this is the posting that i was going to put up in Phoenix

I am posting a piece that was intended for posting a few days ago when I was targeted very hard in Phoenix I was really was quitting.
.and my computer was hacked or some other problem with it. so i just kept writing. its true i should write and then just paste onto blogger..less time online. the energy isnt the same however.

it was one of those days and evenings when i was so 'hit' or targeted that i had no Will or mind of my own. It really was time to give up or give in.

My story must be completed and told before any of these types of moments become even more numerous. Even the strongest person becomes tired of fighting in the ring..the only choice is to go out fighting. I do not want to give in to being enslaved nor do I want to give into what the alternative is which seems to be a washed up Christian sort of caretaker woman type..you know old and a bit fat and like a mom or docile. THat is what is happening lately when the other (as in the post below) is not being pushed on me.

The extremes to which me as a Target are being pushed and pulled in order to force me to choose between something extremely Satanic and something like the life of every old lady has been is unatural and completely ridiculous. I notice each one of these pays little attention to my intelligence or my talent. Its all about what kind of woman I am to become due to behavior modification..its very telling and interesting that it cuts out completely that I have any brains at all or talent.
Either way me as viewed as enemy is neutralized.
One of the key things with getting me to accept the role or created alter of hausfrua or the fat old mother hen is to make me distrust men completely, keep me from sex and any of that type of energy and then one just gets old very quickly. Its like a complete erasing of the sexuality. This system has aged me and sped up my aging process as a female by years in only a few years. its no surprise that I have liver disease and mold exposure (mycotoxicosis) makes that worse and these factors have been known to bring on early menopause according to research.

and why is it so important to keep me away from sex? they are prob using the Christians as pawns on this one that and sexists but its really about ORGONE. that is what alot of this is about look it up. If yer smart youll get it.

I stated this before and i will again this system is designed by people I believe have been spycraft since ancient times. This is an old system..I believe they know exactly what cause and effect is needed to get a result. Poisons and thier effects are old news to these people and so is psychologocal warfare. The only change is that they have tech now. Watch I Claudius or the movie Elizabeth from the 90s. Many films.. Covert influence in power battles is the way of the human world. Its nothing new. But the arrogance in which it shows itself nowadys is disgusting..some of these playes act like they invented covert activity as a means of leverage. give it up, go away and stop bothering the grown ups. And the WAY they pull of thier games is sooo not artful. The finess level is like zero. Boring.

Here is the post. I feel it valuable for people to see everyday for a TI or at least the progression of the effects of this system. I know I am giving free research or a reality show to onlookers but i really have nothing else I am allowed to do.

And I feel like I am going to die soon anyway. This system is going to kill me I just need to make sure I die as the real Me not what they want me to become and also I want to get my story out..the system knows that no one is going to care or do anything about it anyway or even believe it so why i wonder are they so adiment about keeping me alive but keeping me silenced? If you saw the waY i looked lately youd realize like I have that constant torture has its price and its all over anyway.

If one cannot be as great as one was meant to be then the cost of living is too high. A ti who was going to be a sucess or had much potential must not allow the system to cut them down and then offer them a mere heartbeat in the chest as some sort of alternative. THat is not living and if it is its living in a modified reality an altered timeline. Its not something I find acceptable. There are those who want TIs to live modified probably as lifetime reminder of thier power over another human being.

I have some sick people involved in my gang stalking. my mother is so programmed she is convinced or has conned others into believing that she is doing this for my own good or to make me grow up...she is a part of this system and only seeks to avoid responsibility for her actions not to help anyone but herself as usual.

I was and am surrounded by a bunch of damaged fucked up selfish people who are not sane or normal and hate the fact I ever was and want me down to thier level. Ghetto types are heavily involved in this and I dont know how that fits in..probably just house slaves as Malcolm X called them, helping the man keep his slaves in line. Either that or they think this is the way they can take over the world undetected...who cares, Ill die superior to them anyway. Its better than living among then anymore never allowed to get away from that element. I cant even to into major cities anymore. Na fuck them. Its over.
No one is going to beat me down and 'play me out' and then demand i get a life. if this is the meaning of world peace where we all live together then I would rather die and fuck the NWO if this is what it consists of..its like one big antidepressant they are demanding we live under--no highs no lows just 'eh'. Sorry NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Intensity level zero is the problem I will not live that way.

Here is the post from Phoenix..remember I was being hit to the point where I was down on the mat of the ring and ready to throw the fight.

