The mold that is here and the humidity..I cant think to well in this weather, one of the side effects of the prior mold exposure.
Last night was told that word had it I left becuz I wud have been thrown out if I did not. I live like a nun everyday of my life and every time people get the opportunity I am made out to be this badass, trouble maker. This serves their purposes also, becuz more people will want to get over on you and terrorize u to make a name for themselves. The system uses these types to thier advantage.
This morning the men that were there were doing small things to annoy me, but I got one of em alone on the train. I waited till other got off train..I went and just stared at him. Then I said some shit and asked him " are you a pedophile or do you simply need to get out of jail and that is why u r into this kind of shit"..Its unbelievable how much confidence nobodies have, and there are alot of them who know about what they think is my story, when they percieve that you are this throw away female...this extends to the abused trouble making female from an abusive household and this sort of scapegoat works well in Catholic, Judeo-Christian areas like Boston. No one questions the patriarchial structure and their actions, they side with them immediately. The female that is the throw away is always portrayed as hysterical and a problem. She is stupid, to be never taken seriously, kept down, revictimized, constantly mocked. This is supported by a vast huge number of 'regular guys' in this society.
Once a female they are secretly threatened by is down they must keep her down every day every minute.
WHat amazed me was his self assuredness, and complete lack of any kind of understanding that I may one day get back up on the horse and win. It was like a complete non concept to his mind.
These people are the biggest idiots I have ever seen. And I cannot beleive the sheer numbers of them..
Anyway he shoots back " I've never been to jail to begin with"..then I repeat my question and he cuts in " no, are you?" when the part came about " are you a pedophile?" The thing that creeped me out was again his devotion to lies...just like he seems totally devoted to the idea I have no power, he is devoted and fully beleives that either I am a pedophile or that the system has put out such a nasty doubt or story or whatever they did, that it sticks completely as a problem for me...the way he cut in and said " No, are you??" it was..disturbing really.
And a few months ago when I was filming one of my journals, while pan handling this shady guy had a kid with him and as I looked at him he, with much sadistic amusement, pointed at my camera and said " dont get the kid " or something intimating that I was trying to film the kid with him. The journal is just all me ranting about gangstalking and maybe getting some perps on there....there were alot each day on that bridge near Fenway.
Remember this is ALL about break you down with terror so you can be rebuilt in a more docile and manageable image.
Nothing you say seems to phase these people who are in on it..they seem convinced of your permanent downfall. That you are all done and thats that.
Thier reality must be broken.
Becuz THEY ARE WRONG.
THEY LIE AND THEY ARE SIDING WITH DECEPTION AND UNTRUTH.
They seek only to undermine those that have been victimized who now wish to gain revenge. They want to make sure you cant get it.
As he got up, I had forced him to seek getting off at the next stop- I said " you'll get yours for doin this kind of shit.." As he got off he just waved his hand and made this face like 'yeah right'...I have seen this before - an MBTA employee did this once, after I had posted something pertaining to all the union f*cks who helped bring me down initially in 2004,5,6.
Yet, the bastard got off the train didnt he...always get then when they are alone. And usually with me they have always many against me alone, either a small gang of women or a bigger group men. They serve as psychological harassment groups.
This reaction may indeed be becuz he is in on it and it is his function to be a jerk to a target, but it is the unfortunate result of the validation of police and criminal alike. These are the sort of men who worship more powerful men much moreso than any woman.
They are the ultimate mental slave in our society and they are of great use to the system against any freedom fighter..they live for validation from daddy and bigger brother.
Men are weak in these areas and the greatest hinderance due to this fact. Women will go along but always there is a bit of 'I know what they are doing is wrong and as a woman I must go along but dont condone it' in the eyes. Some men give this also.....in general every asshh*le who thinks they are part of society yet still is insecure about their part will be in on the hunt of a female who is way past the losing point or beaten down. Its easy for them becuz it isnt hard to poke a dead lion with a stick and feel like you are actually brave. Especially when the harder stuff has done the dirty work for you and has declared the kill safe.
These people are cowards..TI's keep saying that. But if there are enough of them, like hyenas after a kill, they are damaging to an already wounded target.
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The perps like to get one when already down; the insult after injury games. Not to mention the misogynistic behaviors of putting down women. I don't envy you, and I hope you can get some better shelter somewhere soon.
ReplyDeleteAJH
its an intrical part of my behavior modification as well. I have been told I am stubborn and not falling into line becuz I was raised by all women, thus do not react the way normal women would. Mirrored by a perp in person in St. Louis, MO. My other female family members are much more afraid of male authority and will obey corruption moreso becuz of this.
