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Please be advised that this written work of mine is only THEORY. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no belief in anything posted here because if I did I would have had legal action taken by now-until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.

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Friday, December 18, 2009

lets hope its just me that is sick and not carbon monoxide

ok remain logical.

i feel a bit better. severe headache, nausea, dry throat mouth dizzy...i looked it up and i sure hope i just caught something today becuz that is all the symnptoms for carbon monoxide. especially the sinuses..owch.. it was terrible. but i also have some chills...lets hope its just me. i am not sleeping in my ride becuz it doesn seem like when i am in there i feel worse. its something coming out of the air vents. I will be effected first becuz I am made more sensitive to chemicals or whatever becz of that stupid mold exposure. if someone sprays hairspray just near me i feel like i am being gassed. i wasnt like that before that moldy apartment.

i sure hope its not anything dangerous i dont want my host driver to become ill. k

as i sit here now i feel better.
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it seems it was something temporary but the cause is still unknown

1 comment:

Back Up Against The Wall said...

Rachel,

You need something beautiful in your life. I pray it happens to you, and I pray it happens to me as well. Your targeting is hard to deal with, and it is really showing lately.

This thing that happens to us builds in frustration, anger, anxiety, and just about any bad feeling or emotion one can experience. I have felt all of these things myself, and I claim to be a Christian.

It is hard to deal with wanting to be like the example that Jesus made for us while also dealing with the outrage of what is being done to us.

One BIG thing that keeps me going is knowing that someday Jesus will return, and He will settle all accounts. He knows the suffering we go through.

If I didn't have my faith, I doubt that I myself would have been able to deal with this for as long as I have. Having a problem that people are unable to believe exists only compounds the negativity that we go through. I just keep praying throughout my day.

This is not to say that I am all grins and giggles and a great example for being what a Christian is supposed to be. I am not. I am human and very much subjected to the weaknesses common to humanity.

Nevertheless, I have my faith in Jesus. I too have seen too many examples of people who say they are Christians and then end up getting burned by them in one way or another.

I used to try to see too much of Jesus in my fellow Christians; however, I also recognize my own fallenness. As such, I fully realize that people will always fail me, even Christians. Jesus, however, has saved me, and despite the bad treatment I may receive from my fellow Christians, I do not look to them for my salvation.

I look straight to the heart of Jesus and the fact that he died for my sins. I may very well die as a result of whatever it is that gangstalking will eventually become, but I rest in knowing that Jesus has my soul, and he will never give it up.

Praying for you Rachel.