I am trying to answer e mail on my youtube account.
this idiot behind me with a new york accent that annoyed me the minute i heard his voice to begin with is not pissing me off even more.
first i can feel him behind me trying to see what i am doing.
then i hear comments like "i have been experimenting for years (with some computer code) and its made me stronger and faster and funnier..all that"
i did not like that and it had just a bit of competition and jealousy to it. I hate men who have this swagger about them where women are supposed to fall for them when they walk into a room. you can feel it, then a woman like ME is going to resist this pull. Especially becuz his voice is deep and sultry he will especially be resisted. Never trust that NY accent ever..its a cold and deadly place, though fun and NYers must be dealt with using caution.
Men like this must be resisted. They are nore akin to women in competition with us than men who want to make love to us and i mean courting and all that goes with the old meaning of 'making love' to someone. The whole process of being attractive to a woman. If they were really men you could depend on they would either be friendly to a woman and make her laugh etc, be a seducer of sorts with the whole bit i just mentioned or they would be straight forward natural men and not waste time in putting forth thier lustful intentions and simply try to get us to fool around with them as soon as possible.
There is something really creepy about guys that play bitchy games like girls. Uber creepy.
Which disqualifies them from being Men...thus thier attraction they are putting out towards you is more akin to a spider attracting flies than a man trying to get a woman to sleep with him or find him desirable. Its about Power with these types not sex.
So essentially they are rapists. Watch your ego and your sense of self. You can feel these types sucking you in from across the room.
Anyway, then he went out with his little buddy and as he came back in he was saying something about efficiency and to his young protege he mentioned how well degradation works to improve efficiency.
The kid he was talking to was shocked and they were sitting one in front of me and the stalker behind me.
I could feel the tearing down of ME and I have learned over the years that you need to start fighting right away.
I ignored this idiot and I also made a very calm and conscious decision to move my physical position and location. A strategic position in a room is key to survival often times.
Now as i write this i am sitting behind both of them and neither has the power positon to see what i am doing on my computer. i am not sandwiched between them. And I am now the one who is behind mr NY accent not facing his back but sort of facing that way. he is now in my sights indirectly anyway. and as time passes even though i am not looking at him or focusing on him in any way he is markedly more and more uncomfortable with this.
Him being a TOTAL idiot like alot of these people who are very misguided concerning what gang stalking is about in reality he is probably enjoying it.
I could be totally mistaken..he could have been talking about something else alltogether..but the place i am staying there has been so much perp activity here over the years and i am talking very overt. it also seems like people who jsut know about this situation come here and exploit that.
First of all degradation and all that has gone along with this torture is NOT a way to make someone faster or smarter or any of the things that TIs become to survive. We also become over weight from extreme stress and cortisol, our cardiovascular health suffers and stress destroys the mind as well as sensitivities to artistic talent.
Secondly the only acceptable degradation is under your own Will.
There is a difference between kinky sex practices with your partner who you trust and a nationwide mob of strangers.
This is the kind of person who is truly a threat to a TIs health and well being.
They may very well be one of those horrid new wave satanists (I just looked at him he has that annoying trendy black nail polish on) and also many young people in on this dont realize the damage that is done to someone like me who is older and not young and strong.
He wishes he was a genuine sick f*ck but he is just a trendy idiot in a country gone completely insane.
In the end this is about victim witness intimidatoin, getting away with human experimentation, power tripping, male insecurity, and money money $$.
dont let anyone ever tell you or make you believe any different.
I dont care if you become superman in the process of being targeted, its never worth what your body goes through with stress.
I dont know why these people are always so misguided and I dont care.
They really dont seem to know anything about programming or de programming by force, behavior modification or any of what goes on to ensure that people deprogramming dont recover memories especially through hypnosis.
If you are a survivor of mc as in programming and you know this for sure, just recall that that is the core of what this is about and dont let ANYONE ANYWHERE at ANYTIME convince you any different. Even if they work on you for years and years dont let them change the way you think becuz what you KNOW about yourself is the truth..what they are doing is trying to validate the abuse you have gone through.
They are either power tripping or they are the most naive stupid gullible useful idiots on the planet.
once again we have the use of sex to make me change my mind about how valid what was done to me is....
The minute he left the room I felt better. That pull on me was gone. That constant whining demand by his presence that I pay attention to him or give in to his vibes. I was scowling the whole time he was here. The stress was incredible...THAT is how a women senses an abuser. Often they have an almost irrisistable sexual pull. Do NOT fall for this. If your older it will be easier. However if you were younger it would be easier to fight this as when you get older you get weaker in some ways. Your not a young girl anymore who can ignore these kinds of men.
