A comment left by one of my readers:
" Jake sounds like a joke to me. His d--- probably wasn't all that big. It's all a matter of perception, really. If you're really digging someone, the human mind tends to over-exaggerate certain things. Like the two parallel lines, exactly the same size, but somehow one looks bigger than the other.
The truth is, very few men have the "ideal" penis, save for a couple fortunate "gifted" ones, like John Holmes. Now THAT was a big penis. Jake? Hahaha, yeah right. If his c--k were that huge, then why did he sell you out? The men with the truly big d--ks are the ones resisting the system."
(and to answer the question why did i put the 'adult content' screen up there)
Well, yes when you are messing with road groupies and old bleach blonde strippers with an open relationship and and then when a difficult situation comes around you need to draw attention to your girlfriends activities to minimize attention to your drug dealing and kinky bedroom antics then yes, you are a joke..except to the people who used you and the crowd that helped you and revere you for what you did.If you have been 'the fat kid' all your life and someone loves you for you its often confusing. Your a musician and your in your mother's attic 'apartment' on the phone with people telling you "I cant help you band right now" and cancelling tours due to disinterest or personal issues, and someone gives you an offer you cant refuse which would not only get you out of trouble for dealing or at least lessen the consequences but ALSO will get you the success you have been looking for for years its hard to resist.
Its good that he finally cleaned up after being busted, but that did not have to include playing f*ckin games with ME. He could have and should have just walked away. He knew what he was doing during the 4 years we were together and I am the one who kept trying to get out as I knew I was going through something and I did not want to affect him. Why did he not just let it go? He knew he was going out with someone slightly eccentric and he knew my life had been traumatizing--he knew enough to understand that.
Who knows if he wasnt playing games the whole time.
I dont think hes a joke I think he was one of the most valuable chess pieces on the board as I trusted him and was very vulnerable to him. I only recently could start hating him..
Scott always made fun of me when I was with him for having someone before him that was big. I have seen regular guy types laugh at me cuz they know who I am from whatever level of the gang stalking and do things like make a gesture mimicking pulling something over your head..its one of the most offensive and rude parts of this campaign. If women have babies dont they go back to being 'healthy' and 'in shape' again?
So I am in a relationship with this guy and he did have abusive habits sometimes, we enjoy each others company and our sex life. I tell him repeatedly over time that he needs to let me alone as I am going through something. He always does something to get me to return.
When the shit comes down I have to be vilified, he acts like he doesnt want to see me when he starts to go to meetings and then leads me along and breaks up with me over a phone telling me has been monogamous with someone for a while now..i wont forget it-he had to brag that they got together only AFTER they had blood work done. Arent you perfect.
After all this I have to be responsible for everything in our relationship-even the size of his body parts I guess.
He only learned new ways to get around the system instead of getting honest with himself. He memorized the NA text like tabs to a song or lyrics then would recite them...but you could tell he didnt have a true understanding of it at all. He needed to make it appear for some reason that he had more recovery time or knowledge of NA than I did. It was an interesting possible gang stalking tactic as this wud invalidate my former life and experience in NA years before I met him.
He may be a joke to other people but to me he was a person. An important person and this was deadly as the system used that to destroy me. And any guy who has issues with women is going to latch onto him as their hero. They dont want to know the whole story. Only thier selfish motives are important.The USA is spoiled rotten so I wouldnt doubt that a female TI like me is like a luxury item served up to sexists nowadays as anything they do gets them a sexual harassment charge..in a society too strict or playing favorites youll get cold wars (hate without being overt) and people seek ways out of being regulated...like taboos such as gang stalking.
Oh the song is for him and all his crew. The last I saw of him in photos he doesnt even look human anymore -he looks like a greasy, sleazy industry scumbag. His eyes have changed, there is no spirit there anymore. Its like the Celt has been wiped right out of him...yeah I guess Hollywood IS the right place for him now. He has these beatty eyes now.
One day everyone who was used in this game will understand that even if the system seems to paying you off its robbing you of your primitive energies and spiritedness. You are now effectively handled. Its sad that both of us look like shells of our former selves. But he got such a good deal out of it all that he probably would never even want to think about his old life...it would be interesting to see where he would be today had we never met.