Woke up and as usual its 3 am so being after midnight my mind is calm, my body centered and there is a return of the Will mental and otherwise.
Its been very bad lately during the hours of targeting from 6 am to 12 midnight. I made a video to upload but it just makes me look more nuts cuz I am very upset in it.
I woke up thinking about my ex associate Julia, that ungrateful spoiled rotten brat. I dont usually think of her as my situation fits the common one for deprogramming survivors of truama based mind control not something more connected to her- but I know that one of the reasons she is important is that she is the cover story, also like Mark Phillips said this connects to certain criminal enterprises whether they know it or not.
But I cant help recalling how JRB kept saying her father worked for the CIA, she also said that he worked for Hershey chocolate. But she tells everyone something different in order to hide the truth usually so who knows if its true. It would however explain alot about my situation.
I cant help but think how she could have easily warned me- so could Jake and my own mother if they so choosed. If they really wanted to do anything other than see me suicide or be committed or labeled then they could have warned me that there was a federal investigation going on.
I think Julia was the only one who tried, telling me to read that Newton newspaper artidfle in 2005 about Douglas Bannerman who was a friend of a friend I didnt know very well...just in passing. I was usually kept pretty dumb about what was going on anyway, and i wonder how many people around me knew I was programmed or just thought I was a victim of truama so therefore just numbed out and in denial most of the time. Most people in that business are in denial most of the time or no one could function.
The shock of all this has been too much over the years- JJulie I expected to turn on me as a business decision and Jake well, that became obvious but I think my own mother being in on it to the extent that she was is just too much.
I mean here is Julie telling me to read news articles and telling me that she no longer goes into the city and all these clues as to what was going on, even sayng that certain people involved were perfectly ready to take the fall for what they had done and that Douglas had done some "bad things". She was the only one who tried to warn me.
Like some small raft being thrown out when a ship is sinking- she was the only one. My own mother just sat there and played games with me.
I still see people sometimes look at me and sort of shake thier heads and I still wonder what they want from me. After all I have been through and knowing that I am not going to live through this- WHAT THE F*CK DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I think its a head game to make the Target feel bad and continue to drive them further to suicide. Either that or they think I should go writing confessionals for a bunch of feds who seemed to only enjoy the game being played with me and really to be on the side of the rich criminals with wealthy powerful men as connections. Why was a subpeona never issued?
Historically slaves had to be harassed and beaten to get testimony out of them as they would never testify against thier masters- I think this was ancient Rome I read about. I do not appreciat being treated the exact same way just becuz I am programmed and the sneaky assholes at the top secretly know this so I am being beaten down instead of treated like a human being and a citizen and served a fucking subeona.
What kind of game is this anyway...people who are perps keep telling me I have been discredited in reference to all this so why continue?
The people I left behind have forgotten about me and pretend I dont exist or they are just waiting for me to finally loose it or drop dead. I am being ignored so that the whole nation can side with those three assho;es trying to get rid of me for thier own reasons.
I now see that making sure I wasnt served or informed during the actual federal investigation GIVES THE SYSTEM THE OPPORTUNITY AND RATIONALE TO TEST MK ULTRA OR OTHER METHODS OF INTERRIGATION ON SOMEONE WHO IS PROGRAMMED.
I now believe this is the real reason that I was never told about what was going on.
THEYRE NOT TRYING TO KILL ME THE F*CKERS ARE CONTINUING HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION. They are testing out behavior modificston and moreso on someone who is programmed. They all fucking knew. They all knew.
And this is perfect becuz not only does it get rid of someone inconvenient for connected criminals it ensures that the human experimentation is covered by a good cover story- NO ONE BELIEVES IN THE PROGRAMMING OF HUMAN BEINGS SO THE ATTITUDE IS THAT THEY CAN BE EXPERIMENTED ON AND TORTURED AND NO ONE WILL KNOW OR CARE.
I have seen a similar case during the time I was being harassed- Mark Carr. Why DID he walk into a police station and confess to killing JohnBenet when he did not do so? He has also complained frequently of being harassed by cops. OK the guy is a little weird and his being a pedophile is in question but I would have to see proof that he was indeed got in trouble for messing with a student and therefore went off to Thailand to become a teacher. There were some threads on the internet where people speak of it being suspected he was programmed. I have seen him holding a giant doll and while this explains his obsession with little girls I just wonder if one of his alters isnt a little girl itself.
If this guy it programmed and he is now obsolete the system will then use any and all problems he has against him- perhaps his programming broke down or he started acting out too much and became too obvious.
Why do I even think to include him in my writing on this subject? Most people just thought of him as some crazy pedo who confessed for attention- however his claims of policemen harassing him constantly is telling.
I also am looking at this becuz at the exact same time he came out with his false confession I was also being harassed but not just that--I actually experienced being tortured into confessing to crimes I did not commit. There was something weird going on with terrorizing me constantly for a short period during all this with nightmares, visions and othe torture that I was somehow a child molester--but it was always visions of men doing things. One vision was particularly horrible, of a group of Japanese men sitting around on black leather couches with children. These are NOT normal daily musings for me and I would not be affected like this outside of my apartment in Brighton MA- you know the one, with those cell phone repeaters on the roof from Nextel.