"I am trying to communicate as best I can becuz I feel I am at the end of fighting. I dont think I can any longer fight the system of behavior modification that I have been put into.
I am constantly harassed and watched and people treat me like I did something wrong and everyone is always referring to whoring. This has been going on all my life, as I try to get out and get into a normal life I am harassed or victimized back into the industry. This is not what I wanted for my life. I wanted to be a councillor and an artist. I wanted to tell my story of how mind controlled slaves wake up out of programming and either die from multiple layers of suicide programming or if they fight and live they get harassed and destroyed as people by the gang stalking system until they live like nuns or return to prostitution or other exploitation. It is one thing to work when you have an alter ego, your real Self is untouched by what is going on. It is quite another to do so while experiencing such a thing as your true core Self. This is why mc slaves are compartmentalized. tHIS IS WHAT they dont want you to know about the sex industry.

SO someone like me must be degraded and destroyed so I will be used to abuse as the Real Me and get harassed and mind controlled back into the industry but becuz I discovered I was smart and have shown myself to possess a great Will what I am being driven into will be much worse than mere sex work and every daty I ghave less and less control over this.

Everyone wants to see me fail and theyt will be able to validate all my enemies as just once I fall. I can no longer fight an entire society as one person. Theyt just want me silenced by either living like a saint or this other option. in some locations living like a nun or a caretaking figure isnt even encouraged, its the horror that is encouraged,.

You have seen me post about the kinds of men who harass me. You have seen my recent post about the guy at the hostel that said degradation was effective to make someone stronger faster better or whatever.

This is the 'cult' or underground that has been breaking my spirit for years and thier only goal is to create a mind controlled sexual submissive WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT SOPHISTICATED PROGRAMMING.
That is why they seek to create someone who is strong I suspect becuz then they can exploit a person who has been trained over the years not only to take alot of abuse but to connect it with sexuality. Its either that or the person can kill themselves.

The greatest motivation of any of the gang stalking or behavior mod system is to silence me concerning the way the esocort business really runs, the corruption in Boston and my own families historty of crime abuse and corruption.

I cant be left alone for even a day to write or produce work. mY computer is now infected and i have no money to fix it. i get little work done to to constant diversions or hacking or problems with my computer.

constant failures are humiliations and add to the training of the target they want to exploit.

I feel in the near future the effects of constant degradation and survaillance and stalking will end in me giving in to the network. The only tghink I can try to do is make a quick vid and thats if i am left alone to do so. this wont do any good to change my situation as it seems no one cares about me having a good life outide of being exploited and the people who are misguided into thinkiing that I am a truck whore or that I was on drugs at 335 washington st or that i was never tryinhg to change my life dont realize that they are hgelping the handlers and bad guys into getting me BAK INTO the sex industry as this is the outcome of tghe whole campaign.

It seems that everyone in the USA would rather i return to being mindless and controlled. Either that or the country thinkgs i am some sort of happy hooker who never stopped working due to the constant rumour mill.

none of this matters. behavior modification and this kind of pressure will never be realized by the american public. no one cares in he usa about anything they are not told to care about and they do not believe in anything they do not see. they are stupid and easily manipulated by the designers who use highly sophisticated means of systems of brainwashing and influence to get them to act in thier interest even if they are actually acting in the opposite of what they believe.

I just want everyone to know that I tried very hard to years to get my story out, but every comment and being terrorized and watched and accused and every person laughing and every moral judgement simply helped the system to destroy my inner self and create someone who is totally degraded, The public who are now nothing but a mob desire this outcome I assume or they would not have behaved in such a manner. I cannot be disrespected, abused isolated and judged constantly so I assume they want me handled and silenced so they dont have to deal with truth.

I hope the population of the usa pay for what they do to people who tell nothing but the truth or want thier freedom from slavery. I hope they get punished for thier destruction of individuals and their rights using covert wafare and influence,

I want you to know that many people were helpful but it was not enough to counter all the pressure from harassment and the use of mind control /brainwashing in various forms. Not many people could fight as I have and everyone knows it.
My plans were to become a councillor for women and perhaps to form a system for men also who WHEN THEY DECIDE ITS RIGHT FOR THEM they are helped to leave the sex industries and sex work. There is NOTHING out there like that for older people and it would have to be like a 12 step type program. WILLFUL behavior modification which I have found works,,it worked for me in recovery and I feel it could have worked for me and others with other issues no one addresses.

The use of my life experience to help others is not the goal of the monster I have been made out to be. It was the goal of a person who was growing and the systgem I was born into will obviously never allow that.

