Pertaining to one of my recent posts including a reader comment which was written obviously to try to school me, you better get ready becuz the days of this blog being soley about activism are numbered. There will be more rants more raves and its about to get nastier. You may want to read something else becuz so much damn venom is going to come off on these pages that there isnt one group I am not going to offend.
Why? Becuz I am past being on my last nerve thats why. I DID MY TIME with being noble, patient and trying to figure this all out as well as defend myself as well as help others. I think I have done enough..more than enough. And yes I have gotten appreciation from many people but if anyone thinks that I am some sort of saint who took this lying down yer are mistaken. I had to be patient and calm as it was the only way to get through the worst of it..YEARS of being harassed. And the kind of torture I experienced is totally inhumane and destructive. All I get in return is continued low level harassment or around Cambridge or Boston idiots hanging thier heads or worse having the audacity to put their heads down so they dont have to look at what they did or that they did NOTHING as it happened. Its time to slaughter the sheep.
Thats also becuz that is all a violent, sexually repressed country like America understands. These f*ckers are never going to change or evolve. The only way to get any peace in this country is to be a total sociopath and play thier games like playing into Christianity or other conforming to belief systems or lifestyles that Americans are comfortable with and non threatening. I am not going to lie to people and make myself socially acceptable...not with whats been done to me. I was targeted heavily when I was doing what society told me was the right things to do: after getting clean and sober I tried to sort out other parts of my life as well as go to therapy, take care of my health and eventually this led to me finally closing in on finding myself and forming a productive life using my life experience to help others balanced with more selfish artistic pursuits.
This however is what seems to have gotten me targeted more heavily in the first place. The whole point of this campaign is to keep me down and I was told that to my face by someone in the know. Its to ensure I never become anything in life. It is meant to destroy me end of story and people will rationalize it however they can to go along with it. Scott said to me "Rachael is a woman just about ready to bloom", which is why I got shot down. Also he seemed part of a very sexist and controlling faction of men that were concerned becuz according to him, after getting dumped by Jake the way it was done so viscously, leaving me looking and then feeling like the abandonded girlfriend (so of course its about him winning or getting over-gaining power using the breakup the way it was engineered), I was assumed to start acting out like many women of this age that get treated this way. Scott said "This is the age where women like you start f*cking everyone", most likely due to feeling ditched by the ex and snubbed by society whom sides with the ex.
However, I didnt get to feeling so lacking all due to what Jake did. All of the gang stalking as well that was done had a great deal to do with it.
So not only do the perps come after you to destroy you, handlers want to makes sure you grow within this situation a certain way by controlling your natural reactions and feelings occuring from what is being done to victimize you.
Why is it so important that I "grow only very conditionally" like that perp said to my face in AZ at the railroad tracks? Its behavior modification I know but it doesnt make sense.
One train driver mentioned something like "Am I in the presence of a great future artist?".
One of the more kiddie ring perp types (they have a look and its very creepy and extremely sleazy. Like Eddie Cox aka Eddie 'Hand' the programmer I had the displeasure of meeting on Greyhound. There are multiple men who look like that and have that same very creepy vibe involved in the gang stalking especially early on)...this pedo type said "in order to get through this you have to be nice".
One cab driver who was fishing for information said "In order for someone to become an activist,first they have to become a nice person".
This is some pretty sick sh*t concerning behavior modification. What they were (and are) doing obviously is traumatizing and destroying the person then taking all of the reactions that are perfectly natural due to these actions, and utilizing them to form a new self, persona or personality within the person. This is done by carefully controlling the way the person 'grows' by making sure its very 'conditional'.
My mother is very good at gardening. She told me once that the reason that she clips off some budding leaves or new plant growth is to "make it grow a certain way". This is exactly what is done to the targeted person in one of these behavior modification programs especially a targeted survivor, where its obvious that MK Ultra programs are used where brain damage was induced along with very destructive behavioral psychology and classical conditioning in order to regress the person to a child like state, thus 'wiping' their history by wiping part of thier mind, or whatever contains the self and perceptions of Self.
