I have suffered so much injustice at the hands of this system that my life will never be the same. This time I will not back down.
I wonder if a phone call was made or if there is something on the computers that cops have that says that I am targeted or that I am enemy of the state or that the cops screwed me up so bad in Boston that my life has basically been ruined. Or if the way I was treated during this incident is just the standard now in the USA which actively supports corporate interests not its citizens any longer.
I was leaving Albertson's food store at 6:40 pm tonight in San Diego CA. 655 14th street.
I had not taken a plastic bag due to being against them for environmental reasons. I use a blue shopping bag for all my purchases from stores and this time was no different. As I walked out of the store and to the left I was grabbed from behind. I was pulled physically backward by the bags on my shoulders by someone very roughly. I had earphones in and so was shocked at this action. My earphones fell out and I turned to see a man in my face still holding onto my bags on my shoulders he was aggressively raising his voice asking me "Do you have a reciept for these things?" and I said "yes". He then said "where is it?" and then was still aggressive to me as we entered the store. He was saying something as I was in front of him and I believe it was "you better get in there" or similar continued harassment and aggression towards me. I told the management at the desk he put his hands on me and he was now near the entrance/exit, he stated loudly "No, I didnt" and then disappeared off into the store. Management was more concerned with if I had a reciept or not and they were not as aggressive but they were rude and all anyone cared about was if I had a reciept or not.
I produced my reciept and told them I do not use plastic for environmental reasons. You could sense that they knew they screwed up. Everyone agreed with me that I had a right to be upset due to him putting his hands on me which he shouldnt have done even if I was stealing. What amazes me most is that they really felt that if I was shoplifting that these actions were validated in some way.
I then asked for security and asked for the police to be called.
The manager called security and claims she called the non emergency police.
Security came to me and asked to take down my information and then asked me to identify the employee who grabbed me. The customer service counter people told the security guard that they knew the man's name, they knew who it was.
One of the first things I mentioned after telling me that he put his hands on me was "see this guy here? Hes security. That is who should be dealing with shoplifting as he has training." I then added that I find it strange in such a heavily military town that the situation was not dealt with via proper protocol.
I also added which maybe I shouldnt have that I was not even from here but from Boston. Yes I was using my outdoor voice for sure but management was very good with this and agreeing that I had ever right to be upset.
They finally asked me if I wanted to sit down. I sat in the little area in front of Pete's coffee. I had sat there peacefully in the past after making purchases and the female manager even stated that she has seen me in there many times before and always peacably.
The security guard then came over and stood in front of me as I sat down waiting for police to arrive. I asked him why he was taking my info down if perhaps he would be the one who would function as laison when they arrived. He said it was part of his job to take down the incident for his log.
As he left I continued to wait for police to arrive. I called a friend who I felt comfortable with in case of emergency. He told me to get a police report made, to call the police myself instead of trusting the store to do so and when I did call them to state that I needed an officer or unit to come due to being 'assaulted by an Albertson's employee'. While I was waiting the manager said that they would view the security video to see what occured. My friend also told me to ask the police to view the video tape and if Albertsons lost the video or anything else suspect then I should ask to see the video or for them to prove that he didnt grab me via the video tape.
I waited until 7:20 or so and the police had still not arrived. During the interum I asked security if police were on thier way and he said he did not think so, asked if they were called and said that was it really and to get the number and call tomorrow.
Uh, I wasnt going for that so I asked management and they said the cops were indeed called.
I heeded my friends advice. I called myself and the operator asked what happened. There was some nonsense at first like her saying "So he suspected you of shoplifting?" I stopped that dead and basically repeated that I needed police there due to being assaulted by an Albertson's employee AND NOTHING ELSE. She said that police were called when asked, but she also said that a different location was given by whoever called so that is why they had not arrived yet. (!)
they did arrive at around 7:20 to 7:30 (it will be in the incident report the exact time, I was busy being upset and trying to deal with a slight reaction connected to my prior anaphyactic shock- I cant be upset like that with adrenaline pumping as it brings on or can bring on syptoms that are similar or part of those affects from the anyphalixis from the Bactrim pill a few months ago).
