The Power Within

The Author Is Dedicated To Readers and Principals

Any further threats using my name will be considered retaliation for whistleblowing as well as victim witnesses intimidation.

MICROSOFT TRANSLATOR

DISCLAIMERS

Please be advised that this written work of mine is only THEORY. It's theorizing, pondering and amateur research. I have no belief in anything posted here because if I did I would have had legal action taken by now-until that occurs this blog can only be considered theorizing.

For years I've had here a disclaimer that says I'm often sleep deprived when posting due to my lifestyle as a houseless Traveler (and my age as well as health issues). This should be taken into consideration when viewing my posts and vids on the connected YouTube channel.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Black helicopters protect TI's/ The ignorant public misunderstand the TI's situation daily

A YouTube commenter left a comment that the black helicopters were to protect Targets like me. That many federal agents were on my side.

I realize that there may be authorities at all levels on the side of Targeted Individuals but much of what is done is NOT to be helpful or protective. Much of what is done is simply part of organized stalking and harassment which is a sophisticated system of psychological warfare to drive the targeted person to suicide and if that doesnt work it goes on to become a very harsh and inhumane behavior modification program to destroy the person and remake them as a robotic, silenced victim witness through forced conformity.

The gang stalking system works so well to single out the Target then make them so humiliated and guilt ridden that if they dont kill themselves, they will be brainwashed into believing that they either deserved punishment, needed reform for a better life or were truly a danger to themselves and others thus what has been done to them is for the best. This is ultimately done through cult mind control techniques exactly what cults use to brainwash thier victims, but this is done nationally if not internationally, using public and private spaces.

There is hardly a person alive who could withstand these tactics and survive or remain unchanged. Torture is the main thing that is utilized in these programs.

I dont believe that black helicopters were there to protect me. They were there to harass me. The white vans I experienced around the Brighton area and also when I was on art modeling gigs, that had perps in them often with computers at the drivers seat- that was harassment plain and simple. The only thing that they seemed to do at one point was to get me out of a modeling gig where the people hiring me were just messing with me, probably knowing I was programmed. They had me do portrait sittings with very hot lights shining in my face. As I write this, someone, somewhere is hoping that I have forgotten the name of that person as well as the address of the modeling gig. A large part of my campaign is to get me to forget everyone's information totally so I cant name the people who I knew before as well as those who screwed me over.

I would struggle to stay awake under these hot lights and I think that these people were just doing this to amuse themselves, perhaps knowing my status as a mind control victim. It was akin to torture really. And I notice that when I got targeted more heavily and white vans started showing up with perps in them at that gig and around my home in Brighton, the man who hired me for these gigs not only got very nervous but canceled all future bookings very quickly.

This may be a game of good cop bad cop but it also may be that whoever is in those white vans does not want an asset messed with and whatever this social group was who thouth they were so superior to me and smarter than I due to being affluent, had somehow gotten into compartments with sensitive information and there was some risk of either exposure of information or triggering programming. Either way they looked very UNsuperior pissing themselves with fear once those vans showed up.

However, those same people who protect me against outsiders accessing programming through careless experimentation or playing games with an asset, are also the same people who served to dole out torture and harassment that is part of getting me totally silenced about all of this using the gs campaign as a behavior modification program. NO ONE can be trusted in these games.

------------------------------------

This morning the north Africans in the convenience store I asked him what about Halloween costumes, he asked me about my plans I said "No money" he then said "You lots of money" to which I disagreed. He then said this again and pointed to his head "You have lots of money up here, you just dont want to use it". This is really an example of how the general public who only know cover stories or talk to police (hopelessly corrupt) to get the story on someone and totally misjudge the person. I do use my mind which is one of the only reasons I am still walking around not dead right now. And I cant get ahead in life if I cant get a safe place to live or work somewhere without harassment or being targeted in other ways that are even more hindering. The gang stalking system ensures that the person lives as if they never existed and there is not much one can do to counter this. People cant be trusted or they turn on you when they learn your status or they were full of shit the whole time.

People only see the person as the smear campaign paints them or if they are aware of thier status as victims of mind control the American mindset is very unaccepting of mind control or brainwashing. Americans truly believe they live under thier own WIll and the system at large that basically has them brianwashed everyday is not going to reveal the truth just to validate the stories of a few expendables.

It also invalidates everything that the Target has done to stay alive and sane through the ordeal of 'gang stalking'. Its like they arent doing enough which is total bullshit. These types of people however are told more lies about the persons situation to cover what is really going on.

I replied to him "I need to fix this first (heart) before I can use this (head)". He then started asking what happened and I just ended it there.

