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Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

merry xmass you bastards

so its ok that I have to live in chronic pain now for life?

I will never let that happen...especially since that bullsh*t you assh*les pulled to frame me for that c*cksucker Jake trying to make me out to be some drug seeker and all the while like when I got my finger bit off my Mary Holliday's dog or dental procedures it was always trying to make it so I was in pain. (It never failed that if I needed relief from pain there was always some attempt to keep me there. Its becuz the Target or perhaps the survivor needs to be as truamatized as possible as much as possible. It is part of the system of control that must be maintained over the person for life..but it also helps if you are trying to divert attention from a rich kid drug dealer and make his poor girlfriend who is supposedly from 'the street' look like its all about her.)

And so now I dont go to doctors due to the harassment I have recieved in the past. Good one with having dentists be the worst *ssholes to me so now I have lost my sense of smell due to a back tooth infection for life as well as daily I am in pain in my jaw where the tooth was removed...due to a caviation. good luck getting anyone outside of the professor at a dental college to either know or admit what that is.
it sucks to be smart and subjegated.

this is part of the reason i dont want to hang around. the damage and pain from that damage is only going to get worse as well as the brain damage from the mold is only going to get worse.

I will never forget this guy in Tenpe named David Nary: Perp or just creep who can tell? Well, he did say that his friends at homeland security at his airport job told him that "There is alot that people know about you from your cell phone records"out of nowhere and he also stated how corruption was part of the system 'back east'. Good cop, bad cop huh?
This same a-hole was watching football once and was sympathising as sexist pigs do (get a room and just admit you like to think about fucking men and your mom is either over bearing or your in love with her so no other woman is good enough) with one of the players as he committed suicide due to docs telling him his memory loss would get worse in future due to head injuries...
oh, but I get no sympathy as well as I get called 'stupid' constantly by people who are harassing me and that certainly adds to how I feel about the brain damage and memory loss due to that moldy apartment. Becuz hes a MANNNN and a FAMOUS ATHLETE he must be better quality than me. awwwww.

f*ck your society and your bullshit false sympathies. You are all selfish children who shove your kids in daycare and your parents in every day care while you swallow anti depressants and sit on your asses driving in a seat to a seat at your jobs..anything more than that reqiured and you form unions that are corrupt as to scream and cry and get your way or you demand being paid ridiculous wages while whining the whole time anyway.
I have been across this country now and seen how much money is out here and how much land. THE LIFE I HAVE BEEN KEPT FROM IS ABSOLUTLEY OUTRAGEOUS considering how much is out here.. Tell me why again there are any homless people AT ALL?? You are all so full of sh*t.
So destroying my life was more of a luxury for the *ssholes in this country than out of necessity. Its something they were allowed to indulge in that cost them nothing in an enviroment of political corretness where no one is allowed to get away with anything. Now the racists can be as racist as they want the sexists can get back at ever sexual harasssment lawsuit and on and on with anyone looking to experience vengence on the system that oppresses them.

So targets are used to satisfy an oppressed society's dark urges. Its a taboo they can indulge in.
I want it to cost them something. I want them to pay. I want them to have to answer as well as cry for what they did. I want them to cry out of fear and pain not regret as most people who are into destroying me seem to not understand they are wrong. So they need to be drawn to that conclusion. Well, a bad economy is not enough and besides you are mostly punishing those that helped me or sympathize with me. I dont want that . I want only the bastards punished. I want them all wiped out and I want it to be a crime to even taunt a victim of harassment this high level:
What the fuck are employess of fast food places doing giggling at me when it took some cash and connections WAAAAYYYY above thier level to get this done and pull this off to begin with?? oh is this the infamous theory of 'trickle down?' That targeting a TI on the top levels will benefit the f*ckin peasants at the bottom? You are going to let this go that far so I have to deal with nobodies messing with me?
Enough of handing the power over to the useless eaters. Enough with dealing with these commoners in an attempt to naviagate me away from whoever is at the top becuz it took a hell of alot more money to pull all this off than some stupid fucks at a bank (like say bank of america in phoenix az. I havent forgotten the perps there and under hypnosis i could see your faces again very clearly) or some fast food restaraunt could accomplish.
does that make you all happy to know that I dont look good anymore and that I am in pain all the time and that I battle emotional pain constantly? does that give you petty moralizing self righteous c*nts satisfaction for whatever my grandfather did or my uncle or my mother did to you or your families or to piss you off? I am goin to make those monsters look simple. Everyone of those pricks i just mentioned is a cowards except maybe for my stupid homocidal mafia leg breaker uncle who is a coward in his own way when now being violent. heroin killed all the memories didnt it? and now the wife and kids keeps reality at bay. ]
you all sold out the wrong bitch.

