Self harm/Motives for being Targeted (long post)

I always have examples on here of how society just overlooks torture and abuse and its affects via an abusive system of multiple abusers and technology.

http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/etc/796691434.html

People with PTSD start self harming..usually victims of multiple rape.
It makes me wonder about the electrical part of the study..are these people hip to the fact that some people who self harm are targeted by influencing tech.

I have to admit here, even though it might be to the perps advantage, that my abuse has been so bad and the targeting thru tech so severe in the Boston area that I have off and on very occasionally done self harm. One can only hope it is in private but unfortunately some displays have been public....I am sure the gs system loves this becuz this is a sure fire way to get someone labeled.

I make sure it is very short lived and I notice that if I engage in this behavior and I am alone that all of a sudden people show up.

The reason I engage in this is purely becuz I am targeted to do so. And it IS a result of multiple rape as psychology would suggest but not as outright physical rape.
I still have enough of my self analyzing skills left in me to 'scan' myself as the urge to self harm is happening to me.
I have noticed that it is due to whatever tech or influence that the system has but it would have no effect at all if I had not been tortured for years with classical conditioning attached to my sexual drive and desire along with shaming and humiliation concerning my sexuality.

The rapes can be of the physical body-you can be sexually aroused and the vagina is swollen and you feel like you are having an orgasm but it is very slight. You are just sitting there and usually it is in unison with being paralyzed and unable to move the rest of the body. It feels like total mind control and usually it is accompanied by put downs or commands. Its the essence of rape in a prison camp that we have all heard or read about or seen in movies. It is brainwashing and an intricate part of the classic thought reform formula.

I personally have never been raped as such outright. I have NEVER had to deal with such a lack of control and humiliation, ever. Especially without my former working girl alter ego, Rachel, years ago that compartmentalized anything unpleasant emotionally and physically.

So it seems the formula is the combination of the gang stalking tactics-especially the classical conditioning attached to sexuality and adding humiliation and shaming along with finally the technology that seems to influence behavior is responsible.

If I get out of a certain area I can feel the urge to self harm disappear.

Also I am sometimes doing this becuz it is a way of fighting the constant bombardment of behavior modification.
Remember if you do not do what the system wants nowadays you are a terrorist.
Especially someone like me who is programmed would be treated like one even though my roles were not violent towards others.
There is a military part of me that refuses failure but its 'mission' is to write a book exposing the crimes I have witnessed in the past few years and help mankind....not kill anyone or blow things up.
From what we all have seen of recent years THAT in itself is a threat to what they are trying to do in the world. High level people are being destroyed or targeted for telling the truth or disclosing information that is damning.

So whenever I have had absolutely ENOUGH of the collective effort of the network here in Boston with ideations, now nightly dreams as well as in person perp suggestions to normalize, get a real steady job, conform, forget forget forget- become a 'new person'....all this horrible thought reform..the programming part of me that will accept no defeat upon threat of death threatens to ..(do physical harm) if the behavior modification does not stop.

A few smacks to the head and I notice that interference stops. I have also banged my head as well and I believe it is done publically by me on purpose. I notice perps in cars going by with very worried looks on thier faces when I engaged in this behavior.

I will (inflict physical self harm)......and demand complete non interference in my prime directive.
Well folks, you just heard it from the most Masculine, heartless, mean ass soldier part of me..or whatever it is.
But the people who know they are dealing with a tbmc survivor know this...they purposely turn this side of the personality against the self to create self abuse and even suicide in the name of 'honour'. They know exactly what they are doing.
And also I notice that during what I call Targeting Time : 6 AM to 12 midnight almost exactly every day, pain is not as acutely felt as after 12 midnight.
I beat myself one day in a hotel room for letting the perps get the best of me a few months ago.
I noticed that the pain of the injuries was only really felt physically after 12 midnight....and it really really hurt and I wondered why I had done it.

It definitely has to do with being targeted by tech...I can feel it. Believe me I know.
The urge, even though they hook onto all the pain and shame inside of you to 'fuel' the reaction, the URGE is from the mind and it IS FALSE.
It is against my will.

Here are a few theories as to why TI's are targeted:
- It seems one of thier goals is to create sex slaves and the same system that existed via trauma based programming they want to create the same things except without the compartmentalization.
Even the hurt inside 'fueling' the self harm response is similar to what happens during suicide programming when a compartment of pure trauma and hurt and pain that the slave has been harboring all its life is used as emotional fuel to self destruct the person...which is why the slave must be gang stalked and harassed for life so that they are so miserable that the 'fuel tank' of hurt and pain is always 'full' and you WILL kill yourself mindlessly on commands that are really post hypnotic suggestions placed in your mind/memory as a child.
THE THING THAT IS WRONG AND CRUEL ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE DOING NOW IS THAT IT IS LIKE SOMEONE DOING SURGERY WITHOUT ANESTHESIA. THERE IS NO COMPARTMENTALIZATION AND IT IS NOT AN BUNCH OF ALTERS- THEY ARE DOING THIS TO THE 'REAL ME', THE CORE PERSONALITY.