ReplyDeleteThey figure if enuff males beat me down long enuff, I will 'know my place' eventually.
part of this is also constant attempts to get me a handler. Men in the homeless scene especially who know my situation even partially most likely percieve that I am the rich white mans table scraps, and now its thier turn. This will never change as long as I am fairly fit and under 45. They simultaneously feel that they can still serve thier masters (the system run by more dominant males in power) and get something for themselves. The conflict arises when I insist that my identity is denfined by ME as MYSelf and a seperate human being, as well as that I am more 'man' than they are alot of the time for the circumstances I am in. Neither one of these wants to be acknopwledged by them or they system. In this way, a victim witness/dissedent/activist/warrior can be reduced to a toy-like object and easily managed.
WIth the help of the mass of course..do not take this seriously...I do not. Ever. It is more smoke and mirrors...the more pressure they use the more I can only assume I am getting close to succeeding..remember an enemy will use whatever they can against you to trap, block, destroy, control, beat down or otherwise win the game. In the war or the battle..do not take this personally. Every war is able to be won. One must only be dedicated to only winning.
At 37 i know this by now..this is also a threat..men in USA in general do not like women of this age coming into power, especially if they are not controlled by the male dominated system. Of course being TI we are represented as anything BUT TI's. I have run the gammet from everything u can imagine as a label or a perception..the public is useful in this psy op game..perception management. Everyones insecurites are pandered to and used against the target...rich hates poor, younger people dislike older people, women or jeolous, men are threatened, poor are evious of another poor person who will not be subjegated by corrupt authority....in the end they are all sheep, and are supporting an abusive corrupt authority figure...alot of the public dont know they are supporting crime, pedophile rings, money launering, cover ups in general..they simly, like sheep being herded and safe, want to beleive that this is just a game.
The TI knows better...anyone who is wise in the ways of our world wud beg to ask "why is it so important to target this person" and they would know that it is more than a mere game..or fun, or gossip.
If they ever knew how much WE know, or how hard we fight and for what causes, they would be forced to drop to thier knees and beg our forgiveness. This is a country where they only thank their soldiers becuz they are told to...we have seen this in Vientnam. If they warrior is misrepresented by the Establishement then the public will treat them accordingly..and throw them in the trash where the social engineers at the top want them.
So, thank you for your sympathies about my situation, but the public are never to be taken seriously. Our war is directly with corrupt authority and in order to keep focus one must always see the public for what they are...a mindless extension of corruption. They do not decide...they only act. Out of compliance, fear, intimidation, conformity, coercion....conveneince.
In all our battles they must be mentally cut out of the picture...they are like inanimate land mines in our way daily. THey exist, they are a danger to our mental proceses and well being, they definelty get in the way of justice and our 'mission' but they themselves are but mostly uninformed tools or the true engineers of war.
So, if I started feeling as bad for myself as you do and everyone else does, I would cave in to pressure...I cannot do that. If the public knew our all TI's circumstances and real stories, there would be such public outcry...that the few who know what they are doing who go along to be opportunists would be forced by public pressure to cease and dissist.
This is why the gang stalking system is so dependent on secrecy and covert activity and activ e denial.
All TI's should be envied AJH, becuz we know, we see and we fight when others fall to pressure by corrupt forces. In fact AJH I want you and every other TI to fall in love with themselves right now. You are the greatest person in the world.
You fight odds as well as conditions that avergae humans wud not be able to even comrehend, much less engage in war, then you end up not giving up...we have staying power.
Let it bleed and let them keep banging thier heads against the wall.
We are indominable..all that serves them is the compliance of a ill informed public.
In short 'Fuck em'...I have posted on the if u will the dynamics of this war..and I illustrated that the faction or demographic of the four groups constists of people who serve as diversion from the real enemy, wether to thier knowledge or not.
I have stated that they serve as water around the jagged rocks...they surround us daily, serving to slow our progress or drown us...they are never as dangerous overtly so, as the obvious threats. BUt over time these ignorant shills of the real enemy who knows the full extent of what is transpiring, serves to wear us down.
Dont let this happen.
If they aint perp, and they aint target, then theys in the way.
Set your internal systems to disregard these 'objects' on the virtual battlefield.
If u get desperate...try this. Look at all this as a video game. Younger peoples counscousness is already trained to be partially in this mode already, due to their exposure to video games.
