Started to rain here. Always in Boston the depression or feeling of being repressed improves when it rains. Also I have noted for years that my condition improves in MA considerably when I get my period. Its like so much relief. When closing in on the east coast while traveling its consistently the case that my sex drive increases so its interesting the change with hormone fluctuation as well. These conditions though consistent in MA and the northeast area are not the case in other parts of the USA.
Now its raining my depression and self torture mode has lifted and I can think clearly again. There must be some slight change I am not aware of due to being uneducated. But it may also be simply chemicals are used to manage the masses or pollution is the culprit or even that it interferes with tech if thats what causes the depression.
I know that if I left this area my condition would improve as it has in the past. I simply have business here to attend to and am not leaving until its completed.
Its a thunder storm too and those are good for breaking whatever it is that keeps me so down. This weather condition seems to work in MA, St Louis MO. Those are the only two I can clearly recall.
It may just be weather changing moods but I doubt if I would be so sensitive to this if I wasnt being targeted. I would have some stable sense of self or world of my own not fighting for my right to exist against this system....that no one wants to believe exists for people who are targeted.