There is firstly the Cambridge pd that they could be hearing info about me from which of course would be biased considering thier small but significant part in the harassment during my suing OLNICK years ago. The Harvard U police were more into gang stalking me around my apartment in Brighton than straight Cambridge pd.

Also there is a retired detective who still carries his badge around the square. I wont mention specifics but if you are familiar with pedos and other shady characters involved in this or have had to deal with such things in life, you know how to spot certain characteristics. At any rate, the amount of cops involved in this who must know damn well the what my mother's family is about but have chosen to protect and side with them at my expense, is a great number. Many of them are either aware of pedophiles or incestuous rotten families or themselves engage in such behaviors. Some people take on jobs of authority so that they can help others or its part of thier personality to do so but often people take on jobs in trusted positions of authority so that they can either abuse vulnerable people or help 'manage' victims of predators as they themselves can sympathize with such behaviors.

These are all sources of disinformation that the public hear about the targeted person from.

Every time I write something like this, occasionally I am in a place where I can see myself as an average person must see me. It all seems made up I am sure- contrived or imagined. But if one looks at the videos of the President's Advisory Committee the therapist presenting the case says this about the harassment that many victim witnesses. That it sounds incredible or hard to believe and then sights many other examples of harassment. Then Duncan Thomas of the committee says it sounds like a program with a high level of organization that "involves many people OUTSIDE the CIA." This describes organized stalking and harassment.

Under these circumstances it is very hard to live normally or produce any work. And it does more psychological damage to the Targeted person for people to believe that they are simply lazy or being stubborn.

I have actually had perps, very overt nasty ones, tell me out of nowhere that I am just being stubborn. One mentioned my "Italian stubbornness". So cultural genetics is the main reason that I wont be broken psychologically and give in to behavior modification? I think its more than that. How can so many people not see that this is innately wrong? That justice, the simple concept of justice is the only true motivator in this? Its such a simple concept, why is it rejected so readily?

I can understand the ignorant or the people who believe life is just simply as it seems or very straightforward. I guess when we look at just who knows about the Target's situation we understand that as TI's we are asking the public to accept a scenerio that is just not in thier realm of belief. To ask them to believe that there is indeed abuse of people that is that prevalent and its covered up by authorities is asking too much, to say its organized as it is- unbelievable. Then to make a full claim of things such as mind control, programming with occult involvement as well as the misuse and abuse of technologies by military or other powerful forces is going past what people can accept. Not only do they not want to admit that such sinister actions exist but that authority is that corrupt. People like to think that cruelty is random or exists in certain situations. Like stalking. Its accepted that a single stalker can cause such psychological damage to thier victims. No one seems to want to accept the existence of multi stalkers or stalking/harassment groups whether they are professionals or not.

Friday, October 29, 2010

A Note To Readers

Please in mind I am heavily targeted and have sustained much damage. Emotional, psychological and physical. I exist under curses and have for some tine now daily.
These conditions are why the people bow down to this system as well as victims don't want to stand up for themselves. Does being targeted this way sound like a life (and death) you would want?

Being programmed we react differntly than. Most people would. And they know exactly how to manipulate individual targeted Survivors of programming.

After a while you go into denial about the system trying to kill you. No one can exist that way for that long. No human being can take this much hate and survive without coping mechanisms. And they do use hate and isolation to xestroythe TI.

They create elaborate scenerios and dream like situations for the TI to li be in.

Its all about ensuring the word never gets out to the public that MK Ultra was real and as severe as it was. That America is guilty of war crimes. And that the very content of those early days has brought a psycho civilized society into being as now mass mind control is a reality.

Daily I am either harassed and psych warfare is used or managed in a heavy rtech /chemical use area like Boston or San Diego to ensure that I focus on other parts of this situation cover stories etc and lose focus on the simple truth that my mother is a documted radiation experimentee related to MK Ultra and I am a Survivor of high level mind control slave programming.

Its that damn simple but I have been handled so long and isolated and threatened and brainwashed that every minute of every day I feel bad about my situation,especially being either rejected by society due to the severity of the harassment or due to the public actually believing co er stories, which kills me and they know it so they work that angle constantly in the harassment.

Average people get off on killing someone this important to Power which seems to be the main motive above and beyond all Perp's personal or other business motives for harassing, gaslighting or being negligent with Targets.

Its difficult for me to just face the situation and stay focused due to having been manipulated to not do that specifically over these many years. And the tech and tracking and mapping in some areas is so sophisticated that everything I take in mentally like music vids or read or see and hear is used to build up those false scenarios and false environments. For instance if I finally have the sense to watch the MK Ultra testimonies or just that one vid #10 that is compelling, there isn't much they can do with that so I notice my mind clears of falsehoods and constant bs. But who can live focused on that everyday exclusively?

