Woke up this morning with the idea that I have to make peace with everyone involved in this becuz I am going to die soon from bad health.
I spent my morning dream time traveling through places I had been and making nice with people who I had met and been messed with by, in the many years of this ordeal.
It was only like two places and two sets of people that I had met along the way.
The problem with this is that it 'heals' the victim of emotional and spiritual damage but its not REAL. Its done through obvious tech or other means. It only further assists injustice.
This of course goes along with what the military is doing to see if they can get soldiers to forget so as to 'cure' PTSD by melting away thier traumatic memories. Which of course makes sense as I am the daughter of a documented survivor of radiation experimentation at the Naval Hospital in Bethesda Maryland in the 1950's, where the military and the CIA both had human experimentation going- now understood as unethical.
Its obvious that I have been sacrificed into a second generation of experimentation. This is the reason most likely that the people around me throughout this have had the attitude of 'oh its not hurting you' or 'you'll be all right', and other minimizing of abuse and handling of the Target.
Its horrifying to think of how many of these people knew it was human experimentation or at least a severe behavior modification program based on torture.
Its bad enough I had to go through what I did and that people can easily deny everything they did. I do have years of documentation and can prove much of the corruption, but how easy is it going to be to string it all together to prove beyond a doubt that this was a conspiracy or plot of evil design by multiple individuals? The attitude of the whole world seems to be to forget it, that no one is listening, no one cares (as my mother told me when this all started in earnest) and it happened years ago, its over so forget it. Move on. Keep silent.
Also I have this idea that if I do write a book that its not going to change much or punish those responsible or get me justice or restitution.
We have to keep fighting. We have to reveal to the world, whether people listen or not, it HAS To be documented somewhere for history's sake at least.
We have to show reality to the world even if they want to reject that and call TI's mentally ill or whatever they want to do to deny our experiences.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
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Miss Rachael, please don't talk like this... you have a job to do, a book to write, and things to say! You can't lie down and quit. I just don't believe you'd let them get away with doing you in! You seem extremely focused today. Have you started a draft of your book? Do you want stories for it? I would tell mine to you, no one else but you! Head up! Be strong! I'm counting on you.
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