Well its obvious that Rach is losing her grip..so I am not doing well. Its the years of this crap as well as this place probably. I just dont have the sense to leave this time. I am being stubborn becuz I know that each time I go somewhere else it just starts up again. This is the first place where I dont get overtly harassed unless I leave the downtown area. Firstly it may be healing to whatever part of a targeted person gets so damaged by in person harassment and tactics but also it makes my case for being sane. How could I not experience a disorder or mental illness condition ONCE AGAIN BASED ON LOCATION?
I think the public by now accept the very surface part of this like the harassment and stalking by individuals that seem like a group and its organized. What might be more damaging but harder for them to believe is technology in use on targeted individuals.
I am certainly getting a lesson in how powerful and damaging that can be. This place is the worst I have ever experienced outside of perhaps Boston.
I dont know why I dont just get up and leave..but I suppose the question is 'where would I go?'. Its the same everywhere it just differs in the kind of harassment one gets.
This place is indeed pretty bad though...I feel better now due to it being late..I felt the usual signs of relief and looked at the clock- 11:40 pm of course. One doesnt feel strained anymore or anxiety ridden. There is a true relaxation state. Also I can fully feel my physical body. There is a feeling of being 2 dimensional or something like that becuz when relief comes and it all feels 'lifted' at the usual time, I can fully comprehend my body again...my body sense returns. I can understand myself as a self inside a physical body. When the effects of being targeted are working, I am constantly being pushed mentally and emotionally. To the point where I am actually not concentrating very much on my physical form.
The forced mental and emotional activity over time destroys the target. Its a very sad way to die.
My only choice is to go back on the road and I am determined to go to a doctor before I leave. But trying to get anything done here is very difficult. Even leaving the city when I know its better to get out of downtown and also all I have to do is hop a train, even that is impossible. I have no idea why I cant leave. Its a strange sort of a trap though...its the oddest place I have been yet. I know this place is wrong for me but I just keep staying.
Its probably just easier to slowly go downhill here than on the road or someplace where he gang stalking would lead me to act out.
The remote influence is psychologically damaging here and there is no peace during the daylight hours. Your self esteem and confidence will take a massive beating here. That seems to be what the system works on here.
Much of what is used, at least on me is a constant non stop impression of always being watched or if there are cameras in stores, which there are here everywhere, lots of ideations of the existence of TI tv. No matter how hard one tries to be logical about reality, the interface here is very powerful and cannot be broken with mental powers. There is no counter moves or self defense here against the system. The only relief is at the typical times as anywhere else (12 midnite to 6am) and if I get on a train and get the hell out of downtown. It seems to start at 12th street stop and then into downtown. It seems those are the parameters here.
That tests about right with every exit and re entrance into downtown's limits.
I will try again tomorrow but I feel that here in San Diego I am running out of tomorrows.