and the more you do the sacrificial lamb routine which is really scapegoating the more you will see the lion.
there will be no laying down of the lion and the lamb with each other just a blood bath to see who f*ckin wins.
and if this is your grand moment where you try to say "she s crazy and dangerous" i think
-i have always been too smart for that frame up
-its been done to death the crying wolf routine
-i'm Italian as well as Lithuanian. Why did you think you could out 'sneak' me? Havent done alot of reading on ancient Rome or especialy the battle tactics of eastern europeans..oh thats right. Most gentiles only get exposure to eastern europe via Jews as they went through there and picked up everthing from culture to DNA (which they deny till they drop) to music to body language and now call it thier own. This is the most exposure that the USA gets concerning being Slavic. Good all the more for my gentile enemies to be ignorant about. You wouldnt have the discipline to look that shit up anyway the way some of us use the computer for research..to busy with porn are we? go fuck yourselves. (oh I am sorry did I not mention that I am on my way out over the next few years and that NO ONE is exempt from my hitlist on this blog? Deal with it. Those bastards in Brookline who fucked me to protect their prescous Julie I assume. I went by thier temple a few times after I got destroyed...it went cold. Good and let it remain so. Brookline can rot for all I care. Drop Dead is the friendly sentiment is it not? Oh and the same to you f*cks in Newton. Drop Dead as well.

I wont be back in MA and all I will be doing is writing.. yeah real dangerous. Sorry that isnt going to work anymore. NOT AFTER YEARS OF HAVING TO LEARN TO HOLD MY EMOTIONS WHILE BEING HARASSED CONSTANTLY WHILE DEALING WITH HEART TEARING PAIN FROM BETRAYAL AND DESTRUCTION. . Now I can funciton under full battle and remain still as a statue and remain calm. I hope what you forced me to learn serves you well in your destruciton. Go ahead, sent perps and keep em coming. Keep messin with me, and keep harassing me. Keep having people come up to me and tell me shit that they shouldnt know. Keep having the public laugh at me all the time and people disregard me with total disrespect.
Keep trying to antagonize me so I let off on someone who deserves it while under IMMENSE PRESSURE THAT MOST HUMAN BEINGS COULDNT DEAL WITH. There is a reason most human beings couldnt deal with it and I can.
The trick wont work anymore now i am hip to how it works and what to do about it.
ALso that bitch mother of mine with her crying wolf prematureley "oh my god shes crazy like danny oh no shes schizo blahblah' does anyone with any decency believe this woman? or is it right what Lou Gheppettti said to me..that my family's cruely to me is infamous and that my mother is 'sick'. I think that is the case and always has been.
She really blew it when she tried to accuse me of that in the car that day AFTER telling me that the harassment is due to the federal investigation and the feds thinking I know more than I do. Then she tells me at one point that 'they' are afraid of me. She is such a bitch. I bet she helped drive my father insane instead of him BEING insane. Thats how my mother is....anyone who doesnt give her her way gets strong armed. My grandmother sits there and glorifies her as a fighter (against her own abuse of course-they are all so sick in that family) and will say " shes working all the angles your mother, shes always working an angle" Anna always did prefer to be the accessory to a crime instead of the direct perpetrator. She is such a pro at central control its amazing.
Then again what do I know I am just 'crazy'..uh I think not.
If I am so horribly mentally ill then why do I have little rich bastards going by me while I beg on the street to eat saying "ha ha you deserved it". How can I deserve this treatment is it is not happening and I am merely mentally ill? Oh i assume I imagined that as well then?

YOU WILL NOT WIN
YOU WILL NOT BE RIGHT
YOU WILL NOT BE THE VICTORS
YOU WILL NOT REMAIN COMFORTABLY IN DENIAL AND A COVER STORY
YOU WILL NOT CONTINUE TO SNICKER LIGHTLY AT THIS SITUATION AS YOU SEEM TO FEEL SUPERIOR TO ME IN MY SITUATION as if this whole thing is akin to a kid being in trouble and getting punished who needs to learn the way the world works and its just so cute--get f*cked.