I am often posting very tired backpacking across the USA or in a location that may be very difficult to navigate due gs or related activity.

There is also much in the way of behavior modification with many TI's especially Survivors of mind control who can be connected to MK Ultra as I can through my mother being a radiation experimentee in the 1950's.
Many people who are targeted snap or have meltdowns. Many of us are suspect of Mel Gibson's case as he seems to have fallen into the typical 'blame it on the blacks and Jews' theme. This is an actual paranoid state of mind that is INDUCED BY PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE on Targeted persons. Its to discredit the TI and make them out to be just a beligerent bigot. Its main purpose is discreditation.
During Bush many races and religions were unified against him and his administration and the people he was representing with his actions. As Obama took office the goal now seems to be to placate the public and slowly leave TI's behind as well as cause riffs in race and sneakily still support a class war by using race as diversion. There are many African Americans who are activists who are also targeted, that either live as other TI's do or have left the country as other TI's have. One has to remember that any and all people within the public right now are what Malcolm X referred to as 'house slaves'. Afro Centrics will be familiar with this term. Professor Griff of Public Enemy seems to be targeted as are all sorts of activists that see the basic structure of oppression.

All activists are just human and the stress levels and pressures involved in this are ridiculously high. Often I make mistakes or speak out of turn, but remember the odds we all are facing.

I do the best I can on this project for myself and for other Targeted Indivuduals.

Take what you can from these works and be as wise as serpents. Do your own research and question everyone and every piece of info that doesnt sit right with you.

And I wish you Luck.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

http://targetedsurvivor.blogspot.com/2010/10/relief-today.html

The Trackers

Boston Globe did story on electoral spies for candidates.

http://www.courant.com/news/politics/hc-candidate-trackers-0704-20100703,0,650699.story

http://www.boston.com/news/politics/articles/2010/10/28/campaign_trackers_keep_eye_out_for_rivals_miscues/

Welcome to the world of a Target. Except its not supposed to exist. LOL

Oh and for fun:http://www.makeuseof.com/dir/influence-tracker-who-funds-political-campaigns/

A GS Campaign of Destruction Tailored to Women

For some odd reason at exactly 4pm today all remote influence stopped. Its the most relief I have exeperienced in years during the daylight hours.

I was in alot of pain yesterday as I am ovulating and for some reason whenever I am in the Boston area my breasts get noticably larger and my female cycles are much more dramatic. It seems that if I had lived in some other location I dont think my endometriosis would have been as severe as it was in my youth. What causes this in the northeastern US especially metro Boston I am not really sure of but it does seem that my bodies inner workings are more prounounced here. Any pain I have is worse when I am here, my sex drive has always been higher (except near the border of Mexico, its also stronger there as well.)

For years I have noted that the gang stalking system seems to have knowledge of human being's weaknesses in general as well as the Target's personal weaknesses physically, psychologically and emotionally. This along with other indications tells us that this is based on old spycraft, probably thousands of years old but now they simply have new toys due to progress in technologies.

Only the handlers or destroyers of female mind controlled slaves would know that certain women have a predisposition to psychosis when entering menopause and to engineer this against the Targeted Survivor.
Also I understand this to be the case due to a few pervs I have met, older men who have the same profile as most pedos TI's meet within this system, making it clear that they know my situation by intimating so.They then tell of thier young wives or girlfriends who at hitting 40 went crazy as in schizophrenia and always they will blame it on this being the result of women who were abused losing it when they hit this certain age.

This is the ultimate cover story and mind game for anyone in on this system that subjegates first children then the same people as adults so that no one ever finds out the victims are telling the truth about memories form childhood and are always discredited.

We all know that gang stalking is psychological warfare meant to drive a Target crazy, even mimicking schizophrenia and surely its purpose is to discredit the victim. It seems that its par the course for starting to remember such things as RA, human experimentation, being programmed and serving to perform tasks for powerful people and agencies unknown or abuse in general that society does not want to be known to be prevalent.

