There is a woman who has approached me from the beginning at WLP who claims to be another targeted individual. She is the woman I identify as "C" in my record of what occured at WLP. She is the woman that was threatened with physical harm by another person there namd Tracy due to her interference and constant pointing out of a crime gang who hangs out there.
I have also blogged that C was at the winter shelter I am at now, run by Harvard for the season. I have only had a few difficulties there and after writing some other TI's privately to get support, I have found it a peaceful stay.
The staff is wonderful and alot of us feel they do too much for us...but they know as we do its a two week 'vacation' from the homeless circuit, where we will return to abusive shelters wrought with gangs and comprimised staff workers. Womens shelters in Boston are especially depressing.
I have posted that C, who is using the name Christine (she claims this is not her real name), was already at this Cambridge location when I arrived. I have also written many TI's personally as I have posted publically that Christine was unfriendly to me when I waved to her at seeing her that first night I was there. I took this as a cue that she wanted to be left alone and have posted that her actions were a mystery to me.
I could only assume that she either wanted to not identify with another Targeted Individual due to safety reasons, or that she is up to playing games for whatever reason which I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR. Nor do I have the energy.
There is another woman there who I was with in a shelter in Waltham years ago. This woman was also known to be very controlling at this location. When asked if I could watch the Simpsons at this shelter, she was ironing and replied "WE are not a cartoon crowd here". The younger girls, including a girl in my room, would make fun of her and say she needs to stop thinking she's high class.
The girl in my room knew about the targeting-that day I had gotten harassed by some police in Cambridge and when I returned to Bristol Lodge Waltham, MA, this girl said I was a "very smart woman" in connection to the targeting and harassment and intimated that I would be just fine due to me being very smart. This was a sentence I heard from alot of people and it is, as far as I am concerned, a way of brushing off what is being done to the TI. Its a minimizing tactic..
So this older woman who I have been with before in a shelter is still controlling. She insists every morning on turning on all the bright lights becuz "Its after 7 oclock". Its an obsession with her. Older women who are homeless get alot of leeway from younger women-we know they are set in their ways and most likely they had homes and children and still want to play mother hen. But sometimes its too much and they need to be told they are not staff or our mothers.
C sleeps later than 7 and so do I. I assume that C is a genuine TI and I know that, for us is exhausting. We will be tired for the rest of our days. Whatever she is up to, she is as tired as I am.
This morning the older woman put on all the bright lights in the womens dorm, even though there was sufficient light available from one that was already on. As she did this she announced that it was after 7 oclock and began conversing loudly with the other woman, Anita who was awake also. Anita is agreeable and treats me well and fairly she does not take sides nor does she take crap from this older woman. This morning earlier I heard her tell this woman off for being domineering by asking " Who do u think you are fussin at?" becuz the older woman was whining about the lights to Anita and expected her to jump and turn them on.
It is obvious to me that the older woman did this not to gain access to light which she needed to perform her own affairs, but as a controlling and harassing tactic to force anyone sleeping to awaken. This is not her place. I had enough becuz she went overboard today and I said something to her. Fairly and calmly I told her that she wasnt staff, that she did not have to turn on bright lights when she knows people are still resting and that she did it on purpose to be harassing. She ignored me purposely and spoke to Anita. She acts more like a jealous bratty college dorm mate than an older woman.
I then told her she was the same in Waltham years ago. She said " oh as if we knew each other". I dont need to know her, I am victim to her controlling tactics. If anything, she involves herself in ones affairs and forces people to 'know her' by her being controlling of televisions or lights.
Now, I aplogized to Christine who woke up upon us exchanging words. I said I was sorry that she had to hear that.
As I came back after a shower, I said to C that I was sorry I woke her up but the light issue needs to stop. She was nasty to me and said in her thick NY accent " Stop saying you are sorry to me like you care about me, becuz you were the one who was wrong. You have been ignoring me the whole time I have been here".
I stated that she was unfriendly to me upon my arrival and that I took that as a sign she wanted to be left alone. She argued back a bit and walked out.
(Lets look at this: how does our misunderstanding or me ignoring her have anything to do with my position on the light issue. The two are totally unconnected and her personal feelings have nothing to do with right and wrong with the light issue.)
Also, let it be noted that one of the reasons I stepped up and said something is due to not only MY discomfort levels but that C was sleeping as well and I felt bad for her, and this is due to our prior association and that I have to assume she is a genuine TI who, like myself, needs no more bullying or crap in our lives. Let it also be noted that C was coughing the other night and even though I felt I risked being attacked in some way becuz she seemed to not want to communicate, I went out and got a blanket for her and gave it to her to cover herself becuz all she had was a flimsy one. This is my greatest downfall and why I am in this position to begin with. I act humane towards my enemies and care about people when I shouldnt.
