. The rain has to do with my noting that the tech torture is at its worst in places where its often sunny, at the height of the sun during the day. In such places when it does snow or rain/storm, there is ALWAYS temporary relief. And for some reason I need a nap during the daylight and especially start to feel this way during 3pm. Like 1-3 pm. Just for an hour or so. And getting up before 7 am is just inhuman and I dont understand ANYONE who can do so without getting sick or sleep deprived over time. It doesnt matter how much sleep I get at night. I cannot get up that damn early and I need to sleep during the day for the height of the sun..sorry that is just the way my body is. The shelter system penalizes homeless people by getting them up at ungodly early hours..what if someone works a night shift...what is that only for good little Capitalists. This damn system needs a complete overhaul and first on the list is to get all the nomads and houseless away from the severely mentally ill who get in the f*ckin way all the time and get ALL of us treated like children.

So I can tell induced dreams, I have been going through this long enough. They often consist of Jake wanting to bed me again, only to be interuppted by something like seperation by location or even his mother. Always in these dreams sexual feelings are induced only to make interruption and seperation before sex can be performed. Its the ultimate hurting of me all over again and the ultimate inducing of abandonment...and what better than for someone likeme who has suffered abandonment issues all my life. The gang stalking system uses this pyschological and emotional wound in my to control me. They also do the Tavistock thing bigtime which is to re traumatize the person with what they are already traumatized with as to seek to cure them of that condition of trauma. What they are doing is not HEALING or letting the person evolve/grow. What they are doing is psychosurgery so that a person can be managed and effectively returned to society..what do they care if intelligence is lowered or if beauty is lost or they cause sexual disfunction or weight gain or other heath issues in the long term. They only want to erase memories and make the person appear sane and average so no traces of anything 'unusual' remain.
I am sure its sold off to people as safer for everyone as well as in the long run the survivors will lead a happy productive life in society. Go f*ck yourselves. Then why am I suicidal everyday? And if that is so then why does the system continue to torture me into suicide everyday? There are those who want the TI dead and then there are those that want the more humane modification of the survivor so they can lead some sort of life afterwards...both factions are wrong..Dead wrong. Suicide might just be the only show of independance that the targeted survivor gets and then you've given the system an outcome they want anyway.

I was in this truck with a trucker friend of mine a few months ago, and I awoke from a Jake dream and it was the usual. Using his memory image to taunt me or torture me. Sexual frustration, abandonment and of course guilting or shaming as well. What ever they can use that ghost in your memory for.

I document it evertime it happens so I can re write the patterns of thier use of this specific torture. As I write that I get this sense that even me writing this is part of human experimentation, and ultimately I am not important enough for anyone to help or care about what has happened to me. That in the end I am just another victim of a screwed up system and its not too important in the big scheme of things. The gang stalking system however makes it that way and they use means that are supposed to be illegal and unethical. Just like many pieces that I link written by inmates at abusive prisons, everyone knows what is going on but no one seems eager to fix it or cares.
This system actively and aggressively seeks to belittle the target. Yet, if we are so NOT important, so powerless, then why must they surpess us using such force, power and resources?? That is one of the most important questions one must pose to one's self and you MUST keep asking that question over and over again.

Jake's image is also used against me in other ways.
Trying to make me into a stalker or getting accused of being one is another goal they work on often but its probably thier worst failure. I purposely (or my programming assisted me) have downplayed for years my old associates/family/lovers part in all this. Not only does it make them realize how unimportant THEY are, it keeps the attention where it belongs: on the technologies that are used domestically on US citizens as well as other abuses of power, as well as more deeper subjects like cult mind control and programming of human beings for slavery.
THAT is whats important...not the cowards who so readily sought thier own empowerment and advancement via betrayal.
In my programming a chess game always plays, eternally. In this game the people around me were just pieces on the board..THEY did this to themselves by letting the system play them. THEY made their choices so let them be just pawns. Why should they get anymore attention than THAT? Pawn is as pawn does.

Stalker. That is one of the greatest goals of this system and a final fate of many a programed person...that and going postal. The men tend to go postal with more frequency and I have posted that it seems this is due to testosterone. Also if as many males are survivors of the manipulation of sexuality as females, in this society you are going to get a much more volatile reaction from them. Its expected for women to deal with predators and degradation and the gangstalking system plays on those traumas or creates more of them then plays on that. For a male its got to be different for them than for females as well as testosterone seeming to create a 'go out with a bang' attitude in the end. Death by cop usually works well for this.
Many stalkers or lone shooters have things about them that are suspect of being survivors of programming. One often wonders about people like the woman who shot Warhol or the man who shot Reagan to 'impress' Jodie Foster (While Bush was conveniently vice President).

