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Please be advised that this written work of mine is only THEORY. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no belief in anything posted here because if I did I would have had legal action taken by now-until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.

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Saturday, December 19, 2009

What is my mothers part in this?/ Portrait of a programmed parent

I need to consider that my bio mom is not as dumb as she acts.
I was told by Rebbecca, that woman with all those cats in St Louis that "You come from a family of jealous women" as she was telling me that I was basically being framed up as schizophrenic or it was attempted.

On a Greyhound bus through TX this man and woman were perps and I was being messed with. The male started talking about murderers "..and some mother's kill their babies".
A informant told me "Your mother is sick" and "Your family's cruelty to you is infamous".

When I was a kid my mother visited with a man house sitting for someone wealthy with a big safe. This man claimed to be CIA. I recall the large safe becuz i thought it was fun to try to crack it like in the movies. She dated him for a while until upon having him checked out, was told he was special police not CIA. This is back in the 70's how could she have him checked out? She was on welfare and working at Kens pub in Allston MA as a bartender. Also if she is targeted it shows the kinds of jerks that come after women like us. Again the cops playing games with people they think are going to be easy.

When I was in my 20s some Colombians just left thier apartment in Allston, cleared out within hours. I crashed in the vacated apartment after they left. There were other Colombians out of the south end but I never went into thier building. Those were for my rich kid connections at the time not for me. My mother bragged that she knew I was getting drugs from or partying with Colombians. She claimed "I always knew where you were".
So she has exhibited stalker behavior for a long time. I assume she was talking about the young kids in Allston and this would most likely be the extent of her reach. I dont think she would have been privy to knowing about the big dealers my friends had. In fact she seemed to not know anything about my rich kid friends. Which aggravated her.

In the 70's she knew an EMT named Neil. She claimed Neil was also a sniper. She was impressed by this as she stated "He has the power to save lives but also has the power to take them away". (Gee, you think this is a woman who was terrorized by her father? In her world a man is GOD as well as being the great destroyer.)
She would often receive help from him of a covert nature. Who exactly was this person Neil and who did he work for? In fact having been targeted I know the involvement of ambulance personnel especially in the Boston area. No place around the US have I encountered such heavy involvement from this profession as in Boston. And why is this person a sniper? Isnt that unusual for a mere EMT? Unless he is working undercover for military or police. In what capacity was he a sniper and for what faction exactly? With the heavy involvement of ambulance drivers and thier partners in gang stalking this validates much of what TI's experience. That these people are indeed involved with other factions. Factions that use snipers to kill.

How does my uncle Tommy's mafia connections fit into this? Is that the 'syndicate' she referred to that day in the car when she boldly claimed "When I was dealing with the syndicate, I always took the harassment as 'know your place, bitch'". Does 'the syndicate' refer to Jewish organized crime? Ken's pub? When was she dealing with the syndicate? Why does she claim to have dealt with organized crime but also receives assistance from police as well as EMT's who are snipers and provide her with information?

A kid in ABQ, New Mexico made an offhand comment about my family having police connections. Was this mis- or disinformation? If this is true then the perps and gang stalking system are a separate entity from my mother's network of organized crime/law enforcement.

She also tells a story when she was very young the FBI came to her house due to black beauties(speed pills) she was selling being spiked with rat poison killing people. (The focus of this story was that Anna her mother served them tea and had them sitting at the kitchen table chatting not that people had died.) Did she turn rat at that time and this would explain her connections? And could this have been a perp set up to force her into thier system?

She had a boyfriend once, a drummer named Derek Blevins from a band called John Butcher Axis. I was very young, like under 6 I think. It was when I used to leave the foster home to visit with her. One day I could see as he approached me he looked completely scared and freaked out. He knelt down to talk to me and handed me a pair of drum sticks. It almost seemed like he was trying to prepare me for something in my future concerning my mother or he had discovered what a monster she was finally (like they all do but too late usually.My step father as well.Those big tits were a diversion i guess.) I will never forget the look on his face.
She of course took the sticks away from me and put them in a drawer as she always was a jealous b*tch with men. (Who can blame her? In her own life it was that way in her own home, its not easy when in an incestuous family the daughter is the other woman. It must cause bizarre group dynamics.)
She told me years later that she had alot to do with them not making it on the music scene and having all kinds of 'problems' and obstacles in thier way. What did he do just break up with her? That is how severe she is.

In Pine St some women were trying to tell me that lawyers connected to the federal investigation and Jake's drug case got together behind closed doors and plotted against me instead of negotiating. Remember Pine St has the highest incidence of cop presence and involvement. Most likely due to Paul Sullivan's brother having been a cop but perhaps its thier being around so long. They also work closely with working girls to ensure they have beds so its no surprise they have the highest amount of spies and rats, especially looking for a quicker way to get housing.Then again this place usually provided good leaks of information so who knows what the covert presence is there.

This could be why an Asian lesbian perp at Women's Lunch Place (staying at Woods Mullen) told me "You were used". When she slipped that out Carla this homeless drunk who used to be a teacher gave this hand motion and mouthed 'no' as to make her shut up about it.

If my mother was hiding money under my name where did that money come from? well, my first guess would be one of her questionable lawsuits pulled off by her and her lawyer who she describes as "creative".
It could be that she did get paid off from the class action lawsuit from the radiation experimentation maybe even with some money she got by making claims about me and she did not want to share so I have to be harassed, followed and 'go crazy'. These theories are based on her past behavior. This is not the first time she has shown that she would sell me out for a dime and her greed is frightening.