In my case I read somewhere that exposure to mycotoxins makes Hep C worse and in turn Hep C can induce early menopause. They know this, trust me they worked it out that way. When I make claims that my apartment was water damaged on purpose its on of the more shaky claims I can make due to it really being then looked at as part of a conspiracy. One would have to accept that there was indeed a plot to do harm to me or at least to run me out of my home tied into the harassment and stalking as a whole program. And for me to claim that the mold exposure served the same purpose that LSD did in MK Ultra for interrogation and to reformat a personality after breaking the person down is really asking alot from people. I have posted that the USSR used mycotoxins to dumb down dissidents. This is documented just like thier use of punitive psychiatry on dissidents. In the USA such measures have to be done very delicately and very covertly due to backing the US image as a human rights giant among the worlds nations. A perfect cover story is to blame the victim fully: they are either mentally ill or lying either for attention or to not take responsibility for thier actions. To blame the victim is to deny the existence of corruption within the USA to this extent and on these levels of power- power that is regularly abused per 'doing business'.
In a newspaper interview the local city councilman on trial for bribery, Chuck Turner had told FBI that "If you take out all the corrupt politicians, you take out 90%". That is the beauty of the NWO and the cult of PC. They make efforts that make it appear as if the govt and the nation is being cleaned up but all they do is take down anyone too overt or sloppy to hide well in this new environment of spying and survaillence. So much more goes on that does not make it onto hidden cameras- those are the corrupt people who are safe or serve a purpose that power doesnt want touched.
Recently the attitude towards the war on drugs in south America has not been to end corruption but to ensure that it simply does not interfere with the govts, most likely chosen by America and all for the NWO.

The people who get busted nowadays are only scapegoats and patsys. They are the ones who dont matter so serve to parade in front of the public so that The People think something is actually being done. The sloppy, the obvious, the careless, the unimportant.
Testament to this is the way it was attempted to use harassment and psych warfare to frame me up and take me down in the federal investigations (that led all the way to the Boston FBI offices) instead of taking down the real criminals who are raking in the real money and paying off cops. Many people simply got handed great lives and new gigs or werent touched at all that are well known career criminals. An old associate of mine told me that a man who was busted and put into newspapers was "fully ready to be busted for the things he had done" which told me that her and a group of other corrupt assholes locally were most likely using him to divert attention from more important criminals in the area. They hand the public people who dont matter and tell them that justice is being done.

I assume that the dumbasses locally tried this with me and either did so due to the covert factions involved in mc slavery beleiving it was time for me to be done away with or they cops/mob were trying to mess with me having some idea of what I was and an opposing covert faction handed thier asses to them due to my status as perhaps a continuing experimentee or other such value.
I know one thing- alot of what happened to me seems to be some faction who doesnt know alot about programming trying to find out by experimentation and testing. And those of you who suspect that the NSA or some other faction is all over everything we do I believe this to be true now in the USA. It seems like a net connected by cell phones and survaillence cameras and of course spies on foot. I was curious and wanted to watch a vid on YouTube of a black mass when I was in El Paso which MUST be monitored by some heavies as its right near the border and Juarez. I turned on the video and much to my amazement I started to pass out within moments of watching. This proves to me my theory about SRA but what was more intriguing was I had the feeling that someone was watching this whole scene by surveillance camera as well as via monitoring computer activity, the computers in that university there even have a warning before you log on that you may be monitored.
It bought me some cred with someone, somewhere out in cyber spy land. That I was indeed telling the truth about SRA. Believe I didnt know that would be my reaction to the video and I never tried it again.

There is a faction that does NOT want my expose written and will do anything to stop it from coming into existence. In many locations the system seems to want to quietly reform people like myself- to spiritual cleanse, tame and then form into normal, happy citizens.

Id dont work that way. You cant forcefully cleanse someone even if you use torture, which is what they are doing. The person's Will has to be involved. I think they want citizens who are under control not anyone connected to any kind of outside forces no matter what they are. Which is much worse than RA or mind control in any form could ever be.

My aunt told me once that my dad's mother and her sisters all had a difficult time during menopause, one going completely psychotic and my grandmother throwing knives at people etc. For Italians however this female temperament is often seen as somewhat normal, at least before American Italians bought into being 'white' WASPy types, but they dont count as far as I am concerned.

So the gs system knows I may have a genetic predisposition to psychosis connected to estrogen loss. They seem to use all of the Targets medical info including family info against them. There is alot of heart disease in my mother's family and high blood pressure. For some reason I have never suffered from this and my pressure tends to run low as my temp does too and like many Italians I was born anemic. But this system has done its worst to purposely induce heart damage by various methods even though some paternal genes most likely save me from a fate similar to my mother and grandfather, the system still wants to work that angle. Its the same plan as used on Iranian dissidents- do as much damage as possible for later long term shorter life spans. But this is more sophisticated. Its hoped that when I come up with heart trouble that it will be blamed on genetics (just like they tried with a mental illness label.) No I think it might be due to extreme stress due to severe terror and torture and also being hit with 'non lethal' technologies especially in St Louis MO would have more to do with it. (I have posted that in St Louis I experienced being hit so hard in the heart area that my muscles around my chest cavity hurt and were sore afterwords. St L just did not care. Very violent with a severe use of tech to harm a target.)

They create health problems but the target supposedly will not be able to prove this.

Its clear that knowing my genetic status on psychosis and menopause lead them to also find that they could induce menopause early. Very simply I read years ago during the moldy apartment fiasco that exposure to mycotoxins can worsen Hep C. I then read that Hep C can induce early menopause or make symptoms come about early.