I have mentioned before that the people handling survivors now seem different from the past programmers. There is no art used or images as such. There is no healing energy, that's for sure and the is the most noticeable difference.
There is sometimes this horrid, fake sense of peace in the body's center and it sucks. It so unbelievable to the human spirit...it just doesn't register as real, true love or peace.
Its like an antidepressant, its fake.

I feel whoever is doing this sees nothing wrong with making mind controlled drones in horrible ways via tech especially and torture.....and they do not see what is wrong with experimenting on human being who are:
1) survivors of trauma based mind control.
2) under the radar becuz tbmc is casually denied as existing. (there is evidence).
3) were 'expendables' any way and were going to die of suicide programming.
This is and has been pure torture. Without the compartmentalization it is pain and torture constantly which is why so many people are suiciding or going insane.
If you suicide or go insane that is pretty serious reaction to events and stimuli.

-There are mentions on the Internet of the military trying to create soldiers that can be remotely instructed on the battlefield in future via implants which would explain away the whole gs system as a war game to test .
My problem with this is that in a psycho civilized world one would not need war, and in a world where minds were joined why would fighting ever exist?
These technologies are not good if they keep people who enjoy fighting and wars going. There is no hope in that, and if there are those who enjoy war then let those who enjoy peace, art, the gods and spirit also have their piece of the world.
These people have no right to keep us all prisoner in their theatres of war.

-Alot of TI's have complained about being harassed by religious types that seems to want to see certain people 'purified'. Sure we can blame the Christian right but even this kind of torture is beyond them. This would have to be people so extreme as to resemble the Inquisition more so. And there are certain other religions that are extremists who are doing things other than blowing things up. Muslims harass gays in Holland and beat them up saying they cannot hold hands in public. They are targeting anyone involved in anything immoral. Who says extremists in other countries dont have this tech to target Americans or anyone for that matter.
Yet, I also read that a part of the Bush administration gave an interview and it was mentioned to a reporter that the Republicans and others who wont go along with thier plans will go thru thier own private purgatory...and when pressed for more detail the man said they would know it when it happened.
(I have to look this up and see if such a moment really happened or if there is record.)
That would be similar to what is happening to TI's. Its sort of like the movie "Flat liners" where you go into the beginning stages of brain death and you find yourself reliving all your sins and things you are guilty for. After you relive it thus you become 'cleansed'.
This would be the type of insane stairway to heaven /Tower of Babel action that powerful men have tried to undertake time and again throughout history.


-My last theory is the most unpleasant. That there is experimentation with a new and extremely viscous kind of parasite. It is well known that parasitic disease is responsible for alot of 'mental illness'. If it affects the brain or nervous system then you would go mad. Also, parasites have been documented to be able to release chemicals to control the hosts behavior-when to feel sleepy when or what to eat, anything to help the parasite complete its life cycle. It does not surprise me that alot of TI's have been suiciding by going into large bodies of water to drown themselves-would this not serve as the best way for the parasite to further its life cycle?

A parasite was found of the tapeworm family in the body of an AIDS patient in San Fran that had become a huge mass in the body all down his right side. It was deemed a 'new' kind of parasite becuz tests showed unusual results as to the creatures make up. It was in the Lancet before an American publication picked it up.
If its nasty and can produce the effects of mind control and eventually madness you have a great way to lower the population on your hands. I was told by a doctor years ago when I presented her with certain test results that I wanted a para test done. She whined and said the CDC would find out about it and want the results(?)..to be frank the CDC seems all in favor of erradication of disease on this planet. But if local corrupt power structures will not cooperate then it wont happen. This is the same doctor that snow jobbed me until I found out I was sick with a Staph and Bacillus species infection for a year thru some responsible medical people who actually do appropriate tests.
Untreated para disease of such a nasty sort would be a great way to get rid of a TI especially corrupting the physical health of and destruction of the mind. Why disturb a time bomb inside a person? Let it do its work! And no one is the wiser when the person suicides or goes mad. It is sick I know but there is mention of human experimentation using infectious disease so my theory is not so sinister and unbelievable.
Nothing is unbelievable when you are a TI. Its nasty and the perps are viscous killers who dont care what happens to you. Believe it.

~~Anyway, people who are targeted do self harm becuz they have dealt with such abuse and invalidation that they become angry with themselves...especially true of the gs target who is constantly denied validation everyday and made to feel that the abuse is ok'd by society or that they deserve it. ~~

ADVICE:
I have since learned to avoid the urge..I know it's the remote influence and I know it would only serve to make me look crazy so its a must to stop it.Just resist it and if you cant try going into a 'safe place'...I cannot put it here becuz I fear the perps will change the targeting to counter my counter....
Just start thinking or experimenting: Where are the locations you notice that you feel the targeting via tech stops or isnt able to reach you? There are certain kinds of buildings that will protect you.
If you are targeted so hard you are going to do something violent and stupid to yourself or others please duck into a building or some other 'shelter' and try to gather resistance. This might be especially important for men who they target alot with becoming lone shooters.
Women seem resistant to this command, I believe it is in relation to the hormone testosterone as to how men react to the system of harassment and stalking differently.
Please do not give them anymore violence for their purposes.The system is using all of us and I notice that there is a great neglect in researching why these suicides and homicides occur.