During the height of the harassment when I was living in Brighton she kept bragging about being issued a military credit card. She has leaned heavily on my grandmother and grandfather being in the Marines and gets as many benefits as she can out of pumping that connection for all its worth, financially and socially.

During the harassment she would say cryptic things like "I am very interested in the way your mind works" just out of nowhere. She used to act like she was in a position of control in what was happening to me like when I got aggravated with the old computer she kicked down, she said "Interesting, your frustrated by it". It was as if by analyzing me she was removed enough to have total control over me. Much of what she said sounded eerily like it was connected to the gang stalking and harassment I was receiving at that time.
Come to think of it, she asked me a question very much like what perps asked me later during harassment nationally. They have asked specifically on two separate occasions one in AZ (perp group on bus) and once in El Paso TX (single perp)
"What do you think of George Bush?". She asked me at this time "What do you think of the war (in Iraq)?" and this is not a woman who was ever into having any sort of intellectual conversation with me. My mother was purely a handler to me with perhaps an alter that was a mother which I saw alot less of than the handler.

If she has such a great lawyer then why did she not have some protection or advice for me during the harassment turning 24/7 in 2003? She claimed it was just feds "When they find out you dont know anything they will probably leave you alone." Soon after that she got me alone in her car and stated that story about harassment while dealing with the syndicate. She then turned around in the next sentence and asked me "Do you think you might have a mild case of what Danny has?" (My bio dad is allegedly schizophrenic, only after he went around blabbing about my mother and her family being involved in a secret CIA/military project, which of course is exactly what MK Ultra/ radiation experiments were. She is a documented survivor of the radiation experiments. They targeted him as far a I am concerned).

If my grandfather was right and mother was hiding up to $100,000 under my name, this may have put up a red flag to the feds doing the investigation of my circle of associates. She had to cover her ass and I suspect one of the things she'd try would be to appear she's protecting me when really she is covering her ass for hiding money under my name. I can hear her now claiming I dont understand which of course was true but only becuz she always kept me in the dark about things. It may be that she herself started the idea that I was autistic or had a disability intellectually to again put herself in a power position so that I was never subpoenaed. This was probably to cover for my eccentric behavior in general where, its just better for her to cover the whole thing as it would lead to the family looking like screw ups, which they are for me turning out the way I did and also if she is conscious of being a mind control handler on some level it would be her duty to cover for any involvement of myself, herself and the family. I recall as a little kid her driving me to psychiatrists offices and making me close my eyes so I couldnt see the route there or back home again. She definitely was up to something.
During this time of the federal investigation and harassment turning 24/7, I was also deprogramming. I started to
recall memories of childhood and ask questions. She must have known I was deprogramming or something was up. In the car driving she screamed at me "I WILL NOT BE CONDEMED BY YOU!!

The guy in El Paso TX who asked me the second time about George Bush belonged to a well to do Mexican family of Jewish decent that ran Dama La Mano homeless shelter. They let me stay there even though I was not pregnant. One day his mother explained my situation to someone in Spanish by saying basically that my mother was too restrictive which was the sole cause of all my behavior.
This indicates to me that the perps use her treatment of me to cover up for what is really going on. Much the same was as the other cover story used here mostly, that my ex Jake had me driven crazy.

My mother also had pedo scum hanging around who she probably could not say no to and again these were people involved in law enforcement who know damn well the psychological make up of women like her from families like hers. This Roxbury bailiff named Rudy who frequented her bar at night used to come over and give me undo attention. He wrote this stupid letter once about the gates to one's body, like the mouth gate etc and then ended with a message that pretty much sounded like 'dont become a whore'. (My mother was often in contact with men who seemed to want to control women in this way. Her gyn that did my unnecessarily severe surgery at 16 for endometriosis was also very controlling about my sexuality.As usual you can guess that I was not going to let men tell me what to do unlike her.)
This bailiff used to take me home to his place to babysit. I recall I was sick one night with a fever and all he could say was "You women are never satisfied" and he was serious. As if I was a grown adult, I was like 7. When he started to come over with gifts it creeped her out. One of my worst memories is him buying me a 14 k gold chain and her letting him drive me back to the foster home in Wayland. Its strange becuz she usually didnt like blacks the way my aunt surrounded herself with nothing but blacks. My mother was much more resistant to black culture. I suppose she fell for it as we can see she had a habit of trusting anyone associated with law enforcement which I think was the only reason she trusted him. Soon after she refused to let him see me as I think she got the clue as to what he was about. Disgusting really.

Can u imagine the life insurance policy she probably as on me? She once had this chilling conversation with me about a grave plot. As usual it was very controlling. This time it was about controlling my death. She claimed that she would not give up the grave plot and despite my last wishes to be cremated she would have me buried. She often talked about it as if it was going to happen someday soon. "Where would we go to visit you?" (if I did not have a grave plot). At least I am free of those morons in my family. She has since taken my grandmother hostage and who knows what she will do when she is gone.

The system beat her down until one day she turned to me and said "You just get tired of fighting". Ok so become an activist or suicide but dont leave yourself open to being manipulated into doing thier dirty work for them. When you get tired of fighting you must then have some safe haven to block thier entry or snuff it as the final show of resistance- and make sure you put blood on people's hands before you do.

The main thing that really creeps me out about her is her dedication to that family. When she said "Dont make waves" or "Dont go up against the family" she said it as if she would be willing to murder anyone that did. What is in her past, her programming perhaps that causes her such tight connection with her main perpetrators? There are some very sick and traumatic things they can do with RA that could cause a person to bond that tightly to a family of perps like that, so there is no reasoning with a person like that. She's not a reasonable person becuz those actions and urges are based in trauma, as in trauma based mind control.

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