As I went into the bathroom she was in there. She said excuse me to get by me...it was so odd. The way that for days she is able to talk to say 'excuse me' and such but never able to speak to me..even about a possible misunderstanding. Its suspect as hell is what it is and it isnt normally the way someone would act if they had been friendly outside beforehand.
Anyway, I told her that I simply thought that she wanted to be left alone and I was trying to respect her wishes..she seemed huffy physically, which is what I was afraid of, and as I left she stated " You dont respect anything".
She acted strangely in the T station the other day as well. I was doing my best to ignore her according to what I thought she wanted. I saw her in the T station but didnt look or notice her, yet, she was acting...looking around and acting like she wanted to talk to me but I was ignoring her.
Now after what I have been thru dont ya think that if someone was really a fellow TI they would understand the pressures? That she would have more compassion than that? Also, I cant see how I dont respect anything. Do I not respect a corrupt system or police and others who will take the sides of criminals over me? Hell yes. The only thing that can be said of me is that I FEAR nothing, I wont be INTIMIDATED is what she means I assume. I have been way to respctful and loving of my former lovers, freinds and family who sold me out and have been cold and visoucs to me in this compaign to destroy me.
Let me tell you a little more about Christine. She claims that Freedom from Covert Harassment is her group and aligns herself with them. However she claims to use a different name with them and has told me that they do not respond to her readily. She also claims that Aaron wont email her anymore becuz he didnt like something that she emailed to him. He is one of the leaders of the group..how can that be your group if the leader wont talk to you anymore.
I dont trust ANY group or other TI.
I have stated before that in order for Targets to have the ability to know who is who in reality we would need THE SAME INTEL COLLECTION SYSTEM THAT THE PERPS SEEM TO HAVE and that is impossible. I do not know if Aaron is freind or foe just as I do not know if C is or not. And I will not make a judgement except based on direct obsevation of behavior. No one is going to get me into flame wars....no one. Why, so I can be paraded as a suspected perp? U got another thing coming. I document--that is all. The veiwer, the observer, the reader can take it from there.
Also, this is a woman who loves to hoard information about anything unrelated to our direct situations. Such as telling me that in October marshal law was going to be declared and that I should save myself and reproduce in that event. Whenever I met her she would dominate me and the converstaion leaving me feeling drained. I told her about related issues like mc and tbmc etc and she poo poo'd it and said she knew very little about it.
She also likes to get info..she tried to get me to give her the name of my ex associate so she could " warn people" about her.
Now, here is something that is not just inconsistent behavior or bad vibes or someone making you feel bad as a red flag.
She once was talking to me and out of nowhere started telling me about her friend who ran from a police car once, and that they asked her why she ran. She said that she ran becuz she was scared just to be cornerd by the car. They told her friend not to run.. (As C made her next statement, she looked me dead in the eyes with this powerful [humph] controlling look and said monotone but sort of nasty[its called overdramatic]) "becuz it looks suspicious when you run".
I ignored this becuz I was tired and also..lets see what else she reveals.
Then comes the most obvious example of who I am dealing with.
C had a new older woman come into WLP with her one day. This woman was not a TI but one of those people who is interested and claims to want to be helpful..oh lord here we go.
So this woman at first sight of me after C introduces us, she looks at me, turns to C and says "I have to get out of here". A direct hit! Well, not really cuz I have seen this tactic before and it is an arrow that bounces right off of me. Besides, I am often tired and could be mistaken..however, knowing that women have 100 non verbal communications that men cannot detect due to our brains being wired differently...I know what I saw and so would any other woman dealing with another woman.
(This may be why women are used on close prox to harass a female TI where as men are used from a distance in cars etc...only women can see what other women are up to at close range.If u dont beleive me look it up.)
So I waited and sure enough our new friend pulled some bs one day. She came to WLP alone without C. She started up about this story- that there was a homeless woman in the park who slept outside. She came to WLP today to see if she could at least get some clothes for her.
I thought that this might be an indication of her helpfulness. Then she starts telling the story of why this woman is homeless. That she worked in social services and that she had a patient/client that "told her too much", that she "knew too much about a prostitution ring that is a part of the system." and that "they are jsut going to leave her there to die" in the homeless population. I knew what she was up to but one of the black girls got up and gave this look, not at me but so I could see her face- like she felt sooo horrible about what this woman, what this group was doing to me. And a slight warning, like 'dont you see what is happening'. It just solidified what I thought I knew to begin with.
I watched in amusement as this other woman started argueing with her that the woman in the park would have had to BE a prostitute in THAT RING to have known enough to be a threat...I mean it was ridiculous. And so this woman who looked ill upon our first meeting now showed her true colors.
So that is what I know of Christine. If she IS a targeted individual, she has alot to learn about people with 24/7 cases of harassment and the stress and pressures that brings. Also, she needs to be more respectful of others situations as TI's by learning about other circumstances-not ignoring them.