TRANSLATOR

Indigo Awareness Ribbon

Indigo Awareness Ribbon

Blog DISCLAIMERS

Please be advised that this written work is theory. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. For legal reasons I state that I have no actual belief in these theories as fact, if I did I would have sought legal recourse. Until that occurs this blog can only be considered theory. If it does then any and all actions PAST AND FUTURE that have been taken against me during the years producing this work will be labeled war crimes under international law and any other legal protections that apply.
I am a writer, an activist and artist. I claim my RIGHT TO EXIST legally under US Constitution and international law.

This is an educational blog for awareness as well as sometimes a telling of candid personal experiences to demonstrate theories as they might be experienced by a person who theoretically is existing under such conditions. Thus the 'candid' expression, poetic license and marketing myself as product or character. This is NOT a journal or diary.
Being a reasonable person of sound mind if I had concerns for my safety or others I would take responsible action for self care as my established medical history can demonstrate.
Any actions taken against me by others questioning my sanity or competence based on my produced work will be construed as activist/dissident intimidation and whistle blower retaliation and proper legal action will be taken against you by my family and support system.

Be warned that no further interference with my production of meaningful work as an artist and activist will be tolerated.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The FBI interesting comment

We have all made that phone call...some of us were informed so the results were not so devastating. FBI Michigan: "I've never had a phone call like this before." R as anonymous: " Do you deal with gang stalking ?" FBI MI: "Well, who are you being stalked by?" anon R: "Its not me I am calling for." the person gets it I am clever. There is a change of tone, more sympathetic only by a hair. There is a simple back and forth..I then ask finally "So you don't deal with organized stalking?" FBI MI: "Nope". I recall in the conversation that the nope at the end had a bit of 'listen we cant help you' in it..and some fear.

Some time ago I was watching C-span. There was a hearing or a presentation with a governing body..I cannot recall and am very ignorant when it comes to the set up of government. Anyway the head or a high up in the FBI was there talking about terrorism related issues. He said that today there are alot of people alone, having there own private wars with the government or the world. Thats right it was on internet safety becuz he also said that the FBI wanted to make sure that these people did not get together on the internet and create groups that way.

Why would people feel that way? One has to ask why. Why would someone be having his or her own private war. Sounds like people feel powerless and helpless in the face of authority with no appeals and recourse. Hmph.

Here is what I beleive is the thing I viewed. http://www.infowars.net/articles/november2007/131107terror.htm

Economic sanctions/blacklisting

http://writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/50s/schrecker-blacklist.html

hsi-nao

“hsi-nao,” meaning, roughly, “cleansing of the mind.”
http://64.233.169.104/search?q=cache:kyfQ_UaGCAwJ:www.religionnewsblog.com/8107/how-brainwashing-came-to-life-and-thrived+george+romney+mind+control&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us

What is most annoying as usual about this issue..rather these issues is that with all the corruption all of us who can show cause or at least enough to doubt, we like all human experimentees throughout history are still referred to as "the nutters"..

Gee, that sounds like it was put out there by a real investigative pro.
What people don't know about they simply judge. It's illogical and unreasonable. Why then?Either they are mind controlled by classic social control methods mentioned in this article, no tech needed or they secretly enjoy siding with the classic slave owner mentality that has never gone away. 'We are with you, Massa, and like good little house slaves we will support u till the end' or worse people are caught up in the idea that they actually share abusive authorities power by supporting them in anything they do. (http://209.85.173.104/search?q=cache:E37BGVqnjx4J:www.americanrhetoric.com/) **some things about Malcolm X's speech may be offensive to some people. However this is a good reference to show just how people have been treated in the past and how people are still treated.**

People get to feel better about themselves, connected to something so powerful that it could do so much illegal like enslaving human beings and ignoring human rights in THIS day and age.
All they have to do is join in antagonizing the victim and/or ignoring the victim's claims.I believe there are people in the population who are rotten enough to get a perverse sense of joy by joining in on enslaving humans.
The feeling that you also share the house on the hill becuz people are being sacrificed for you, the public, via human experimentation or enslavement is irresistible. Every time someone smiles at me to minimize how my life was ruined this is what they are expressing about themselves.

There is a tactic that is used where perps pretend that they are teaching you how to be an activist. This is the real reason for ruining your life they would like you to believe. I have heard "..before someone becomes an activist they must be made into a nice person" and from an alleged activist in St. Louis to another "..we give ____ a hard time and harss him to see how much he can take". Thinking I will buy into any of this must be 'cuz another perp from a group actually claimed I had a "slave mentality"..gee, I wonder why.

They will come up with anything to validate the abuse and minimize what they have done and will continue to do.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Lahey clinic

Why did I go to the same place that my grandmother had been going to for years, also after her complaining in recent years that the service there was not like it used to be.
Becuz I am a desperate woman with a tooth extraction needed..that's why.

This tooth has been bad for years..I am so afraid of people messing with my teeth(don't know why) that I have just blocked it out for years. Now it is infected and has been since St. Louis. I have been taking many courses of antibiotics for months now. Becuz St. Louis was SO scary with how violent they were willing to be in targeting me I decided it best to keep differing the semi knock out and pulling. So I kept getting antibiotics and just froze up about the pulling.

Also I realized my insurance was only covered in MA so I came home to get it pulled.
Long time to find dentist that does semi sedation extraction. Bad references for research from insurance (big surprise) so it took longer. Went to a few places, tried to do it without sedation
but becuz of past trauma of the harassment I just cant do it. I know I no longer have the nerves intact for that sort of procedure and at this point with the abuse I have endured it would be like a scene from movie Marathon Man.
Besides the feeling of a set of pliers on your tooth is unacceptable. Its not an experience that I want to have in the files. Great more PTSD material.
And someone told me that the dentist telling me that it would take a half hour was weird..like it isnt supposed ot take that long usually.Finally after the BU dental perp show I decided to go to Lahey.

So I go there without a companion and they say maybe they can get around the rules. Doc says no, rules say someone must be with you. So I reschedule and have to cancel becuz my friend is a bit unreliable. I leave a message the night before and ask for reschedule phone call.Call never comes the side of me that likes to avoid the subject goes comfy again and I live on another run of antibiotics. It gets bad and the infection is now up my face and further up the jaw bone even with antibiotics so I call today. They strangely answer..they made a big deal over the phone message they claim never came thru. "we'll check our phone records". Then a nurse calls me back and says that becuz of two no shows the doc wont reschedule anymore. They had taken the first appointment out of existence so my insurance doesnt get charged. At least if it had for SOME sort of service then it would show that I did come in for the appointment.
Scared and just tired of this whole gangstalking lifestyle I called and told the receptionist that they should have charged my insurance, I did show up and I need this thing pulled and...just everything. I think I even said I was workplace mobbing target and that was enough stress already and the trauma from all that on top of the fear with the tooth...It was a rather long tirade..

..what amazes me is that my mother has always been a person who is very afraid of hospitals and doctors and she seems to get coddled by everyone. They send in anesthesiologists that work with children to deal with her becuz she is such a mess with hospitals. Part of my trauma as a TI is that life long my emotional state has always been ignored in relation to the medical field. They have always been mean to me in general and made traumatic things like surgeries even more traumatic.
There were a few docs in the 90's that worked in the few independent places not related or owned by teaching hospitals. once the places got bought out, they left.

Another thing is that as a child if I was scared I was intimidated with "your scaring the other children"..I have had that happen in MI as an adult recently after a nurse kept poking me with a needle in the small veins in my ankles to get an IV in. My arms are fine. It was eerie to me how similar the sentiment was to 32 years early.
This is the way you are treated as person involved in the world of human experimentation and programming. You are purposely traumatized and it is minimized or you the victim are blamed.
Its the same thing as gang stalking. We are the slave class to them. Especially someone programmed as an expendable..the suicide programming would tend to give you a clue on that status huh? (well duh).
And they can get away with it by claiming you are paranoid and people do not want to help you becuz they need their medical people to be heroes and to tend them, just like they need their police and fire to rescue them and unions to provide service for them. This is why Whoever uses these professions to keep thier own sense of societal order and hierarchy in place. The public might know about experimentation or slavery of peoples but how can they argue with the very people that keep thier world safe and running. To them, the sacrifices are worth it.