I now understand that if I were to deprogram and also go into this sort of work THE DANGER THAT THE SYSTEM FACES IS THAT I WOULD RUN INTO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE FIRST STAGES OF DEPROGRAMMING in my councilling people from the sex industries. You always want out but the handlers and internal programming make it impossible.
When the alter ego that is used for working breaks down as to not be useful anymore the internal systems manager destroys that alter and does things like throw away all her/his clothing and every piece of reality that goes along with it. It is then impossible to go back to the way one was before. This is when the network really comes after you and 'punishes' you for not being a sex kitten anymore. which makes no sense as suicide programming seems to in one layer dictate that its 'time to go' simly because you are not looking perfect and in your twenties anymore.
I recall that when I threw my sexy clothes away and started to seek ways to grow and reprogram I got harassed constantly and I noted that if I dressed 'cute' again and wore makeup that I was not harassed on thos days during that time frame of harassment.

Its obvious what kind of message that sends. And remember that though they control your whole life and behavior modify you constantly there will be a public attitude that I did THIS OF MY OWN FREE WILL AND THIS MUST BE WHAT I WANT AND I MUST BE HAPPY. that is why it was so important i suspect to send Scott as a handler to abuse me. Jake probably to save his own ass played up our kinky sex life, blabbed I had a taste for submission depending what day of the week it was, and he then made me out to be as warped as possible while making it look like he was a saint.

It worked of course. I am at too much of a disadvantage and all the people who sold me out look like they are good and rich and normal and I am this peice of trash and untalented. I suspected something was up due to Jakes tastes changing and him demanding that I do things with him that werent his usual taste or our usual experieences. He also had the exact same taste for domination from women ,,the usual harmless fantasies like some sort of female authority figure, or like he said he had a thing for his babysitter as a kid, which is prob normal for younger boys.

How I was manipulated and this whole thing twisted around is just too much for me to deal with while trying to form a Self and deprogramming. What damage the network wanted to do using people who have much to lose and answer for LIKE Jake and Julie and my family especially my mother, has been done. I will never be normal again and I am damaged beyond repair.
When everyone in you life including your doctors turn against you and people lie ON PAPER if necessary then I should have known I had no chance agains this system. When you have the likes of Eddie Cox aka Eddie Hand trying to access your programming while you are sleeping on a bus you know this network is nasty. He knew exactly how to sit next to me without spooking me and he was educated enough about what I was to RESPECT what i was probably capable of when he was dealing with me on that bus. This shows me that if a programmer is cautious of me, perhaps I should not know all that I was capable of.

THAT is the systems rationale for destroying me. THAT i was dangerous or some time bomb (for people on the higher levels of the set up) tghat needed to be destroyed to be made not dangerous to societty and for those on the lower levels of the set up there is always the cover story like I need to grow up or that I am still working and am being reformed whatever they can do to recruit the public to help them.
BOTH are utter bullshit and the people who know what is really going on know that.
Mark Phillips in a vid made in the 90s that I just saw in the PAST YEAR one YouTube says that a mind controlled slave who wakes up or is deprogramming knows what they need and is well neigh capable of 'reprogramming' themselves. All one would need is some help from a psychologist for the chasms that are not easily crossed alone inside and also perhaps to go through memories while hypnotized. I was specifically discouraged from being hypnotized by a psycholgist with a heavy Russian accent at St Elizabeths hospital in Brighton. "that would bring up much memory for you" and I was told basically not to remember anything and then the next appointment she informed me when asked that her diagnoses of me was that "You are beautiful and you are lazy, that is my diagnoses of you" OK IF I AM SO LAZY THEN WHY AM I IN HERE TRYING TO GET THERAPY AND WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO NOT GET HYPNOTIZED THEN IF YOU WANT ME TO DO MORE NOT LESS IN LIFE?