One officer dealt with me as the other dark haired one was on the radio in the backround. This officer that dealt with me was young with green eyes large pupils I recall.
The officer asked me what happened and I told him exactly what occured outside. There was a video camera right behind him in this area, alot of them in fact so I suppose if anyone wants to really know how they dealt with me, watch the video. I recall only that he asked me what happened and I told him. He then began to try to discuss with me what my opinion was on what happened. He also then tried to start making a slant on what happened and explain it away in favor of Albertson's and thier employee(s). I became aware that I was being either intimidated or that I was being swayed by the officer about the incident and I then became nervous due to that being traumatizing on top of what had happened to me. I became so scared that the police would try to intimidate me further that I told the officer that I was not comfortable discussing the incident in this manner, and I did not want any thing but to file a police report, to view the video or have them view it and was not comfortable discussing any opinions or philosophy on what had happened to me. I then became aware that the officer would not cease and dissist his attempts to 'discuss' what occured and he even mentioned something about having an open mind about this. I felt that they were not doing thier jobs in the best interest of the public or of the alleged victim in this instance. I then asked to be excused while I called my friend back. The officer actually told me that he would prefer that I did not make any phone calls at this time and talked to him instead. He would not stop insisting on discussing what occured and interjecting his opinions until I told him again that I was not comfortable discussing what occured in any form and when I mentioned the anaphylactic shock I suffered which still have residual effects when I am upset, and called it a medical condition outright that prevented me from discussing the attack with him any further he THEN stoppped.
During all of this the officers were both intimdating and at times rude to me in showing thier authority. I felt as if I was being baited many times and used all my know how to stay very calm even though I was jsut grabbed from behind in the dark in a dangerous area of a major city by an aggressive male. The officers actions served to get me almost to the point of a reaction that could have gone into something worse so I needed him to stop. He only did so as I mentioned above, after I stated I had a medical condition.
However his insistence on basically changing my opinion about what happened, telling me not to make any phone calls to my outside support and even basiclaly insisting that we discuss the issue in such a manner after I clearly did not want to do so at the risk of being further upset is absolutely outrageous.
basically this man was demanding I let him tell me what to think about what occured. I dont believe that is in his job description. ANd I believe I had the right to only give him pertinent information not be forced to discuss it with him to his liking.
They also both behaved like I was the one who did something wrong during these proceedings. At one point I found myself almost in tears due to thier intimidation as well as feeling like if I did not kiss thier asses that I might be taken in for some infraction. Especially due to their obvious baiting attempts.
I called my friend and told him that they werent going to let me file a report until they had determined that a crime had occured. The dark haired officer who was taller went to watch the video tape after I saw him getting the Albertson's employee's side of the story. I couldnt help but hear them talking due to the fact that THE OTHER OFFICER INTERVIEWED THE EMPLOYEE RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME as I was trying to tell my side to the other officer. This made me distracted as I told my version of events and it was rather traumatizing to once again see the asailant in this fashion.
The dark haired officer returned and said it was a misunderstanding and that the employee got in front of me never grabbed me. I then interjected about the video tape and asked if they could view it or if I could view it. The officers reaction was rude and arrogant basically once again having to keep control of the situation through intimidation. He replied "I will watch it YOU dont get to watch it." See what I mean? And this is the way they treat a woman who was grabbed from behind at night in this neighborhood. ALLEGEDLY..I know I know. It had yet to be proven.
The officer with the green eyes then tries again to talk to me and I dont wish to...I stayed resistent to further attempts to alter my attitude or even to gain knowledge of my attitude about the situation. Such attempts included him saying such things as "what would you think if you saw someone with a bag like that" blah blah. It was all damage control obviously. His job is not to try to soften the situation or influence my feelings on it. Its also my right to not listen to that or to not speak at all- even if I was the one under arrest I believe its my right to not speak. As the victim I believe its my right not under by claiming the 5th but by that not being part of my obligation at that time and not part of his job.
