I just feel worse every month. Its my own fault really I have not been strong enough to get the things done here I need to and be gone. I should be in the desert right now and I am feeling that readily. I think its time to just make appointments and just blow through it. Yes I am most likely going to get the same perp assholes as doctors (or more likely their secretaries). And I am going to get the same denial of my allergic reactions being induced by anaphylaxis that I got from that bullshit allergy center in SD Cali. But I had two other doctors before that tell me it is indeed the reason that I have allergic reactions to things now. They both said it takes the body a long time to return to normal (a year already? WTF? I was told 14 days by the ER doctors).
The gang stalking system wants a person like me to suffer like this as well as not seek medical attention. They are hoping that perhaps an incident involving my allergies will finally take me out most likely. And if I even have a shot as suing they want to make sure like the mold exposure incident that I lag behind for the duration of the 3 year open time period to sue (like they did with OLNICK and the mold exposure) or just never get accepted by any good lawyers to begin with.
One guy I knew until he got too greedy about money a year or so ago, even slipped once and admitted that everyone pretty much knows that mold exposure situation did me in. "It f*cked you up for life" he slipped one day. It seems that people around the country seem to know that too, at least people in on knowing my situation. I coughed hard and it sounded horrible in a sh*t town near Berkeley summer '09 and a bunch of blacks there looked more guilty than I have seen anyone here looking. Some town outside of the Bay area that Obama was supposed to rebuilt soon or something.
So much damage has been done and it just keeps snowballing. And people have to ignore me and suppress the truth in order to get out of the consequences. A campaign like this has to be agreed upon by all parties- that the person is indeed expendable and written off. That all are satisfied with the possible outcomes (suicide, insanity etc) becuz so many people are involved in destroying the person that they cant afford one leak of exposure.
(Why am I getting flashes of the OLNICK apartment's landlady's son, Chuck Pettiti? Weird.)
Anyway, once yer targeted its pretty hard to get out as you are pretty much considered dead by all parties involved. There is little way out of that. Exposes are nice but they can be just as ignored as the Target or the actions against them were for years anyway. I have to prepare for that..the deadening silence that will follow an expose or account of events.
Heavy, deadening silence.
This system seeks to deprogram a person like me til they get used to life and living. Till they value life and want to hang onto it. Thus they have internalized consciously a fear of death. And believe me once that happens they really own you as then this system IS death.
You can never ever afford to love life the way you were discovering to when waking up out of programming. That is the one thing they want to take from you as its thier greatest power over you.