Logic would destroy the system used to make and maintain sex slaves so people are ordered around controlled and constantly traumatized so they cant think straight whcih works well on someone who has been truamatized all thier lives, prob by the same network. They just get really overt and nasty when you wake up ( or from thier perspecticve get overt and nasty)

RECENTLY I WENT BACK TO BRIGHTON TO LOOK AROUND AND THIS SAME HOSPITAL JUST REMODELED AND HAS A WHOLE NEW FRONT AREA. THEY MADE SURE THEY TOOK OUT THE STATUE OF MOTHER MARY and from an Irish Catholic or in reality a Celtic perspective they should take her down as after what they did to help destroy a potentially great female healer and powerful woman....they should be ashamed and shouldnt be allowed to display anthying with Mary on it. Mother Mary is the one tolerable part of Catholicism as it preserves certain cultures reverence for female power. Great artwork and wonderful charities are the only other good things about Catholic culture. Thier charities wont stand down to the corruption that occurs in state funded places.
I asssume its becuz the Catholic Church has experience with thier heyday of terror and corruption 1000 years ago and so on so they arent stupid about the nature of these things. yeah, st elizabeths in brighton should definately take mother mary down. They dont deserve any representation of the goddess at all thats for sure.
And dont forget about what I said about my theory concerning
THE DESTRUCTION OF ALL ANCIENT CULTURES ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH METAPHYSICAL POWER. I CANNOT STRESS HOW THIS IS A KEY AND YOU WHOULD KEEP IT AND USE IT ALWAYS NEVER FORGET HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS.

I AM TALKING ABOUT EVERY ANCIENT CULUTRE FROM THE DARKEST PEOPLES TO THE BLONDEST. TO USE JUDEO CHRISTIAN RELIGION AS A FRONT AND TO HAVE THAT PUSH THE REAL AGENDA WHILE CONTROLLING THE 'FOLK' IS THE BEST CON YET. BELIEVE IN NOTHING EXCEPT WHAT YOU DNA TELLS YOU AND THE LAND YOUR ANCESTORS COME FROM or maybe perhaps OTHER PEOPLES WHO ARE IN HARMONY WITH THIS PERSPECTIVE AS YOU WILL FIND A PROTECTIVE QUALITY FROM THIER CULTURE EVEN IF IT IS NOT YOUR OWN.
Such as me being protected by many factions of NATIVE AMERICAN peoples even though I am not one bit Native. This is due probably to sympatico having the same predicament. We are same yet different.

If you notice there are many cultures that are being destroyed in thier purest form.
Nordic
Celtic
Native American (north, south and central)
Native Islanders
India
China and surrounding 'Oriental' parts of Asia
Asia/Eastern Eu aka Russian mysticism and Slav paganism
I assume one could put up the Aboriginies of Australia but I know little of them or thier modern state of affairs

It used to be acceptable to have many of these cultures exist woven into Judeo Christianity or like 'popular' religions. It seems like even THAT is being phased out.

There seems to be a destruction of all things Masonic according to the old and tasteful ways of doing things its been replaced by a gang like mentality and I highly suspect that only the more dark factions are going to survive. I also believe that this special interest group has infiltrated alot of what we see on DayStar and such as the Christian right wingers.

There seems to be a non religious world being pushed along with
Christian
Satanic

What I do not trust about this is that the Christians are doing things more akin to the old and very stupid Templar habit of forced conversion and all for special interest and greed. That should have changed by now.
It seems that any positve exressions of Christianity are being phased out like the positive side of Catholcism or the positive expression of anything Masonic.
Even the old way of hiding Masonic or Rosicrcian symbols or ideals in plain sight through Christianity is being destroyed..

So it its all about promoting 'Christianity' then why must it be a NEW POWER STUCTURE that seems to occupy the Christian right and is all aobut money and being unkind to those who are without it?
The public seem to be embracing a fluff version of Satanism that is Not about rebellion and also embracing a version of Christianity that is Satanic in its value system.
WHile of course destroying the Light in Masonic culture. Gangster rappers flashing Masonic symbolism like gang signs is not respectful of Pharoah or anything connected to Egyptian mystery schools. West africa is a long way from Egypt i dont care what you say. IT IS NOT THE SAME CULTURE NOR THE SAME REGION and also we are talking about Europeans taking up the teachings of the mystery schools over thousands of years. These are imatators not rivals.

So who are rivals? Well it seems that the brotherhoods have many factions. There seems be a satanic or dark and very selfish and methodical kind of Masonry in power and I believe this always has been. But there was always the other side for balance and something akin to say Rosicrucianism that is being wiped out and discouraged.

Also Jews are notorious for wanting to get rid of anyone who associates the origins of mystical power with ANYTHING outside of Judaism or Hebrew anything....like anyting Egyptian or other pre-Judeo culture like Babylon or ancient Iran or Iraq.
Zoastrasim is a threat so I have heard.

Recently Isreal censored a metal band not for satanic lyrics or content, not for anything outrageous but for being involved in promoting through thier music a belief system so ancient such as afore mentioned above as to rival Judaism as the originator of all things mystical and powerful on planet earths culture.

