I have posted this often, that there is a constant with daylight hours and the use of what must be tech and perhaps chemical influence as well, and also the use of remote human forces as well. The sun seems to intensify the effect but perhaps that is just my personal experience. This activty or induced state of being seems to follow a strict schedule- every single day from approx 6am to approx 12 midnight, depending on geographic location.
I can usually count on 2 or 4 am to be a time of peace, clear thought and an opportunity to gain some real rest, peace of mind and to hear my internal dialogue clearly as well as be able to dictate or 'write' mentally before publishing.
During the day when I publish most of my work I cannot do this. I often sound like a total idiot or the foot soldier harassment has me angry or feeling threatened. (As of a few days ago my internet is constantly shutting itself off. It could be the stick, if its bent too many times it begins to malfunction.)
We truly do now live in a psychocivilized society and as I saw clearly at the beginning of my other blog, ONMC.Worpress, a system of normalizing torture in daily existence and a lack of peace is creating a living hell on earth..but one becomes so used to this that one numbs and desensitises, so that one no longer notices. I wonder if this is the 'peace' spoke about in the grand plans for a NWO. Peace via tight social control and constant torture, so much so that people no longer notice it.
There has been alot of remote influence here lately, very heavy. To the point where all I do is fight that instead of being able to focus on what I am needing to do. Its a constant focus on breaking me down and getting me under control..though the exact content has varied due to my postings. After I posted how bad it was the other day using sexual torture I noticed it became more about humiliation lately. And about trying very hard to focus instead on my being poor, meaningless and needing to give up fighting due to it being all in vein etc.
Boston has alot of foot soldiers and the harassment is very subtle. Subtle but constant along with remote influence. Again, if you think I am nuts then why is it on a time schedule? And why does it cease underground or in other environments that are scientifically documented to block such things as microwaves? JUST becuz I am nuts? I am a very fortunate TI. I have a pedigree of sorts, though its second generational. My mother is a documented survivor of human radiation experimentation via her parents both in the Marines and in a hospital very closely connected to MK Ultra. I also have some info that could be truly embarrassing to certain people so I look a bit less crazy as well as I am not approached with so much force as direct attempt to just throw me into a prison cell- though I have been antagonized in the hopes of my reacting to get that result in the past.
The system instead drives me crazy daily, blocks my access to resources and communications as well as wastes my time and messes with my personal feelings daily- every f*ckin day of my life now as it has been for many years- except on holidays of course which is still a mystery to me, but it may be that as part of a cult brainwashing program I am in, holidays the torure is stopped in hopes of brainwashing me into percieving normal society as 'good' and accepting thier holidays as part of my own schedule. The end result with my campaign is to break down any and all special talents or strengths I have and make me average, and get me to be part of society so no no notices me or questions my past as well as I no longer recall being a survivor of ritual abuse or programming.
The system must then make one feel so unacceptable in who one really is that one just leaves reality behind and forms a false Self to survive. All along with good ol denial.
I can see my potential future now, this is what thier desired outcome of behavior modification would sound like if I finally caved in:
(FABRICATED FOR EXAMPLE):
" I had a 'hard time' for a while but now I am so much better. I thought and believed strange things, I was mistaken. It was all due to being mixed up with 'the wrong crowd' and I no longer associate with those people anymore. I acknowledge my past and my wrong doing to society and others in my life, and I am going to let society help me. I am not special. I give my life over to serving society and I give my Will over to the system and my soul, mind over to the state and my emotions over to a male who will become my husband. We will live normally as if nothing ever happened. I will not try to be perfect anymore, I will be comfortable with being out of shape, average and caring about others not myself soley, very into my community. Everything a good average American nowadays should be.
I see the new way of doing things is best and I should go along with that as its what the authority figure wants. I also acknowledge that men run the world and I am just a mere female, though I do have my strengths and purpose. I may be talented and artistic and I should give this over to the state in the interest of serving my community.
I no longer want to be eccentric or creative or a loner who ponders and 'thinks' too much. And of course all this is very much linked to the system abusing sexuality so most of the urge to say such things comes from having abusive authority forever in one's mind connected to a feeling of sexual arousal and even orgasm.
This is how the system got me under 'control', by taking a weak spot I had in my personality from my past and my childhood, exploiting that and making it thier own. They own me now, they have control over me. Policemen are heavily mentally associated with sexual control over me as a target, even though I never thought much about them before being heavily targeted. This has bonded me to the police forces and I now obey the state which they too obey and work for. I view them as my handlers and even if I marry or become involved with someone, I internally always acknowledge that they are ultimately in control on behalf of the state. THis is from years of psychological warfare and the use of sexual abuse such as rape via remote influence as well as public humiliation by in person human forces, as well as ideations from remote influence.
Due to my weakness as a female in this area, a weakness in my character that made me a 'screwup' or whatever in thier eyes or improper in society, they brilliantly used this weakness to make me into a loving, humble, stronger woman who can be trusted to not think of her self but of men and taking care of socieyt like women should tend to. Thier goal was to make me stronger in this process. TO make me finally come around to seeing the way most average people live as enjoyable and attractive. It much resembles behavior modification in prisons, complete with guards utilizing rape for the exact same effect and results. Rape and intimidation.
THey dont want happy individuals they feel that the good of all is most important and that too much honesty is unhealthy for a balanced society. THey want reformed people who will serve the machinery of society and conform, NOT healthy, healed indivuduals.
The reason for this is that a hightly intelligent female who is attractive and multi talented with a legit ax to grind will most likely seek balance through seeking justice within the system- for herself and others. THis is a threat to the system and its inherent corruption.
