That fake tooth that was part of the tooth beside it's decay as a cavitation in my jaw is acting up again. When this thing hurts it goes all way up the side of my face. I was told that the original root canal was probably not done right as it did hurt alot afterwords and it shouldnt have with no nerves left. It was done by this total idiot in Chelsea who was a buddy of my old associate and 'friend'. I will never forget the way she ignored me totally, the way only a total sociopath can when I was in so much pain from it being root canaled. It was done very cheaply and the crown was also done very cut price and it has lasted many years I have to say, a person in my financial situation could not have afforded a crown otherwise.
I sometimes think that she was so targeted herself that she just wanted someone with her at all times out in public, and at this point I can totally understand that. I must have seemed like a naive yet loyal friend compared to what she had to deal with usually.
I miss my old life, my old friends. This system has ripped me away from those things which was ridiculous and unfair. During the time this system came after me I was growing out of my old friendships-so whoever believes that this was necessary for reforming me, think again. That is just another deception in this system.
What is interesting is that while nursing the pain in my face I sat down in Harv Sq off to the side, against the magazine store. I just wanted to be alone and in pain all by myself. Totally drained when it gets like this, dont want to talk much. Cant take any medicine due to allergic reactions induced by Bactrim one year ago this December..
I was approached by two OLDER Asian men and one younger brunette girl who pretty much looked like many of the kids around Harv Sq. She knelt down and they stood watching her. She wanted to talk about God. A friend of mine is an atheist and intolerant so excused himself, I usually would have been more intolerant but I was in no mood to expend any sort of energy at all. And frankly the multi colored booklet she had interested me so I just sat back and took it as story time with some cool colored booklet. It was kinda smart of them to have another white brunette with dark eyes approach me, like a mirror image,though her build was much skinnier than mine ever was even at that age, rather shapeless.
I might also have been interested on a subconshus level to see what these older men were doing with a younger girl. Usually these types all travel in a peer group. And they standing and watching her was curious also.
As she spoke I noted the men watching her and keeping an eye on her 'performance'. Towards the end I sensed that she was nervous due to thier pressure on her to get her point across to me. If I had not been through much of what I have, I may have been swayed by what is really a sort of terrorist/hostage bargaining situation. In order to 'save' her from them I had to be convinced and take on what she was preaching. I kept calm and really started to analyze the situation from a cult point of view though she did seem very into this sort of thing of her own Will and said that she was very 'dark' and lost before joining, being with Christ all that line. But I know from experience that one can never tell if someone has been brainwashed during a time in life when they were vulnerable.
She then asked if she could pray for anything and I suggested my tooth. I was nice to them all and especially to the two men who still seemed disatisfied that I hadnt converted right then and there or whatever result they wanted. She asked me at one point if I thought one could be friends with God, I simply told her that this was a heavily Catholic place and its not quite put that way. She was a nice enough kid really.
Then came the offer of a bible and I told her next time she sees me.
She comes back a bit later with a bible she bought from the bookstore. I tried to decline but she claimed she would be sad if I didnt take it. I am going to give it to someone who really wants it and needs it for Xmas gift. There are some street people here who seem to very much enjoy reading it and they are friendly enough. Christianity is thier business and it should stay that way.
Perhaps this is also a very Catholic attitude, the privacy involved and taking things deadly serious. Being 'friends' with God is interesting but there is so much heavy content related to the Christian God its a bit hard to see this god as a friend.
ALL I know is that there is much deception going on right now and something very sinister has come into play during Bush and it still continues now. It must be set right and the people must be told outright about the technologies that exist that can be used to enslave mankind. What is most odd is that the people that seem to want to enslave man are both Christian as well as Satanic and it often relates back to connections with the Nazi human experimentation that has led to decades of research on human behavior, controlling said behavior, brainwashing, mind control and behavior modification. All I know is that Man has a right to his Will or he would not have been given such a thing as part of his Nature. THAT is all I believe in and its all I am sure of anymore.
She also mentioned as she displayed one of the colors in the booklet of colored pages that the white pages were representing purity and that man could never gain such purity of Spirit by deeds only by going to God. The most interesting was the pages that were red, representing Jesus coming down to earth for us. Yet another obvious indication of a blood payment or human sacrifice. With a backround in RA that is never ever going to convince someone like me of anything except that humans are always trying to find some way to legitimize thier blood lust in some way or wash the 'sin' from such an act. As long as humans insist on including such acts as part of thier philosophies, there can never be peace, unless its through brainwashing and its totally false and based on deceptions. Since humans have to kill to eat and fight to protect themselves then earth cant really be truly peaceful, so man must make peace with himself over having to live in mammalian bodies that need. Personally I believe that man should improve social conditions based on his life experience and any talent he has. We all need to become elders as we age. These complicated and ritualistic philosophies can lead only to wasting time, of course arguing over who is correct, which of course will always lead to more blood shed.
Humans in my experience are bizarre at times. Whenever I look into store windows and see manequins or other strange things this society does I often get confused or cant understand thier thinking.
As I look at the people in Harv Sq as I write this, taking that last thought into consideration, I wonder what it would be like if they had no stores to shop in? Would they even find a reason to be here? If nothing was here to amuse them- nothing to consume. The stores, thier windows and the human like figures with clothes hanging on them are like a world full of mirrors. Its something that they seem to prefer to reality or the idea of just being in a body on this planet. Every city is a containment area for humans and it requires constant reflections to keep them imprisoned and engaged. This is also due to my not being allowed to grow or to take part in society, I suppose if I had freedom the city might seem like more of a place of recreation and resource for me.
But consumerism is way too overrated as a way of life.
I looked up her organization and of course knew I would find some dirt on it.
And most interesting:
I love the idea that lower class people cannot make any changes for themselves spiritually. This seems to be the kind of nonsense that only assists the totally Satanic forces let loose in the world when Bush got in that still persevere who's sentiment is 'enslave mankind' and the new tech and alot of the results of decades of human experimentation has given them the ability to do just that. I would say that they are more hindrance than help right now. ANYTHING that enslaves is not recommeded for humans, in case you didnt know that already.
This is where it gets confusing like I said. Gods people want to keep you down, elitist Satanists want to enslave you and the Jews seem to support Satanic activity due to its anti Christian sentiment except in many cases the Nazi connected Satanic factions but then they may keep tight with any other Satanic faction if not Jews themselves.
The Satanists position is clear. Its the Christians who dont know what they are doing or are being used under cult mind control by people in power that muck things up really. They actually unknowingly assist any and all efforts to enslave mankind.
Or could it be that a more powerful hidden faction appreciates both sides for thier abilities to get any and all humans under SOME sort of control whether it be Satanic or Christian.
The key is MIND CONTROL not philosophy.
I hope that nice girl finds her way in life. Only to be happy is the goal. What is the greatest crime is when someone is unhappy as I was and they are not allowed to find themselves, evolve or gain happiness by thier own Will. To break someone down, destroy their mind and lower thier intelligence to create a happy mindless lobotomy patient is NOT true happiness.
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