One of my most annoying memories is my grandfather, before he died so this must have been before I went to Vegas to live, he said to me "Rachael, you are going to travel to places far and wide, I wish I cud go with ya.." and I forget the rest, in his slight New Orleans accent. So how did he know this? My mother was very into controlling me via forming bonds with her family members and discussing me at length when I was not around.
She also had an obsession with psychics. One part of the gang stalking tried very hard to mess with me for being into Tarot cards during Scott. I withdrew into alot of things that women get into when they arent happy wiht thier lives and feel its out of thier control-like checkout mags. I bought every one and read them constantly. I was so unhappy with him but the campiagn forced me to seek allies wherever I could even if they were abusive.
But I know the difference between the very few psychics that are truly talented like an old gypsy down in RI years ago, and the ones that are charlatans who use methods of reading people or even have info from outside sources as part of thier scam.
My mother told me once that she sometimes just bought products like face cream to be told a good lie and believe it, if even temporarily. Just like he love of Disneyland, her attitude is that the best things in life are illusions and reality sucks. That dreams that can never come true are lived in illusions and that is the best life will get.
This is utter bullshit if you have any talent for the occult at all by your birth and by your nature. I think of all of us, con men, though some of the best illusionists, may be the hardest non believers in magick in life. They dont see that both exist not just an off and on switch marked 'REALITY'. WTF? I dont want to be them thats for sure.
All you have to do is believe hard enough and not go away when they want you too. And if you lose alot then there is your 'trade' or sacrifice for getting something in return.
My point was that I could plainly see that she was spending her money again on being obsessive with psychics and of course this is due to having to be a control freak becuz she cant control her own situation.
My mother plays bad ass as long as she is with her family, when shes was alone she got targeted and was as helpless as any of us. She really isnt that tough all on her own which means in reality she is quite weak out in the big world by herself. I cant blame her nature for being that way as she was so traumatized early on that its a miracle she isnt dead herself. And the way that family has treated her after what they did to her is outrageous.
So I knew that it was some prediction that a decent psychic came up with that he was parroting back to me. The most obnoxious part of it is that its predicted as if its a positive thing. That is the worst part of gang stalking and the people involved. They are so out to lucnch so in denial in thie rown realities that they do more harm to the TI than they realize or would want to cop to anyway. This is awoman who, iwht my stepfather would sit there and refer to his family of drunks and her family of abuse and pedophila , and all the reacios and behaviors of the kids involved in these families as 'oh, you know , just what kids do to each other when they are young'. He had a brother that was still pissed about being mistreated as a kid and of course both these morons just have to write it off. She would say "All families are dysfucntional" to make ours look normal...not like this Betty, not like this. Anything to downplay the violence, destruction and manipulation.
I believe my mother is very compartmentalized and only recalls what she wants to and focuses on portions of memory.
This is her own form of cult brainwashing for herself and anyone around her.
So as one can plainly see it is truly a program of tgrying to destroy someone so they will go along with an official version of events and the ultimate goal of that is becuz someone...somewhere is very afraid of what that target knows and may reveal.
This is why the system is wrong and its why none of us can give up.
You cant say I am not honest.
If I have to start dropping bombs every day on this blog to survive I will do so.
If you dont like it, go read a typical American tale with a hero and a happy ending. Becuz it seems that my mother belongs in her homeland and I do not. It seems the whole culture believes as she does- the illusion is easier than bleeding and sweating out pores for real magick and results in shifting one's reality.
And in my culture the hero can never be a woman anyway. Even though many men have assisted me some with my knowledge and others very discreetly I am sure, the view that women in the end need a male to rescue them is bs. Women need guards and soldiers the way any kingdom does, to counter the other sides forces. It may be males' are in a position to protect me due to me not knowing what men are thinking, especially how sick the ones are that seem to have been involved in trying to ruin my life or worse. I believe it has been intimated to me that there were a few attempts at real life abductions that were stopped. I may be mistaken on this one as it was very vague. But I do recall living in Waltham and then in other places thereafter feeling...like that was the case. Like someone very very dangerous was out there. I could feel it. And I got the distinct psychic impression that the same people who have been protecting me and my mother since I can remember did so once more.
