Mind you I was hit so hard the day before the Bioethics Commission that it felt exactly like a Saturday night here in Cambridge, which I have posted many times over, is THE single most harsh time period consistently for being targeted by what seems to be technologies. Whether its purposefully targeting only certain individuals or its electromagnetic pollution isn't totally clear.
I felt just like my face was melting off. I walked around Manhattan with one eye drooping, totally screwed up. Lots of ideations of course trying to convince me not to attend the next day, horrible things.
One of the main reasons I attended is that two days before I left for NYC I had more peace from torture, harassment and behavior modification than I have in years. It felt like 2002 again, before this all started. So I figured it was worth going.
I have gotten alot out of a rubber bracelet given to me by one of the female TI's. It says "SAY NO TO COINTELPRO & YES TO JUSTICE". Over the years I began to think that the idea of putting anything overt on clothing about being targeted seemed like a bad idea. Actually, alot of people see the word 'cointelpro' and seem to back off. Interesting.
I want to thank everyone who attended and the Committee people for working with TI's.
We are so powerless and so few and the system that is doing this has either black budget funding or its partial black budget. The Pentagon misplaces billions and cant account for it. This is the kind of state actor we are up against. And people in society play along with these projects in order to survive or get opportunities they wouldnt normally have had. Psychiatry covers for many victims and human experimentees in a major way.
At this time its now normal for a RA survivor or person coming out of programming to be handled and targeted instead of given any sort of chance to seek therapy or leave any evidence or testimony at all. Psychiatrists are a major information gate keeper if you will in this little 'game' of thiers. They make first contact with the Target, usually through the TI being hit with tech and not understanding that is what is happening to them. The TI is then brought into the psychiatry system and if anything major occurs, like deprogramming and going through suicide programming and sequences, the entire system is already on the person as well as psychiatry has been with them all along.
Its amazing how the system was right there when I started to deprogram. I was isolated and surrounded and not given any chance whatsoever to get any fair treatment. THIS is what Clinton meant when he said there would never again be another MK Ultra trial or committee.
I highly suspect that the reason its so important to have kept MK Ultra quiet and handle it under the radar as they have, and keep it basically perceived as conspiracy in the media, is that they were planning all along to implement mass mind control, thus, the public must not be aware in any way that such mind control experiments took place. Becuz we can now be pretty sure that part of these experiments in the 50's and beyond were to assist in bringing about mass mind control world wide, as it is today.
Valerie Wolf, in the testimonies from the Pres Advisory Committee from 95, said that experimentees were monitored, watched, intimidated and kept under brainwashing (not programming) to control them from speaking out, becuz "they knew (the programming) would break down, and I think thats whats been happening here". So when I deprogrammed and went through suicide programming in 2003, the system was right on it. In my case, I believe that MK Ultra tactics were used to induce suicide programming, either to control the process to lead me into behavior modification or to experiment with deprogramming mind controlled slaves for whatever purpose. Mold per exposure to micotoxins caused just the brain damage that was needed to start compartments leaking.
This system wants Targeted Survivors and observers to believe they are doing a good and humane thing, what they are really up to is not only covering thier tracks from decades prior, but eliminating evidence and any indication of experimenting with mind control in order to control human populations. I know this sounds unbelievable, but watch the Presidents Advisory Committee On Human Radiation Experiments videos of testimonies on You Tube or my channel. That is exactly what Valerie Wolf says in reference to the experimentees. It was very important for the Advisory Committee to only name Radiation in its title and to keep the press churning out stories about chemical experiments for mind control from CIA and radiation experiments from the military end. Survivors testimonies tell of things a hell of alot more compelling than that. The very fact that they testify about the harassment, which now I realize IS 'gang stalking', and one of the Committee members says that it sounds like its a huge project, involving many people outside the CIA, shows that these projects never ceased, as what experimentees and mind control survivors are describing IS what we know as 'gang stalking'.
And survivor testimony from memory clearly states that many test subjects and mind control victims were used in cross over experiments.