This is not the way the world works and the more you ignore me in an attempt to conitnue to experience this as some sort of luxury or amusement the more I will IGNORE YOUR APPROACH as what have i got to lose as i seem to gain nothing from trying to keep my composure.

One really hard core *sshole in this -one of those people connected to this whole thing that is especially scary said to me that the way to survive this is "to be nice"
F*CKING NICE???!!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO BE NICE??!!!!
And the TI ends up being nice. why?
BECUZ WHEN SOMEONE IS CONSTANTLY TERRORIZED THEY HAVE TO BE NICE TO HOLD IT TOGETHER WHEN INSIDE THEY ARE BEING DESTROYED BY THE PAIN AND SUFFERING andconstant managing of well deserved anger.
Be nice to my middle finger as I crawl into my grave over the next few years. Your comin along.
 
Merry xmas c*cksuckers. Think about me having nothing and being on the street or the road as I have for years....choke on everything you eat and i hope hell befalls you on that day. Get drunk on New Years and crash you cars. I hope drunk drivers kill your loved ones.
Be glad when I check out cuz itll be the only peace this world ever gets. they will ignore everything I do anyway.
I am dead already...good then it dont matter what i do.

there will be no lawyers no court rooms and no law suits. I tried that and your world failed me...that is your turf and I never get any respect there and didnt when I sued OLNICK or tried to. So now you cant fight and win becuz i totally disregard your bullsh*t system.
Alota good Drew's Dad does now huh? Sloppy attempted frame up by the way. You suck and you always were a jealous unhappy untalented rich kid Shadawrway and your dad cleans up your messes. F*ck you and yoiur white trash brother BO. F*ck you whole famiuly and f*ck the Middle East Club.
Your house in Newton is ugly by the way and your still a jealous bitch no matter how much money your c*cksucking famliy has. Piss off.
I constantly think of the pink silk lining of your guitar case as your casket. What a joy to imagine you in it. Pathetic attempts to aggrevate me by having that nerd girl at the Middle East terrorize Jake a few times...what was her name? Ingrid. Total nerd. Jealous much? There isnt anything money cant buy I assume. Scott came in gloating that you got busted for cocaine..none of my concern boy. I didnt set it up and so its not my revenge. Programmed people take a bit longer to 'thaw out' so to speak...a bust. Probably cop friends of my family or associates. Who cares about them.?...thats their idea of revenge. Mine is much more..oh spiritual.
I dont deal with cop and robber games as I find thier world tedious and boring and resent being pulled into thier pettty BS over the last many years..that waste of my time also requires payback.
Cops are bulldogs-hounds at the gates. Is there a reason I should have to deal with people constantly who's nature is a mystery to me so they constantly have the upper hand and who's entire existence is beneath me? better yet is there a reason that a black(?) cop and a white cop in Central Sq Cambridge during the height of the harassment had thier bit of fun during all this by asking me out and the black one turns to me and says "Rachael we demand you go out to dinner with us" and the only way I escaped this was to remind him he was doing this in a very public place? And the white cop in the drivers seat said "Im looking right into your eyes" and "you really are just an artist? Youd really date me if I was an artist?" no but your messing with a programmed person and that conversation and your face is recorded in my minds eye for use at a later date according to what my handlers have planned or my internal systems have pre programmed. Then he offers me his card and since I didnt want to be involved I refuse and state that me taking his card indicates I may indent to call him there fore I refuse. I learned that from the Godfather movie for christs sake...I have had to survive while being toyed with for years through scary situations and bumbling through all this.
Its fun to be able to toy with someone isnt it? When you think you may be toying with your toy you may be toying with someone elses sophisticated toy...welcome to programming boys. Its gonna be a fun ride.

Like I said that revenge is not my affair as I dont trust policemen as I have been insulted and disrespected one too many times..by the crooked ones anyway.

If I find out any of this is the FBI screwing around..what purpose would that serve? COINTELPRO was over years ago. Its probably just infiltrated. You think of the Feds and you think respectable and more efficient than police..oops another childish perception destroyed by gang stalking.

How much does it cost to get that much dirt off those suits? As long as there is corruption there will always be money to pay I assume.
you may also go straight to hell with everyone else from this day forward.

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