He then said "Do you want to talk to me or be on the phone?" I stalled further attempts by him to 'discuss' the situation further in this manner by trying to make a phone call. I also told him that my friend who is 7 months pregnant went to the emergency room today and I needed to check up on that situation as well while we waited. He seemed to enjoy me having to reason or beg him out of trying to 'talk' to me any further.
And I pose this: If nothing did indeed occur and the employee was indeed in the right (which had not been established yet due to the cop not seeing the video) then why the constant talking geared towards me 'having an open mind' about this or other attempts to alter my feelings on the ALLEGED situation? Hmmmmm.
I called my friend finally and told him that they would not file a report becuz the employee says he did nothing wrong as well as the manager said that she viewed the tape and saw nothing there. I told my friend that the cops were pulling this though they had not seen the tape themselves. He was..confused, to say the least.
The other policeman then returned shortly after my phone call. He said that there was nothing on the tape to support my claim but he stated it in a way that was misleading and made it sound like the store employees claims of a totally different version of events was proven by the tape.
By the way during waiting for this cop to return, a female cop came in and this was also intimidating as I felt she was there in case of an incident involving me having to be searched or taken into custody. I was on the phone but I saw the young green eyed cop telling her a version of events I was sure was the store clerks and not mine where when he was done she laughed it off and left the area. He did this right in front of me and when I stopped my phone call to listen to what version of events he was giving her, he looked at me and said "Do you want to listen to ME or be on the phone?" So I was by that statement then intimidated into not hearing what he was saying and returning to my phone call.
As I was detailing, the cop had finally returned and was saying that everyone now considered it a misunderstanding. The cop was very confident about this ONLY AFTER HE HIMSELF VIEWED THE TAPE. Which tells me that with all the other crap they were pulling, the intent from the beginning was white wash, he just needed to make sure that the tape supported thier collective version.
I then somehow through something I said got into the part of the dark haired cop that was still...a cop for the people. I grilled him nicely about the tape and asked "Is there any part of the tape that shows us interacting?" He said curtly that he could not answer that question. I then played a bit with what he was telling me and what I knew to be true about this man attacking me. The cop then did his job for the people by saying the sentence "There is no CONCLUSIVE evidence on the tape that shows a crime occured". I think it was then that we finished up and they asked me if there was anything they could do for me. I was scared to death but asked for their badges very very nicely. By this time I was very sheepish and basically hating myself for it every minute. I then asked how to trace what they were telling me they were going to document about the incident. Thier first response was to, again, let me know I was a powerless peon with no access by saying "No one can view an internal official police document". I then asked if anyone within the police dept could view it( I was trying to make sure the info was tracable was all not look at the damn thing myself) and due to their response I then came up with my own as thier response was "Like who?" I then said "Like a seargent or internal affairs.." When I mentioned internal affairs the dark haired older one knew that didnt mean anything in the long run but the younger cop looked like someone had just usurped his authority and I cant help but wonder with that look on his face how many quieted brutality sessions this kid has already been taught is the way to handle anyone who questions or challenges police authority.
They both then snapped out of thier focusing on not being caught as part of this obvious snow job and recalled reality..they both snapped out of it at the same time and went "OH" "yeah we will give you an incident number". Thats all I wanted guys was it to be tracable. But they were so immersed in this other thing that the obvious just escaped them.