I was hoping for the secretary to say 'gee you have really had a hard time and you sound upset' and work something out...but no. I wish for too much. Immediately it was "FIRST of all..." something about me screaming at her. I was a bit above normal but if you knew my deep booming voice--if I was screaming at you you would know it. Then she said "you did not let me get a word in.." Yeah, I am upset and I am going thru so much trauma in a short amount of time I am losing my mind. I am human after all and I can only take so much..and to be quite honest the tooth issue is so scary to me..
The real reason I am working so hard is inside, subconsciously I have this hope that I can finish what I am working on so that I can commit suicide and take the bad tooth with me. It crosses my mind everyday...it would just be so much easier. Much, much easier.(medical people in eastern MA can always be counted on to treat me this way. In other states they have been kind and treat me like anyone else.)

I have to warn TI's about something with the mc tech. I was 'helped out' last nite by a fly over.
I was so miserable with my face and neck hurting from the tooth that I just kept sitting there like " I just want to go I just want to go" and giving up totally really. Then a fly over that was low came by and I dont know what happened but right after there was a blackout in the building.
At that moment it was the same as in the Radioshack during the last blackout. The infuence of what ever they use on TI's and myself in this case specifically went away..it was lifted off me.
My perceptions concerning my tooth were felt and drawn differently now. I realized that this was serious and the infection had gone too far. I felt the pain as a warning for me to take care of this problem.
WHAT I AM TRYING TO WARN YOU ABOUT IS THAT THE TECH THEY USE SEEMS TO TAKE AWAY PAIN BEING A WAY TO LET YOU KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. IT BECOMES THIS THING THAT IS LESSENED SO YOU CAN IGNORE IT. IT ALSO IS BEING USED I FEEL TO CONTRIBUTE TO MY SUICIDE IDEATION IN THIS MANNER.
I have blogged before that during the targeting hours that things are experienced less painfully.
If they are helping you into your grave with suicide ideation and all the other shit they do then dulling pain seems to make a cocktail where in general you avoid health issues and they contribute then to your overall misery.

I lost it and hung up on secretary...it was disappointing that it was all about her.After how hard I fight everyday to stay alive and let the world know, or at least the TI world what they are doing in this sick system of oppression.
When she dons a fucking S on her chest like me then she can let me f*ckin know until then..
kiss my ass bitch.
She wouldnt last 5 minutes in these battle like TI's do and these weak idiots know it.
As usual fighters do all they can to help the public be free by fighting on some battle field covert or other wise and the silly public, the cowardly civilians sit back in thier little comfort zones and act ever so self important.
Some warriors never get medals my dear..some never even get public acknowledgment. Which is what YOU need to respect anyone isnt it? You need the overlord authority figure telling you who to root for and who to dis.

HOWEVER-I must look at the source. This is a place my family members have frequented and I believe the targeting is intergenerational.
Also an older lady who I spotted right away as the nosy 'in on the targeting' type who has hovered around my family for years..she piped up a few months ago at Lahey and thought I was stupid like the rest of my mothers family -she goes "oh, I know a dentist who deals with tooth extraction" she mentions my grandmothers dentist up the street in Burlington near Lahey. I couldnt resist so I innocently replied "but that is my grandmothers dentist....I dont speak to them anymore".
The people of MA especially the old school ones who have been keeping my family in line for years with this b*llshit system actually believe I am as gullible as my mother's family...or as dumb as my fathers. I feel I keep getting judged by these standards.

Something tells me fellow TI's, that thier way of doing things is on its way out.
Why else would there be so may of us fighting now if not? Why are so many of us aware of our situations? The system we are fighting is very old. But they are getting greedy and sloppy.

Perhaps the self righteous a-holes like that idiot old woman can take some things in my families past and use them to judge us intergenerationally.
Now you realize that personal family hardships are nothing compared to the horrors of human experimentation that you are advocating by helping victimize the Target. Is programming and/or trafficking of children a fun fave of yours as well?

I beleive I understand now. We dont care about TI's becuz they come from horrible families and if anyone is expendable enough to do experimentation on its them.
No care for the value of someones talent or intel or that they could make great contributions to society.
These people are full of shit beyond belief.
What they want is a slave class of people to deem expendable so THE MONSTERS AT THE TOP WHO USE AND ABUSE HUMAN BEINGS DON'T COME AFTER THEIR CHILDREN.

This is why if you are programmed you may secretly side with the elite at times or at least have sympathy. I never hated George Bush Jr. like everyone else becuz its obvious to me thats the game him and his people are playing. He is the target so you dont really focus on who is really horror showing for real. I dont like being manipulated like I am stupid. To be quite honest the elites values...I dont know. Most people are just such cowards, and they are so stupid. If the people wont fight and claw to get the authority figure to do the right things then how can you blame them for taking advantage?
However in this instance the odds are just too damn unfair. With the mc tech and the way its been played out its out of the public's league.
Those of us who see should say something..even for an ungrateful and aggressive public.
Think of them as dogs who have been wounded so they nip at you as you want to see the wound to fix it. They simply do not know any better.
And alot of these people do NOT think outside the little box they were raised in. To them , especially here in MA trash is to be abused and used and that is your silent status in the old New England model. My ex landlady-the sociopath claimed that the crazy across the hall who could not keep off drugs or out of jail for ripping off old ladies purses simply "came from a good family but got on the drugs and couldn't stop" and was allowed to run wild in building for years and here I am trying to go to school etc and I get targeted.
If she is from a good family why is she on drugs?
People hate critical thinking..use it as much as possible.
So people from 'good families' get away with anything (it helps when you r a rat for Brighton police as well) and people from such trash get Targeted for life.
There is a slave system in place and the system blackmails and bribes people out of their freedom, their children and their lives to serve others much more powerful and corrupt than they could ever be capable of being. Yet the outward appearance is there are good families and then there are bad families....
NO- there is corruption, blackmail, drug running money laundering, human trafficking and abuse of human rights being covered up by perceptions that belong back 30 years ago. Nobody believes this nonsense except the people it serves.

Sigh...lets hope I get lucky with a oral surgeon...and DONT wake up after the procedure a vegetable or some other nightmare.

[Also I will never kill myself so do not try to have some accident happen and say well her blog says she was..dont even think about it ..i am far too vengeful to knock off just yet. Some debts are still owed dont you know.]

Another University I use frequently finds a way out of public computer use

Well not a way out but very limiting.

This is at BU and I must say that I was told that this decision was talked about for years but it just now had been taken into action.
13 or so computers for public use were either physically moved-all were made to be only accessible by BU students.
The reference lady also said that it'll be this way "for a while".

I am sure that the people at the top levels as usual know I am going over my video and blogging all day working on exposing corruption..becuz I have been targeted here a few times.

As usual all the library staff know is that "people shouldnt sit here all day"..see how perception management works if you work it in your favor? The librarian was not saying it directly to me or as a tactic. I interjected that I am one of the people that sits here all day on occasion and especially lately but I do that becuz I know the students are not here especially. She then realized it wasnt as much of an issue then.
I am working hard becuz know they will be back soon and I wont have as much time.

Lately I have been looking a bit rough due to the workload. I look ok but I dont wash what I do have for clothes but twice a week. I have brought a blanket in becuz the ac gets pretty cold in here after a few hours. (but its a little, white fluffy Nautica a Japanese girl gave me along with some tea! Its a nice blanket and I look good in it, damn it.)

This happens every place I go across the country anyway. If I spend too long in one university library they always change thier policies after a few months to make it so public access is limited.
Some places have claimed they were thinking about it for a while and some say the decision was just made. I would be curious to see if 'a while' means after they are good and sure Rach has left the area. Wanna bet?