I can certain symptoms in the past years like being hot then cold but its very mild and does not happen during ovulation. But I can feel lower hormone levels in my sex drive being different from younger years. Lessened a bit. Its more the comfort that estrogen provides that I have lost. My memory loss is certainly involved but that is also from years of suffering with damage from mold exposure and also due to whatever tech is used.

If I was let alone to age as nature intended and not interfered with or anything about my physical state altered then this transition would have been alot smoother. Its not that women imagine they are gang stalking targets when they start peri menopause but the gang stalking system targets them with campaigns and programs specifically tailored to their weaknesses in this area.
I have realized as I age that interfering with a woman's transition at this juncture is one of the most damaging things that can be done to a female. There is something empowering about waking up in your 30's that this system does NOT want certain women to experience peacefully and fully.
What are we going to become that they are so afraid of?

Its obvious there are programs like this focusing on certain female Targets as it seems that many people from males in the know to physicians readily use these circumstances to keep older women down. Most likely it starts the downward spiral towards the lower status and being 'put out to pasture' thing that happens in American culture to older women.

Its interesting to see that America is so obsessed with marketing youth and denying women thier rightful power in these bodies on this planet that there exists a sophisticated plan of action to destroy them and hopefully then keep them (us) down.

What are they afraid we'll improve social conditions to an extent that they wont be able to continue to promote this country's culture of waste and consumption?...Oh, right. Of course that is the case.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Traps from the system of forced deprogramming within the internet

http://onmc.wordpress.com/2010/10/27/traps-from-the-forced-deprogramming-system-of-mc-slaves-to-be-found-within-computerinternet-activity/

It seems that a willingness to be seen, to no longer hide or be secretive is an indication to the deprogramming system that a Targeted Survivor is now ready to be coaxed into de compartmentalizing or integrating alters.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Operation Chaos

http://www.maebrussell.com/Mae%20Brussell%20Articles/Operation%20Chaos.html

Lots of Perp Activity Today in Central Sq Cambridge MA

I got alot of activity from in person gang stalking harassment today around Central Sq. I had alot of good feelings about an outside project that I did. I also do not talk about my activism on this other site and it probably pisses off my enemies and ex associates around here as I look fairly sane on this particular site. I also published alot of my travel photos which debunks the ridiculous smear rumour lately that I have never really traveled.

I am sure that efforts have been put forth to mess that up to. I dont care really though. I have collected traveling friends over the years and I know what they think of me and they are solid friends. Any locals around here who stand by my old associates, my ex and his rich kid friends, the Middle East and all those assholes can just drop dead as Boston really doesnt matter much when you look at a map of the whole world.

Central Sq is pain in my ass. One day I will have to think of something really severe to pay that place back with. That black cop in the green truck is on my d*ck again as were multiple cops today. It was a parade today and it sucked by I got through it.

All the 'regular guy' workers were out too. Painters, contruction all those small businesses of those types were on it today too. Inman street where I go down to a day drop in is notorious for harassment. Its like they have a big set up there all the time. Just that street.

I made money for a few days pan handling and boy oh boy were the perps trying to get me out of there before I made money in Central Sq. There are people who seem to know my situation there and they hand my money like they are fighting the system by doing so. Its a beautiful thing really.

I also discovered that people hanging thier heads so frequently is definitely a tactic. I know it must be obvious to outsiders but when yer being brainwashed especially via torture, its always hard to get out of easily. I knew it but had to have proof. Well this light skinned black kid walked by the other day and I have been ignoring any tactics lately. He was stupid enough to be very dramatic in his head hanging, then he also looked back to see if I had reacted. The whole thing made is so obvious. Of course it was Central Sq. That place needs to be cleaned out seriously. Harvard and MIT are smart. They have so many houseslaves residing there and its a trade off for them working for The Man.

The great thing about this WASPy area is that they are still racsist but dont even realize it. Its really obvious the things they pull like this, the way its set up.

Last night my friend got kicked out of the pastry place for sleeping becuz hes black but they didnt kick out the old white guys for sleeping. That is the way it is here but I soothed my offended friends by reminding them that its still one of the most tolerant cultures in the USA towards activists, the homeless and I quietly thought- TI's. Its not a bad place to be on the street. Believe me there are worse places.

Central Sq is a slice of Hell thats for sure. Its like Asshole Central Sq. Perp Central.

Its been just a constant stream of head hanging until my accomplishment last night and then today I got slammed. Filmed some of it too on Inman St.

