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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

JAMA March 18, 2009 Soldier suicides on the rise

JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) March 18, 2009

The article says that many soldiers won't seek help due to the stigma of the mental health system.

Great..and they are soldiers so guess what? They know all about horrors and psych warfare and all the things that we go thru (except the horror of live battle which is really a trade off. TI's lose everything and become tortured prisoners and at least these soldiers have buddies, co workers, families and girlfriends.) They also know that the public have no idea about the experience of a battle situation much less it being a constant ongoing thing.

There fore how could they get help? What would people think? Also its probably not thier way to let the public know how unromantic and heroic war really is..something that's very important lately with the general public being in the modern world very naive about death and true violence. Video games and world of crap craft are VERY different than live action.

Memories can be compartmentalized for 30 years...just like with programmed individuals.

Perhaps alot of these people have memories compartmentalized and cant handle facing them head on. The memories run themselves over and over and there seems to be no control over this process.

Its also very hard for a person who is young to go thru this when their life experience isn't formed yet. Part of thier youth becomes these experiences.

I wonder if its not just the traumatic events they see but how they themselves are traumatized, especially during training. This is perhaps why certain people are selected for mind control programming from inter generational family lines, strangely there seems to be that most survivors have healers in their families or some psychic prowess. Perhaps there is an element of self healing involved, which I have read the military are investigating trying to create a self healing soldier for the future.

Why did my psychiatrist play games with the idea of me having PTSD and not do her job UNTIL she had to turn on me. Then I got this letter with PTSD as a diagnoses, where we had discussed it once and her reply was "well, you could have it" but it was like a joke to her. Like she was playing games. The letter also said other things that were NEVER discussed between us and was NOT part of my prior diagnoses on paper--ever. People were warning me that she was not doing her job and something was wrong.

The letter basically was a math equation that = "this girl is going to snap". I was smart enough to see the set up as well as the fact that she left me some open doors in the letter, knowing me for years she perhaps still sympathized with me and knew I would know how to use the way she wrote the letter to my advantage..though the letter does say on face value what the perps would want it to say.

There is ALOT of interest in PTSD and I don't trust this at all. Not with what I have seen in my own family and the military's record with human experimentation.

It could also be that we live in a world with SO much realistic information at hand that these soldiers simply know too much. They know the full reality of what is happening to them and the enemy..its not like the old days where you could go into ignorance or denial in YOUR little part of the country with your family or friends and leave it all behind.

The article also says that they have to be afraid of guerrilla attacks every day. TI's know that one, psychological attacks anyway. The only difference is that they are not alone when it occurs I am assuming.

Isolating the victim makes alot of difference.

What is so wrong is that they cant get adequate care. But then, these people are supposed to all, potentially not return alive mind you. Perhaps the attitude is 'EXPENDABLE' as far as being human being.

This is the business of wars.

We live in a ridiculous society where people support wars, cry about the results, and then slide right back into PC bs by whining about fixing what is done to human beings during wars.

Neatly compartmentalized and placed hate and sentiment.

There is alot of experimentation with stress going on obviously.

If you are a soldier here is what I have to say to you.

I don't like wars, I am a woman and an artist. This is the typical stance of a person like me historically. However I have a very war like side. My grandparents met in the Marines during WW II. Before I got targeted into being destitute, one of my goals was to volunteer with vets as a way to clear my hatred and misunderstanding of my grandfather.

As an old man he still would become nervous if half asleep in his den chair at the simply clicking on of a certain light switch. I could see the look of 'this is it I am gonna die now' in his eyes. He told me the light sounded like a certain kind of gun clicking and he would kid me he thought I was a Jap or German.

He was given pain killers once for heart surgery and in his sleep tried to strangle my grandmother. Later he said he had memories from the war and that "I saw men die I aint seen die in 50 years and I don't wanna see it again".

This tells me that the reality of his youth was part of the reality of his life FOR LIFE. It also tells me his memories were compartmentalized.

I don't agree with what the US asks of you but I do believe in free will and if you chose to be part of this then it is up to you.

IF you feel you are going to do something like suicide keep in mind that there might be some human experimentation going on. You could even be targeted by the tech that is used on TI's. You could have your situation complicated by having been exposed to drugs or chemicals. I met a man from Desert Storm that had a rash that never went away and he said it was from his time over there. That everyone got exposed to something.