I am just so tired I dont even know if there are outsider artist type places with resources for me to use.
We all know that this is part of the censorship, the quiet war on people who know what is going on in this country and the abuses of human rights.
What is always of interest to me time and again is that no one who knows my situation and what has been done to me that has ruined my life-comes out and says to some key staff person 'oh she's okay, she travels and she's had a hard time. Supposedly she is writng a book or something and she will be gone soon-give her a break. Besides the students arent here yet anyway'.(BU library)
That is what would have been done in the old days with someone who was a victim of unspeakable corruption. But now, people are so swayed and intimidated into the totalitarian way of thinking that they dont realize they have become part of the problem.

aside:[Everytime I get on the computer here lately I keep getting this psychic impression, alot, that someone somewhere thinks that I should be working or worring about supporting myself and my future not doing whatever I am doing everyday.
This is all part of the general sentiment towards me-forget what happened and get a job.]
The system that is in place now in the USA perhaps the world I dont know, demands that u abandon truth and replace it with what they want you to beleive that benefits the power structure.

Back to the point with the library...why dont they just limit peoples time to like two hours or so or maybe work with people who may be working on something not just surfing?
It would make more sense.
I WAS TOLD BY A LIBRARY PATRON THAT THE REASON THAT THEY HAVE COMPUTERS FOR PUBLIC USE IS DUE TO THE FACT THEY ARE GIVEN FEDERAL FUNDS TO TO SO.
THE PERSON TO REGISTER COMPLAINT WITH ACCORDING TO THE REFERNCE PERSON IS casserly@bu.edu

this era is like some sort of cold war with the public...thank god people still talk to each other.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Workplace bullying-why better descriptions?

http://www.worktrauma.org/change/bullying.htm

I notice that there is a no 'you're crazy' attitude in reference to workplace bullying as opposed to gang stalking.
I notice that what we call "professional gang stalkers" they call "Serial Corporate Killers".
Yet a TI is always left with that familiar feeling, a mental one that maybe this really does not exist.

The only difference is that gang stalkers get to do more stuff that is deceptive and crazy. They do it in the outside world.

The much more detailed descriptions read as definitely more confident. It is officially recognized and no shrinks or assholes are invalidating people that this does not exist and they are crazy.

The guy in the infamous TI video, the typical skinny loser dressed in military fatigues with something to prove: that is definitely an example of "aggressive posturing".

The terminology is more streamlined and sounds more sensible..like the victim is more confident.

That's becuz they probably didn't have their house entered, the cops and half the nation in on it, and betrayed/sold out by thier friends and relatives.
They dont have to deal with sitting at the copy machine and getting gassed out of a vent.
Nor picking up thier capsules from the pharmacy and the clerk looking down as they hand them the bag like "please don't take these"(most people don't become medical hate people u know).

Are they dealing with mc tech?
Do they find themselves paralyzed as they are sitting ,stimulated and being told internally that "only men run the world" and "u r nothing...remember that." Over and over again?

Did this start out with co workers flash mobbing them?
Were they told in the caf that it was an investigation and it will all blow over once they find out who REALLY stole that stapler!..?

I am sorry but I am just a bit jealous. I wish I could end these problems when I go outside or enter my home.

They even get a term to decribe the effects: Work Trauma! It describes what Targets go thru all day long:
"The effects on victims-
Work Trauma has a devastating effect on the victims' productivity, emotional and physical health. The victims waste, according to research, between 10 and 52 per cent of their time at work defending themselves and networking for support, thinking about the situation, being demotivated and stressed, let alone absences due to stress-related illnesses.
More often than not, victims blame themselves and doubt their own self-worth. They feel shame and guilt and replay incidents over and over in their minds, wondering if they could have done anything differently. They are anxious and troubled. In the severe cases, victims suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). "

Well, I hope this is helpful becuz its all we are going to get. Just do what u usually do as a TI and just transfer it over to your situation as a gang stalking target.

Maybe show this to someone the next time they ask what its all about.

Gruesome story..possibly MC related

The thing that is most sadistic about stories like this is not what the man did..humans have been bloodyminded and conducted war as far back as our history can recall-its the fact that always in these stories there is the inevitable 'fuck you' to TI's and other people who know what is going on with mind control, trauma based and other wise.
As I read this I just waited for some comment from a supposed random passenger; something that would indicate how 'unusual' the circumstances were.

Sure enough it was the good old ' he was just like a robot, no rage or anything' comment.
http://www.thestar.com/article/470913

(And who the hell thinks some 6' guy with a shaved head, a black tee and sunglasses on in the dark is not sinister?! That is a whole other issue. Years ago that would have registered as dangerous.)

I feel I have enough experience as a TI of org stalk and tech as well as a tbmc survivor to speak on this incident. I have done what research I can and I have personal experience as well.

I can attest from my experiences that Greyhound buses at least in the USA are heavily infultrated by the organized stalking system as well as a few experiences in the midwest that were more horrible than anything I'd experienced in the northeast.

Either this guy was a programmed person who was on a mission to kill this other passenger for reasons unknown to us or he was someone who may have been targeted for deletion. He may have snapped and gone after just anyone. Worse case would be that there were perps on that very bus and he just lost it..or he had been messed with prior and had slipped into kill mode.

( in programming there is a point you cross when killing someone is now necesarry to survival of you the machine and/or the mission. This 'area' is in the heart region, it 'feels' like, and when mentally the 'line' is crossed and you go into that mode, you feel u r entering a region of the heart that is black-totally without feeling. Killing may be performed without any emotion becuz now it is simply to rid yourself of anyone who is truly in the way of 'the mission'. There is no connection to self. It is the performance of a necessary act-that's all.
This part of programming can be phased out eventually with age and self examination, self love, love of others...this is what they set you up with in the beginning when they claim u r dangerous..afterwards the network will do all it can to try to provoke u so they can get rid of you. Deprogramming females seem alot more capable of resisting and learning to depend on other parts of programming to 'take care' of any one in the way of what they are working on.
This is why people who may be programmed while they kill would seem 'robotic'.

This guy could have been fully functional and simply given the right commands.
Or he could have been provoked into kill mode by the gangstalking networks as to go after someone becuz he is obsolete or whatever else.)
This man is also the right age to be from a common generation of allegedly programmed children with similar abilities. ( Forty years old..1968).

Who knows what his motives may have been.
It may have been an assignment or he targeted this guy for his own reasons. I notice there was a call for better, airport like security after the incident.

What the perps get away with on those buses is lawless. Drivers and passengers. I think cameras would be a good idea, but it would also make it easier to harass TI's.

I have learned however that the people who work for these groups fear being caught in the act and even though security personell are invovled as well as drivers, if there are cameras and alternate security personell to the perps the gang stalkers are more careful and CAN BE THREATENED WITH THE VERY SECURITY SYSTEM THAT THEY HAVE PLANTS IN.

If you are going to catch a programmed killer before the fact is yet to be seen.
Personally Greyhound needs to have more accountability with passengers and drivers. The most harassment I have ever encountered has been on Greyhound busses. On occasion the entire bus were perps right from the bustation.

A dangerous programmer and alleged serial killer of children once tried to access me on a Greyhound and was using some music programmed into his cell phone when I woke up out of it and he got 'interrupted'. If there were cameras he might not have dared show his face or attempt that.
I now realize that in order to balance out the abuses of power right now in this country there HAS to be cameras. I know they suck, they are psychically disturbing and intrusive. They seem to provide the perps with info and god forbid entertainment if you are being harassed on sec cam or street cam and someone accesses it for that purpose.
IN MY EXPERIENCE THESE GANGS CAN DO WORSE THINGS TO YOU WITHOUT THE CAMERAS THERE.

You need a video camera and voice recorder at all times. You need to make sure they do not steal them when u doze off. Perp authority figures will encounter u to sour u on all authority figures. YOU MUST LEARN how to quickly define the next cop or security personell who could be for real and helpful from the 'bad guy' u just encountered.

The less cameras, the more infiltrated security personell will misbehave and the more dense with perps in population. The more severe the crimes will be on TI's.

Perhaps this is all to get us to be comfortable with a constant security presence and a bit of healthy daily harassment leading to a world of conformity etc.
This would explain why these gangs are not readily stopped or investigated. After dealing with them you'll gladly do whatever to minimize the harassment.

Or in this case, the Jason takes Greyhound type violence.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

'gangstalking' in politics/Frame up for trauma based mind control survivors

'Gang stalking' is much nastier than everyone thinks.

