I can depend on feeling so sexualized against my Will in AZ (past Eloy going west) espexcially around Phoenix that I know it will lead to either agravation or a shut down of my personality due to it resembling trauma. Its funny how no one wants to believe TIs but our experiences, at least the ones I document show that its got to be either tech or chemicals due to the same experiences in the same locations and time frames.
I also knew it was 12 midnight tonite in the time zone I was last in being stationary becuz my annoying false personaity fell away....all I had to do was look at the clock and sure enough. The way I feel before 12 midnight especially at night is like a vegatable, and as a woman very docile or helpless..and nicey nicey. Like a good girl or a nun. At midnight my smarts return and my natural sharpness and assertiveness.
Its so obvious that all the sexist elements that have engaged in this battle with me are really behind this program one hundred percent. That there really is a faction that is desperate to contain some women at any cost...the thing that is so sickening is that the system seems to want to either turn me into the most depraved slave or turn me into a goody goody nun or a fat old caretaker type. These are just about all the types of women men can deal with. The only other kind wud be if I was a mother or if I was young and still able to be of value for sexual exploitation.
This is the saddest thing about mind control slavery- the person will always be reduced to being what they were exploited for or known for (or exposed as). The system is damned and determined to destroy all of the perceptions of the person's inner SELF or an potential that the person has. THey want the world to only have a certain view of the survivor and then reduce them to what a person like that wud become if they did not consist of anything else other than that one dimensional character.
For instance the system has to make a big deal about my former lifestyle and even continue a coveert smear campaign to make it appear this is still my lifestyle due to the fact that covert influence is being hammered onto me constantly that will (they hope) result in me either becoming something worse than that (washed up old whore, becoming desperate and going into being a submissive sex slave of the most lowest and depraved level) or if I dont want that for myself I can give into the harasment to become a virginal type who is so goody two shoes that THAT isnt normal either. Or I can become what most 40 year old women become which is old fat and weak and stupid and caretaker types or work some job where you serve people and smile and act nice and civil..even though if left to my true form without being gang stalked or harassed or tech influenced constantly I wud probably look only 30 and be working a job I actually wanted like councilor for people in the biz who are trying to transition but THERE IS NO PROGRAMS FOR THAT AND THE PUBLIC HAVE TO BE KEPT UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT SEX WORKERS ARE DOING SO BY CHOICE AND THEY DESERVE WHAT THEY GET. This helps cover for the clients, the madams, ppimps and even drivers or cabbies- all of whom use mind control and even drugs to control thier 'assets' in this industry. They also dont want anyone to know how many people in this industry are trauma survivors thus suffer from DID or even MPD which is the only way anyone could do a job like that.
THEN we get to how mamy of THOSE people have higher level programming for other purposes that they REALLY dont want revealed...and also anyone like another survivor for instance who has shown a marked ability to be good at deprogramming others or to bring people out of mind control...well that person is just going to have to be shut down and destroyed.
Welcome to my world.
These f*ckers will never leave me alone as long as I insist on continuing my lifepath and trying to be independant of the system. Either whore or mother...that is all these f*ckers understand.
So I am your Brian Jones to thier stones, Sid Barret to thier Floyd.
They willa ll go on to hsve geat successes where I will be left behind to be reminisnet of another era (the 90s in this case opposed to the 60's). My mother and her family Jake Julie and everyone who ehlped gas light me and drive me crazy will go on to have greast lives but I wont ever be what I could have been.
My mother used to tell me when I was little-"youll never find what you are looking for., you'll never be what you want to be" in her annoying 3 hour cocaine lectures wihen I wa little. Little did I realize she was prediciting my future..probably one she had all laid out for me as the fami9ly human sacrifice. he haqtes me cuz I remind her of dqnny and they e hatge me cuz i look like her. fuck all of you for what you did to me. you all sacrificed me soi you could escape your crimes and tu think trying to frame me up as mental will help you escape what you did you know what you did to me and i hope yopu pay for it someday