Went to this truck stop thats in LA rumor has it its regulated by the Hells Angels.
All I know is that for some reason for me it was depressing. I felt very subdued. The black female security guard made sure she was in my face with my host while he was getting something out of a machine and had to make sure she said HI to us. Whatsa matta am I not on the approved list of the Angels for whoring? Its not that really its more harassment connected to gang stalking. Of course there are two blacks talking in the hallway on the way in and its one on each side so you get stared at as thier heads follow you left to right as they seem as gatekeepers to the hallway. This is when rolling your eyes has great value...it always works when people insist on using staring as intimidation..good let them see what you think of them. JOKE is what i think..are they hells angels also? Hmph whatever. I think not.
the good thing is that they say they have cleaned up the trcuk stop. but i felt so awful there. its no doubt taht sexist f*cks like that would love to see me f*cked over and subjegated. all criminals now have access most likely to or are connected to the tech that makes this possible. Is that why I had such a hard time at Rainbow with A camp? and they all played this little game with me? If i ever get the chance Budda is dead, F*k rainbow and f*k 'A' camp. Self righteous hippi trash probalby all from rich families. You think your better than me? I have great fantasies about geting a team of snipers up to Shawnee on any given year in future and just taking out the lot of those agro drunks. You wanna beat me up look like your gloating over it (Ifuk your wives by the way. i could have defended myself againt your fat hippi bums if its wasnt a mob againt me..I am taking you with me to my grave anything I can do to get revenge. You helped that cunt from Colorado and you messed with me. Budda needs a car accident big time. Oh and that little game that was played with me by hippie bitches at rainbow..fuk all you fat sloppy cunts. You all come from rich families anywayt and your POSERS. YOU ARE THE MOST UN 'HIP' PEOPLE I EVER MET. Try being poor for real you assholes. And a camp wants to sit there and blame me for that fight? another group of people who took advantage of my vulnerablity. more worms to take to my grave with me if I possibly can ibn any way possible, stand in line wiht jake julie and my mother. Everyone hates me anyway and you were mean to me beyond what was necessary. I wish I could get a job with the feds so I could bust the shit out of you sleazy posers or rob you and give the money to real street people. I wont ever go to Rainbow again becuz if i do you can expect a fukin war where i use any money and power i have to get rid of just the few idiots who fuked with me. you better be praying i suicide (which i will) in a few years. Cuz if ever i get anywhere subsstantial you have made an enemy for life and progarmmed people never forget faces. I will never forget you faces i will never forget how you added to a bad situation.
gee god help me if that kind of group like the Angels is actually helping me...fuk this whole thing, fuk all these people. Fuk my friends my enemies as well. Flush em all donw the john just as many as i can before i go. lifes worth nothing and so are they all.
I was told these groups have people on the police force and they threaten judges..who cares? fuk em all. the cowards and the oppressors. go to hell.
If I am going to suicide I am going to tell as many people as possible the truth about the way this country really is and exactly what i think of them. Ill be dead within a few years any way so who cares what I say and do? Nothing matters anymore. I'll get as many jabs in as possible on the way out. Make as many people pay as possible for ruining my future in favor of others who dont deserve what they now have, at my expense of course.
At this truck stop all I could think about was the damage that has been dont via torture. How I am basically all played out as it was said in that shelter and how overweight I am getting (to most people it just looks a bit chunky but its unhealhty and with the stress from all this as well as what is prob cortisol I will never be able to be left alone long enough to get in shape again.Forget it) my looks being gone and how I can never be the person I was supposed to be.
It was hard to be just miles from Jake and thinking how good his life must be and how its at my expense he has what he does in part. As Fico said to me "lets just say I think you were given a raw deal". Yeah but Steve never told me exactly what that means. Everyone knows and nobody will tgell me what was going on. I am an acceptable loss to most people who have moved on with thier lives.
What I will never understand is that if I went through suicide programming anyway and am obviously an expendable why not just let me go that way? why was it necessary to keep me alive and torture me? I dont understand. Well Johnny Horner one of Julies drivers once said that people do these things just "out of meaness and cruelty"..as if it was totally acceptable to him that people are destroyed for no reason at all. HE worships that bitch anyway as most sick fuks think its cool that she goes throgh human beings like tissues anyway. its not juust her or Jake or my mother its people one never sees higher up that pull this off. That demand that corruption like this go on. Corrupt cops and other levels of law enforcement are worshipped for how sick they are and how much power they abuse and get away with it or they are feared for how deadly they are.