An example is the man who is suspected of murdering that former spy/Kremlin critic in London.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2007-09-16-lugovoi_N.htm

I recall a story on tv. It was British so of course viewers get treated more like adults in thier ability to comprehend.
It said that he wanted to be more visible and seek public office and intimated that he was doing so due to activity we TI's have dubbed 'gang stalking'. I have often heard from other TI's who are more seasoned that running for office of mayor is a good move becuz it puts the Target out in the public eye and "let's the people make up their own minds about the person".

What was more interesting was a man from the Kremlin they showed sitting in a chair as he commented on the situation. He had his hands intertwined and in front of him high up leaning on elbows. 'I am hiding and I have the power' sort of body language.
Arrogant but insecure (who could be secure in a world such as this were it seems everyone is expendable?)
With a muted, perverse joy he spoke of how this man who is the main suspect in the London murder must live under the gun- for if he is not guilty then he would be forced to say who IS...
it was so obviously the same game that alot of us TI's are in.
We are made the focus of attention and we suffer yet we face greater peril at naming those truly guilty of crimes.

Its a prison you can never get out of.

I have noticed also that Putin says that the dead spy 'said everything negative he could about his service so he had nothing new to say' . I am taking that to mean that he exposed all the info he could and once he did they got rid of him becuz nothing he said was all that incriminating and he was ineffective and worst of all they found out everything he knew so they could neutralize any threat from the info.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article1312871.ece
"Mr Putin said: 'He got a three-year suspended sentence and there was no need for him to flee. He had said all the negative things he could say about his service, so there could not be anything new in his actions.' "

I have heard from other tbmc survivors that a certain agency wants to know all that the survivor knows so that they can erase files or thier connection to those activities.

Really, its a way of erasing the person as well all info that they have. A lifetime that doesn't matter or exist.

But I want the family of the poisoned man to know something. Even though no one believes alot of mind control survivors stories there is something going on with the trafficking of children and the programming of people for use in all sorts of capacities.
We do not imagine the stalking and harassment. We do not imagine strangers knowing way too much about us or that we are treated like mindless toys our whole lives. The whole thing is creepy and a living hell.
True insanity would be much, much easier.

I want you to know that there was something in that man's death. When he died it was like a signal was given out. A warning: the system is getting rid of people ...and its the beginning of something awful: Its On.
I will leave it at that.

I dont know what the real story is or who really poisoned him or for what motive..as usual the circumstances are not important. Its the same old story anyway.

Remember no matter what the outside world does, programmed people have a link with each other. Like we are really each others only true family. We can sympathize with the abuse, being treated like a work horse your whole life and the having all of it stay in the shadows forever. No one knows no one cares and the men who play the chess games seem to never have to lose except to each other..even then you suspect they go off together as friends in private.

I have heard and read that a common set up to get rid of tbmc survivors that the system is trying to liquidate is of course to get you labeled, often when you haven't acted out at all and before you realize you are being set up and gang stalked.
Another common but more complex game is to set up the survivor and get them to become rats or witnesses, then when they are killed in supposed retaliation-its a familiar story. One that the public can digest readily and no one is the wiser.
I feel this is what was done to me and it was done so sloppily that it was obvious.
Why would I be "running from the FBI?" I was never subpoenaed. Nor was I questioned.
I was told by an alleged Target who acted like a perp in the end, to make a video tape as a witness. Of course this is when I still was just taking it all in and didn't react to people knowing my situation when they should know nothing about me at all.

The system treats you like property and your right to privacy is a joke to them.

If you are 'gangstalked' and have unusual circumstances then try to find out what the true motive is. And always beware of traps. They will set them for you to stumble and bumble into. they will set up circumstances and then engineer it so you go the way they desire.

add on to last post

Oh dont get confused..this includes my family's dirty laundry as well. ALL of it. Both sides. ( well i know little of the Cedrone's but what I do know may serve as slightly amusing.

I said EVERYBODY's everything.

I will never forgive the fact my family KNEW what was happening and still helped the system destroy my life. My uncles guilt in his voice on the phone was enough. Wassa matta? Trying to make sure my little cousins car doenst ever blow up again? With the people he used to know, he's lucky thats all that happened.
A mere exagerated claim that I am 'crazy like Danny' from old woman and a fat dicontent like my mother is not enough to quite squelch how obnoxious the sordid details of my story are.

So go fuck yourselves. You took advantage of someone who was a good person and was a mind control victim waking up....you all took full advantage of that. Now the whole system can rot for all I care.
How DARE you put yourselves all of you above me so I am your little sacrificial lamb and you all get to have good lives while I suffer?

A set up for mind control survivors

'Gang stalking' is much nastier than everyone thinks.

An example is the man who is suspected of murdering that former spy/Kremlin critic in London.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2007-09-16-lugovoi_N.htm

I recall a story on tv. It was British so of course viewers get treated more like adults in thier ability to comprehend.
It said that he wanted to be more visible and seek public office and intimated that he was doing so due to activity we TI's have dubbed 'gang stalking'. I have often heard from other TI's who are more seasoned that running for office of mayor is a good move becuz it puts the Target out in the public eye and "let's the people make up their own minds about the person".

What was more interesting was a man from the Kremlin they showed sitting in a chair as he commented on the situation. He had his hands intertwined and in front of him high up leaning on elbows. 'I am hiding and I have the power' sort of body language.
Arrogant but insecure (who could be secure in a world such as this were it seems everyone is expendable?)
With a muted, perverse joy he spoke of how this man who is the main suspect in the London murder must live under the gun- for if he is not guilty then he would be forced to say who IS...
it was so obviously the same game that alot of us TI's are in.
We are made the focus of attention and we suffer yet we face greater peril at naming those truly guilty of crimes.

Its a prison you can never get out of.

I have noticed also that Putin says that the dead spy 'said everything negative he could about his service so he had nothing new to say' . I am taking that to mean that he exposed all the info he could and once he did they got rid of him becuz nothing he said was all that incriminating and he was ineffective and worst of all they found out everything he knew so they could neutralize any threat from the info.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article1312871.ece
"Mr Putin said: 'He got a three-year suspended sentence and there was no need for him to flee. He had said all the negative things he could say about his service, so there could not be anything new in his actions.' "

I have heard from other tbmc survivors that a certain agency wants to know all that the survivor knows so that they can erase files or thier connection to those activities.

Really, its a way of erasing the person as well all info that they have. A lifetime that doesn't matter or exist.

But I want the family of the poisoned man to know something. Even though no one believes alot of mind control survivors stories there is something going on with the trafficking of children and the programming of people for use in all sorts of capacities.
We do not imagine the stalking and harassment. We do not imagine strangers knowing way too much about us or that we are treated like mindless toys our whole lives. The whole thing is creepy and a living hell.
True insanity would be much, much easier.

I want you to know that there was something in that man's death. When he died it was like a signal was given out. A warning: the system is getting rid of people ...and its the beginning of something awful: Its On.
I will leave it at that.

I dont know what the real story is or who really poisoned him or for what motive..as usual the circumstances are not important. Its the same old story anyway.

Remember no matter what the outside world does, programmed people have a link with each other. Like we are really each others only true family. We can sympathize with the abuse, being treated like a work horse your whole life and the having all of it stay in the shadows forever. No one knows no one cares and the men who play the chess games seem to never have to lose except to each other..even then you suspect they go off together as friends in private.

I have heard and read that a common set up to get rid of tbmc survivors that the system is trying to liquidate is of course to get you labeled, often when you haven't acted out at all and before you realize you are being set up and gang stalked.
Another common but more complex game is to set up the survivor and get them to become rats or witnesses, then when they are killed in supposed retaliation-its a familiar story. One that the public can digest readily and no one is the wiser.
I feel this is what was done to me and it was done so sloppily that it was obvious.
Why would I be "running from the FBI?" I was never subpoenaed. Nor was I questioned.
I was told by an alleged Target who acted like a perp in the end, to make a video tape as a witness. Of course this is when I still was just taking it all in and didn't react to people knowing my situation when they should know nothing about me at all.

The system treats you like property and your right to privacy is a joke to them.

If you are 'gangstalked' and have unusual circumstances then try to find out what the true motive is. And always beware of traps. They will set them for you to stumble and bumble into. they will set up circumstances and then engineer it so you go the way they desire.