This is why they are so heartless and trained...they get exposed to what was basicallly used by the military as combat training mecahnisms. In the 80s Russia complianed the USA was training its population to be comabat ready with such devices.
However if you take this into account, then it makes younger people unable to reason as quickly, to think in terms of the primitive, or to understand anything..natural as easily..this can be used to your advnatage every time. Plus, they arent old enough to know thier own motives for doing stuff..thier toys. Ignore them.
Unless they can assist.
Just the same for men, as you mentioned. Take in all stats of every enemy or possible annoyance daily. Age, race, class, marriage status, history, inner character, monetary value...and you will just be gauging be able to suss out the potential threats just be lookin em, if u r perceptive.
This is why the mind games and the freak outs are so useful to them.. it is diversion from being able to figure out who, exactly you are dealing with at the moment of engagement.
Lately, I have been being harassed moreso once again. THis can only mean that I have somehow shown that I am doing something or am going to do something that equals exposure. ITs all they are afraid of...nothing else.
Its either win or die AJH, and every person who seems to pick on a TI doesnt always know the extent of the war..all they know is..lets say we have the true advantage in the intel department. Only a few people at the top as well as we, know all that is transpiring in realation to our situations...I dont think the public knows all that we as Targets have been thru, or what we have suffered.
They're asleep...and they desperately want to stay that way.
They will side with whoever provides releif..that is not us, that is the corrupt authority figure.
These people then are always going to be our natural enemies..like I said, since they dont know everything they are unimportant in the end.
Like flies that annoy us daily...that is all.
But as usual, I thank you for your support and need another TI who knows all that goes on, to write me. Thank you for the tea and sympathy..from the outside world I only gain cold comfort.
Screw em..and thier ignorance which really just =greed.Prevelant nowadays, woulndt you say? Per my Walmart trampling post...I know I sound bitter, but as a target I have had enuff, and as I look at the world around me I see that the public will do anything to satisfy themselves.
I am pretty much done with caring about them in general...let them destroy each other.. they have, at this point brought it on themselves. Notice how they only target people who would be the ones to stand up against all the crap that is going on??I am making a little negotiation with the corrupt abusive authority figure..I say let them have the masses for whatever they want them for.
Only those who understand what is happening and who sympathize with TI's do I care for at all anymore. And, perhaps the totally innocent.
But those who are sneaky, lazy, greedy, and just playing the game..can rot. And be destroyed with the rest of the population.
Sorry, I am done.
I forgot to add that todays youth..maybe its me, becuz I am older now..but they seem so ..unaware or maybe youth is just like that. I know I was unaware.
ReplyDeleteBut there is something creepy about them..like they are these little ready made spies and provacetures.
From my experience this might just be the generations 'programming' which as a group they wouldnt percive anway. For life in that departement.
Or, they have grown up with terrorist threats and are so brainwashed at a young age to beleive that anything that is labeled as such is what the authority says it is..we must remember, these are not people who saw the last of the '60s like Gen X. They consider my generations ways..old, outdated, passe. Gen X's silent wisdom is seen by so few over the decades that I would not expect them to see it. Hell, our own parents called us slackers...let everyone keep on 'not getting it'. For all we know, to go out on a limb here, it could be stuff that they put in the innoculations when they're babies. Jenny Mcarthy's kid was made very sick by this and other people wont even let their kids take these shots.
They arent stupid...what if it was a combo of tech mc, chemical influence, peer pressure, coercion by authority, pressure to conform to survive or even succeed nowdays.
I cant say I understand what it is like to be 20 or 25 nowadays.
Their world must be so vastly different than what ours was.
Think of it. Born and babied in the late 80's...I cant imagine it.
THey must think grunge is trite.
I have been removed from the world for so long I havent been versed in thier reality.
To them, people like me are just silly old ladies.
Where they got the taste for harasssing people who they dont know..well, Jackass, reality TV, and they dont even understand the concept of privacy.
They are the NWO.
And I think they regard anyone who is too private as suspect.
Its a mess..they seem like good kids on the outside, but there is a lacking. A lacking in reasoning, in indepencence...there is a flattness to them. A severe problem with trust and also, emotional freedom.
These are not the young people that are typical of what I grew up with and I do not see a return to freedom anytime soon.
Unless there is a backlash against the fusing of tech with human concousness..yeah, good luck with that one.
I cannot see our soceity using tech in moderation.
I see the enslavement of mankind and since its intergenerational and over decades..there will be no complaints. It will appear 'normal'. As a 'normal' evolution of man.