You have to understand that alot of what is happening is a concerted effort to ensure that older women do not become too powerful. They know who is going to grow in thier 30s into a powerful strong female human.
Marsboy who does alot of good work on his YouTube channel in one of his vids called Tin Foil hat in part 2 he says in his estimation your average TI is a woman of high intelligence with a history of whistleblowing or acivism who is now in her mid 30s to 40s.
I believe this is important. From what I have been through I know this is true and the system comes after you at a very specific time in your adult female life to stifle your growth and especially shut you down or control you/keep you down sexually. As we get older I dont feel we 'peak' sexually. This is a male perspective and I am tired of hearing it told to me like I dont know my own body by now. I peaked sexually like every other human in my 20s when I was young, healthy and at my strongest energy wise and endurance wise. Lets not make old age out to be something its not. We all notice the differences in bed when we age and there are just things we cant do anymore or do easily.
But as a woman passes into her mid 30s especially childless and she gets used to the idea she will remain childless and this passes, there is an empowerment and I dont think its something our mothers tell us about and I dont think its something society wants us to even know about....and THAT doesnt surprise me.
Maybe its only certain women I dont know...but its the quality of power sexually. There comes a time when the estrogen wanes and there is just enough testosterone there..I cant explain it. YOu become some sort of psychic powerhouse. It may be that we become sexually charged due to finally being IN CHARGE of our own minds and emotions.
A woman who is now emotionally focused and in control but still young. I was never allowed to see that all the way through. The system just came after me and destroyed me and its just such a waste.
I believe that this is truly what these campaigns are about. My mother is also 'aggressive' like me and I believe she is targeted just as hard becuz of it. My aunt is more like my grandmother...she is compliant, sees denial as a useful tool of survival and plays the dumb female role knowingly to play diplomatically in this world to get what she wants or needs. She said it directly once...that she loved the dumb female role. This is fine in our 20s and I suppose its fine for her, but my mother and I are like her father and there is a heavy energy there that seems to be very feared by society.
And I mean heavy in feel not 'heavy' as in 60s slang.
It does not surprise me that alot of what goes on seems to be controlling me or suppressing me sexually. Constant attempts from handlers is common and its always encouraged that I remain a child like female or have to act goofy or harmless or girly to get what i need. Always play non threatening.
Really its utterly disgusting and a waste of creative energies.
This is not the first time I have heard about a campaign against women in thier 40s. I just always thought it was to lower the population due to women that age becoming sexually obsolete or unattractive..I never thought it was becuz they were coming of age a being to be feared as in growing in power.
But if I put everything together that is what it seems.
What is most bizarre is attempts at controlling us by younger men. This I really dont understand at all. And younger men do much damage this way. At this age you become more sensitive to male energies...you cant just ignore boys and men anymore like they dont exist. Its very cruel and to know they do it on purpose. And really I can see younger people thinking nothing of trashing someone they feel is an older woman as to them its something of lesser value or something to be trashed.
The fact that they have no idea that they are breaking human rights and destroying someone by doing so is ridiculous.
Also I have heard many times the references to me being physically strong and also this has been related to me really being referred to as a beast of burden. That I can take it I am strong. This is all typical of the white attitude towards the strong and sturdy body of slaves. Its the way whites looked at black slaves and its the way that whites still feel about blacks much of the time.
Black women are depended on to be everones mammie at one time or another in this society. I dont know what black women feel about this but I have seen some of them outright reject the yolk and throw it off and good for them if that is how they feel.
Note that the primitive in a female has to be subjegated into slavery.
Younger men especially white males have been the number one source for harassment in my case, that and older men not being the most numerous but the most nasty about it.
Its as if they believe deep down that older women are supposed to behave like their mothers and if htey do not they will be made to.
This explains alot of sexism in the gang stalking campaigns towards women espeically older ones they really seem to gas light and try to drive crazy.
That is why I feel that if I can never get my life back or my health will never improve that telling my story and putting some realistic theories out there will perhaps solve the mystery of why this is happening especially to women.
There is an element of the story that you may not want to believe but its sad but true.
There are people in this world that have great healing power or psychic power or other abilities and they are a threat to the order of things. And it does seem that htere is a covert system that systematicaly destroys such people.