Police St. Mary's

Police around this country as I have traveled have been involved in repeatedly, without end, trying to set me up with ongoing harassment. Thier biggest ploy was to have men constantly stopping in front of me and opening the car door, with repeated intimations of prostitution for years on end. After a while of repeated harassment I am sure they are hoping that the TI will break and just get in the car one day..that is how bad the harassment was say, in St. Louis. I had the urge to just give in to the repeated attempts, so this sort of activity becomes intimidation and brainwashing.

Now it is the repeated cruising of me by officers in cars. As if I am such a suspicious character. I cannot even start my day without some move that is intimidation within the hour of me walking out the door.

I stopped to sit down and get something in my purse on St. Mary's street near Brookline. A cruiser went by from BPD and I got the 'officer leans over passenger side to look at what you are doing' routine. Then a Brookline cruiser came by a minute later driving the other direction. He was smiling a bit, friendly like...so its bad cop good cop I guess.

Every time I am harassed in an obvious manner as such a client will be outed and all the sordid details of thier private lives as well. These are the wealthy men who pay your salaries...most likely they and their fat bitch madame want me harassed until I am lableled or commit suicide.

Or maybe I got it wrong. Maybe the harassment is a message...for me to go to the FBI or something much higher and less out of reach of Boston's bribing hands and tell everybodies everything. Maybe that's what the harassment is about..do they want me to go public or just to a task force that will at least take a statement?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Holocaust survivors and TIs

I know that we are not being starved or rounded up physically. I understand the Holocaust crimes were much more overt and physical in nature.

http://news.ncmonline.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=52fd2ae3128d761fa5c3aa401e968081

The thing I notice about this article is the similarities in psychological damage that victims of organized stalking have when compared to Holocost victims.

In a quiet way, they do 'kill' family members and as well we have to deal with them living on physically knowing they betrayed us. Dealing with people in uniform has become horrid for alot of TI's becuz its never clear whether you'll be harassed or not. And alot of the uniformed members know of the others activites even though theymay not engage this is also stressful.

Likewise for us there is no privacy.

"Holocaust survivors, who felt so deprived, often cannot adjust to living with a roommate, whom they may believe is plotting against them or stealing their possessions.
Some are very distrustful."

Targets also have to become distrustful for the same motives.

I know no one beleives us about the sprayings and the gassings. But the fear is always going to be there.

Fear of retaliation of complaint.

I notice the timing of intensifying targeting or newly targeting people is convenient. If the organized stalking system had pulled this 20 years ago the survivors of the Holaust might have recognized it for what it was and had something to say about it or supported TI's and thier claims.
THESE BASTARDS MADE SURE THAT THE ONLY LIVING WITNESSES TO A FULL SCALE VERSION OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING ARE TOO OLD TO HELP CURRENT VICTIMS OF CRIMES WITH SIMILARITIES.

And whatever is not done to targets overtly is now pulled of covertly via tech and chemicals.

And no one is taking this seriously and everyone is either ignorant or playing ignorant.

Then again....I heard a story about a criminal in NY on the show "Masterminds".
In the clothing district. He started as a janitor and worked up to getting his own shop via lone sharking outside the mobs pocket.(work w/ but not part of). He had a brilliant plan to steal clothing from other shops, he only went high end and only took a few dresses off each rack. They would get out before the cops answered the alarm so it seemed like a false alarm. This went on for years and no one ever took notice becuz among the high number of items he only stole a few from each rack. He got busted only becuz of drug addiction and sloppiness ensued. whydou a holes think i know stuff when i dont? why arent you harassing mny mother who claims to have dealt with the synadacate? why arent you bustein julie? why arent you busting jakes newtioon connections? why arent uyou busting my dads family that calims some guy works for them who sorkes for kennedy? that theyare mafia? why does this always revovle arounf me? why is the boston fbi still hiding evidence for a 911 coverup?

Its the same system for TI's. If the system destroyed a mass of people it would be noted. But who cares about ONE person in this town and a FEW PEOPLE in this neightborhood of that city?
No one notices for the same reason. The numbers of humans being destroyed is most likely negotiable to the total population.
This is also society's little box they can stand on and use a the typical arrogant rationale we have all become used to : 'You're just one person, this does not exist and really- its not hurting you.'

Ensuring memory loss-get diagnosed w/PTSD and then gangstalked

I knew the cortisol issue and the adrenal burn out for women of 30 and up. I knew that the org stalk was being intensified at just the right age to take away from me what I had left to build a life that would be wonderful in my 30's.

But I also knew for certain, after I was discouraged from seeking a hypnotist becuz "that would bring up much memory for you" by a psychologist in 2005. I was deprogramming and recovering memories all on my own. I swear it was from the mold exposure, it seemed to make compartments start leaking memories. I was putting things together.

How do you ensure that no more memories come thru...that the leaks stop? Destroy the persons mind as much as possible.
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6TBX-4FXWWY7-1&_user=489277&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=489277&md5=cdc4360a591a6359ebd413f49f7068e2

I had an idea that this was one of the main reasons for constant daily stress. And all TI's have noted a campaign to up stress levels via classical conditioning/sensitizing and noise campaigns.
It really seems like the whole process is not only a mind wipe effect but a wipe of the person completely....this is why in so many TI's video's you see people who look docile and lacking in aggression, it also serves the system for us to not be believed.
When you are repeatedly stressed from abuse and no one seems to notice or care then that's invalidation-add to that the perps constant 'be a goo little victim or you'll get labeled for telling' and especially if your family helps intimate your might be nuts.
That is ALOT of stress.
Eventually with the whole formulated system that is used TI's suffer from an almost vegetative state where compliance is now the norm. No one cares or seems to notice your cries for help so your become a compliant victim and NO human mind can keep recalling those memories everyday over and over..so you just 'forget' and 'give in', you lose conviction and confidence .

I always had a theory that people with PTSD were especially targeted.
Becuz I know from my programming that PTSD is what serves to keep important memories or commands alive in a victim day after day year after year. I was always recalling memories but it was hidden, covered up by a pleasant faced alter on the surface. This is one reason why victims cant stay clean..the hidden memories become too much and you feel you need to reach for something to 'stop' the feelings connected to memories.
I am one of the most fortunate people on earth. I will die knowing the truth about myself and my own life. Most people find anyway they can to run from having to deal with these memories ALL THEIR LIVES. Thus they are easily controlled.
(also a doctor who had previously stood up to the gs system by telling me that "they need to know someone is advocating for you", unfortunately she had to become part of the activities and in the end of a ten year relationship wrote a letter directly diagnosing me with PTSD where prior it seemed as if she did not want to discuss it with me for years.)

Unfortunately for TI's they utilize PTSD against us. The perps work off the PTSD system as to add memories to the gallery of hell and thus they have an 'inhouse' system of perpetual gang stalking IN THE TI'S OWN MIND to assist the other parts of the formula that is used on the outside as stimuli.
Having PTSD helps the perps becuz a Target will internalize more trauma.
The Tavistock Institute uses organized stalking-like methods to 'cure' shell shock (PTSD) in soldiers.
Its inhumane becuz wiping someones mind and personality is not the way to cure them.

Cortisol from stress assists in memory loss making the prisoner/TI docile.
Its especially helpful for them to be able to get you to forget all that has happened during the activites against you.

A bit of validation of police, fire, utility worker involvement (finally)

http://pupaganda.com/2008/07/02/utility-workers-hired-as-stasi-informants-in-colorado-california-arizona.aspx

http://www.prisonplanet.com/utility-workers-hired-as-stasi-informants-in-colorado-california-arizona.html

Well, DUUHHHH.

All TI's who are genuine could have told you this years ago but nooooo, no one listens to the alleged crazies who claim that police, fire and city workers seem to be surveilling and harassing us.

It's like the disclaimers I saw on taxi's recently here in Boston and Brookline. " video camera is in cab"..blah blah blah. When I asked the cabbie if the cameras were present years ago (when I was slammed in 2003 to 2006 ) he seemed surprised I would have thought of it and resorted to the reliable one liner " if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to worry about" which I destroyed, with the critical thinking.

We TI's have been spied on and that info has been abused. Alot of us have been exploited beyond belief with the advantage the system has by being able to gain superior knowledge.
We know damn well that our situations are due to plots of evil design if not conspiracy.