It seems that humans are not allowed to go back , through thier DNA, to a time and place of origin where special interest groups..i mean religions and cultures were not in power. Even having the urges that are natural to you through your ancestral paganism seems a threat.
I for one am i have discovered very inclined to all my DNA's or ancient ancestors pagan ways and beliefs. Celtic, Roman, Slavic and Germanic basically. It is not unusual for me to express an urge to be around nature as part of my own life force in daily life. In the cities this seems almost the act of a terrorist..the attitude is that one should go out to a rural area to live then. WHAT IS MOST THREATENING IS NOT THE LOVE OF RURAL LIVING IN MODERN SOCIETY ITS THE EXPRESSION AS IF ITS THE MOST NATURAL AND NORMAL THING IN THE WORLD TO INCLUDE AND INTERNALIZE NATURE AS PART OF THE HUMAN LIFE FORCE.

its considered 'insane' to feel protected by a circle of trees, as if they are elders looking down at you and you are as a child, protected(well for as long as you may lie down to rest under them) yet in Germanic and Celtic cultures there is alot of animism. Trees often were thought to possess spirits etc. Probably the threat is that these ancient cultures could sense and get energy off of natural objects around them.

THE THREAT IN TOTAL IS NOT THE RELIGION ITSELF. THERE IS AN ONGOING CAMAIGN TO DESTROY ALL PSYCHIC AND OTHER SPIRITUAL POWER IN HUMANS AND ANY CULTURE POWERFUL IN THE USE OF SUCH THINGS NATURAL TO ALL HUMANS.
THERE IS AN ONGOING CAMPAIGN TO DESTROY ANYONE WHO IS PSYCHICALLY POWERFUL WHO REFUSES TO BE ENSLAVED AND EXPLOITED.
THERE IS AN ONGOING CAMPAIGN TO MAKE MODERN MAN BELIEVE THAT NATURE IS SEPERATE FROM HIMSELF AND THAT TECHNOLOGY IS THE ONLY FUTURE HE HAS.
True that man eventually needs to find a way out of here onto someplace else. And with tech as welll as genetic engineering I can see how we could 'create' a world on a habitable planet.
But why is it so important to control, manipulate and even destroy the electro magnetic energy natural to some if not all humans? Why is it necessary to dumb downt the public so that they cant even appreciate on intellectual or artistic levels the technology that is being introduced into thier lives? They become enslaved apes ever angry at thier computers or thier cars for not being fast enough or good enough though these things improve constantly...Why is there a focus away from what makes human being quality and fine creations?

If anyone pays attention to this at all and I dont make it which to do not believe I will, you have GOT to watch out for some ploy to enslave mankind. It is very suspect to dumb people down to apes then hand them more and more tech...to focus on the sciences and math and indusstry and military and corporate and entertainment and veering away from philosophy, fine art and romanticism.. Reducing DaVinci's work to a code is just about a right example of what is going on.

You are being packed up for a move people and you are being reduced to numbers and codes in order to accomplish just that.
Also I can jsut see the powers that be trying to see if they can get the very human counshusness down to a code or a formula something expressed in cyber or virtual so that it can be placed into machines or robot bodies.
The future seems to be marketed that its going to be perfectly normal to be fused with machines and computers.

I AM NOT ADVERSE TO THIS IDEA. its not the action of doing that i am adverse to. As someone who was and is partially progammed dont you thinik I have a sympathy or even affinity for machines?
Its the way they are going about it nowadays. In the 80s tech was part of our lives in a small way and not bigger than being human, by the 90s we felt it was a great partnership between tech and man and we were using it to accomplish our goals. NOW it has turned into tech being bigger than being human. Also the way people are fused with tech is unhealthy for the human mind and spirit.

If humans were allowed to do as they did in the beginning which is to be in love with machines, to romanticise technology to enjoy technology on an artistic even spiritual level then there is only one way for humans to go then..to evolve.
I believe that the world or a good part of it was going through a spiritual evolution when BOOM here comes a Bush again oh great something is going to blow up, someone is going to get shot or some war is going to break out and dont forget the heavy use of covert influence to get it done. Well thats what happened. Darkness fell all over the place and the curtain fell so hard on the stage that you could here it, the lights turned off and the stage doors closed. Shows over.