Someone trying to help me through this actually gave me an entire bundle of pages containging info about those towers- the company, the layout on the roof, how the company had been helped get the towers on the roof by ONE OF THE LAWYERS IN NEWTON WHO WAS WORKING ON MY MOLD CASE ON BEHALF OF THE REALTY COMPANY.
There was a period of time right before Carr went in and confessed that I was being tortured and prompted to go into the Brighton police station and confess to acts of child molestation but upon investigation I would have had no story to tell- unless of course the bastards in Brighton were more than willing to lead me along or feed me a story. I fought as hard as I could becuz I knew I was innocent and thank whoever that my programming was still strong enough to resist this nonsense-when I saw that Mark Carr had made a false confession and then I did some research it just didnt work on me at all anymore. THIS IS WHY EXPOSURE IS SO IMPORTANT-IF YOU KNOW HOW ITS DONE YOU CAN NO LONGER BE FOOLED.
IMAGINE A SYSTEM OF COVERT WARFARE OR PSYCHOLOGTCAL WARFARE WHERE YOU COULD MAKE AN ENEMY BELIEVE THEY COMMITED A CRIME AND CONFESS TO IT. You could get rid of anyone you wanted- now wether that applies to mind controlled people only I dont know. I sounds like just a continuation of MK ULTRA which was to get agents to confess- if they KNOW and arent disclosing that most 'agents' are programmed, then experimenting on even thier own expendables would be a way to test the system out.
This is what expendable means. Just that. Expendable.
Lou Gheppetti said to me one day " you know expendable people are factored into businesses- kind of like a building site where they factor in how many workers are gong to die on the job" I got the clue real quick.
I have also heard something concerning being targeted because "so and so has alot of pedophilia in (his/her) family. This is a dead giveaway reference to expendables from pedophile families. I believe that the people who secretly support this system use this rationale to use , abuse and control expendable mind controlled slaves. They most likely convince themselves that somehow the later generatons have to pay for the sins of the forefathers. In terms of false morality and religious thought this makes sense..its also a great way to rationalize human rights violations for profit.
People believe they can treat a survivor however they please due to thier family of origins status- this is an excuse to get away with human slavery. So instead of helping with healig and encouraging survivors they use this as a rationale to further human experimentation.
I believe the authorities in the USA from what I have seen simply manage crime they do not solve it or cure the problem. They use abuse and help sell out and blackmail people who cant pay off the system and the people who can pay off the police and other authorities are left alone. The police love the image of the bumbling keystone cop. I believe they have much more power than people know and they serve thier own and others special interests on levels way beyond bribes and police brutality. They are smarter than people think, the are more criminal minded than you realize and I believe they go upon thier own authority way more than you would think.
They also often have connections to the military per prior service. Except the crimes of the military seem alot more transparent- as if they have more accountability. The cops queitly go about thier business being now worshipped and feared by society.
Who knows who is worse in all this. For all I know the factions are always fighting amongst each other. I know one thing- it was mentioned a few times to me in Boston that "sometimes the cops take it upon themselves to do things (and overstep thier authority)" and "it never should have happened in the first place" referring to my harassemnt and the gang stalking.
I believe most police and in denial about thier own system to survive or they are brainwashed to see only their cult as legitamate with a right to exist. They are obsessive by nature and most have stalker qualities to begin with. They will not stop until they get THIER f*ckin way even if its a gross abuse of power or outright wrong.
They must defend thier system with wrongdoing and they obviously think most civilains are stupid compared to them. They cant stand me almost immediately due to the fact taht I am programmed and when they are 'scanned' by looking in thier eyes I can tell what they are all about- also from dealing with thier behavior for so long and hearing stories from Kens pub in Allston from the 70s about how corrupt they are. I can see how they look at someone they think is just a civilian- like most people are stupid and many of them have this friendly policemen front alter...
GEE I CAN RELATE. Programmed people always send representatives of themselves, while the internal system fixes upon really checking you out.
I wonder if policemen are programmed. I know is Boston it was popular in the old days to only allow sons of cops to become cops. Good DNA for the job or just at home training so they know how to keep the code up?
I never had a problem with the cops's right to exist before they got out of hand during Bush..but then again I dont recall anyone coming after me like this before Bush and 911. I always recieved low level harassment most likely to keep me in line and controlled but it was from all differnt sources and seemed more random.
Perhaps the police and other authorities are kept away frm the survivor until its time to really lay into them and get them to go crazy, suicide or whatever else the system has planned.
It would not suprise me that coming from a 'bad family' is the rationale for alot of people in on this. Its the only way they can get around human slavery and torture as a human rights violation.
When I first read about survivors of programming the circumstances were so similar and it filled in alot of the blanks of the how and why...but I still could not believe that pedophile families sold out family members due to black mail. It all seemed so outlandish to me, that such a thing could not be real. But its obvious that its the only rationale this Judeo-Christian false morality society would have for acting like the greedy selfish animals they really are.