So that means that everyone who ever denied us will now possibly be accountable as part of these activities becuz now its admitted to that such activity exists...so who is to say that it did not exist before if enough people give testimony and can show financial loss/ gross negligence etc?

In 2005 Boston Globe had story on school bus drivers and truckers being also given these privileges.

We all know the 'perps' are commonly union types, police, fire.
What makes no sense is if thier job is to watch us, why must they harass as well? And why do they use info obviously gained from a massive investigation into the Targets life?

We have all experienced this and the activity is to persecute the target until they start reacting in such a way that they would be acting suspiciously.

By the way, with the network all TI's have experienced in existence crime as well as terrorism could be wiped out. We all know this..obviously the system is abused to get rid of people who are not convenient to those that support the system, have enough to pay off the system or are simply connected enough to things the system finds important enough to cover up.

Any and all black market activity like slave labor, human trafficking, drugs, the international kiddie network, and I an imagine other stuff you wouldn't want know about.

YOU CANNOT STREAMLINE A SYSTEM OF CONTROL THAT IS CORRUPT TO BEGIN WITH. THIS WILL ONLY LEAD TO A POLICE STATE OR ENSLAVEMENT.
If everyone is being watched and 'we have nothing to worry about if we have nothing to hide' then how come a madam, a drug dealer, a woman with repeated crooked lawsuits, a real estate company with a history of screwing tenants and gross negligence/breaking contracts who are funded by HUD, and every other bad guy is having a great life but I, a woman who was preparing to go to school, doing art work and getting ready to take part in life changing therapy and having a spiritual awakening was not only treated just like a terrorist suspect but has a horrible life due to organized stalking?

Well, its interesting that all the activites that makes people terrorist suspects were done to me as a target; people photographing me with no apparent art value, taking notes outside house in Waltham, people posing as panhandlers that are new to the area (I love that one) etc.

The system is corrupt from the inside..as long as true criminals continue to set up innocent poor helpless women for scapegoating and entertainment of the spineless masses then the system will fail...always. Get it? 33.3_ ad infinitum. The flaw is there and it will not go away and just becuz you cover it up doesnt mean it is not in existence.

I was no more a terrorist than anyone else in my group who sold me out.

And the system has too many anchors anyway..."boyfriend revenge service" "running from the FBI" simply "in trouble" " your with them or against them" (define 'them').

Everybody knew what was going to happen to me and no one helped me..everyone sold me out.
This goes deeper than just the current 911..I mean 9-11 security measures.

The new world order is believed by many to be the solution to world wars. They actually trust the system to give them a fair deal as long as they help them clean house.
Perhaps they will be taken care of..if they provide proof of compliance.

When I leave the college I utilize research anyone leaving has to open their bags even though it could be just a small opening and not all bags are searched. There is a machine like in the store that to prevent stealing, so the books must be tagged. I guess some people steal books (Losers w/ capital L)...anyway, I asked once why the ineffective search.
I was told " We are simply looking for compliance".

That is what the system is looking for in everyone nowadays. It wants everyone to be a kind of reservist, like of the military. We want to know we can trust you in the event of...
What? Corruption? So being a good citizen now means not questioning corruption.

Monday, August 18, 2008

An actual legit use of the term 'Targeted Individual'

http://www.boycott-riaa.com/article/14753

The article says " targeted individual" and "people targeted by.." a company.
What is so rediculous about our situation is that even if no one admits to what seems like remote influence and claims to only be targeted by stalking and survaillence the person is still not beleived yet this article shows that there is such a thing as being targeted or bullied by someone who wants very badly to win or get rid of you..for whatever thier motive.

I guess it pays to know exactly who is targeting you however...this seems to be the main difference.

Its used against us that our targeting is done without any notification.
Soooo lets get this straight..human beings would never do anything in a sneaky manner under the radar?

O-kaaaayyy.

oppression..it just feels good to have it spelled out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppression

"Oppression is noted by living with constant fear"...sound familiar TI's?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Police_oppression


"Police brutality is the intentional use of excessive force, usually physical, but potentially also in the form verbal attacks and psychological intimidation, by a police officer.."

Lost Cause

Please do not be afraid of or look down on TI's or mind control survivors.
In actuality alot of tbmc survivors really feel superior to the rest of the population becuz they have more ability, talent intel and looks than average people. Targets dont need more ignorance that can be used by the perps against us as fuel.

You know the public looks down on victims and hates 'losers'. Secretly they see these people as damaged and worth less than other people. I dont buy all that 'you are a survivor' bullshit.
Nobody likes a victim. It bothers people. Really victims are seen as trash and vulnerable easy targets.

But programmed people have different parts to them and alot of them do not even acknowledge the outside world as valid. This is why people hate our independence, strength, fierce force and utilization of drive. They hate our aloofness and attention to self.
If I am self repairing machine I have an obligation to keep myself up. Its my job. Its my job to look deeply within always to be systems manager.
Yes, I see alot of mc victims or people I suspect are and people are so mean to them "she has to be perfect all the time!" Well asshole, how would you like to face a fate worse that death or anything here on earth if you DONT look perfect all the time. I stopped looking perfect(over 29 according to the system-of course mc slaves look 23 at 29 anyway) and my suicide programming kicked in!
One of the layers of mindless self suicide commands consisted of informing me it was 'time to go' becuz I didnt look model flawless anymore!
Now there is an incentive to keep one's looks up!!
SO dont bitch about people you know nothing about-outsiders!!!
Alot of the celebs and beautiful people you see who have a hard time are mind controlled and are most likely covertly terrorized so stop judging from ignorance.

Actually the human spirit wants to repair itself so there is a strong attempt to become whole and help others...this seems absolutely abhorrent to the system. They hate this and will pull you down before you know what is up.

People who are programmed are not lost causes. They are not weak victims. In fact if allowed to decompartmentalize and grow to thier proper size and intel level they would be pretty powerful and this seems to be one of the main reasons for the targeting campaign.

All TI's are not lost causes and I think this is a cowardly reaction from society. The last perp that intimated that everyone thought I was a lost cause was a former fatty who could not stop looking at my stomach and sighing jealously.
Fuck all these people. The public should feel gratitude for all we've been put through for them and what activism most recovered people do afterwards as well.
Its always the urge to help humanity that seems the constant...but they exploit us and hate us and treat us like dirt.

Intelligent people might feel that humanity or the public is a lost cause becuz of how stupid they act repetitively throughout history or how dumbed down they have become or how ineffective they are at truly making sacrifices and making thier leaders do thier will.

The lost cause is just another tactic by the perps and I bet if the average person really knew about these atrocities they would sympathize with us in a minute...that is why the enslavers have to keep a ring around us, surrounding us at all times and messing with us so we turn on ourselves.

Self harm/Motives for being Targeted (long post)

I always have examples on here of how society just overlooks torture and abuse and its affects via an abusive system of multiple abusers and technology.

http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/etc/796691434.html

People with PTSD start self harming..usually victims of multiple rape.
It makes me wonder about the electrical part of the study..are these people hip to the fact that some people who self harm are targeted by influencing tech.

I have to admit here, even though it might be to the perps advantage, that my abuse has been so bad and the targeting thru tech so severe in the Boston area that I have off and on very occasionally done self harm. One can only hope it is in private but unfortunately some displays have been public....I am sure the gs system loves this becuz this is a sure fire way to get someone labeled.

I make sure it is very short lived and I notice that if I engage in this behavior and I am alone that all of a sudden people show up.

The reason I engage in this is purely becuz I am targeted to do so. And it IS a result of multiple rape as psychology would suggest but not as outright physical rape.
I still have enough of my self analyzing skills left in me to 'scan' myself as the urge to self harm is happening to me.
I have noticed that it is due to whatever tech or influence that the system has but it would have no effect at all if I had not been tortured for years with classical conditioning attached to my sexual drive and desire along with shaming and humiliation concerning my sexuality.

The rapes can be of the physical body-you can be sexually aroused and the vagina is swollen and you feel like you are having an orgasm but it is very slight. You are just sitting there and usually it is in unison with being paralyzed and unable to move the rest of the body. It feels like total mind control and usually it is accompanied by put downs or commands. Its the essence of rape in a prison camp that we have all heard or read about or seen in movies. It is brainwashing and an intricate part of the classic thought reform formula.