The best ideal citizen who is a survivor of programming and slavery is to ensure they dont have any personal power to seek justice or revenge on society (its starting: 5:38 am. I can feel the difference, I am already unable to finish this piece as it was flowing from my inner dialogue. I started this piece at around 4:50 am or so. It is now light out.)
The point is to ensure that a person like myself is never truly healed or finds true justice for themselves. The point is to rescar them so badly that everything, including the original wounds heal over. Sounds like a good idea right? Men are always doing things like that, its the way they think: 'rip your muscle tissue and it will grow back stronger'. Besides American's like struggle, not success or the creation of a perfect state of balance. They are inherently slobs who enjoy fighting more than winning- living more than peacefully existence. I was much like a normal ancient human, a hunter-gatherer: nomadic, peaceful but attuned to hunting and action in self defense. Sophisticated yet primitive. Balanced. This is totally foriegn to American culture as they set much better in a farmer's mentality. Nomads are suspect and so is anyone who lives communally. I had to change this about my Nature, and even though I was perfectly normal for a painter, society is not yet ready to see painters as real people but still likes to regard them as mysteries, and those mysterious creatures are always MEN. Women are not allowed to be volatile.
THier plan sounds good but really its akin to creating a vast garbage dump and instead of doing things PROPERLY, they simply cover it over and built homes on top and plant flowers and sh*t. I now realize that THIS is the American way and that its most socially acceptable, therefore I desire to be part of it. I want society to trust me, not as a wise elder or a female coming into a phase as such, which may be normal in a primitive society or our European ancestors culture, but its not America's way. A wise female elder who is not a mother of children is highly suspect and dangerous. But I want them to trust me as one of them...and even if its not truly who I am I am willing to learn and to take part. I want to conform and belong.
I was raped and harassed and tortured with love from the overlords and oppressors in the system, represented by the ideal of law enforcement authority owning my sexuality. THis ensures that no matter who I take on as a husband, the STATE always controls me within the deepest reaches of my mind, and due to the torture being so horrible and severe, there is nothing much left except what THEY have brought forward as acceptable in thsi new Self that has been formed. This is what that perp in AZ meant when he stated that I was "only allowed to grow very conditionally". It was all for my own good and my future happiness, so that I could be a child of American society, just another citizen, and let the Big Boys at the top make all the decisions about how we all live and I not have to worry my pretty little head shouldering such responsibility."
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT HORSESHIT?? THAT IS ACTUALLY WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR EVENTUALLY and they will jam me and harass me and mess with me until I accept that as a reality. Either that or they just want me labeled in some institution somewhere, to go as far as possible with the abuse and harassment until I am drooling in a chair sitting looking out the window of an institution for the rest of my life. That by the way is a horrible vision thrust upon me in Buffalo NY during the height of the harassment as my decided end in all this. That and a vision forced on me in Tempe AZ where this was very active, hardcore harassment and all the other sh*t that goes with it in campaigns, me being totally insane and a bag lady, not just a houseless traveler like now but just totally gonzo, carrying a trash bag and shit- for life.
How can I trust the system to give me some sort of refuge upon me agreeing to conform or 'behave' when it alternately shows me its most sadistic desires? To put an end to ME. I dont trust this system and all its forcing confession via torture such as making on think one is going to die like in St Louis as well as other locations to a lesser degree of severtiy, along with threats such as that for a horrible outcome no matter what one does anyway.
These people are not reforming anyone. They are sadistic torturers who seek to destroy after they decieve one into compliance. Why should anyone trust them? Becuz its not true negotiations its facism and oppression. THEY ONLY WANT COMPLIANCE, your needs and wants and desires dont matter for sh*t. And the only reason I am kept alive is to see just how long it takes to break me down to give in.
I will take me own life before I will give in to a system that represents itself as just for going about things so sneakily and violently, and then alternately plays sadistic games with its targets. Lately I have been getting this ideation or impression that many of the people involved in this now acknowledge how messed up things were done during Bush and they are oh so very sorry and 'its not like that now, its not being done like that anymore'.
This is an obvious tactic to do damage control. To ensure that no one ever finds out about your past crimes and mistreatment and that no one who was victim to such things ever exposes such things and gets justice or alternately revenge.
Again its all bullsh*t. And thats if you believe I am not just nuts to begin with.
No. This is way to similar to torture being done to people at places like Gitmo and other camps the public isnt even readily aware of unless they really read up on it.
And you go back and look at what was connected to MK ULtra as well as the other human experimentation. Its all connected.
By the way the best way to turn someone like me into a lone nut shooter, an unexpected murder suicide or suicide- all with sentiments of "gee, she seemed so nice" by nieghbors, is to push me to the point of breaking and forming a false Self like that above, never really taking care of the real damage underneath. I will certainly go postal one day if a bs self, a dishonest invention like that ever appears. And I wont be able to control it either becuz, hey, I gave up reality right? To 'conform' and fit in. To play nice with society. Yer asking for a time bomb then.
That is NOT the proper way to deprogram someone..its not even deprogramming. Its damaing them and harassing them into your way of being, which is cult brainwashing. ITs not even strong enough to be considered programming on the levels of the original programming..which is why residual TRUE programming will remain underneath and becuz that is quality and this is sh*t it will prevail, just as the original programmers intended.
Its akin to putting a McDonalds billboard add over the Mona Lisa. Its not going to stick..or when those coked up idiots in the 80's hastely decided to refurbish the sphinx without studying the materials first. Do you honestly believe the original masters would allow that? Time is meaningless to them. So when modern man in all his glory (snicker) and stupidity tried to sloth some crap material onto the Sphinx the original shedded it like the unacceptable garbage that it was. NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Truly Luciferian. Perfection, nothing less than properly done. If not, then destroy the creation but do NOT allow it to become corrupted...or at least stay that way. Just becuz man wants it that way. Fuck modern man.
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