A hate comment from the post about a hate comment from the same reader

Its from Anonymous again...remember? "we are gonna nail you to the wall?", that prick? Well the coward who wont id themselves is back again. Here is what the great bore had to say:

"1 – 1 of 1
No actually, I am a REAL TI who has other TI friends who also think you're BOGUS and that you're here to trigger suicide programming. When I said we will nail you to the wall I mean we will OUT YOU. It's not a threat of physical violence asshole. But somehow I doubt you'll post THIS COMMENT. Your self IMPORTANCE is hilarious, really, and again, I do not believe for one second you are a real TI. And how could it be a threat of violence when I'm in a different country stupid. AGAIN you think you're sooooooo important that some "organization" is out to "nail you" to the wall. NO ASSHOLE it's just me and others who are too awake to be fooled by your BS, and I'm psychicly NAILING YOU too. Have FUN YOU PHONY ASSHOLE.
By Anonymous on Hate mail call! (Now with more violence!) on 10/21/10
Publish | Spam | Delete"


So dumbass has revealed a clue to thier location. They arent American so I really dont care anyway as most of my response is from fellow Americans. And a threat that was supposed to induce terror is now reduced to bullsh*t as its psychically nailing me. I have had some interesting experiences along the way with contact that wasnt physical but its was by people that have ALOT of money and connections to some very very nasty Satanic cults and military. Who of course provide the toys to make such things possible.
THIS person however is not capable of such a feat. If they were, they wouldnt be targeted, they'd be able to totally destroy thier attackers.

Also my sense of self importance is none of yer business. I dont know what pathetic communist country you come from but being self important, expressing oneself and the right to excel are part of what being an American is all about. I know the socialists and the commies want to take over the USA and have us all eventually bow to China but its not gonna happen on this blog thats for sure. F*ck fake Anarcho socialists like Obama and all those idiots going around wearing red and black. Its all in the interest of enslaving mankind not some world peace dream of equality that is promised.

In case you are too ignorant to realize it, red and black are also colors that represent Luciferian energies. I think you have to be born that way not just one day decide yer part of Prince Hall or the Masons (who will take anybody nowadays) but hey, yer welcome to yer self delusions. Just like I am welcome to make as much stink about my situation as I like and say as I please due to the fact that I should have a career by now not living this way and creating such a blog at all.

This is the worst attempt at a flame war I have ever experienced. Usually people dont try this with me as it just never works...and its not going to work now. I dont do flame wars. Thats how Barbra Hartwell seemed to bury herself and she was very into research gave alot of info in her blog and for what? So people could label her a CIA plant. What proof did they have? She was the one who spotted perps in the Patriot movement which I dont see anyone else exposing.

And I have posted about something fishy going on with the Anarchist AND Patriot movement..especially thier fighting all the time. Its so..contrived. More covert operations involved.

I wont bore my readers again with this person. Its just more attempts at psychological warfare so I dont settle and air everyone's dirty laundry.

I hope one of my protectors finds yer IP address or whatever they do. I dont worry about this sort of thing too much, it usually seems to get 'taken care of' by forces unknown to me. Which I dont care to know anyway.

Good luck to you and yer friends who are supposedly TI's. I personally dont approve of messing with other TI's for THE SAKE OF THE CAUSE OR MOVEMENT. You should do the same.

I never claimed you were an organization either nor did I claim that an organization was going to nail me to the wall. you seem to be playing only with yerself my friend, which I get the feeling happens alot in more ways than one.

And if you knew anything about high level programming from the inside you would already be familiar with other survivors.

The only thing I ever screwed up on was a video on hypnosis on my YouTube titled "Hypnosis: Be Careful" cuz I didnt watch it all before I posted it on a playlist and the guy ended up telling the audience that people must be careful due to false memory syndrome being induced by hypnosis. Believe me when I discovered the error I took it down right away. that is the only mistakes I make with information is I often dont watch something long enough. I have caught perps thinking I dont read through comments either but I do.

Sorry. I just aint biting. Its not my style. I never was a good lawyer as I hate useless fights. Its for losers and its stupid and a waste of energy.

Oh and Carissa Conti was suspect of me once, rightly so as I was still very into being a strict guardian of information and didnt think she should connect gang stalking with something I forget what. But that was the way my programming was set up and it served me well by protecting me in the beggining of all this.

Too bad for any one who doesnt like it. Go read another blog then.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I was being tortured tonight once again. Same old stuff- sexual arousal coupled with guilt and humiliation etc. Looking over files of copied records etc. Bunch of stuff missing off hard drive and I believe that at Mass Art the computer system or someone hacked into it was messing with my external hardrive becuz of some indications of hacking or interfering when I was on that public system this summer. Now a whole year of copied documents are missing. Which means I have to copy them all over again. And alot of stuff is still out of order which makes me wonder just how jammed or diverted I was when I was trying to get them all in order and scan them.