I personally have never been raped as such outright. I have NEVER had to deal with such a lack of control and humiliation, ever. Especially without my former working girl alter ego, Rachel, years ago that compartmentalized anything unpleasant emotionally and physically.

So it seems the formula is the combination of the gang stalking tactics-especially the classical conditioning attached to sexuality and adding humiliation and shaming along with finally the technology that seems to influence behavior is responsible.

If I get out of a certain area I can feel the urge to self harm disappear.

Also I am sometimes doing this becuz it is a way of fighting the constant bombardment of behavior modification.
Remember if you do not do what the system wants nowadays you are a terrorist.
Especially someone like me who is programmed would be treated like one even though my roles were not violent towards others.
There is a military part of me that refuses failure but its 'mission' is to write a book exposing the crimes I have witnessed in the past few years and help mankind....not kill anyone or blow things up.
From what we all have seen of recent years THAT in itself is a threat to what they are trying to do in the world. High level people are being destroyed or targeted for telling the truth or disclosing information that is damning.

So whenever I have had absolutely ENOUGH of the collective effort of the network here in Boston with ideations, now nightly dreams as well as in person perp suggestions to normalize, get a real steady job, conform, forget forget forget- become a 'new person'....all this horrible thought reform..the programming part of me that will accept no defeat upon threat of death threatens to ..(do physical harm) if the behavior modification does not stop.

A few smacks to the head and I notice that interference stops. I have also banged my head as well and I believe it is done publically by me on purpose. I notice perps in cars going by with very worried looks on thier faces when I engaged in this behavior.

I will (inflict physical self harm)......and demand complete non interference in my prime directive.
Well folks, you just heard it from the most Masculine, heartless, mean ass soldier part of me..or whatever it is.
But the people who know they are dealing with a tbmc survivor know this...they purposely turn this side of the personality against the self to create self abuse and even suicide in the name of 'honour'. They know exactly what they are doing.
And also I notice that during what I call Targeting Time : 6 AM to 12 midnight almost exactly every day, pain is not as acutely felt as after 12 midnight.
I beat myself one day in a hotel room for letting the perps get the best of me a few months ago.
I noticed that the pain of the injuries was only really felt physically after 12 midnight....and it really really hurt and I wondered why I had done it.

It definitely has to do with being targeted by tech...I can feel it. Believe me I know.
The urge, even though they hook onto all the pain and shame inside of you to 'fuel' the reaction, the URGE is from the mind and it IS FALSE.
It is against my will.

Here are a few theories as to why TI's are targeted:
- It seems one of thier goals is to create sex slaves and the same system that existed via trauma based programming they want to create the same things except without the compartmentalization.
Even the hurt inside 'fueling' the self harm response is similar to what happens during suicide programming when a compartment of pure trauma and hurt and pain that the slave has been harboring all its life is used as emotional fuel to self destruct the person...which is why the slave must be gang stalked and harassed for life so that they are so miserable that the 'fuel tank' of hurt and pain is always 'full' and you WILL kill yourself mindlessly on commands that are really post hypnotic suggestions placed in your mind/memory as a child.
THE THING THAT IS WRONG AND CRUEL ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE DOING NOW IS THAT IT IS LIKE SOMEONE DOING SURGERY WITHOUT ANESTHESIA. THERE IS NO COMPARTMENTALIZATION AND IT IS NOT AN BUNCH OF ALTERS- THEY ARE DOING THIS TO THE 'REAL ME', THE CORE PERSONALITY.

I have mentioned before that the people handling survivors now seem different from the past programmers. There is no art used or images as such. There is no healing energy, that's for sure and the is the most noticeable difference.
There is sometimes this horrid, fake sense of peace in the body's center and it sucks. It so unbelievable to the human spirit...it just doesn't register as real, true love or peace.
Its like an antidepressant, its fake.

I feel whoever is doing this sees nothing wrong with making mind controlled drones in horrible ways via tech especially and torture.....and they do not see what is wrong with experimenting on human being who are:
1) survivors of trauma based mind control.
2) under the radar becuz tbmc is casually denied as existing. (there is evidence).
3) were 'expendables' any way and were going to die of suicide programming.
This is and has been pure torture. Without the compartmentalization it is pain and torture constantly which is why so many people are suiciding or going insane.
If you suicide or go insane that is pretty serious reaction to events and stimuli.

-There are mentions on the Internet of the military trying to create soldiers that can be remotely instructed on the battlefield in future via implants which would explain away the whole gs system as a war game to test .
My problem with this is that in a psycho civilized world one would not need war, and in a world where minds were joined why would fighting ever exist?
These technologies are not good if they keep people who enjoy fighting and wars going. There is no hope in that, and if there are those who enjoy war then let those who enjoy peace, art, the gods and spirit also have their piece of the world.
These people have no right to keep us all prisoner in their theatres of war.

-Alot of TI's have complained about being harassed by religious types that seems to want to see certain people 'purified'. Sure we can blame the Christian right but even this kind of torture is beyond them. This would have to be people so extreme as to resemble the Inquisition more so. And there are certain other religions that are extremists who are doing things other than blowing things up. Muslims harass gays in Holland and beat them up saying they cannot hold hands in public. They are targeting anyone involved in anything immoral. Who says extremists in other countries dont have this tech to target Americans or anyone for that matter.
Yet, I also read that a part of the Bush administration gave an interview and it was mentioned to a reporter that the Republicans and others who wont go along with thier plans will go thru thier own private purgatory...and when pressed for more detail the man said they would know it when it happened.
(I have to look this up and see if such a moment really happened or if there is record.)
That would be similar to what is happening to TI's. Its sort of like the movie "Flat liners" where you go into the beginning stages of brain death and you find yourself reliving all your sins and things you are guilty for. After you relive it thus you become 'cleansed'.
This would be the type of insane stairway to heaven /Tower of Babel action that powerful men have tried to undertake time and again throughout history.


-My last theory is the most unpleasant. That there is experimentation with a new and extremely viscous kind of parasite. It is well known that parasitic disease is responsible for alot of 'mental illness'. If it affects the brain or nervous system then you would go mad. Also, parasites have been documented to be able to release chemicals to control the hosts behavior-when to feel sleepy when or what to eat, anything to help the parasite complete its life cycle. It does not surprise me that alot of TI's have been suiciding by going into large bodies of water to drown themselves-would this not serve as the best way for the parasite to further its life cycle?

A parasite was found of the tapeworm family in the body of an AIDS patient in San Fran that had become a huge mass in the body all down his right side. It was deemed a 'new' kind of parasite becuz tests showed unusual results as to the creatures make up. It was in the Lancet before an American publication picked it up.
If its nasty and can produce the effects of mind control and eventually madness you have a great way to lower the population on your hands. I was told by a doctor years ago when I presented her with certain test results that I wanted a para test done. She whined and said the CDC would find out about it and want the results(?)..to be frank the CDC seems all in favor of erradication of disease on this planet. But if local corrupt power structures will not cooperate then it wont happen. This is the same doctor that snow jobbed me until I found out I was sick with a Staph and Bacillus species infection for a year thru some responsible medical people who actually do appropriate tests.
Untreated para disease of such a nasty sort would be a great way to get rid of a TI especially corrupting the physical health of and destruction of the mind. Why disturb a time bomb inside a person? Let it do its work! And no one is the wiser when the person suicides or goes mad. It is sick I know but there is mention of human experimentation using infectious disease so my theory is not so sinister and unbelievable.
Nothing is unbelievable when you are a TI. Its nasty and the perps are viscous killers who dont care what happens to you. Believe it.

