At a local shelter. Everything has been allright this time. One stupid accusation about me having alcohol on my breath that was done with when I told them I cant drink or take pills due to allergic reactions.
OK since then except for one fat woman who may just be playing the old racist games of aggravating anyone who seems weak. Hey its the northeast and its not New York. She is reading the paper and was doing alot of tapping, which seemed systematic to aggravate. Once other women came out and sat down not being able to sleep I suppose, she is still reading the paper with her huge bowl of cereal in front of her but the tapping has magically stopped so one can only assume its a mind game. I hardly noticed it due to having my earphones on but it came to annoy me and even started to trigger some issues due the way the tapping was being done to control and dominate. I cant help this as its from years of classical conditioning and the damage is permanent. All I can do usually is mentally fight it.
It was also obvious she wanted to start trouble as there is a whole kitchen full of seats and she had to sit facing me due to me being along the wall where there is an outlet. So I moved once I did not like the feeling I started getting by her sitting there. She was also making alot of body language moves that were attention seeking and meant to bother whoever else was there. Many unhappy fat black women seem into these sorts of weird bizarre behaviors and its hard to tell if they are something that is taught or learned in the former slave culture for purposes of domination and aggravating the perceived enemy or if its gang stalking and someone who is potentially that stupid is capable actions borne out of motives more sophisticated than being an aggravating, ig'nant ghetto piece of sh*t. I had a roommate once that was tall, very thin due to being Indian as well as African American and looked like a model. Women on the trains in Boston would constantly look at her like they couldn't stand her. We used to go out and counter terrorize everyone. She would counter all the white collegiate BU type b*tches who would try to suck me dry via class war due to thier jealously and I would dominate the blacks via race that would try to eat her alive with thier dirty looks borne out of jealousy as well. It was great fun.
She told me that she couldnt even go into Roxbury to get her hair done by people that know what they are doing with African American heads becuz "Them bitches will make me bald-headed". She said they would perm her hair too long and do other stuff to mess it up on purpose. Jealousy again.
Who knows if half of what they do is on purpose or its just the totally bizarre behavior that comes out of ghetto upbringing. This is why blacks often can understand odd behaviors and are a bit more accepting of oddity in people. Craziness seems more acceptable or common place to them, I am sure its becuz creativity is normal as a part of a person's make up. Many factions of whites get weirded out by creative eccentricities, unfortunately Italian-Americans are one of these factions. The Irish are a bit more tolerant of eccentricities.
I still think its funny recently when I returned to Boston and one Italian kid who knew who I was somehow seemed to try to be diplomatic and be friendly but his friend said "Cmon, shes a weirdo, lets go". Totally in denial and compartmentalized and they dont even realize it. This is the entire basis for the joke that is the guy from the Sopranos going to therapy. Victims of mind control are not going to respond to therapy. Its totally ridiculous.
But its not weird to kill and then do Hail Mary's to set things straight. Totally f*cked seriously. And whatever the hell has been done to make Italian Americans so different from Italians from the old country is just disgusting. Jersey Shore? Its just embarrassing really. Please tell me that Italians from Italy dont dress and act that way...please.
I guess its all about conforming so one does not get percieved as a 'weirdo'. So the Italian American stock has degenerated so badly that someone who possesses the same talent it would take to paint classical artworks that help to make Italy what ti was and is, is simply perceived as a 'weirdo'. I guess you have to have funding and blessings from the church to be officially 'talented' and conduct your business affairs properly.
Whats more interesting is that they are now so ignorant, that someone trying to come out from under mind control and conditioning is a weirdo when in fact much of thier population seems to be controlled by much the same processes. But since church is a social activity no one notices I guess. And the mob is also a social activity as well as a business so no pointing out how f*cked that is and how much mind control is involved with someone being so compartmentalized that they can actually say "dont forget the canolis" when scene of a murder they just committed. Then going home and pretending that your 'other life' with your family is totally unconnected to the one you just took part in. Thats how mc assassins are made. Disassociation.
I wonder how many people in these organizations actually get to realize at some point in life that the people at the top are mind control experts, whether conshus of it or not.
They arent tough..they're mind controlled.
I guess a 'weirdo' is someone who is nerdy and smart enough to see through bullshit. I see now the need to disregard and reject such a person. Can you imagine the damage to two of the most lucrative business to come out of Rome or Italy? Organized crime and organized religion? Cant have that now can we.
Next time you address me just be honest about it. Try something like "she's highly intelligent, lets get out of here" or "she's talented, lets roll". How about "girls are weirdos (threats) if they are highly intelligent, talented and attractive, were never baptized, dont have 5 kids or any for that matter at 39 and dont have a husband running thier lives like a hostage"
Just be HONEST...if that is humanly possible, ever.
I had to go inside I was sick. Wasnt getting better sleeping outside. And you can tell I have had enough of being around Boston as the typical annoying elements I obviously have no tolerance for right now.
The place is pretty peaceful other than one disruptive resident. Its bizarre when someone seemed impaired but they are also capable of being manipulative and selfish. No one quite knows what to do with that person. You cant reason with them its futile. I am used to this woman from seeing her at other shelters, rougher ones where she didnt pull the crap she does here as the women would have just pummeled her. The clients here and much nicer, its a dry shelter. So of course this woman is on her worst behavior.
