I came back to Harv Sq and on my way to where I stay I saw this kid that works the late shift at that hostel where so much sick sh*t happened during the height of the harassment. He was in front of 7-11. He was looking right in my direction so I know that he saw me first long before I saw him AND he was looking RIGHT INTO MY EYES out of the corner of his eyes. He did not look suprised to see me as he was already looking at me. As he looked into my eyes he immediately turned away upon me recognizing him and shot right away from the store and towards the corner. He heard me say hey, I know he did. And he walked away with the gait of someone who was in control and determined to follow through not someone who was surprised by seeing me and turned quickly without planning.
First off I never see this kid out here in this area EVER.
Also my last post on seeing Kim was probably what brought this on. It was total intimidation.
Its purpose is to either re-silence me becuz seeing Kim broke through literally years of brainwashing to keep me silent and locked into madness.
Also it might be, all of this happening to get me to finally 'confess' information.
I am getting comments from readers who are pushing for me to name names and all that.
The problem with this situation is that my being a Survivor of high level programming I know that what has been done to me over the years is a continued attempt to use MK Ultra methods to gain confession as programmed people carry information in compartments within thier programming system so therefore they do not respond to normal forms of torture or techniques to gain confession.
For years I have seen this go on. In San Francisco about 2006 I was really being targeted and still had not learned it was gang stalking. I had left MA on a road trip to get away from everything especially Scott who was so abusive. Of course now I recount it as very much that I was targeted into that reaction.
When I was in Frisco I broke down and really felt I couldn't handle the situation. I went to get a 'rest' in a facility. I went to a police station within the city to find a facility. Before I even made contact with the officer within he looked as if he was expecting me. It was really creepy. He had this arrogance about the situation as if it was going to be just easy as pie to get the results he thought was coming next.
When I asked for the location of a hospital opposed to whatever other result he expected his composure broke and his face turned from someone in control of a covert activity to someone who's face cracked like a plate on the floor. His jaw almost dropped.
It was, and is, one of the few most satisfying moments of my life being a TI.
The police are so heavily in on this its ridiculous. Why they of all factions should have such power or should be privvy to the workings of such covert activities is beyond me. They are so innately corrupt, arrogant and violent that I cannot imagine anything good coming of such a set up.
Unless of course somehow its connected on some spiritual or level I cant see. I did see a statue once of St Michael in a police station. I suppose there is a connection considering they are essentially a military faction and culture.
That detective in Waltham who I recognize as being involved with my family, who greeted me last time I went into that neighborhood, he also knew much more than he was letting on.
The man who worked for Waltham cab who used to park his livery car outside my family's home around Oct 2006 to engage in harassment and gang stalking, a retired cop, he also was part of this. So many police, in marked cars and otherwise are involved in this that one just shutters to think of thier part in the big picture. So, they know all about mind control and actively harass Survivors? On who's behalf? They obviously know what they are doing as they have engaged in such actions from the mid 90's onward.
That cop in Frisco, you cant tell me that he did not expect me to come crying in there and confess something wether it was a false confession or telling everything I know about everyone I know. Its exactly what the arrogant bastard expected.
This is very suspect as there are many more people connected to Jake, Julie and my mother who know much more about thier activities than I ever did. And besides considering those three people either pay off the cops or kiss thier asses like my mother for instance (ah, the benefits of managing pedophile families in the community. Happens every time in every community) or help them in thier little frame up attempts (Jake) then the cops and thier detectives know all the info they would need anyway. So why is it so important to get me to confess anything.
You have to remember this is about mind control not confession, not information, not any real investigation not anything other THAN mind control.
I almost walked into the Brighton police station with false confessions right around the same time as Mark Carr did the same in confessing to Jon Benet's murder. This means it was experimentation, and exercise in using this system to see if false confession can be induced by such methods. Also, most of the posts have been pulled now, but many people including myself took on look at Carr's interviews and highly suspected he was programmed. Myself included. If that is so, hes a prime candidate for experimentation of this kind as that is what I myself experienced around the same time frame.