In total any info that I reveal is simply proof that MK Ultra works to get confession out of programmed people. That is what this whole thing is about in case no one knows that and your gullible enough to believe cover stories. With my mother being a documented survivor of the radiation experiments at Bethesda Maryland at the Naval Hospital its just logical. Have you ever watched the videos on Youtube of the Presidents Advisory Commitee on Hunman Radiation experiments? There are people testifying to being harassed and followed and kept an eye on for life as well as its connected to programming. I cannot believe that no one knows about this that its kept so hush hush. Even with all the survivors trying to get thier stories out its still recieved as 'conspircy theory'. Bullshit.
I was thinking how nice its going to be to finally be gone. To take my own life and be done with your world. Then everyone who doesnt want me around can finally have what they want. But I want everyone to know who is behind my murder and how it works to get someone so terrorized that the damage is so permanent as to cause suicide. It wont change anything. This system will always be in use to get rid of people who are obsolete or no longer of use and the public being cowards who dont deserve to live will do whatever they have to to live. Which is to turn thier backs on you. an agree with the oppressor.
Fuck this whole world of cowards and fuck being harassed for life. Fuck everyone using me to get ahead and leaving me in ruins. If the world thinks I will stay alive just to remind the power structure that did this how powerful they are you and they are mistaken. I will not live in a world that will not allow me to exist. If this is the way they want it, and its pretty clear they want it to happen then Ill leave.
I am not going to get all out of shape like my mother or subservient and play dumb like my aunt. Fuk my family they never had the balls or the brains to fight this system or thier own controlling family. And Tommy and Patty can go straight to hell thinking no one sees how they want thier little family to shine above everyone elses with thier blessed little Christen. My uncle also shows signs of being like his father and that has always been in thinking he is not only smarter than the women in that family but in controlling what goes on in that stupid family. FUCK THAT FAMILY. They were never nice to me they never encouraged me and always treated me like an outsider. They were always pissed becuz I saw thiier BS and simply removed myself from the situation to aviod being controlled. I am going to rip them apart as best I can and leave nothing before I burn in that pyre.
Fuk julie and her whole family fuk jake and his mother (who he was always taking his bullshit from her out on me) and his whole dysfunctional family that needs so badly to look like it was all due to me and not them having a fucked up kid. Fuk my stupid family and thier precious Christen who they want to represent whaqt that famikly is about..its called cover your ass so know one sees the kid you fuked up. You are liars and you tried to destroy me instead of help me when the system came after me. I will never forgive you and you can take that Christian cunt Christren Noel and I hope her car blows up again except she doenst get out this time. For those of you who have brains recall that Bergman movie from Sweden where the black haired girl is treated like shit so the family can favor the good little blonde girl, and the brunette wants to go back to the days and ways of Odin (due to her seeing how mean they are to her and full of shit) that has been how my family has treated me for years. It would be quite nice if like in the movie she fell off her horse or something similar. They deserve it for betraying me.
And I will not live a life being harassed and mocked and laughed at wherever I go, like that brat of Romneys clan said to me " and you always will have to deal with the harasment but now I think the battle is just in your own head". I should have smashed her right there but I obvuiously held onto my humanity to long. SOme factions were right it IS a weakness of man to be compassionate sympathetic and humane. These assholes are all animals and they will attack you like animals until they are dealt with like animals. Some very rich and connected animals.
(who is Laura from Romneys clan? first of all dont trust mormans to begin with. Do you know how many Mormons are claimiing to be targeted? and how many I see display alot of signs of being programmed? Laura is a girl tthat horrorshowed me at the hostel owned by julies client from the cape. he knew who she was obviously becuz she got away with smoking in there and being a total cunt. she looks just like Ann Romney and blurted out info when she was drunk that matched her blabbering to both Mitt and Anns family history. She also thought I did not rememer due to the amnesia of being compartmentalized and programmed, that she is the same Laura that was Tis girlfrined years ago. I recall this becuz Jake told me he was celebrating his birhtday along with Tiberiouses girlfriend's as they were on the same day or within a day. when at the hostel she was near her b day and this triggered that memory of where i knew her from. Tiberius is a black kid who hates women due to his blonde mother being a domineering bitch to him. Kids in Newton made fun of him, he was jakes child hood friend. Jake admitted to me that he set me up one day so Ti would hate me as he was afraid that TI would take me away from him..he said the same of Drew. He was always the fat kid so he mustve been threatened by other males around him who treateed him like shit anyway..made no sense as it was only him I loved...too fuckin late now as obviously to alot of people anyhtingb I have feel do or say means nothing. Fine then what i say will mean nothing as i am giving them all the finger into the grave. fuk you all cocksuckers. yoiu rich scum. i hope your lives suck.
Jake wud brag that he was training this girl and seemed in awe of him for that. Funny how she said "oh Jake is a horrible person" but then woulnt admit that she had ever been to MA.
