Fairly peaceful last night as I stayed in a MOTEL 6 that was in a completely different neighborhood. Still alot of interaction mentally but that just seems to be Phoenix's mo for the mental and emotional parts here.
Recently the targeting that is mental and emotional has consisted of:
-constatnt influence to persuade me to forget all that happened, move on and be at peace with what happened
-a fake feeling of peace and in some locations in-constact-with-God like bliss. Uh, thats ok if its genuine but when it ceases at a certain hour and I can bet on certain times like clockwork then its a con job.
.. feelings of docility (damage control prob). In Pheonix there has been a feeling that people who saw or were in on this in 2007 see the damage and now either feel bad or want to help a healing process.
YOU MADE YOUR MOVES, YOU CHOSE YOUR SIDES.
awww are you gonna claim that the perps and the system promised you that it wudnt go this far or that it wud stop sooner?
YA you wud be stupid enough to believe that. U know how I survived? (outside assistance along the way by parties unknown)
I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT I WAS UP AGAINST AND HOW DANGEROUS THIS SYSTEM IS. Whoever interfered and did not understand they were being used is not going to use ignorance as an excuse.
Another thing. WHen Rebecca in St Louis MO told me that a it was being attempted to get me labeled due to "you have alot of jealous women in your family" I never understood she meant my DAD'S FAMILY as well.
Makes sense. Geraldine my dads sister as well as my mother started communicating once I tracked my dads fanily down in '89. They had been talkig since.
This is the famiy that my mother mentioned might be mafia related as well as Gerry is a paranoid that used to come down the stairs screaming at me and her beta male scrwny executive hubby as we hadd a drink together that "YOU THINK I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON HERE?" Give it a break lady. I was just a kid. I was like 19 or so. I wa busy being confused all the time like other 19 year olds.
OK so prior indications of jealousy as motive have definately been established.
Then yoou have my crazy Grandmother Nancy Cedrone, claiming that at a family wedding this guy in a suit with 'respect my authriti' reflective sunglasses on indoors had done secret service work for the Kennedy's.
And there was a certain point where they made a strong and successful effort to cut themselves off from me in a way that reminds me of the same turning away I recieved from everyone in my life really in 2003 or so--one cud tell they were afraid.
alot of Boston perps that did overt harassment in person wud say things about my panhandling really focusing on my family and how they must be so proud of me i am panhandling. As if I was an embrassment and i should consider that--by force.
the perps will tell u anything but i just wonder how much of it is true even partially so.
2 days ago