What I think occurs is that a survivor has to be an expendable. That said then when the system comes after them they are put into a psychological warfare program. During this time anything can occur from attempted poisonings through chemicals or gassings or other attempts on the persons life. If they survive these overt steps then they must deal with the fallout from psych warfare part of the gang stalking system, which may include the abuse of a full scale deep intelligence gathering and psychological profiling. This is then taylored to destroy the person especially the use of strangers to dole out the information in ways tailored to destroy the Target mentally and emotionally. Also there is the use of tech as most TI's agree for remote influence and even physical torture. But there is a such thing as the use of media to reach the targeted survivor. This is least talked about as it sounds THE most insane of all TI claims. But it only works due to it being used IN UNISON with a larger psych warfare campaign. Its such small 'doses' that a TI wouldnt even notice anything unusual or wouldnt notice it beyond a curiosity if it WERE NOT PART OF A LARGER SYSTEM of psych warfare.
If I saw an actor doing a shampoo add on tv years ago during the height of this campaign that looked exactly like Jake and wore the same biker jacket as he did and was NOT in the midst of other nasty parts of the whole package being used to torture me, then I would probably mention it to a friend (as I would actually have my friends still) as a curiosity and most likely they would agree and say yes it looks just like him, isnt that funny ha ha.
That would most likely be the end of it. However, this content changes in its affects as it is part of a larger process. When one is being hit with many other parts to this 'program' it becomes obvious that its not just coincidence and its not funny.

The person becomes sensitized to anything directed at them in this manner and it is usually used to torture, destroy or further seperate them from thier old life. Its usually done in the beginning of the campaign when the most damage is done to the person by coming at them all at once from different directions at full force..the element of surprise attack cannot be understated.
This part of the campaign or program is also the one that will get a TI discredited upon disclosure- publically or privately. This phenomena is written as a disorder or evidence of mental illness, which may be another reason that psychiatry is so involved in silencing Targeted Individuals and also simultaneously providing cover for the gang stalking system.
At this stage the TI begins to see just how sophisticated psychological warfare can be.

In my experience anything that the TI loves, from an ex boyfriend to a bicycle is used against the Target to destroy them and gain the gang stalkingers dominance in the victim's mind.

It also is a very useful way to torture the person so much in a sensitive area that it wears out this area, like a groove in a record album or an area that wears from water constantly dropping on it. It's part of breaking the person down over time. Eventually there is so much pain in these areas and so little closure or healing over time that the person just gives up on thier old life, thier feelings about this issue and becomes deadened. This is very valuable to getting the target to become easy molding material as they start to forget what seems now an unbelievable wound to recall..kind of like water that becomes so hot it feels cold to the skin. At that point you have been so tortured that unreality sets in and from there the system can define your new reality for you.

It helps to make things very unreal by not only society in general denying such things exist but the way it's done is very unreal. Things are occuring that you never saw before, have no experience with and never thought possible.

Stalking seems to be a crime or mental disorder that this system wants the TI to be associated with. It discredits the victim as well as validates the perpatrators. Claims will be made that you are potentially dangerous and the stalking/harassment networks will be egging you on, torturing and manipulating you to that end constantly. All of it sounds like delusion and craziness.

I have posted in the past that I have been tortured in ways that are obviously to induce delusion and draw me into some sort of specific action such as stalking or blaming of certain parties for my predicament. I consider myself much too smart for this. Also look at the amount of people who fit the qualifications common to mind controlled expendable slaves who end up doing a loony with stalking, lone shooting (interestingly many of these lone shootings are more akin to assasinations due to WHO is getting shot) or other actions.
Its the most overused plot ending in this type of storyline and its boring by now. I wouldnt fall for it simply out of good taste...a better ending has got to be written. Lone shooter...booorring. Expose as suicide bomb sounds alot more fun and its really more female...communication as weapondry.

The way this system comes at you with certain information, it's blitheringly obvious that it's bullsh*t alot of times. And the calculated outcome would certainly be something they would want for you or that one can see they have pulled off before. Much of this kind of thing is done slowly over time and includes manipulation of events (connecting people into the storyline and at points the TI is very sensitive to) and then the system later works on those angles. This makes the TI look more insane as now they are concerned with people they dont even know or have never met. It wouldnt surprise anyone if I went off and shot down my mother or even my former lover or at least showed up at their doorstep begging for some sort of contact or would look MORE insane for me to show up at the doorstep of someone connected to my mother I never met and do something like that. And this system at a certain point really works on having that become a reality after torturing the TI for years over very personal things. They want to get rid of you, and that in the end is what all this is about. Either that seems join them. In the beginning they will get low level perps to recruit you..if you dont go for this then overtime they will try to convince you that you should join them becuz you are so smart not so easy and stupid like in the beginning. Remember its the ultimate cult and they want you to join.