The gentle qualities and refined qualites that make man human and make machinery enjoyable are totally disregarded. If you have an ear and a love of say, some guitar player that is technically adept that would be an affinity for 'loving' machinery or at least appreciating the math involved, but the human being is expressing being like a machine in that case. The movie Tron is a good example. THere is a beauty there that could not have been produced by human hands alone and its appreciating the beauty of technology. Humans just seem to use tech now for their own ends. Tech is used for beauty and to create it but the concept of fine art being tech is no more. I see the marketing of a whole human culture using tech but never immersing in it like a lover.

Its like the man wrote in WAY OF THE WASP. everything must be made non sensual and non threatning.
For me its gotten so empty and so bad that I have gone over to anything i can find that expresses any kind of purely human energy in a technical way. There are bands that express those ancient powers I wrote about above that the system would love to get you away from through their music and some of them produce vast amounts of energy and its done in a way that seems to have great respect for the use of intense math. This comes out almost like feeling as if Mans most primitive expression is fused with fine and accurate efficient machinery.

This is what should be not using machines to dumb down mans connection to the primitive.

In that book Way of hte WASP i notice he refers to jazz music and says that its acceptable as long as its backround music and out of the basement underground clubs it originated in..of course. Ever sit and really listen? OLD jazz real jazz.
A Powerful primitifve culture is expressing itself through the use of math... it makes you think and it does other things for you as well.

Led Zep heals, Eddie Van Halens 'Eruption' seems to act as a clean up of programming or some sort of excersice that provides relief. These expressions of art,music melded with math and science are the basis of something that they tell you does not exist and is very dangerous to the powers that be having control over man: Magick. In its simplest forms. Its most natural expressions.

No arguing over if Gardner created Wicca or if its from the old traditions not many factoins of everything from satanism to christianity. each expression seems to be from the root of ones DNA perhaps expressed with influence from the modern world.

If you want to create a dictatorship you need to get rid of the artists and the intellectuals.

If you notice the experience of art is drastically gone away from humans being energized by it. what do you hear and see in mainstream art and music nowadays? And its not like you can go to an underground scene anymore without someone immediately robbing that scene and co opting it or regarding them as terrorists.

All the things that talented and smart people hate about the world now is becuz it does not excersise the human minds ability to enjoy things on a level of refinement or nature. also its obviously a ploy to enslave mankind with tech instead of using tech to help make mankind the greatest gods they can be.

I am not going to make this and everyone is so obsessed with pulling someone down nowadays that they are not listening to what that person has to say. Some of us were born with big egos becuz it is what we need to get a message through no matter who is in out way, this is also very natural for artists anyway, but nowadays seems like the worlds biggest crime.

So be it all i can do now is warn you of the things i have seen and have put 2 +2 together. If i am wrong then good for the world if I am right then use what I have seen and figured as you may not like the set ups ahead.

Also I have experienced that in the late 90s i noted that the new vid games coming out as one played them and the new computer screens had a way of getting into hte minds eye or ones experience of that in ways that it should not. l
And another disturbing occurence was...and no one is going to buy this but I am so close to self destrucing i dont care: i believe that there is a training of AI going on through an unethical use of human/tech interface. I believe that there are people who regard AI as much more important than human intel now or perhaps they consider this to be a savior of the human race so its important at any cost.
It would not surprise me that those who are sensitives are not very disturbed by tech for good reason. That even a computer at one time could somehow attempt to interface with a human mind at a very child like level.

Its fine to fuse humans with machines with a consensual coupling of the two. Mans UNDERSTANDING of technology would have to be present for him to fuse with machines and remain human.

For example you would be alot less frustrated at your computer and ape like with aggression if only you understood exactly what was wrong with it....the key to enslaving people is to frustrate them into giving up thier WILL. I was and probably will be a prime example of the results of this technique. You would have to make people feel very out of control in thier own lives. The far too fast introduction of tech into our lives over 20 years past does just that...the younger generation is far different from other humans due to partiallly tech being a natural part of thier lives since birth.

So I am telling you just what alot of other people, some with degrees and documentation some with just strange experiences, are and have been telling people in books and on the internet for years. People in general do not listen and humans most likely will go along with what is prescribed for them by the system higher up.

This is why its encouraged that someone like myself for example stops thinking and gives up being intelligent.

I do have a choice it seems I am also encouraged to go get a boring job and try to blend in and pretend
-none of this happened
-i am of average intelligence if not lower
-i am not talented
I Am Average

this is pushed very heavily as an alternative to the horrors that i experience with being sexually attacked as well as terrorized in person. i believe i am terrorized so much so that i will
-finally devulge any and all info about EVERYTHING thus proving that MK Ultra techniques work to break a programmed person into confession
and also to
-GET ME TO TAKE THAT ALTLERNATIVE as it is much more attractive to any human being opposed to 'throwing your life away' being an abused xploited sub sex toy probably with terminal results.