Wether he is a pedo is not pertinent here. Plenty of programmed people who are survivors of abuse become active abusers, coming from that backround and all. Mark Carr if he is programmed probably doesnt even know what or who he is, if that is indeed the case. He has also complained of harassment by police in various locations.
And its covered up by the public thinking 'oh he deserves to be harassed for life becuz he's _________'..whatever.
That might be sensible under normal truly random circumstances but the fact is that many Survivors of mind control especially programming that depended on sexual abuse to create fragmented alter systems are going to be Targeted. Targeted does not mean you are under surveillance becuz you are an offender of some kind or have done something society deems unfit and never been caught officially so you deserve it. It means you are singled out. Among all the pedos in the world, why Mark Carr?
Of all the people in my crowd of friends or circle of drug dealers, career criminals and drugged out heiresses, was I targeted to be destroyed, exploited or driven to confession? Me being poor is just another load of bullshit, another part of false flag operations. Another excuse.
People are targeted not becuz of what they do or who they are that is obvious to outsiders. They are targeted becuz of things so sensitive and delicate in nature that they must be handled as such.
Its been put on the internet that Mark Karr now has a cult of some kind of a following. Its really sick too according to his ex. So...why would a system meant to supposedly target immoral people for justice make Mark Karr MORE famous and in turn MORE powerful? Becuz the people behind this are not doing those things for justice. that is a front. They do it for power, profit, favors, to avoid exposure or to play games with other people's lives. They also inadvertently or directly support pedo networks, prostitution, drug operations, money laundering and of course mind control and unethical human experimentation.
Why the cops would need me to confess, the only reasonable motive for that is to make me into a rat so that I when I am killed then its easy to write off the motive.
It is an old trick to get rid of MK Ultra and programming survivors who know too much.
This little game tonight could have all been planned even that moron Kim from NA showing up. If not then that little brush off from the hostel employee was even more probable.
The problem here is to judge wether they are so weak as a network that they are trying to keep me quiet or if they are very strong as a psy ops unit of sorts and are trying to manipulate me into full confession.
I have readers telling me I need to confess everything, name names or write my book and get a radio show. I have ideations all the time about getting a radio show. Its all bullsh*t really and its so obvious.
The whole concept of making a video to name names has been being pushed one way or another for years now.
Looking at the situation it seems very important to get a confession not only to prove MK Ultra does indeed work on programmed assets or persons to gain confession but as a key step in behavior modification/cult mind control brainwashing. To break a person down into confession is one of the greatest steps in forced deprogramming as well as brainwashing.
What they seem to not want is for me to quietly and privately write a book that is tasteful and does not name names and I finally have something to support myself with financially.
THAT seems most unacceptable. It seems they want all this information for free on a videotape. Nice, easy, free and at the expense of me risking my safety further as well as my life its being hinted at. Which is what is expected from mind controlled slaves all thier lives.
getting me to do such a thing, especially publicly would be the ultimate power trip for everyone involved as well as would be the ultimate and final move of control over me handed over to the system. They know this. They know that my betraying my entire life on some video tape so publicly is the ultimate in relinquishing privacy, secrecy and anything else that allows me to have any power remaining over my own life and affairs.
The manner if which I have been treated over time with such arrogance and cruelty usually to gain the same ends tells me that I have no status in the US and probably any other country I would live in. The US has never treated me well. I have never had a fair deal in the USA. I have no rights in the USA. I have been tortured in the USA. I have been exploited, lied to and manipulated by people who are supposed to enforce law and uphold justice in the USA.
Which means that there is no trusting any authority in the USA nor anything they appear to desire cannot be good for me or my case or my safety. Without a lawyer who is indeed serving my best interest and not corrupt I would be a most reasonable person if I did not 'confess' on a video tape like an animal who has been beaten into submission.