This kind of jamming nonsense goes on all the time and its especially prominent when a Target is trying to get something done like a court case or document the harassment. A blog is meaningless and they know it. Papertrails and documentation are something this system will try to block until the day you die. A blog can be used to thier advantage to make the TI look nuts. They want us all to blog about totally unbelievable occurences becuz it helps the smear campaign make us look schizo.
Thats if we cant back it up.

At night I go into this bakery cafe place to use my computer. Most nights its alright but if I stay in there long enough of course alot of the old homebums come in there. I often wonder if its me or just the timing or random. I have gone in there at midnight and the place is empty in back but when I stay there at night I notice its always filled up.

I couldnt concentrate as I was getting alot of sexually intimidating feelings and one old moron couldnt stop looking at me and this black kid was making me uncomfortable as well. Also I always have Truman Show Syndrome in this place, which of course is obviously the use of tech in this location. Think I am just crazy? Then why does it only happen in this exact location, this exact way and when I dont enter this building it does NOT occur? Every time I sit in this establishment I have the exact same responses and feelings and reactions every time. I always feel like I am being watched when in this place. Much of it is obviously for behavior modification becuz its a call and return system.

I get approval and rewards or the opposite effect with this system or a Truman Show type scenerio being intimated or imagined in this location. And its only in THIS location in Harvard Sq and it only occurs this way in this building and it ceases when I leave this building.

I moved my seat over to the side due to realizing that there were too many homeless males back near the bathrooms. I just come in here to get work done and I dont need distractions like that. This is what loser guys do...they're ignorant and in general men only care about thier own needs not leaving women the hell alone to tend to thier own affairs. Even when men stand near me to wait for the men's room its obvious by thier body language that they feel its ok to be nosy about what I am doing on my computer or stand right near my table instead of a respectable amount of space away or sit to wait for the men's room or they turn in my direction to play with thier phone or just wait in line. Its all this unconshus reaction to a female sitting there alone. Men really believe that we are there to comfort them, take care of them or that we are second class citizens. I can tell by the way in this kind of situation they dont respect my space right off the bat, they need to be chased off constantly. It could also be gang stalking as in mobbing personal space becuz I dont see people using the bathroom that much usually but I doubt it. Men just dont respect space unless its another man's space. And god help anyone who interfered with thier complex and paranoid bathroom rituals. Here is a video that shows how ridiculous it is really:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw


I moved to a table on the side on the same side as the counter and registers. Of course facing me was another group at a table one of which was this annoying fat old guy who thinks I am stupid like the old days and keeps asking me to do photos for him to make money. Everyone is so stupid. If I wanted to do anything remotely like that now I would have a penthouse by now or own a frickin house or some sort of investment in my future. Or I would be with a very very rich man right now instead of sitting here in poverty in this bakery.

I am too far gone to think about comfort. Its all about revenge now and this system is making any exposure of my story very difficult as you can plainly tell.

Let the homebums sit there and hang out as long as they dont interfer with my work. Then we have a f*cking problem.

I got aggrevated with the sexual arousal and humilition I was recieving so I googled a business owned by my old associate's former boss and mentor. The moment I did that someone somewhere got very freaked out and my computer shut off for no reason. As I messed with it and started up again the effects went away.

I dont understand what this system is trying to do. One of its goals seems to be to associate much shame with sex. Earlier I had taken some footage of a church around the corner due to it having alot of Templar symbols in its build. All this evening after that I got constant ideations that I should become a nun or live that exact way without being a Christian. I pictured the Unitarian church a few times as a possible way around Jesus having to be a focus, had a hard time all night listening to my black metal music, was told that there will come a day when I will no longer want to listen to it anymore, was then given the ideation that I was put through this so I could reach this point of knowing so much evil that I only now am made of good and want to do good, and then had a few thoughts about my blonde cousin who is now an ordained minister and genetic engineer- how I had not seen her in years and she is a minister and I should be more like her and like my mother's family (pretends to be) like that.

Whatever good feelings or safety I felt around that church, soley I believe due to the specifics of the Templar symbolism and the energy anchoring it, it seems this system took the emotional signatures from that and just kept running them as they can be then used to con a human being into complying via something feeeling good or rewarding.

All of what is done to TI's is based on behavioral psychology and pavlovian conditioning.

People stupid enough to believe in this shit or think its good need to be hte first to die in whatever is coming soon to rid this planet of overpopulation. I am more and more starting to really want it to happen but to them not us who are smart enough to know what is happening. You would not believe the amount of fools who believe in this system, believe its actually God talking to them or think its good for someo0ne to be destroyed and then modified.