Like I said for years they hated the fact that I wouldnt go after Jake due to there still being positive emotions present. Now after so many years the system is still playing on that angle but differently. These ideations go from him thinking about me at least once a day and me recieving that. That might be to keep me trapped in an unreality that they can manipulate but it also goes further sometimes to ideations of him waiting for me or finally discovering that he did love me and blah blah blah. On a particularly ridiculous day it will go into the idea that I should contact him and depending on where the ideation starts, that might be a friendly contact or me wanting to do damage. I know realistically that this man is probably in the midst of a new life in LA very far removed from who he was years ago and from his old crowd. He most likely has a girlfriend and I have sad fantasies abou the day I learn that he has married and..worst of all is having children. I think I prefer fantasies about him dying in an accident compared to those. But its reality and its going to occur someday. The chances of that man dying before me is very unlikely as he is blessed and I am cursed in this incarnation on this planet.
Also I recall one of his last statements was "I dont think of YOU at all", which was his very W.A.S.P style f*ck off in the end. He and Julie and ultimately the typical blonde, blue eyed White Anglo Saxon Protestants with some familial influence from both up north and down south. At least the Italians showed some signs of stress and guilt over what they were taking part in. A WASP thinks only of family rep, advancement and work work work. And keeping things very undramatic and dealing with problems very fact denial might be the WASP way where as Catholics act out heavily. Julie pullled the same routine with "I dont know anything about it" and all this same sort of sweet voiced innocence while being completely in denial about what was transpiring. The blue eyes are the best lying eyes, as when in this sort of confrontation, someone like me can in no way melt those sheets of ice to see what is truly underneath. They have away of hiding thier emotions at these times and are not easily caught but one can sense what they are hiding. They seem to turn off and go straight to logic.
So I know that this man has himself left me with a stone on my chest in the grave that reads on it "I dont think of YOU at all", so pretty much he is most likely not thinking of me now either. He added to that his rewrite, as all betrayers have to have thier rewrite of reality prepared and this is a version that in the beginning confuses the target but over time fits in nicely with how crazy one looks after being discredited.
He stated "We dated for a while and it didnt work out". Four years? In each others face for four years with only breaks for his touring or my trip to Vegas? The thing that got me, and they know this, is that I was trying to dump his ass a few times before all this went down and it made it so he didnt have to be the loser. This whole plot made it so he could come out victorious, blame and then help society punish the 'evil woman' and have much manhair on his chest. There are a million sexists out there that are just salivating for a drama like this to go down so they can abuse and torture the sh* t out of a vulnerable, attractive female and feel validated instead of end up with restraining orders in a pair of cuffs, which I assume is how they learned to be so sneaky about doing this to women.
Jake was hanging out with people like Jody; woman hating divorcees who were bitter, older and all washed up, who were just dying to give him assistance and protection. Jake isnt stupid and he was the 'fat kid' long before he was my anything and was very used to more aggressive males protecting him as well as his dad protecting him from his smothering, overprotective mother...which of course in the end is really what all this was about.
The difference? He got no monetary security from me or a place to crash for life..or to pay for his who is worth more? Ah but he is still angry at her for her actions over the years: call in the scapegoat. Its like a stand in in movies for painful and dangerous stunts I guess.

One idiot I met in NM who obviously knew the situation due to his dropping info, finished my sentence one day: something about my ex boyfriend and then he said "what, he joined the hardcore crowd?". Hmmm, programmed mind controlled slave vs spoiled rich kids trying to dabble in S&M antics with dominas and satanism. Well I lucked out cuz it reeks of American satanism and as long as youve got the Judeo influence in this culture (all of USA) yer watered down. Threat detected, threat neutralized.
The f*ckin hardcore crowd. Who could be more hardcore than MK Ultra researchers willing to further the original work of the Nazi's? Point made. So stupid.

I absolutely refuse to believe that Jake Hamilton is doing anything but enjoying success in his new life and banging hotties. He has shed the 'fat kid' baggage and will probably do anything to anyone to keep what he has now. Do you honestly think that kid wants anything but me dead or at least silenced or discredited? These are people who were handed golden opportunities to either avoid jail or make money or progress they are not going to jump up and admit to what they did. And they are not the types to give into the beatring heart under the floorboards' routine like in some outdated Edgar Allen Poe story. They alwasy played to win, I just never thought they would play me, and so savagely. NO ONE expects gang stalking to occur unless one has prior training in such an area. In fact, our normal day to day society denies such a system exists does it not?
Not only are these people never going to rat on themselves or make nice with the victim who was targeted, they cant tell on the system most likely as they would then be targeted. Duh.