Becuz that is what this is really about.
That kid from the hostel can do as he likes. Fuck that whole place. I remember everything they did to me and thier attitudes were that I was a poor piece of sh*t who does not matter in the big scheme of things. that i am expendable. Actually I clearly recall that very same kid saying "fuck you" under his breath early on in these games when it was obvious I was losing to being beaten down by this whole situation.
The little games of pleasantries we all play together as social lube in the day to day world are necessary to walk through peace time moments smoothly and with civility. However I never stopped being at war and my video camera of a mind recalls all details of what was said to me, what was done to me, when where and how. And I can go into that hostel and act stupid or pleasant as if I have forgotten just as they can obviously do the same.
Stop sending children out to do a man's job. Its a joke just like it always was. a bunch of rich kids from some hostel managed by a fat black dude who likes white meat and a creepy Latin with a rude cleaning staff that speak no English and act like thier having to clean is the hardest job in the world (lazy bitches) is no match for high level programming. Nor that WASP old guy who owns the place.
But if you insist on still believing that due to my being obviously so ruined by this system you keep thinkin that. This area is so hung up on believing this is about Julie or Jake and his little music industry jerk off friends that they are blind to the fact that I was programmed before the age of 6 in the early 70's long before knowing any of those people. Its always been about targeting ME, not those morons. those two are so whipped by the people that fund them they are down for life and will NEVER get up again. It may seem they live successful lives but they always got what they wanted by going ass up to some pay off or controlling authority figure.
Such is the moral weakness of rich people. They dont have the balls to tell abusive, corrupt authority to f*ck off due to being controlled by the money. And I am supposed to fear THAT.
No matter what I do however I will be mistreated and perceived as weak and helpless just like my Arab friend that the FBI abused in order to recruit him.. These f*ckers dont respect anything but money or power and that includes power in numbers.
The person is forever seen as someone who was never rich or strong enough to protect themselves.
and not enough people know about this system to protect people like me which is why its so hard to cope.
The only people who know who you are are the people who hate you, dont respect you and fear you only. Therefore they have ultimate power over you with no factions to rival that.
Which means its stand alone for life. Which is fine with me but I am not going to take action based on a bunch of stupid kids playing games.
Kim was so not prepared for what occured that it was pathetic. No matter what someone like me says or does they MUST percieve me as controlled.
Especially my mother, Jake, Julie and anyone else I have inside information on who screwed me over. Due to my having actual damaging information on those three parties its best to discredit me by having me percieved as a joke, powerless and helpless. There fore anything I say no matter how true it is is not going to be well recieved anyway.
Its a joke. I know it and they know it too. In a country where money, power and professionalism are respected someone like me no matter how talented or intelligent or in the right will always be steam rolled over by more powerful people...
Which is why I have divorced myself from the US in many ways and even lived mentally over seas for years. The last step is to take the body out of the country as well and then spread as much of my story as possible for my remaining years about how corrupt America is, how disgusting and how horribly I was treated. Again no one is going to really care due to my status being so low.
For all the laws that are made none of them apply to victims probably in any rich powerful country. Only money or power count. So why bother to do what they want or say? Its not like anyone is going to respect you for it. Yer a joke to most people especially in the USA, which is a very warped sick country at its core.
If I tell my story its going to be of my own Will and to serve ME. Not the overlords. The only thing most people are after is to torture me further to get reactions. Its probably entertaining or fulfilling in some way. I will never be taken seriously in a country like the US. Ever. And everything i say or do will be used as entertainment or against me.
So whatever the perps do is pointless. I respect and fear them about as much as I have seen they respect my intelligence or personal power.
Which is non existent.
The US is about BIG MONEY. BIG GAMES. Its not about respecting someone like me, its about supporting people like Jake or Julie and giving my mother a pay off for her role as a Judas, though they probably dont respect her all that much due to her moral weakness and low station in life.