~~Anyway, people who are targeted do self harm becuz they have dealt with such abuse and invalidation that they become angry with themselves...especially true of the gs target who is constantly denied validation everyday and made to feel that the abuse is ok'd by society or that they deserve it. ~~

ADVICE:
I have since learned to avoid the urge..I know it's the remote influence and I know it would only serve to make me look crazy so its a must to stop it.Just resist it and if you cant try going into a 'safe place'...I cannot put it here becuz I fear the perps will change the targeting to counter my counter....
Just start thinking or experimenting: Where are the locations you notice that you feel the targeting via tech stops or isnt able to reach you? There are certain kinds of buildings that will protect you.
If you are targeted so hard you are going to do something violent and stupid to yourself or others please duck into a building or some other 'shelter' and try to gather resistance. This might be especially important for men who they target alot with becoming lone shooters.
Women seem resistant to this command, I believe it is in relation to the hormone testosterone as to how men react to the system of harassment and stalking differently.
Please do not give them anymore violence for their purposes.The system is using all of us and I notice that there is a great neglect in researching why these suicides and homicides occur.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

'tonnage'

I picked up a small magazine recently in Harvard station.

It was right on the money about what was going on in this country.  It also had a great article that explained how USA won WWII.
It wasn't thru superior soldiers.  Most were just kids and had a quick training.  It stated that we won through 'tonnage'. The sheer amount of soldiers as well as guns and war machinery we had.

This is the same setup of the gs networks and system. That is what intelligent, creative TI's hate about perps. That they seem so...inferior  in alot of ways. And they cant do anything by themselves.  They are exactly the same as the soldiers I mentioned above.

The new 'tonnage' is the technology that is used in targeting individuals as well as the public.

Think of it that way and as a TI you will be less annoyed at the sheer numbers of idiots sent to 'do a mans job' every....fuckin.....day,  I know.

Old perps return

I have become quite beaten down here in Boston.  As I hve written I am homeless and pan handle now becuz after being harassed on every job (or at least perps wasting my time) and that viscous campaign in Brighton years ago I will not stay in an apartment. 
I want to get a few things done and then I am leaving. Off the planet. 
Fuck the perps and I will NOT be controlled and behavior  modified.   Want to make me manageable ? Good. All yer gonna get is a dead body on yer hands which is what the system wants anyway.  Fine with me.  

I've got idiots coming up to me telling me I have to accept my circumstances.  I refuse to live a life that is less than my potential should have been. While others less talented attractive or intelligent get all the breaks usually at my expense. Go fuck yourselves. Old mind control survivors don't last long anyway and my purpose over the last few years has been to use me for whatever you can on my way out the door.   Everybody can go to hell.
Basically when you start deprogramming and having memory recall suicide programming becomes active. If you fight this-if you are informed due to the Internet, you will get such a harassment campaign and you will be framed or exposed or whatever they have to do to prevent you from going to the right therapist or hypnotist.  
I was discouraged from seeking help and stonewalled all the way so the system could get rid of me like it wants to get rid of all victim witnesses.  

Recently some people I used to know have been coming around the spot I stem. One woman is this annoying bitch who is in with the Brookline Bitches club who helped destroy me. They are also women old enough to know my family and ma warned me that they may enjoy destroying me becuz they hated her from Ken's Pub. 
I am not my family and it would be pretty ironic for my mother to get help from HER enemies to help get rid of me.  
They can both go fuck themselves and those old bitches especially. 
 
This woman is a 12 step drone who was a former cult  member (oohh more mind control, that's what I want in MY life right now). She speaks to you and does this fucked up thing with her eyes where they roll in her head.. i always wanted to see her eyes pinned becuz at least she'd be doing something normal-like taking drugs instead of this sci-fi shit where peoples minds are fried by drugs and god knows what else.  She came up to me and was with some fat chick.

 Now NA has proven helpful to get off drugs-the ONLY thing that works but as for getting deprogrammed, well yes, its a start actually. 
But the people, u get disillusioned with them. You realize they change thier habits but they dont change their insides. Thier heads. Alot of them are walking the walk but they are hiding out alot of fucked up behaviors.
Alot of NA was really snooty to me and I could never figure out why until my sponsor finally got it through my head that these are mostly the wayward trust fund children of the elite or wealthy anyway and alot simply pose like they are poor or bohemian.  
I could never figure out why they were poor- but never angry or worried.  (its a saying in advertising " angry, worried and poor" it describes the demographic well.)

So much bad came out of that program that has to do with my gang stalking and the targeting of another man I witnessed who hung himself in jail I want nothing to do with them.

She asked what I was up to and I said I was homeless she cood "oh no" and " do you want my number" and i just avoided this nut like the plague.  Then the this scalper shows up for a sports event who is also in that crowd and I have not seen these people for ages..I sight of her and turned on my heel out of there.  
Today I was getting breakfast money near Allston far from Kenmore and Miss MC shows up again  and walks by with some guy and she points me out to him and says something to him- I am sure along the line of my situation..but it was the sort of thing where you point out someone you used to know who has gone insane and lives on the streets now....under supposed mysterious circumstances.
I'll tell u one thing. These people need to work on their acting
.
My ex has gained alot of favor with some powerful a-holes in program and I was told in the midwest that he 'helped someone' if he has been hooked up like that. 
Well duh, no shit.

The network cant bust me from the outside in so they are trying to bring in people from my past to bust me up from the inside out.  The effect of my current situation being experienced by me and introducing old characters has the effect of showing me how failed I am. How they won. How the system works if you work with it and perp people.  And of courses ultimately brings back memories of how my life once was.

They are just more toys for the system to play with..more characters to play roles. More chess pieces.

Thank god the system is compartmentalized and these idiots have NO idea what happened in the midwest, so they think I am losing it instead of just coasting for a while.

Take advantage of the fact that the system seems to be compartmentalized. It gives the target a level of control thru central control of information.  Really the perps use this to thier advantage alot. Only the TI really knows all that has happened to them and no one can say any different unless they were there the whole time.

So the system fills in the blank spots with more disinfo to the different networks.  

Who can say except me why I am such a mess after coming from the mid west? Or travelling the country. Were YOU there? NO.  Did you meet and talk with the people I did ? NO you did not.

With my situation they are trying to still work on the original effort by the network here especially from my compromised family "she's crazy"...well darlings. Lets not forget who is programmed and more capable than you idiots who win by sheer numbers and 'tonnage' (nowadays 'tech').   I have a few professionals who know damn well and will attest to the fact that I am traumatized.  That's all that was ever wrong with me to begin with.
(Trauma Based Mind Control-duuh) ...
These jerks will do anything to protect the many rich connected brats who benefited from my downfall and don't want me rising from the ashes to take what was rightfully mine.

What they DO seem to want is to control the manner in which I am resurrected...remember alot of ritual abuse is connected to the gs system and the tech they are using. There is alot of occult activity in this.
I am being pushed non stop lately to get a job in the helping profession and specifically a hospital.  Once again its all about me taking care of others and no development of my own power.
I MUST be pushed into these circumstances so that the system, especially those who are guilty on paper (the negligent real estate company etc) are absolved.  
Remember a perp told me I MUST be made manageable.  Now they need to get rid of thier guilt I guess. From the beginning its been "she'll be ok" and its becuz they know they have the means thru gang stalking and technology, drugs and psy ops, thought reform and behavior modification to make it look like a victim of severe abuse and neglect is 'ok'.  
 They scare you into being 'ok' with fear and intimidation, isolation and invalidation.  You are MADE to accept the false reality that everything is 'ok'.  

Think about it. At this point what other choice do I have? My movements are restricted I am living in sheer poverty under duress and threat everyday and I am being threatened and terrorized DAILY.  
Why WOULDN'T anyone take the deal they are offered instead of suffer on like this?

Becuz I did not fight so that they could mold me into what they feel is either  best for me or safest for them.
 I will not be controlled.  
They think its all about programming that if they destroy enough of your mind and personality and give you enough brain damage -dumb you down make you weak and needy, get rid of all that internal structure and internal commands that you can be remolded. 
But only a service position is allowed. U will still essentially be a slave then..a servant. Never allowed your own power or empire built on your own energy talents and efforts.
This is another reason I beleive they had to trigger my suicide programming...becuz then they could disable the very mechanism that is the core of me acting without fear of death.  

I recall a perp in AZ telling me I  was "only allowed to grow  very conditionally" and behavior modification is specifically why.

When the system brings in old perps that hurt you originally they are trying to mess with you. Avoid these people at all costs..or at least use the bastards for anything you could get out of them without danger to yourself.
They deserve it.