There is something going on at least with my situation and it goes deeper than just gang stalking as in psychological warfare and even the use of tech. I recall the same feeling when there was a guy on top of the roof of my school watching us through windows with binoculars when I was little. People cutting my mother's brake lines and vandalizing her car in other ways. Then that car of two men that tried to abduct not only me but any kid in the neighborhood in Waltham. They had the same vibe as Eddie Cox or other creeps like that I have encountered after being aware of overt harassment. And that one guy that came into the store and bought a paper- the way he looked at me was like 'you little bitch, you got in my way'. Like a thwarted predator. These men have very dark energy. Only if you can 'see' can you see how their faces express what they are really up to. The driver had the exact same feel as Eddie Cox and others. He even looked the same. Scrawny with this slicked back hair that looked like he used old school Vitalis to keep it in place. Less than human. And something very very white trash about it all..but not stupid white trash. Very smart at catching prey, almost like hunters. Backwoods hunters.
Imagine a f*cker like that on his bike standing in the middle of Mass Ave near Berkelee School and telling me "No, in order to get survive this you just have to be nice". Frickin totally obnoxious, but your being subdued in a holding pattern by psychological warfare, multiple kinds of trauma and the worst use of tech that only became livable AFTER Bush left office.
Who can fight that? No one, not without prior special training. And I did not have it. The only thing I had was programming which was beyond my control, but seemed to go into a control mode of its own and luckily for me, there are places in the human mind that cant be reached that are safe. Like a cool dark basement where files are kept. And that info is even inaccessable to the survivor's alters.
Its a brilliant system and I suspect after years of being harassed and only now being able to look back and process some of it, can I say that its very likely that private companies contracted to the military or other factions or even on thier own are continuing MK Ultra type programs, perhaps they never discontinued by got sourced out as to avoid detection. With enough money one could indeed pull this off. Does the public honestly believe that there are NOT things that the ultra wealthy posess that they are not told about? I saw a vehicle once a very nasty computer expert drove who harassed me. It was a HUMMER the likes I have never seen and will never see again. It was huge and it was so decked out with toys and chrome that it didnt look road legal. It was the kind of car that one could park in a city ghetto anywhere an NO ONE would mess with it becuz obviously this guy is big time and you'll just disappear messing with his property. This fits in with how much money it seems these people have at thier disposal as well as access..like gaining control of an entire Greyhound bus for instance, that is supposed to be company property and strictly a scheduled run. I was told those buses have no cameras on them by a driver once. How convenient.
So for all of you that leave stupid comments on my YouTube like 'no one has that kind of money to bother haraassing you people take your meds' or whatever, you can stop wasting your time. These people have more money than I have ever seen in my life and I used to deal with rich people. This goes beyond wealthy.
Just the way they conduct themselves seems to put them in some other class of human being. If they are private contractors set out to harass or are involved in a private effort to continue MK Ultra til their desired end then there is an unbelievable amount of money in this. Either that or they are a front or operate as something else and to harass the TI is hidden.
Perhaps if they are involved in tech then harassing the TI is a controlled experiment which explains why they are doing what they are.
Its also very feasible that trying to see what makes programmed people tick is part of building tech such as robots in the future and companies want the edge so what is one woman's life or the lives of any TI's. With that much money at stake I can see human lives being unimportant aside from a resource.
That would expain why it seemed that especially after a mind wipe of files there was alot of poking around in there by some obviously false and outside faction using tech (dreams etc) to get into a TI's head-literally.
Then that makes me question who is presponsible for programming people to begin with if a certain faction (that reeks of military) has to poke around for answers like that. It was laughable too becuz the original programming system, wether it be inside a survivors programming as a program itself that runs to erase files upon suicide programmng being activated or if there are still parties running such a thing remotely somehow, it wiped all the files by that DAY and that NIGHT I had that dream with so much poking and probing around.