There is a good reason I feel watched through the windows at The Women's Center (always from the direction of the Boston skyline). There has to be a good reason. That reason is that no one has ever had any true human rights values in this country. Its history is that of a destructive nation geared only towards greed and the exploitation of others for thier own ends. There may be worse places but there certainly are better ones as well, more suited to my personality and tastes.
The most distasteful part in this is that so much sexual abuse was used and still there is this attitude of laughing it up at my expense, then laughing it up in my face and eventually wanting to get me to believe they are laughing WITH me...then settling down and moving on and forgetting all that happened, eventually making nice or peace with this system and this culture and this country.
That has got to be the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced about this campaign in all the horrible things that have happened to me.
The people who laugh at us or like today at the other day drop in earlier, where two women's eyes met in reference to me and it was all amusement. One of these women was involved very overtly when I was being gang stalked early on in shelters. First of all she's a God freak so lets not pay her any mind to begin with second of all she hate prostitutes. She is the one that along with Christine thought it was funny that "some women cant get out of it" referring to organized crime keeping certain women down so they cant get out of prostitution. What kind of fellow female involves themselves in supporting the crimes of men? Women that dont deserve any consideration and aside from how I treat such women superficially do not EVER think I have forgotten the way I was treated.
Laugh it up. Becuz I am keeping score of every hurt every abuse and every person who laughed at torture. Its the way I am marketed in the USA that keeps people in amusement over my situation. Either that or its marketed as a cultural fantasy for men, and i was told that to my face by someone. That the thrill was "..especially when there is nothing she can do about it", in reference to keeping a woman in one of these campaigns or controlled like this.
America is so far gone as a nation, so removed from exposure to terrorism, strife, poverty or other real life events as well as so isoloated from other cultures that they truly do NOT understand what they are doing is murder or that its damaging. Americans are dangerous and brainwashed...dangerous becuz they are well kept by thier overseers with rewards that keep them supporting an abusive system. They arent overtly oppressed.
So in a place where destroying my life has never been taken seriously why would I give anyone what they want? I live in shelters and all my assets for a better life have been destroyed, that is giving many people what they want above and beyond what should have been.
Youve got people like this kid from Bare Necessities camp in Rainbow, Polar Bear, telling me that everything I once had was totally replaceable but I am doing myself in by continuing to make a big deal about all this. He actually named the police as the destroyers as well. That everything the police destroyed was totally replaceable.
WTF? Do you see how bad this is? Nobody understands what is really going on.
But people know the severity of this, I know they do. The point is to minimize my reactions so that I will live through this and be handled into forgetting about it all. Brainwashed into it.
Alot of NA people knew who was doing this. Don this older guy in Narcotics Anonymous from Watertown who makes awnings, first of all total suspect pedophile. Second of all he was one of the only people who warned me. We were in his van giving me ride home from an NA meeting. He stopped our conversation and out of nowhere started to tell me this random story about his neighbor downstairs who kept accusing him of having an x-ray machine in his apartment that was giving her radiation poisoning when in fact it was his refrigerator making such noises. It seemed very important to let me know that story.
As this campaign went on I realized that I soon would be tortured and so gas lighted that I to would begin to be driven to such madness. His story acted as a sort of inoculation against the mind being driven to madness by psy ops and torture. Which means that this is way more sinister and involved than its let on, that other people know full well what is going on not just me and a few choice people and that NA or people in it were involved which I could map out already. It must have meant that he overheard of a plan to drive me totally nuts over time.
It also means that he somehow knew that this would work on me to shield me mentally.
It also means ultimately that I am probably right about NA having major connections to pedo rings and working very hard to protect those people and thier connections in any given community.
That kid Kim today, she may very well just think the situation revolves around Jake and his brat rich kid friends, that supposed "hard core" crowd he joined to get what he wants out of life (yeah super hard core. Whatever) but I know damn well its moreso to protect Julie and at higher levels my mother's family as well as to ensure that I recall nothing and if I do that I will not be believed.
