I dont know what is wrong with my lately. I actually feel more weak physically and weak of mind than I have in years. Something happened when Osama Bin Laden was killed. I feel like some intensity to the situation is gone.
Its interesting that TIs felt buzzed during those horrible years during Bush, becuz the rest of the nation agreed with us basically. Slowly however as Obama got elected people stopped focusing on what was really wrong, the main problems slipped away and we were left hanging. Its like TI's never got to leave the war of the early 2000's becuz those actions were never dealt with.
The rest of the nation moved on, misdirected yes, but moved on without us. Now, this hero they have created out of Obama, who to TI's is just a continuation of what wont die from Bush, has made another point in the timeline where people are going to get even more comfortable with this timeline and its lies, this ongoing deception.
This leaves us feeling even more left for dead. And its been so many years since 2003. Some of us still live to be validated for what took place starting in 2003. We still exist in 2003.
I believe this is on purpose. I see now that TI's like myself might not have fought so hard if the rest of the country was not against Bush as well. But support for us is waning the more this man makes heroic moves to still get away from the realities of what was started and what happened during Bush.
Lately I am constantly doubting myself, my ongoing contribution to gang stalking activism and even my sanity. I no longer see this as a mission to be carried out risking or disregarding death but as something I should let go of and forget. UMass is now being pushed as if it is inevitable.
Its all about getting me a future now and forgetting what happened in the past.
Going to the doctor today and the way I was treated by many people in the hospital is supposed to I assume wear down my Will further with this idea that I will never be validated. That life must remain surreal and I must continue to live in this lie to survive, dominated and controlled by gang stalkers.
Interestingly this all comes down heavy on me, ONLY WITHIN CITY LIMITS OF THE METRO BOSTON AREA AND WITH A BIOETHICS COMMISSION AT THE END OF THE MONTH THAT MANY TI'S THINK I SHOULD ATTEND AND GIVE TESTIMONY.
Isnt that convenient.
I have NEVER run out of gas so completely and so quickly as I have in the last month or so. Its ridiculous.
OK I am the fattest I have been in my life, OK so I am stuck in a practical mind controlled loop at On The Rise I cant get out of and never should have fallen into. OK so staying in Boston has made me very weak, deconditioned and brainwashed with very little results due to the allergist dept head at Tufts Medical today telling me he'd treat me but he wont admit the Bactrim had anything to do with my aquiring this condition.
Outside now. Wrote that in library. Oh great now I am being given the idea that someone somewhere thinks I am selfish.
Is that not the most unfair and ridiculous thing yet? If I were selfish I would have sold out and conformed and stopped my activism by now.
The system really is made most nervous by exposure aren't they? Either my writing book or getting lawyer or any of us showing up at that bioethics committee