It was really dumb too. The con. A man behind a desk and me in this room, and I was asked these questions. I somehow knew even in my sleep this was a falsehood and intrusive. I used to be able to control my dreams years ago and see myself in my dreams. This was during my younger years and I had too many frightening experiences with psychic phenomena and this culture does not support us at all so its one of the reasons I started taking drugs espcially herion. I started to stay awake at night instead of waking up every 2 hours with nightmares (from TBMC and my mother's behavior moreso).
It was obviously an interrigation and there was something false about it and about him. I had been investigating my Lithuanian heritage and had become aware of how different eastern Europe is from western. I also realized how much the West hated Eastern Europe and Russia not just for its politics but the way the people thought in general. Being looted in my own 'home' I decided to bs this bastard and simply answered his questioning with smy own Willfulness and then stated "Welcome to Eastern Europe motherf*cker". At that point I ripped his face off and underneath it was a military person. That ended that dream real quick and it was obvious that there was some connection between the final mind wipe of files and that nights 'dream'.
I know its hard to believe or understand for TI's who are not targeted due to being survivors of branwashing and programming or anyone else for that matter. I would like to not believe it myself really but the gang stalking is jsut too methodical and obvious to not be real as well as the way I was sold out and sadly I have clued in that my mother may have sold me out for money. Just money. Imagine that.
That is why thsi system must separate families especially programmed ones. How can Massa utilize one slave if the others are protecting him/her?
Just read up on the way slaves have been historically handled- I mean the real nuts and bolts of slave handling. There is enough info on black slavery in the south to give you a good idea and I am sure that there is more written throughout history. Just add that to being able to program people like computers in addition to the old system of creating Hashashins, with brainwashing, trauma, druggings and promised rewards. That really is the jist of what goes on with people claiming to be programmed.
Notice how my programming and MC content is bleeding over into my gang stalking blog and i dont care. Its becuz the breaking down of programming means the breaking down of compartmentalization. The whole process is nothing but damaging the brain and destroying people's minds. They smear the TI so that no one will know what is really going on.
And the system will push this idea that this means you are de compartmentalizing, that this is healthy and good, that you are becoming a 'good' person, that you are progressing that this was necessary for the safety of yourself and others.
I see nothing but brain damage and what amounts to a lobotomy. Its to cover their asses and thats all.
They only keep you from suicide programming for experimentation or some bizarre new way of thinking that has inspired such bullsh*t as 'non lethal weapons'.
Let me tell you something. I would have rather died than live like this. Than to have my reality altered and my future re written for me. Weapons are weapons. This modern approach of half measures =humane is a trick, an illusion. A half measure of sulfur is still sulfur.
This is what Neil Young meant when he mocked elder Bush by the lyric "A kinder, gentler machine gun hand".
The insanity of the world we live in today is that people are taking to this. What this is really is an anestetizing of reactions to subjectmatter that are normal and human. Its done by using small doses of hard reality not available to the public before now and using it as a sort of inoculation to hard reality. Add a media culture that constantly desesitizes as well as isolates and insolates with a reward system of materialism, status and optimum predator rewards like health, strength and logevity.
Spiritually evolved people arent afraid to die.
Man is now facing being able to see on camera or in real time just how beastly he really is. In order to survive we cannot stop being this way nor do we know how or wish to anyway most of us. We are after all predators. In order to balance whatever is in us that makes us 'human' with our animalistic behaviors we have created this feel good culture that is the same old bullsh*t it always was but with a new method of concealing it. Its concealed by a brainwashing system so its tolerable. Thus its as if its not 'seen' at all.
This is why there are so many posts and writings on the internet about a new culture where corruption is viewed as part of doing business and its very open. Nobody wants to deal with it becuz they would rather survive.
What the greatest problem is, is that someone like me is NOT really a whistleblower. And for people in the system to try to convince me that I am going to become a great artist or an activist just by the act of me being targeted is ludicrous.
This is the rewards being dangled in front of me. Since I have been isolated and destroyed and beaten down and tortured and ripped from my old reward system as well as having any rewarding stimulous allowed at all, its easy for the gang stalking/behavior mod system to slowly introduce these results as rewards..like offering a light at the end of the tunnel.