This shelter has a bad habit of always keeping a problem person around. Either a staff member of some client who is either a selfish bully or someone like this broad.
I just ignore her as I did at other places. It would be easy enough to get her riled up outside and just call the nut ambulance to take her away to get her away from disprupting the shelter but since I am damned to homelessness for life due to my being targeted (and permanently traumatized in relation to every getting a place to live) I may has well use all the info I gather to write up proposals for improvements to the industry and get active. There is so much corruption and waste on taxpayer dollars and neither political party has the right approach.
With the Rep you get cuts that drive these programs and staff to even more desperate ends and the conditions get worse not better. But with the Dems you get crap like ACORN where govt funding is mismanaged and lower level crime gets coddled by the people in the system as well as inefficient, wasteful use of funds and probably white collar crime.
The homeless industry has to be run alot better not cut as a social program. And there is too much focus on controlling people and getting them into the system. Too much monopoly of programs that totally dominate adult free citizens with alot of disregard for human and civil rights. Its one of the last dark corners in our society where people can actually severely abuse other human beings without being called on it.
I believe the game is for the white collar criminals to enable the most f*cked up people in the system thus the focus falls on the homeless themselves not the middle management or administrative factions in the industry, so their actions get over looked.
Every shelter I have been in has good things about it that should be used in an efficient and humane shelter but each one also has some things very wrong with them, things that need to cease to exist if improvements are to be made to the industry as a whole. Using the fact this is a Capitalist society to form the stigma of a free ride or people using these places as hotels ( I have actually had that said to me more than once simply for advocating for myself) is part of the white collar criminal's con job on the public. When they all start publishing their accounting books and budgets publicily then the public can be a bit less suspect of thier motives. If I had a shelter that is what I would do. Go ahead, look at the accounts, right on the internet for everyone too see.
There is too much monopoly of places like the aforementioned and no focus on getting the factions of the homeless who are functional out of shelters that dont work for them. A pay in system along with govt funding would be very nice. Something like a cross between an Intentional Community and a homeless shelter. This Oliver Twist crap has to end somewhere.
Homelessness has to stop being viewed as some sort of shameful mistake or an abnormal state of being for humans. Humans were pretty much 'homeless' and nomadic for thousands of years. The problem is the system does not like threats to its structure and a nomadic or houseless population out of the control of a society is perceived as a threat. Forcing people into a system that modifies them and conforms them to being housed in low income buildings is not humane nor is it even Constitutional perhaps. There should be alternatives and there also should be practical ways to get rid of anyone who is going to jeopardize such a potential good idea like all the bad elements that make homeless shelters unbearable to begin with: low functioning severely mentally ill, drug addicts and drunks who cant handle themselves properly, trouble makers, thieves and corrupt or abusive staff.
Individual rights must come to be respected along with a communal living situation. And I myself am not too comfortable with everthing being free. Some shelters ask you to do too many chores and keep you too busy to deal with your own affairs and others dont ask enough of the clients at all. Both are depressing and upsetting. I dont trust people around me that expect things like this to be free, unless they are short term homeless who are in transition from losing housing to getting housing. They will tend to use this system for what it seems best designed for. However there are many chronically homeless who dont need more money for housing, they need shelters that will be managed better. And senior shelters should be created. Plenty of older women seem to be more than self sufficient they just use the shelters as home bases it seems.
Homeless hostels is not a good idea as it will confuse the American public who are still very unaware of what a Hostel is. Homeless Intentional Communities would be nice. And the same controls that apply to civilized living should be applied. Tent cities are often ridden with crime or people hiding out from the law.
Now that the country seems a bit humbled do to the economy perhaps such a concept is possible. And it wont be a scary socialist approach using total govt funding making all those Capitalists nervous. Unless its socialist to pay in partially and be subsidized by the govt. It has to be marketed as something separate from a govt program.
Something that cant be institutionalized.
And getting people up at 6 am is ridiculous. Its like another penalty for being homeless. I personally just end up sleeping during the day like I do when I sleep outside. It disrupts my schedule to get things done. It also makes me alot less mentally aware or productive. Something about getting up before at lest 8am sets my mind in a permanent state of OFF mode until much later in the day and by then its time to prepare for the next day. Again this is most likely due to most shelters functioning as go betweens in housing situations. As many people have said to me its supposed to be a temporary situation. For many of us its not and the system doesnt want to address that at all. The people working in this field know that and simply allow chronically homeless people to keep traveling between shelters which is thier way of helping us the best they can. Many people in this industry want to help others but their hands are tied by the way the system is funded.
Some homeless people actually become accustomed to a nomadic lifestyle and putting them in housing fails every time. Older people especially seem to desire human company even if they dont engage with others. Many homeless people in the high functioning demographics actually need the communal setting to feel safe for whatever thier reasons are. If this could be a reality but still with some structure and minus the mind control or brainwashing tactics as well as abusive staff or clients an alternative could be formed that would take a number of people out of the homeless population as it is now.
I dont need to be around severely mentally ill people as it is disruptive as well as make me start doubting my own sanity and messed up morale. The trouble makers on all sides are disruptive enough to drive me and others like me out of any shelter. I think they keep them this way as a motivator to get out of the system. But that is quite literally behavior modification and to destroy someone's natural affinity for communal living in favor of America's percieved 'normal' way of living by individual ownership of land or possessions is akin to paranoia about Communists.
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