Not doing well--still stuck in TX

I keep ending up back in the same place as it is somewhat social and the least harassment I get anywhere. But there are health issues. I often dont feel well..I may be fond of Mexican culture but I have to be realistic..I dont have a Mexican stomach. (by the way for any American who has a problem with Mexicans, I have a wake up call for you. ALL Mexicans are NATIVE to the land theylive on..Mexico/central north america. Can YOU say the same? Unless you have native american in your family line shut the hell up. They are part of the orginal indiginous population of this land. The very concept of them 'invading the usa' is so ironic that its laughable. But this is the kind of fantasy that America is about and this country lives in. Disney World is great..screw the natives though. Go straight to Hell. Alot of them in, say, NM will say they are Spanish and not native. This is typical of the ignorance that the oppressors wants to keep everyone in..for them to not understand they are native. Look in the mirror. Unless you look Spanish from Europe, yer native American..just from way more south than the natives from say New Mexico.

I cannot believe how humans judge according to the false hoods that are imposed that are illogical upon examination. The lines on the map are real, the false man made enviroment is ALL.
Bull shit. Open yer f*cking eyes.)

Anyway, I like this culture and its curiosities. Lokita and saying someone is 'crazy' is not going to get you medicated or sent to a counselor. It is simply the idea that you are off today or some of your behaviors are eccentric. Its actually sort of funny. Locita is a pet term for woman who are off the wall or crazy in what used to be 'a good way' ( or creative) before the USA proper turned into a paranoid, totally controlled society.

Thier perception of hygiene is circa 1976 and no one dies readily due to this. El Paso in general is like that. Up north no one dares to drink from someone's soda or drink anymore..unless they have been intimate lately.

And they arent insane about thier kids getting hurt. And thier kids are generally happy babies I have observed. Not long faced and depressed in the stroller already (like Boston or Cambridge for instance).

Monkeys are a strangely popular stuffed animal and in caricutures for ads....as teddy bears are in the USA. People are referred to as monkey as a pet term. Chango or Changa.

The men are very concerned with being, well manly but not with the obnoxious intrusiveness that american males seem to have. They dont show off for me by being annoying..they show off for thier wives and girlfriends. This must mean they are somehow more secure in their manhood than other types of men.
And they arent trying to talk to me every 2 minutes in hopes of eventually wearing me down til one of the tribe 'gets with me'. This culture knows how to politely mind its own business.
There is an innate class in this culture, a way of handling oneself, even among the poorest I have seen in El Paso.
I havent gone over the border, sadly due to my situation I feel its too risky.

Is it dangerous?..probably. Is it psychically, mentally and emotionally as dangerous as mixing with other cultures in this country?..HELL NO. There is no breaking and entering of the soul or one's mind.

However, due to the language barrier I am intellectually stifled. Its lonely, but I have done lonely all my life anyway.

The Catholicism is familiar but annoying. Yet another culture that isnt afraid to have a female deity with some power..like Italy or Celtic..oops I mean Ireland (wink).
You can see the churches influence on the native population and it is sad to watch. Like other cultures such as Italy they retain thier character however.

They are racist at times. They refer to me as Gringa at times. I dont mind this. I am sick of the USA with its 'we all have to get along' BS, while all the while corruption continues and gang stalking destroys lives. But they always ask me if I have eaten, or why I dont feel well. I get lots of smiling at my attempts to cpmmunicate in only a very limited konwledge of words.

However the problem is where I am. Its targeted no doubt.
Its hard. Its the safest place I have stayed, yet I cant get anything done there and if I go up into the US, I get harassed almost constantly.

I am tolerant and appreciate people putting good energy forward if that is what THEYwant to do with thier lives. However, you know what will happen if any religion gets too close to me internally. Its leave or die over the border somewhere.
I keep thinking maybe the pyramids down in Mexico city. Its such a shame I want to see that.

And to die there is so...much better than dying just randomly somewhere.