WHAT WE MUST KEEP TRACK OF AND IN MIND ALWAYS AS TARGETS IS THAT ITS A TUNNEL THAT WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN PUT INTO TO BEGIN WITH.
We were abducted into this system and tortured into the actions we took to be safe and save our own lives.
My talents, skills, looks and physical health have been destroyed and that is not going to ever come back. For this system to successfully convince me to get over that and move on and take on a new life and live positively, they would have to have such a hardcore brainwashing system in use to achieve this.
They would also have to make us forgo all that has been dont to us and to lose memory of events and to somehow drain all the sorrow, hurt and anger. Not only does this sound very much like ritual it sounds like a form of vamprism. I wonder if there are people who drain off our pain and sorrow leaving us with nothing of our own, leaving us empty shells with false smiles for the public, born only out of fear and distress.
That is not a truly 'nice' person. Someone who can 'act' nice or has been so beaten down takes to believing or being that act in order to survive. I was a truly 'nice' woman or had a side to me that was very deep, very sensitive and artistic and very healing and 'nice' as well as my strong side, my predatory side etc like any other human being. I was also very angry about the way my life had gone and was sorting things out whic is and was my right.
Another purpose of the gs campaign as well is to use a Tavistock like method of re traumatizing in order to cancel out things like PTSD or anxiety. All this does is more brain damage and its torturing the person into behaving. Like Mark Phillips said, no therapist has that kind of time, that kind of love to give to heal MC suvivors. So blast em instead and if they want to live they will comply.
That is why gs offers the TI suicide. This is thier way of strengthening you in thier opinion. The more you fight suicide the more you will fight to live. In the process inconvenient memories that could expose them and others arond you are erased and you are brought down to the level of average in the end. Average, polite due to fear, respecting authority not for its valor but fearing the hand that beats, and with a Will to survive like never before..this obviously equals someone ready to give up dreams and conform to this Capitalist, consumer society...like never before.
There is NO reason that I had to die spiritually in order to succeed financially or otherwise. And its disgusting how they destroy many elements of ones' personality and focus on beefing up the activist or helping side. Its totally out of balance and its false order born out being absolutely desperate to make ORDER out of CHAOS, which is a boring concept I have had ot listen to many stupid, old people bring up again and again from thier college degrees due to these types being unable to be brilliant on thier own or think an original thought in thier whole lives.
A person who deprograms has the power to re create themselves and if the person is good in thier intentions they will try to achieve fairness and balance in that process, healing thier own wounds while giving something to humanity like life experience to help others. Also balance is achieved by one's own needs being satisfied like doing art one likes outside of a rewarding job.
This was my plan, during the time period that Scott stated I was "jsut about to bloom". I was attacked and destroyed so that my growth could be controlled.
I assume its partially due to part of my healing consisting of recalling memories in a therapists office or getting hypnotized. The memories before hte age of 6 seem to be the most damning ones for everyone involved, my mother screaming at me the lone statement: I WILL NOT BE CONDEMNED BY YOU!!!
No one trusted me to go on with my life in a balanced and safe manner for the good of all. Now I am more vengeful and full of hate than I can ever recall. Its my main focus really.
So then will fans of this system for reform please tell me why its 'good' or makes the target into a 'good' person. Thats bullshit. Its done to protect the guilty. Its also out of sheer petty jealousy. Much of destroying me and keeping me down is due to just that.
Lou Gheppetti once said in a very nya nya, childish taunting kind of way that now only SOME of my dreams will come true. "Not ALL of your dreams will come true but some". This is the exact kind of arrogance I reall from people like my mother and its very reminicent of that nasty sexist song Playing with Fire by the Stones. Its that kind of power trip, as if the TI did something wrong knowingly to deserve to be served or schooled in such a way.
A black woman with her kid with her, well dressed in Central Sq today looked at me and I can tell by now its a put on, that bs mean look becuz afterwards they always look like they feel bad...either about what was done to me or about having to hate on me due to being part of the mob.