And these are also not people to fight to the death for justice or truth. They are all career criminals with the exeption of my mother who lives in a fantasy that she is a career criminal and the system she is in uses that to its advantage to control her and use her.

A TI must always keep in time with reality not what this system tries to tell us. I had people on cell phone converstations for months a few years ago trying to use Julie against me, making it sound like she had died or that I was in my situation due to being suspected of hurting Colin in some way. All I had to do was make a call and hang up to know she is very much alive and as far as the other issue goes I didnt even pay a bit of attention to that becuz its obviously more disgusting material for making the TI paranoid...and to get you to go the authorities blabbing. THAT is also one of their major goals as well. Getting the TI to go to authorities blabbing about some bullsh*t. The beauty of this part of the psych warfare campaign is that they keep trying material until they find something that works, but if each piece of material they try leads one to conclude the same outcome (blabbing to authorities or turning yourself in) then on has to assumne by logic that not only are none of these intimations true but that they are jsut to get one singular result: to have you turn yourself in.
I actually saw a cop in San Francisco waiting for me to waltz in to the precinct but really I was trying to find the hospital and was lost. This was in summer of 2006, very early on, before I knew it was GS. He looked at me approaching and had this look that very distinctly said "oh, your finally here. Knew youd finally come to us" but it was also very arrogant, as if it was just expected that I would react that way..that they would get their way as they always do.
He was younger and inexperienced at being an *sshole, as most cops get good at this with time, being part of a workforce of professionals that manage crime whilst demanding to be praised for solving it. The look on his face was priceless as I asked for directions to the hospital instead. Soooo awesome. A prize in this battle really.

So one can see that trying to GAIN FALSE CONFESSION is one of the main goals of these campaigns. I learned my lesson well when I heard the story of a local man in Boston that was connnected to the nanny that was found cut in half in a dumpster, and it seems he was gaslighted into coming in to be questioned as this was intimated to him, never a subpeona. He soon after committed suicide.
Not me you f*ckers...I aint done yet what got to be done.
It may be that the cops were onto something else and both parties had a different idea of what the scenerio was so the gang stalking system set to using us against each other...but I dont think so. I think you have cops who are into the gang stalking end of it, who want to help the system get rid of TI's or destroy them and then it seems there are police who wonderfully covert ways.

Who the hell knows what any of these people are really into or what they are thinking. Cloak and dagger sucks I know that and I would rather be dating a hot kinky guy and making artwork while councilling all those lost lambs in transition from the business to normal life.

Its no surprise that I seem to have had Templar content in my internal programming as for me to guide and protect people on journeys of a spiritual nature would be very natural. I have also had a strange vision once that I was in the body of a male, long ago who made maps for shipping. The responsibility was great: if I screwed up the mapping accurately people would die at sea. Whether this is valid or not it makes sense that during my life, lost travelers, no matter what the language barrier will ask me directions or approach me. Its nice to think about anyway. Guiding people to a safer place.

So no, I dont plan to show up on anyones doorstep anytime soon or to call Jake and ask him for his hand in marriage..(LOL). This system both in person harassment/stalking and whatever the other forms of it used, wants us to live in the past, sucking off of very painful hurts and wounds. In fact I believe that it wants to use these things to kill us if it can. If it cannot then use for discrediting is also an obvious goal.

I know that one day if he matures he will have to look at what he has done and if not then for him its over and done with. Most likely if I know that man past the dating phase he claims is the extent of our knowledge of each other, he will most likely bury it, move on and keep the re write in his head as the official line to tow for the rest of his life.

Yeah, he belongs in Hollywood.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've noticed the pattern that you lay out in this post. I was once a member of a class (on estoeric subject matters) and the teacher basically immediately caused a sexual reaction in me. It was visceral, i had a pressure in my groin like 5 minutes into his first lecture.

The creepy thing is he was so UGLY. Totally not my type.

So later anther female classmate randomly tells me how she was sitting at her computer one night and felt him "kiss" her from afar. Then yet another female student freaked out and accused him of "astral rape" online. That's when I inwardly knew there was more to this than just "my head".

The worst part is I STILL have dreams of him, and daydreams too. To this day I still think about him sexually a LOT. It's my opinion that a combination of NLP and perhaps symbology did something to my subconscous to make me obsess over this TROLL (that's what he looks like).

The TI's most vulnerable button is the sexual one. Hands down it's the biggest control factor next to money in my life and used by abusers most often.

Money, sex and power are all those of "lower consciousness" care about anyway.