Was taking prednisone for poison ivy twice in one month. think it was a bit much for my system. whatever I caught in the woods in TN was very nasty and my body was not used to it. that medicine is harsh its a steroid. I think it was making me depressive or something really negative. Not to say that I didnt experience what I as far as harassment goes but I think it put me in a state where I couldnt counter it or fight.
Woods Mullen (Intake/ Long Island shelter) aka 'Boston Public Health commission' ( roll eyes now) has improved much since I was last here, whereas Pine St now wont let anyone sleep in the lobby late at night. Woods Mullen doestn tolerate those awful gang b*tches making a racket so one cant sleep at night and messing with people...then again they could just all be in Florida for the winter with thier tacky ass pimps for good weather. We'll how the place fares in the summer or spring.
Nor do I have to hear a geeking drag queen sit there and bitch or brag about cock and cash for services. They bitch worse than women and its irritating as hell. Though they carry off adversity rather gracerfully with calm streght on average,...unlike most girls.
Anyway, I am actually getting sleep (gasp!) and not getting messed with.
And magically after 15 years they somehow got funding for a new waiting area so at least upon first look the place doesnt look totally f*cked. But then I wonder just what they did to get that built. Gang stalking?
And staff are still creepy if not cranky. They act like its over and I lost and am too stupid to know what went on in that shelter. THat place was and is perp central.. well duuhh.
Your not the only place on the planet you know so get over it. There are desperat a-hole across the country who need to feel better about themselves at 10 bucks an hour. Piss off.
There has always been this sentiment in Boston shelters and I have heard it said about me "she aint no better" . These people are so fucked with letting this strongly classist system beat them down into conformity TO that system, that they actually believe tghat if you have pride in yourself, if your strive for more, if you are attractive or carry yourself a certain way that you somehow percieve yourself as 'better'.
First of all that is the most UN American sentiment I have ever heard of and its becoming more and more obvious as I grow and travel that Boston might just be a bunch of Commies.
So..I am not supposed to try to make it in America? what the hell is wrong with you?
Secondly alot of these people have families and shit I dont really have. So its a trade off but they let jealousy dictate thier actions and thoughts like true losers.
Lastly, I was actually a very humanitarian and loving person who wanted to know everybody and was interested in people in general. NOW I find myself looking down on all these people becuz thier actions have made me totally disresect them and to me now they have little human value.
This staff Margaret keeps always gawking at me to try to make me feel bad. or else shes got closet lesbo tendencies cuz she needs to stop lookin. and the look today down at the desk was just a combo of avoidance at what they know went down there over the past few years and some kind of hate towards me. The white guy with the beard who seems a new employee there is especially into thinking he's evil or some shit.
The attention I was getting as I packed up my sleeping bag downstairs, the looks as I left out the door I looked back and there is this deceptive look they have especially him. We are just so evil (snicker) and we got you good and destroyed your pretty face and your life and we got away with it and we are ULTIMATELY BETTER THAN YOU.
No you are not becuz I would have died of suicide programming anyway, and all of this is what every survivor of TBMC goes through. EVERY SINGLE SURVIVOR HAS TO DEAL WITH THIS KIND OF HARASSMENT WHEREVER THEY GO. Some are killed off outright in snuff films and such. Most just have 'accidents'. Or they snap and go death by cop (mostly men). Suicides and ODs are popular.
Go f*ck yourselves how does that sound? You are of use to the larger system and if the order was not given to go after me and destroy then you would not have been allowed to touch me and we aaallll know that now dont we.
People like this are nothings who do what they are told. There is no way they could have acted on thier own. Not only are they incapable they arent allowed to. I have heard of and seen perps die becuz they did something to put the larger system at risk. They know damn well they are nothing but the TI provides an illusion of their power.
One way or another I would have been destroyed so dont flatter yourselves. This is the life of an expendable.
My pretty face would have been ruined anyway if I had DIED which is what was supposed to happen.
And there is this creepy thing going on where they want you to join them, if not literally ( I was approached in 2007 for this reason) to work as a perp, then to join them as the defeated..somehow your captors become your only family. Eventually you will see that they are now your companions and they know more about you than anyone in your past history and they own you now.
This is the power of cult mind control and its the part where peer pressure from the group starts to take effect.
Do not be fooled by this. The life you would have had if it were not for COVERT INFLUENCING OF EVENTS by these groups and their hidden employers, would NEVER HAVE INCLUDED THEM.
You would never be in shelters or on the street.
They wany to reduce u. This is not who u really r. This is the altered version and dont forget it, ever.
DO NOT ALLOW THE OFFENDERS TO BECOME FRIENDS. DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO TAKE YOU DOWN TO THIER LEVEL PERMANENTLY.
DO NOT ALLOW THE SYSTEM TO ABSORB YOU.
GETTING ABSORBED BY THIS SYSTEM FEELS BAD TO YOU.
FIGHTING THEM ALWAYS FEELS GOOD.
IT FEELS GOOD TO FIGHT AND BE HATEFUL OF THEM.
REJECTING THEM COMPLETELY GIVES YOU PLEASURE...
YOU KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THEY ARE.
THEY HAVE DENIED YOU A RIGHT TO LIFE AND ALL OPPORTUNITY
TO LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT IS THE TRUE CRIME.