I should have expected that humans are not capable of anything else and around Cambridge especially I am probably percieved as an outcast. Like that girl in school that is all alone and totally picked on in the halls and kids just shun her becuz the power structure has.
This is why the mechanics of bullying are so close to adult bullying or organized stalking and harassment for protection and profit.
We do not live in a world that encourages adults to grow out of childish, primitive habits but only to learn what they must do to be acceptable and gain a good 'front' that they are grown out of these things. That is the meaning of a Capitalist society- its your business what you do. And that is just fine. But when you start adding a totally Pinko agenda of feel good PC bullshit and people stop disiplining thier children and being taught to stand up for themselves you then have a bunch of rewarded, private people who are forced to engage in thier societies authorities, official and unofficial, making decisions for them, protecting them and speaking for them.
THAT is NOT a good combination. THAT is why so many people have left and this is NOT America anymore. Many of us love our country, but this piece of sh*t culture is not our country. This is not what we were promised. So f*ck it then. We will leave.
You give people anger management for defending themselves but you allow gang stalking for profit and in that is protection for pedophiles? As well charging men with the task of warring with other men...yet there is this feel good culture of PC over here and kids or weak, stupid and uncivil becuz you cant spank your kid anymore. OK so dont spank your kid, make him believe that all races and faces and everyone is the same and equal and then send him off to war...BRAINWASH central.
If this is not obvious to you as centralized social control then you may have a good life here due to the fact you are an idiot or insist on being one out of compliance. As the security at BU library once said of much of the security systems tactics nowadays hey, "We are just looking for compliance."
They sure the f*ck are.
Its slavery wake up. In truly evolved society of peace there would be no war or racial cold wars brought on by diversity shoved down peoples throats or racial issues solved by encouraging a class war.
True curing of racial hatred would involve people sitting in a room and talking to each other, trying to understand each other and learning from each other. And that is not everyones nature to want to grow in that respect. And that is thier right. What this society wants is a system that works not one that is true or even healthy for humans.
Its the same old justice for some but now even the reality of that is being kept from us. its like 'No you are NOT being ripped off and shunned. We wont cop to it.' This deception is quite a pretty picture, as long as one doesnt look too deeply or analyze using logic. And you have to have money to be part of this perfect picture as well as not have misbehaved I assume. Same old nonsense but what is so infuriating is that they have created a society of total injustice. As long as you black out the injustice that is a threat to the perfect picture, reasonably if enough mob agree to this, then it does NOT exist in agreed upon reality.
Like I said same old bs except no one admits or cares about cover ups now or losses of freedoms as long as it doesnt happen to them. I am hoping that grownup cultures across the sea have a bit more resistance to such a virus taking over their world due to thousands of years of dealing with wars, revolutions and dictatorships etc. It seems our flag is gone and John Wayne has been brainwashed into being a YUPpie metrosexual who lives in a souless condo complex..and Sambo has his ghettos, his church and his Prince Hall to keep him straight rich or poor as well as an up and coming class to match the hidden rich blacks in the USA no one knew existed via organized crime like every other ethnic group. And the cowboys that wont 'comply' will simply take it out on women or themselves as is all they can do traditionally when the man comes down on the heads of the blue collar. But now they can serve thier country or at least special interests by making thier woman beating tendencies an overt affair of mobbing the b*tch.
I really hate this country, I hate Boston, I wish Cambridge would get bombed of the map and I cant wait to write my book so none of these clowns has any excuse that they dont know the story. But it wont change anything as America is NOT a forgiving country. I am through here sure enough.
For all the Brits that think its forgiving moreso than over there due to Fergi having luck here after being finished in Britain, its becuz she was a Duchess and thats all. This country is horibbly insecure and are secretly Anglophiles. Its laughable how here all one has to do to make a crappy product or action seem less offensive is to add a voice to it that has a smooth Brit accent. Its hysterical.
I cant wait to leave even if it sucks I will never come back. Ever. But then again I am in Cambridge right now and my hometown sucks worse than any other part of the country. I also spend a great deal being angry here over what never should have happened and the future I lost.