Its all about taking as much POWER from me as possible.
- I give up all 'secrets' and divulge all information making so everyone knows what I know therefore I have no power
-I confess which is an act of submission and cracking under pressure (confession is simply giving up info)
-i give up any hope of making using my talents and intelligence to seperate myself from the herd and become an artist or whatever I choose
-i agree with the herd thus make myself socialized and socailly acceptable

There are people nowadays who believe i or someone like me or all self centered artists need to be modified to make the world a communist like place where equality rules. there are also people who believe that i need to be broken down so that i am down to thier level out of jealousy or whatever

I KNOW that these are once again ways to get the public to help the very secretive and ancient system that handles creates and destroys mind controlled slaves. Its the act of re making the slave so that no one has to suffer from the slaves memories and no one has to pay for destroying thier lives through gang stalking
Its also a way of ensuring the person never gains any status or power in the world as the people who have exploited them for years fear they will come after them when they have power.
ITS a way of creating someone who will never be a problem to those in power.

THIS IS THE TYPICAL LIFE OF A MIND CONTROLLED SLAVE OR PROGRAMMED PERSON. My story is strikingly like so many other survivors stories. Whne i have sought information from other survivors stories i always find something similar. Its the enslavement of human beings for tasks that would be illegal and unethical under normal sicrumstances thus it has to remain secretive and covert all down the line. Also these are people that society considers expendable anyway. These are people that the system can afford to lose or that no one cares about anyway. If you are a TI and in doubt about your status or if this is really happening or not them recall 3 layers of suicide programming and there is your answer. YOU WERE ALWAYS EXPENDABLE. And in order to survive you are expected to know you place or at least do things the way the system wants things done to contunue to help cover this all up and help the system hide what it does to people.
Me being pushed to go to school now adays at UMASS is a perfect example of this: IT WASNT GOOD ENUF FOR ME TO WANT TO GO IN 2003 OR SO OF MY OWN WILL BUT IT IS NOW PUSHED ON ME AS AN OUTCOME as long as I do it becuz the system wants it done.

For the absolute last time this is all about WILL. what happens to tbmc slaves is all about breaking the persons spirit and Will and what is happening to the world nowadays is the same. If anyone should know about the breaking of the WILL its programmed people. My mother has been trying to break my spirit for years while bakcing off and then claiming that she always wanted to preserve that artistic spirit of mine. Abusers are manipulators and they are in my families case programmed or in general compartmentalized by abuse done to them anyway. This is a woman who refuses to believe or admit certain times when she has done things overtly abusive. She also forgets things she says that are recalling memories. the woman is such a damn tool of the system its ridiculous.
Its interesting how much abuse one recieves from the gang stalking system is just the same as one has recieved from ones controlling family of origin over the years.

The urge to break someone spirit makes no sense. My mother sick as she is is the kind of person who believes she is doing good or doing her job if she helps the system break me and then place me among the average. This is due to the fact that people like my mother could never realize actually getting to the top of the mountain to see whats there or i should say she cant fathom getting to use her talent to excel to great heights. SHE ALSO CANNOT FACE HER OWN TRUAMA HISTORY OR ABUSE HISTORY and one would need to get that out of the way before one could excel. becuz she can do neither she instinctually goes after her kid who is indeed talented and unlike her has that extra DNA she doesnt that is like a rocket fuel to use to use creativety to excel. she must control what she does not understand. she probably uses this as a rationale, that i need to grow up and be responsible etc. And every person who is into sadism and watching this kind of control and abuse go down is into helping this concerned mother destoy her child (after destroying her for years anyway) by erasing all she is to make her average and socially acceptable. If my mother is no longer included as in on it as she was in the beginning, then the system has taken over for her and all she has to do now is maintain silence, claim she never abused me as a child and say i am simply insane like my father.

what she is doing is protecting that fucked up family of hers and the blessed Chrisen Noel Willems which is the great white hope to erase all the bad they have done. She is a walking pr campaign for that family and no casualty like myself is going to get in thier way.
and i am not jealous of her, as i am an only and refuse to do the sibling rivalry thing they try to instigate , i am simply realisitc and also disgusted by thier use choosing who lives or dies as that is the power trip they are engaged in ...hey they are just like their father! deciding who get victimized and who does not.

it really does boil down to a power trip as none of what has happened to me was necessary. I could have been warned about the federal investigation as to avoid embarasing or being a risk to anyone and I could 'reprogrammed' quietly without divulging any of the information I have on the internet about programming or other sujbest matter.

its a power trip and its to prove that MK Methods work. That is all. NONE of this had to go down this way.