I hope she takes her drunkeness into old age and though she will do as all rich bitches do which is maintain a polite front shell always be that miserable drunk. I hope her self centeredness and cowardice kills her...very very slowly. And i hope that black racist sexist skinny fuk TI chokes on all those Nobel prizes he comes from. Youll never gain any weight skinny boy with that attitude. Sucks that other men are bigger than you dont it? You cant buy a physique like mine used to be can you? I had more muscles than you was taht thge problem?>
Now letrs see whgat I can do with the final blowout of the muscle between my ears.
Die all yoiu fuks. Pay pay pay. I want em all to pay and as i lie on that pyre in an undisclosed desert somewhere I will ensure that my death is the end of thier worlds however I can. You have kept me down for the last time fuck all of you. and fuk every cop who protects you and helps you becuz they are more like YOU and not regular people and they get off on managing victims for rich fuks. Fuck the boston Police and especially Brookline and Cambridge. Fuk MIT and Fuk Raytheon , which might really be why anyone gets harassed in Waltham. That or the cheap ginny mob that lives there. You make being Italian a cheap affair and I am utterly embarassed by people like Dan Dessecca. Go to hell.
You onlookers may think that this is like my favorite movie there, Sexy Beast, where that nutcase wont leave the retired criminals alone to live out thier lives....but really its the other way around. Its me who tried to change and excell and I got slammed down by my family, cops, criminals and citizens. They will bury me but they are not at all justified. This control freak with like 20 cats she rescued told me that I could map out how the escort business really works and so that is why i am targeted...I was never going to say anything anyway...even about programming. I was just going to get on with my life. I ran into alot of people like her. Nobody control freaks who tried to control my life.
I heard her saying things like "well she claims she doesnt want to have children" people kept trying to contgrol the outcome of my life like that....she was discussing MY LIFE with some other bitch who was in on it and actually thought this girl was ridiculous. DO YOU KNOW HOW DAMAGING THREATNING CHILDBIRTH IS TO A RA SURVIVOR as well as someone who cant have children due to endometriosis scars where carrrying to term would injure them. People have no regard for a mc survivor who is waking up. thier main concern is to cover the systems ass as well anyone around them who hte anyone else might come in and use the survivor against them. that is why its so important to abandon them and discredid them before they even know what is going on..so in the end when say i tell my story they can all just turn thier heads and thier noses at me. I hope you all suffer for what you have done. I hope the country suffers moreso than now. I hope my book helps the smart people who care to escape and punishes all the arrogant cocksuckers who dont want to know.
AND thier big rationale is that your 'ghetto' or some shit so that your naturally naive and inferior. Is that why you can only program people from certain bloodlines? lets do a DNA test I wud be very curious to see exactly who i am related to. This allows people to view the survivor as a naive and worthless person that the system needs to control and keep down and deny a life.
I will not live kept down like this and I certainly dont want to live the way they have destroyed my programming and have driven me to write this book. either way i am corrupted and am not acting on my own Will so what is the point of life? there is none. Unless i am handed or gain complete power to destroy my enemies. Then and only then when the scales are balanced would life be worth even a bit of consideration..and you can bet that is never going to happen. Everyone chooses this massive system over me. Good then choke as i burn. when i get on that pyre (and i wont die just any old way as it must be in ritual so if i die before my task if finished then i was murdered, well i am being murdered anyway) i will be sure it affects everyone i can think of. good keep not believing in ritual and the metaphysical. i am just crazy yes i know and i am making all these stories up.
go for it.
and you can all go fuk yourselves for what you have done. i hate yoiu all and the whole world can rot.
so the rich kids always win the cops lick thier assholes as much as they can and nothing i have will rival thier power....i never thought my life would be interfered with my a bunch of rich brats. why must they come down to my life and interrupt it so. perhaps they thought
-they are smarter than me and i am just dumb not programmed
-that i couldnt be trusted to keep quiet and go on with my life.
Lou gheppetti a wealth of information as a perp told me that not only is my mother 'sick' (well duh) and my families cruelty to me 'infamous' he also mentioned something about the brats messing with me as a way to protect 'daddys castle' as he described it.
Listen you stupid litttle bastards get off the pills and the boose and think with your brains and not your fuckin credit cards for a minute you pukes...I didnt program ME did I you geniuses. So you are persecuting me for me being a victim trrying to get out and better myself? YOu are so fucking dead as much as I can before i go. You are so lucky you are protected as youi destroy. And we all know that you keep me down out of jeaousy.
I was smarter I was prettier than alot of yoiu and I was more talented. I hope daddys castle gets a huge mass of damage very soon. I hope there are forces out there that dont respect money and arent Crazy Christain crappers either but something with no BIAS that respects spirit and the true balance of the world.
I will be screaming for your blood every time you see me walking the streets anywhere, and well into my grave.
and your fukin cronies those bastard house slaves you use at the ;lower levels to maintain your power. They live and die like animals anyway so there is some of my satisfaction.