So I am not quite sure what to do. I know the gs in the south west is always going to be constant and the shelters are sh*t. California is a nightmare. There really is no safe place to go.

Which is totally unfair, none of this should have ever happened.
The gang stalking system over a lifetime and over many years of intensity recently has made me weak. Physically mentally and emotionally.
I am a smart strong female of an athletic build. The oppression I have encountered has served to make me average or below average probably in ever aspect of my life.

The perps, who all live in a cult mind controlled fantasy world, will see only the product of thier oppression of someone. They never dare to think what you could have been had you not been enslaved your whole life and now gang stalked heavily.

THEY ARE NOT REALISTS. Nor are they able to use their imaginations as they should.

They are not the kind who have total control of their perceptions which is why they HAVE to attack people wh0 do.

A true grown up on this planet, sees the moon at night and knows according to science that it is only appearing to shine due to the fact the sun is on the other side of the earth reflecting on it.
That it is only a dead rock and that it is the earths satellite. Once all the realism of the situation is taken into consideration, then one has earned the right to relax and enjoy illusion. Then one can be an innocent resident of earth and see how beautiful the moon looks in the sky tonite. How it appears to only be a sliver like Cheshire cat smiling on Alice.

You have a right to highly intelligent, realistic, scientific and ALSO an artist and a sensualist.

The culture we live in now hates artists, hates sensualists, hates the truly 'sexy' people of the world in favor of silicone jobs and plastic surgery. They hate the truly hateful, the passionate, the truthful, the honest. There seems to be a paranioa about people who can control thier perceptions and use critical thinking.

I once pointed out to a few people that thier classes in a certain subject would feed into other subjects, the way the old masters were astute at math science and art etc. \
This concept seemed unthought of by most people. They think (are trained to think) Devinci etc are isolated genuises...all that crap from public school history books. Notice how the only presidents you really have to know are on your money?
Anyway, this is not so. Its that everything in this culture is compartmentalized and you are supposed to only percieve things the way it is presented.

I cannot believe that the whole culture is basically compartmentalized and people dont seem to grow out of it. Its bizarre.

A TI is not a stupid person usually. And programmed people are certainly not so.
targets are oppressed thier whole lives into not expressing themselves, not speaking out, not growing, not forming and not becoming anything at all really.

The things they do to a Target are so abusive and cruel, torture really to maintain control, that other people would have folded by now--and they know it. That is why it must be denied and kept secret...so it stays out of the public's mental filters. So its too much for them to handle and they just turn away. Ignore, deny.

Often the person is broken down into being of lowered intelligence, lessened beauty, dead spiritually or compliant with some popular religion instead of independant study...
this is all in the interest of what I last posted.

To destroy so as to reform the person. Its cult mind control and that is all it is.
It has no other value other than that.

The system is most likely supported by people who have alot to hide when it comes to the TI and dont want to be exposed and pay for what they did. Its a way for everyone to get off on the cheap by using abusing a human being, then brainwashing them into forgetting.

Then all the sick f*cks can say that person is 'happy now' and doing well.

I know this is what is planned for me and I wont have it. I will never ever give in to this sort of coercion.
All they can do is waste my time everyday to ensure I get now where or build anything for myself. For thier purposes this is enough.

I feel that everyone who is in on what is happening to the TI is under mind control themselves and either doesnt percieve this or refuses to on some level.

Control freaks rarely want to look at thier own issues.

There is a definate feeling I am getting that someone somewhere is convinced its almost sell out time for me. Weakened, older, failing. Perhaps this is what people wish opposed to what is really true.
We also have an entire generation out there under 25 who are heavily into gs it seems who are incapable of independant thought as well as lack the capacity to use thier imagination. My new motto is 'Dont trust anyone under 36'....ok maybe 30. Maybe.

Most likely they are brainwashed into acting this way and arent old enough to know it yet. I
I feel bad for younger TI's who