Lastly, never once has it been revealed as to where the results of these experiments ended up or what later work has been rooted in the results of those experiments. Becuz obviously, its still going on, though it seems now they just want to cover thier asses totally and completely. When one wonders why that is so damn important, considering its far in the past, one only need realize that gang stalking IS part of these projects as well as the implementation of mass mind control would not be possible if the results of human experimentation by the CIA and military rooted in Nazi knowledge and experiments was revealed.
The longer I exist in this bullshit timeline, the more I realize that someone has to expose and reveal just how the magic trick was done becuz I for one am not happy with the way this show is written. For me to be a homeless woman, living in such poverty and being pushed to only help others or work in the homeless field, is definately NOT what I was originally capable of.
What I get most of the time is this feeling that there are so many people whos attitude is 'dont ruin it for the rest of us' by exposing the truth. TIs are human sacrifices to this new time line. We are expected to keep silent about what we have seen, what has happened to us and what has been denied us in this life due to the actions of total mad men over many decades.
Mass mind control is now being used to bring about a false state of order and peace at least in America. This is constantly reinforced daily by the system. We now live in a totally psycho civilized world and its not necessarily a good thing.
Who I am has been completely changed as a person. I am expected to believe that I am a better person. My health has been destroyed, my intelligence lowered and my talents taken from me. I am expected to accept this as who I really am in the face of a society that either doesnt want to believe in mass mind control or the targeting of individuals or the people who DO know that want it kept quiet so that psycho civilization benefits them for whatever reason.
Until the truth is told, and accepted by the masses, no one will ever be free. Not myself nor even all the people who sold me out during Bush. All of us have been forced into false selves, false ends, false lives. There is no way that its normal for me to be homeless and totally destroyed like I am, which is why it was so important from the beginning of this to make me seem mentally ill without anything behind it or on drugs and whatever smear went with it.
I now understand the actions of the system, the massive networks involved in this and the huge amounts of money and resources the harassers seem to have access to. Mass mind control isnt seeming to come cheap.
Its got to end however or at least the public must be told of its existence and how it works. Its the only way to free myself and others from the actions that were taken during the Bush adminstration. I look at pictures of people I used to know that sold me out, and they dont even look like themselves anymore. They havent since selling out during Bush. People can call me crazy all they want, this is not my false perception.
I seen photos of Jake now and he looks like Hollywood Nobody. He's fat again too. He looks terrible. I look over his photo from 99 when I knew him, and that man is dead. That is not normal. And I am NOT crazy. Perhaps that is a just end to someone who sells out who they really are and destroys their true spirit in return for some meager opportunities. Being in with rich kids helps to I guess, like Alley who fits right in Hollywood and who's parents are wealthy psychologists. (I love the bio that keeps changing according to what forum its in. He always neglects to mention he was a fat spoiled rich kid who's mom held onto him for dear life out of.guilt so he lived in their attic for.years, hiring boomers,drinking tequila and taking downers supplied by his manager Orlando. Dealing drugs out of his parents house and his car and robbing the copy shop he managed blind in order to trade graphic design artwork for pot to.fellow bands to sell that pot and then sink the money into his band. No wonder hr hadn't done taxes in years when I met him lol. )
The events and happenings of the Bush era stole the souls and spirits of many people, this assisted in forming a totally false timeline. Its the feeling of living in an 'unreality' as so many people percieve since Obama.
I dont care if the rationale for creating what is basically The Matrix in real life, is valid. Such as a failing environment,a coming disaster, or having to move underground or into space to survive. Some of us would rather die here on earth as humans are supposed to exist on our home planet than be turned into mindless slaves who are dictated to by some elite group and controlled by pathetic tech like cell towers. (and since my mother is a documented experimentee related to MK Ultra, I am TOTALLY not in fear of my sanity being doubted. Just look at the testimonies. They drove my father nuts for running around blabbing that my mother and her family were involved in a secret govt project involving the CIA and the military. Its not going to be so easy with me. And I will get them for destroying my family by the way.)
Whatever is coming it must be severe for the elite who seem to think they know best for humanity, to have to create a Matrix in real life. That very movie's purpose is obviously to prime people for such a thing being perceived as 'normal' when they begin to sense something is amiss subconsiously. Which is exactly what has occurred.