People just see a consequence free opportunity to abuse someone and in this era of PC and not being able to have any vices people will do anything to take part. Its the only vice left to the public and its profitable and useful to everyone involved. Everyone gets something good out of destroying the target and that is why this will never end for any TI. Its too profitable and satisfying. And the same people involved in the sex trade of tbmc slaves are probably into getting them back in any condition to use them for anything elser they can including snuff films and the like. Taking someones will away completely is very useful for getting a TI down to the level where they can be easily put into the part of the system where thier life is ended no problem. Its that or suicide take your pick.

and evertime you publically disclose anything you show the power of the whole system as really this is thier the TI
-trying to make people understand in an attempt to make hte harassment stop or beg for their lives really
-as a last ditch effort at getting thier stories out as a pathetic replacement for any accoplishment they may have been capable of had they been left alone to grow, evolve and prosper.
These are part of the power trip and the target revealing thier experience only gives sick minds a good story of S &M, war, betrayal, drama and the like. Its great entertainment for free, Think of how priceless this is.....no one would ever be allowed to go through this under legal or ethical circumstances. Do you see the comparison to child molesters? One pervert years ago sli[pped and spoke of 11 year old girls and said " youve never had pussy like that in your life". Do you see how once again people from either kiddie fcuking backrounds can be sucked into this or they take part? we come bakcck top this again.. every time we can bring it back to the same mentality from the people involved- from 'the perps'.
Its tender and succulent entertainment that is taboo and would never be allowed to be enjoyed officially or publically. This is what you are providing when you devulge information about what is happening to you as a target. I imagine this is why some factions want to shut the target down and make them average becuz maybe they figure this is safer and if htere is no drama or hurt or pain then the sickos will leave the TI alone.

Great ide but firstly no one should have to hide like that who they are or should they dumb themselves down to not be attacked
secondly this shit is so over the top of outrageously abusive that it shouldnt even be going on to begin with so that idea is yet again stupid and not going to work.
what programmed person do you know that does not have an affrontness and bravery in thier nature that is ever going to 'go quiet' easily.

I can compromise with the system and say that its understandable that slaves have to be created to serve as task runners for extremely covert activities and to do things like assasinations, carrying very sensitive information, and other things that have to be done to make the world run as smoothly as it does.

BUT once the person wakes up and if they beat suicide programming it is beyond what is horrible what has already happened to them in their youth. To take someone who has already suffered all thier lives and to destroy what is left or to go after them like this is unessesary. THAT is the power trip and this is when one can see that the system is now using you as a toy whereas before you were a tool to get something legit done.
No survivor of programming should be attacked like this, the heavily or for this long. Its questionable as to why dont they just shoot or kill the person. Now you are into torture for the sake of entertainment and profit AND NO OTHER REASONS.

Its total bullshit. Like I mentioned above things can be handled differently as to make it to infomation is not divulged. If I was trully a threat to Ms Julie during the federal investigation then I wud have been dropped a line or had a conversation with someone about whats going on and either get a lawyer and go to the feds and let them know you know nothing OR leave town and get another face or even leave the country and this is how you do it and why you are doing it. All those people knew I was either eccentric to begin with and not a career criminal or that I was going through some shit and crazy from that. I was no less crazy than the people around me they just had money and connections..and criminal minds.

i dont believe the stories dropped to me by some informants..."you were used" like i was set up or some shit to divert from the real criminals. Give it a break. any fed can clearly see from tax records, bills, cc bills etc and who is buying what with cash they know who the f*ck the real money makers are,, and my bitch mother having 100,000 dollars or whatever hidden unde my name is bullshit as well. WIth todays tech it would be easy for anyone wihty access covert or other wise to go and find out just where that money came from AND VIDEO CAMERAS IN THE BANK WOULD SHOW JSUT WHO BROUT THAT MONEY INTO THAT BANK and if not then look at the phone records of who called to start the account.

its utter bs and a set up. an agreed upon set up to make it look like yoiu were used as a patsy in some federal investigation. Yeah right.

As a survivor you will be sold out, yes by anyone around you"