These people truly believe that thier families, their daddies thier asshole rich crowd is so privileged that little peasants like me are just born to live and die for THEM. To them its perfectly natural. No conscience whatsoever. I always got that creepy vibe from those meetings. That so many people in there had a quiet caste system going. Anyone who I thought was on my level come to find out that they secretly came from a very rich family.
Mary my sponsor would tell me that I put on such a good front that no one realized that I was having a hard time. Anything to rationalize abuse from the mob.
Its unfortunate but most people around the programmed person either know whats up or when its time for them to be targeted they go along with it and usually its set up that way, the person is kept down and surrounded by sleazy, immoral people so when it comes time to go after them if they break programming, everyone will just stand aside or assist in destroying them.
Its not that everyone is in on mind control projects or torture is that the mc victim is kept in a certain crowd that will be useful to the system when it comes time to destroy them. If they were surrounded by moral people it probably means that they are not a victim of mind control to begin with. Who would have sold them out to the system then to begin with? The person doesnt have a chance from day one which is why pedo families are controlled and used to gain slaves from.
I actually had someone in NA try to warn me about my family once. That they mistreated me and I just did not get it, it always seemed normal. How was i to know any different?
And yes this does mean that there is a conspiracy of people who like the idea of children being sex objects, these cults. Of people who turn a blind eye to such things or help perpetrators in what they are doing. Why women are in on this is the same reason that mothers of children with abusive fathers dont do anything or assist the father. What that reason is I dont understand nor am I going to try to explain what I dont understand.
but there is an entire subculture out there that totally devalues women like me and is socially acceptable within American society.
All but the most genuinely moral or upstanding elements of our society or people who's class goes against such ideas are most likely in support of or at least dont care to penalize such behavior. this is why in my situation alot of 'regular guys' would be more geared towards validating me being mistreated due to sex work being involved as opposed to mind control slavery originating in childhood. Their culture goes against that sort of thing so they are marketed to on another level thus the campaign gains thier compliance as well as thier cooperation.
Most of all people just do NOT care enough for my fate to matter to much of anyone. Another expendable person who no one had the power to protect from destructive factions.In a country this size, with as much sh*t as is going on right now no one is going to notice or care, which is why 2003 was the perfect time to start such nasty campaigns on individuals.
Therefore any mind games that are played by multi stalkers which is what I have been experiencing lately should not affect my decision making. Whatever they are trying to do whether it be mobbing for whatever reason or psych warfare to get me to suicide, go back into the business or just go quietly onto a life as an average ugly fat person with no high intelligence or talents, which i think is what they are aiming for considering that is thier level and that is what they did to my formerly beautiful mother, or if they are trying to get me to confess carelessly...it doesnt matter. In the end no one is going to listen anyway, I'll be written of as insane like my father and ignored. My work will probably be stolen as many TI' know this system actually does steal ideas life long.
My telling my story only provides the info for another Hollywood movie to trivialize my struggle.
there is no justice in this and there is no life for me here in the USA. As long as I stay in this country I will always be treated like a slave as black slaves were treated. Laws dont seem to apply to me as they did not apply to the country's forefather's black slaves.
And unlike blacks, we are going to have no saviors or Abe Lincolns or civil wars to free us. The USA would collapse without underground black markets and trafficked, exploited humans used for slave labor (in capacities from drug mules to spies to sex objects to human recording machines to assassins).
There is no way out of this. The perps and everyone who is involved on whatever level they think they are playing on or for whatever reason they believe it to be occuring will not change what they are doing or what is happening. Its the way of the USA. And I would be the first mind controlled slave to receive a fair deal which I have never heard of happening yet to anyone else.
I know the situation is hopeless so I go on doing things my way becuz there is no other way. The perps' way is death- wether it be a walking death living denying the true Self or suicide.
Thinking that any action they take will sway me is just more of the games being played which it seems are more of a focus than any final result aimed for from such actions.