Either that or they are trying to create the ultimate slave race, based on genetics, interbreeding in specific ways (Europeans are being brainwashed to interbreed with African DNA en mass but note that its not the same campaign for rich whites, elite blacks or especially the Jews. This is not racism on my part. You have to be very aware that creating an ultimate slave race is a possibility as one of thier main goals. Breeding Europeans with African DNA until there is no more seperation of the two might just be for this purpose, add to that mass mind control. Whos to say they dont just want a planet of slaves while they move to Mars etc? I have much experience with this system and slavery is something they specialize in via mind control. And DNA has alot to do with thier choices of who gets mind controlled or programmed etc. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING).
Nothing is too vile for the perpatrators of this system of enslavement. Continuing to exist under mass mind control or as a mind control Survivor being constantly behavior modified is NO WAY TO LIVE. Having the past erased from your mind with brain damage, isolation, systematic ignoring and constant never ending daily interface from either computers or AI or operatives using tech, as well as psychic warriors, IS NO WAY TO LIVE.
You dont know how much I wish this was mental illness. You dont understand how much I want this to be insanity or a disorder or delusion. My life would be so much easier and I could just take medication. But I didnt imagine the years of harassment from people who knew things about my life they should not have. Many of the things I saw and experienced are not, could not have been imagined. The experiences are far too specific and much to in sequence. Society simply wants to believe someone like myself is mentally ill as its easier to accept and deal with. Its convenient. Its easier and believe me, if I had the luxury of being in that position I would also take that opportunity. But I dont. I have seen too much over the years and I know too much. All of which indicates that my father was privy to information that got him targeted and driven out of his mind. That Nazi human experimentation, rooted in Project Paperclip is real, and has resulted in a massive coverup not only concerning individual victims, but a massive conspiracy to overtake the United States of America as well as it seems other 'democratic nations',with
mind control- using a system of psychological warfare, chemical and technological means.
I often think about Jake, and I simply want to be in the attic apartment of his parent's house, listening to the rain outside, that he focused on and I would miss, even though the hissing in his ears from playing bass loud, still his ears were more alert than mine. I was busy, as a more visual artist, staring closely and examining his golden hair, that I was convinced was spun by the gods themselves.
(As I wrote this sentimental piece, I felt someone was reading it as I typed it, and I felt a reaction from this 'viewer'. This is also a distraction I get constantly especially within city limits where tech is strong as well as always on the internet writing this blog. Its quite possible that the new thrill of some people is to subscribe to some sneaky hacker system where one can read posts by bloggers like me, not as they are published BUT AS THEY ARE WRITTEN. However, since the effect of this phenomenon is that I am distracted and feel writing is pointless due to my not having any privacy, it stands to reason that its another deception by the system. One of the greatest tactics used by captors of prisoners either in prison or war time prison camps, is to ensure that the prisoners have no privacy. Do you see how consistently TI's are not experiencing paranoia but are experiencing the exact same conditions as in a prison camp or civilian prison? All of it based on cult mind control tactics.)
Its so easy to write the TI off after years of them being out of the picture as well as being slandered as crazy by everyone who is fully aware that is not the case. I think that since it was so easy to do to my father that everyone involved thought it was going to be fairly easy with me. And I now understand why I am treated differently than my mother and always have been treated badly by medical people etc whereas she gets coddled.
Someone wrote me once that I was being targeted becuz I was too much like my father instead of my mother. This turned out to be the motive for a woman being targeted in East Germany by Stasi also during that horrible era in history, where many people experienced exactly what TI's do today. I didnt understand how that fit in but I do now. My mother, obviously, plays along with the system either out of being more controllable or a sense of security as her motivation. I, like my father, have no problem doing this very Eastern European thing, which is to rebel against an oppressive state and think politically. He got targeted becuz he blabbed about my mother being connected to MK Ultra basically-and other instances where he rebelled against offical authority consistently. His sister speaks of such stories with amusement..and with knowledge of the true circumstances it seems.