The best part in all of this was when the dark haired cop was talking to me, I looked at the green eyed younger one and he was staring at my chest area but then I realized that he was not staring at my breasts but was totaly off into space somewhere. I have seen this look before and with the activism I do I should damn well know. I had to wonder if he was in the military and saw action or wonder what the hell are they doing to these guys at the acedemy nowadays. That look, that STARE off into one's own mind for a moment is very distinct. And he is so young that he probably doesnt even truly remember whatever it is that he is recalling mentally that has taken him so far into his mind. I didnt think he was stupid enough to stare at my tits with all the other insults of thier behavior...and I was right. He was gonzo, out in the field somewhere. Who knows if it was the killing field or some childhood memory or something they did to him at the acedemy..or worse. Technological progress is so great isnt it? Pretty soon they probably wont even need these guys, they'll just get tech enhanced humans to do their jobs...overtly tech enhanced.
Anyway the most cheap and degrading thing to occur was when the female manager came over and said she felt badly (actually she at one point looked like a fellow female who knew I was being screwed over by males) and now she had a smile like she was as fake as can be.
She felt badly and wanted to know if I would take a gift certificate for my troubles. She seemed to really be pushing it and that is not a good sign in cases like this. I politely refused and they all kept on pressing for a change of my reality on this one and I just politely said that I had to follow up on it on my own and I reassured the manager that she is not the one who came out and attacked me so she is not personally responsible.
It might have been a ploy to try to make me feel bad that she felt bad or some sort of seeing if I will respond to her instead of the reality of what happened and then forget about it altogether. The ending was interesting with them all standing there trying to still get me to change my mind basically and her not stopping talking to me about it as I continued to not give into attaching emotion to the situation but kept logical. I was pleasant enough and even sheepish due to the male cop intimidation but its interesting how BAD these people were at mind control tactics that they could not give up even though it was obvious I had NOT given up my Will.
What also was obnoxious was that the cop asked the other one if there was an order for me to leave the store (!). The other cop then replied "She has a reciept for her things in the bag" it was as if that was the real goal the whole time. That statement plus the showing up of the female cop obviously in case I was to be taken in. Its like they were saying that I couldnt be busted for anything like stealing. After what I had been through it was still all about making the victim feel guilty about the circumstances.
The cop had the audacity to ask me to leave the store. I then stated the obvious which is that I had wanted to leave hours ago.
Can YOU BELIEVE the rudeness and the mind gaming with this bs?
One has GOT to wonder if its gs related or not. I mean really. I just wonder if some perp or comm watch idiot was stupid enough to think that they finally had something on me personallly and they just went for it with gusto, thinking that no matter what happens I get treated like shit by the system anyway and so nothing they do has any consequences.
My whole life seems to consist of this system trying whatever it feels like to get me to commit a crime or screw up and whatever they do to get that result is all fine and good but when they are hurting ME or denying me my rights, its of no consequence.
I am indeed treated like a target that the system is alwasy going to try to 'get' and everything THEY do is fine. If I am victimized then I am just intimidated time and time again and I am sure that there is hope that will also help lead to my sense of helplessness and suicide.
I was so traumatized by being grabbed from behind my a man on a dark street and then intimidated by two men who are supposed to be helpful to me NOT ALBERTSON's that I actually thought I was going to have to go to a hospital. that is how much pressure I am under that I DONT need this bs.
His attack just brougt back memories of Scott as well as whatever else is there from the past many years of fighting this system. Or even my mothers violence. I mean it really f*cked me up and if know myself I will handle it well for a while and itll will come out in some sneaky way beyond my control as a delayed reaction. I dont need that sh*t due to the fact that I cant keep an eye on that due to everything else I am compartmentalizing. Its too much of a work load for anyones brain, especially one suffering from damage due to mold exposure and my dental problems with the headaches up in my jaw.
It also made me realize just how important it is that I write this book, this account of my experiences at any cost. It is the most important thing I will ever do.
The treatment of the poor or homeless population is illustrated enough in this account if it is NOT gs related. And outside of any of that it illustrates the way that corporate interests so overshadow human rights or citizens rights nowadays that I believe this society deservdes NOTHING LESS than the ultimate book on the disregard for human life in an age of corporate domination as well as a police state.
WIll I call a lawyer? Maybe I am capable and maybe not in the following days. Doesnt matter becux its right here for the world to see.