Now there is just the psychology of the human mind to deal with.
If you are afraid to seek help publicly or on paper try to find some sort of grey area, like other soldiers, older soldiers, some sort of therapist who would perhaps do it on the quiet.
I am used to getting around systems, it is part of my programming and part of the way I have survived being targeted. You are probably, from what I recall from the way my family did things, used to following a system to survive.
Part of coming out of being conditioned is to think for yourself. You may have to do that to get the help you need.

If you keep it inside it will work on you until you do suicide. There is not need for disclosure or groups. There has got to be a way for you to get what you need without personal risk to you and your career.

Drugs and drink and violence will only band aid the problem or make suicide more attractive.

But remember one thing. Humans die and humans kill. People have been doing this for thousands of years and you are not the first dirty dirty dog on this planet.
I am not a man. I have no idea about the way men process thier emotions or ideas or experiences.
But self healing may be helpful. How men do it I dont know.

Suicide is IN ANY CASE, giving the world what it wants. THAT would be the ultimate surrender to what is now the internal enemy. They got rid of another victim witness to war and death. They got rid of another soldier who grew up and now rallies against wars in his later years.

Also your brain chemistry is most likely altered from battle especially re deployments..over and over.

I believe that there is something in there about how to get confidential care.
And it could be that certain soldiers are actually trying to be RESPONSIBLE by suiciding. They are trained and they know this. Perhaps if the pressure gets too much they feel that opposed to hurting others, they would take thier own lives.

And ultimately, it may be that a soldier actually would end up breaking the very conditioning that keeps him/her in shape and programmed for battle if they went outside that 'system' and started leaking memories. Perhaps they fear they will be non functional if they 'talk'.

All I know is that I dont like and am suspect of the high suicide rates, with all the other things that seem to be going on.

The tough guy thing is great, especially to keep functioning. But suicide is pretty much the end. Its not always the military's theatre. You are an individual in this body on this earth. Your life is YOUR theatre. Don't let anyone rob you of that.

The manipulative ad during the war for the army that said "There is a difference between getting over and getting over yourself"..well now its time to get back into Your Self.
You are not the property of the core or the military for life as they would love you to believe.
I see human experimentation is an arrogant statment to just that ' we can do what we like with soldiers and thier families'. Whatever.

Inside you somewhere there must be part of yourself that didn't get taken hostage by your circumstances. That you saved just for yourself. Or perhaps you can go inside yourself and seek a certain calm that is in there.

They took your youth, don't let them take your life as well.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hear that a lot to, like "ha now watch, he is going to flip out now" after a particularly stupid and hateful directed conversation filled with insults, slander, some of the most ridiculous stuff you've ever heard. Man, it was like the Farce from Hell... all kinds of ridiculous "facts" about me, things alleged about me. And then I did hear this one guy saying things like "oh I heard he doesn't like change. But don't worry, he'll change eventually". But that was just a blatant mirroring of your material.

Some of these f-ers are very creepy with their slander. It's like "whoa man, what the hell"... I can't believe what I'm hearing half of the time. Trying to allege I'm all these things, from a druggie, to "you like little boys", something they were saying back in 2003/4. I guess that little tidbit was to re-traumatize me or whatnot.

You will hear a good deal of insane bullshit. Kind of like "yeah, that Mozart guy... he was so dumb, and wouldn't change. And I heard he was a druggie who played with little boys and cheated on his wife". On top of that, Mozart would have to listen to members of his "freakshow" tell him "you suck" as they were wearing a smirk as he was walking down the street.

Yeah, fricking outrageous bullshit. I guess it's because humans in general are hardwired to just mimick everyone and everything else, and go with the flow... kind of this built-in conformist "pack instinct".

BTW, the slander I heard was something about "herpes". A couple of days earlier, I was "gay". I dunno. It's outrageous, as I am not sexual promiscuous in any way shape of form. I think it's astounding that people just go along with this without a second thought. Or, they're just afraid not to, as they are hardwired for this follow-the-pack, do as your neighbor does things.

AJH said...

About your family history, especially your PTSD grandfather. Are you aware that there is intergenerational inherited trauma, and in your case, you would have (or might have) some elements of your grandfather's war trauma associations. It was Dr. Gabor Mate who first made this known to me in his book, Scattered Minds (Scattered in the US), and one of his students was my ADD counsellor, and she did a MA thesis on this topic.

Link; http://www.drgabormate.com/
Take care.
AJH