Why the hell do I keep having flashes and emotional ideations to go home right now and start taking classes at UMass? OK I get it that I am out here wasting my life and that I am smart and could ace college still with brain damage and physical damage..
But its too late for that. This system should have thought about that when they came after me during that federal investigation in the pathetic attempt to frame me up and get rid of me.
F*ck EVERYBODY who was involved in this. Just the other day some moron I told that I loved TN especially Nashville cuz they are nice to travellers said "oh yeah they like wild down there" Uh I am from New England, I am sure everyone has noticed how much of a tight ass I am at times even having a conservative streak. WHat everyone means by that is 'an artist' or 'creative person with high intelligence'. Morons.
And this 'wild' and 'aggressive' streak is what was the basis for the system using as an excuse to harass me and destroy my health and my whole life.
If anyone honestly thinks that I will do ANYTHING this system asks of me they just forget it.
I should have went to UMASS after my vocational testing and had the life of my choosing. OF my OWN WILL. THere is NO WAY I am going to give this system ANYTHING IT WANTS ever ever ever. And you can BET on that as a sure fire win.
The audacity of this system is outrageous.
Oh I am sure that its all part of the big excuse to destroy my life..I can just here the bs now 'Well she needed to calm down before she could get serious about school and building a life'.. I am sure they want to believe desperately themselves so they can avoid guilt and further disclosure.
Let me tell you f--kers something right now.
You will never be forgiven. I see the classism, sexism and racism that ran amock in this campaign against me. I will NEVER let go of the original time line where I was young and beautiful and had at least a better health condition than now. I will NEVER forget all the sh*t that was done to me and I will NOT let the system shelve me. I will DIE with this computer in my cold rigomortused hands and if you try to take my story from me I will come back from the other side and suck the life out of you. You and my family and my ex associates and the crooked cops will NEVER control me beyond what is out of my control to prohibit.
The resistance will NEVER end and no one ever will be able to sleep at night knowing that I, the inconvenient little problem, am out of the way for good. When you jerks see the video of my final art project- me aflame on a funeral pyre in the desert then you will know you can forget me and what you all did to me. Until then I am going to continue the resistance.
They still dont get it do they. I WENT THROUGH 3 LAYERS OF SUICIDE PROGRAMMING I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE AS I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD ANYWAY therefore none of this matters to me.
Also my life is ruined and without a full acknowledgement of what was done to me, an apology and some sort of restitution for my pain suffering and loss you will NEVER hear the end of me.
The cops are the worst as they know that all they have to do is wait around and eventually the problem WILL go away. Its like they have done this many times before to various people. They know how it all works as if according to a clock. Bastards.
My book stands and if you think I am dumb enough to go back to that moldy, polluted ghetto knowns as Boston your the one who should be viewed as crazy. The tech being used there most likely for very covert anti terror considering the value of the institutions and people there, is way to strong to fight mentally or with any other kind of tactic. Boston is a dead city, its been infultrated and destroyed. Only the elite can have any kind of life there. Screw Boston.
I want the crooked cops, my family, my ex associates and all the politicians who helped them as well as the civilians there to get down on thier knees and line up to kiss my ass, which, being too good for them, they will only recieve a slap in the face and a kick to the ground. Without that I am very sorry but I am never coming home and they can aaaallllllll ROT in hell. hahahahah.
Like was said to me many times in the past "YOU DESERVE IT"...good. Now YOU all deserve it.
They should all feel very very fortunate that I have no money or power. VERY fortunate.
But that is why I was targeted right? I recall on a bus during the harassment in the beginning some guys who were overt perps just sat there discussing how working girls being destroyed "have no power" and that is the ultimate reason they lose the game.
Hmmmm would these 'working girls' also be second generation human experimentees or perhaps programmed? Yer lucky my theta 'wiring' has been ripped out. Another reason to not let me get a good look at who is behind this...so I have no faces to focus on mentally. I only WISH I did.
The idiot downstairs in Imerial Pizza at 335 Washington st at the old apartment where all this started looked at me one day and said " You're lucky it could have been worse".
What exactly are we talking about? What some victim witness cover story around the fed investigation? Thats bullshit right there.
I dont know why everyone is so convinced of some straight forward story that seems to make sense amidst all this insanity when in fact the TRUTH is close to utterly insane and was a bitch to piece together over the years..with a little help from covert operatives who for some reason drop me info.
I wasnt stupid I was deprogramming. Its like a chrysalis, and they purposely disturbed by transition period...for that they need to pay and pay until there is no more blood left to drain. (poetic lic of coure...the truth of what happened is so much better than violence from me. besides that is what the system wants and I dont want to give them anything they want from me.)
I will go to college when I can walk in there proudly and have anyone who was gonna even think of f*ckin with me bow thier head unable to look at me. THAT is when I will grace that place with MY damn presence. Until then- f*ck off.