This is why so many TI's use the book STASILAND as a reference. At this point in my being a TI I can say with confidence that the circumstances are exactly like East Germany. The difference is that this system works better to oppress society, becuz people are not denied material gains overtly. In fact, material gain is used as reward. Play along and you wont be targeted and you'll get the American dream. If only you help the system take it away from others.
Many Americans most likely know what is going on and perhaps even agree with the system that we are security threats. TIs have to stop questioning why this is, it just IS.
Someone very sweetly asked during the time out at the Bioethics Committee what the perp's motive was. I figured its control and power, simple. As Americans its almost impossible to percieve living in an East Germany type existence. This is why its been so easy to control Targets and lie to the public. Its impossible for Americans to accept this reality. If they DO accept it, the lure of material gains as a pleasurable diversion from such a reality is always right there to act as a way to make it all better and continue to support the system.
And this system ensures nowadays that there is very little alternative to material gains as the main way to deal with reality. Slowly, all alternative means of living have been phased out. Underground EVERYTHING has been co opted or wiped out. All supposedly alternative scenes are infiltrated.
There is a reason that Bush during his NWO speach that was so insane, was confident in his claim that not if but "when we are successful" that they would be. "...when we are successful- and we will be...". Its insane the way that a very effective evil genius in a bond movie is insane: the man may be mad but he isnt f*cking around and he gets results. Making fun of Bush or his family was always a waste of time. They and people like them, are effective, connected, resources and go according to plan. There is nothing funny about them. And Bush the son is no idiot. Years ago, people were saying elder Bush was "a wimp". I always knew that was a grave mistake. Lean skinny people who act that non chalant about important events are using thier brains to max capacity and can be extremely dangerous and effective. Reagan was the perfect cowboy diversion, to make Bush look like the Wimp.
The people behind these events are artists. They come from families who have been at this for centuries. There is no way that we can eradicate 'evil' from the earth or humanity. There is no way to build a perfect paradise by mind control or by ridding the world of so called 'evil'. Humanity's best bet is to accept the existence of such forces and be alot more aware of thier presence and safeguard accordingly. 'Evil', if you will, has always been up to these kinds of things but now the issue is that its gotten a bit out of hand. Having access to mass mind control through tech is a bit much and it gives darker forces an advantage on the playing field that is just totally unfair over common people and is totally unacceptable.
This is really the only thing I think many of us are out to accomplish. To re aquaint man with the reality of such forces existing in his world, which modern people seem out of touch with now, due to percieving Christianity as something left over from the past. In a Judeo-Christian country, most people are not percieving or accepting the existence of such forces as realistic. That poses a problem due to the fact they are mistaken. And they are living lies due to hiding behind Judeo-Christianity while engaged fully in supporting what has become a Satanic system.
The problem lies in these things being defined by a system that puts such forces in opposition. I seem to percieve such things as duality not opposition. There will always be people who hate humanity who want to enslave humans. The darker forces in our world serve a purpose. But when the power is out of balance as grossly as it has become now, theres a problem.
Why wake man kind up with the internet and progress in technologies just to enslave him? Its a great trick but its one that cannot be allowed to be pulled off without at least some fair disclosure of how it is done, so that if any human beings decide that the security of enslavement is not something they chose Willfully, they may act accordingly.
Its that simple. And its the main reason everyone hates us so much. Becuz people would rather not be informed about what makes thier lives so easy and tidy. TIs doing activism force them to be aware of moral and even spiritual responsibilities and therefore they dont have time to play like children going to Disney World or church and ignoring reality. TIs are inconvenient for a multitude of reasons and this is one of them. For many human beings, what Bush is offering is going to be thier idea of 'freedom'. Be totally prepared for disappointment after the entire thing is exposed.
But after that my damn job is done finally. Mankind can do as they like. And for many of us tied up in this falsified timeline, created by deceptions and sealed by such means daily, such an exposure will finally free us from this trap. No one could ever again claim ignorance about my or other TI's situations. There will be a point of reference for the truth, and only by Willful ignorance and avoidance, will the public be able to continue to believe in the deceptions.