After the computer got shut off I caught a glimpse of myself in my black computer screen. It was still in the midst of that moment where I attempted to look up an adult entertainment business like I wrote above- I finally felt free for a moment, had my own Will for a second and compared my old life experiences to these new ones and how things are now. I look so much worse compared to when this all started in 2003. I also took note of my weight compared to that time. My face was frozen in a permanent grimace. I have lines now that are starting to define sagging skin...just the starting of it but its becoming obvious.

I know damn well that I would NOT look like this had I not been destroyed, hunted, driven into the street etc. Gang stalked, targeted.

This system doesnt fool any of us who are smart enough to know what is going on. There is nothing good or godly about this system. It is ALL in the interst of covering up for the massive pedophile network that exists and that same network as its connected to programming and mind control.

They will do ANYTHING to convince a victim witness that they are the ones who are in need of reform and its ALL In the interest of keeping one silent about what they know.

People like my mother and her whole family will work with this system due to them having a good front or a whitewash over what they did in the 70's. They want my cousin the blonde scientist Christian to be what represents who they are not the dark eyed dark haired kid they screwed up.

One such example of what they are afraid of me remembering before the age of 6 is for instance: when I was staying at the Hi Hostel that is a BU dorm in the winter but is a hostel in the summer on Commonwealth Ave, I had this familiar feeling about the chandaleir in the lobby as well as started to remember things when I really looked at some of the bathroom fixtures and these were NOT memories from my 20's when I worked in an alter ego state. This was from when I was very young. This is from the compartments that house memories that I couldnt recall for years.

I really had the feeling and some recall of my aunt who was a prostitute taking me on some calls with her. I could see some very vague memories. This is why they come after you the second you start to recall anything, when they know your programming is breaking down. Pedo families have alot to hide and there is an entire system out there that will assist them in doing so.

Its also why family members have to be terrorized into compliance and be put into behavior modification programs as if they deserve this after all they have already suffered. THe people involved arent doing it to the survivor becuz they are immoral enough to need such treatment they are doing it to cover thier own asses. All they care about is themselves which is what the survivor has experienced from thier families from day 1 anyway.

Thats why its such a mind f*ck for people to brainwash them into believing they are put into behavior modification programs for thier own good or that its good for them or they need reforming and its becuz people love them. People like myself are used to people controlling them, being really mean to them and working them like a horse or some animal. So one can see that nothing has changed. What we experienced from the people around us hasnt changed one bit. They are still assholes and thier touching (bullshit) attempts at keeping our memories from hurting us are really once again ALL ABOUT THEM and thier needs.

I cant confirm these memories as I am as sure about other ones but with the circumstances in my family matching what I remember it seems very feasible.

You dont understand how f*cked the 70's was. Soft kiddie porn was very acceptable in the US in major cities. Brook Shields childhood movie(s) should be obvious enough. People just do NOT seem to see these things for what they are. Then they go and buy into Brittney's image like on that album cover 'Baby One More Time'. I only saw it in the past few years and they still wont live in reality about what the content is about. Then of course becuz Brittany is more Willful than good well behaved victim Brooke, she gets the full treatment (so it appeared) and is driven nuts by this system, blamed for it all and handed right back into the custody of her sh*t father. Do you have any idea what people are into in Louisiana? You realize of course that Eddie Cox or Hand is Cajun. He's the guy that had pics of little girls in his phone and he is also the same person who I woke up to on the bus with ocean sounds coming out of his cell phone- he was trying to access me. I was too brain damaged and had learned to wake up at such a threat. Besides a moving bus with lots of people is not exactly going to work.

I have many memories and this explains why its thier goal to keep me from getting organized. And the more discredited I can become over time the less believable my story will be.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Latest Experience Around Harvard Sq Cambridge, MA, USA

Its Sunday and of course there is relief. Interestingly it feels like the summer again, before school went back into session. I had noted a change when school came back in session and its only gotten worse.

Trying to live here is unbearable now. As I have posted before Saturdays are unbearable with the most torture leading to suicidal ideations, self injury/alteration or deadly severe depression.

My self image is always at its worst on Saturdays. This has shown itself to be a pattern since the university went back into session.

This morning the air is crisp and the trees look clear and bright. I can actually take this all in and acknowledge my surroundings. However during the week I am imprisoned in some sort of field that makes everything look bleek and keeps me focused off nature and dulls my senses. All I can think about is what is on my list of things to do and then its hard to think straight or get anything done.

Lately the ideations have been very forceful with the constant idea that my work as well as myself is now being looked at as simply mental illness. That I am wasting my time, no one is going to believe me etc. This is being pushed very very hard.

I have a hard time getting anything done during the week and the workload I can focus on is very limited compared to under natural conditions.

I have also been experiencing alot of what I have dubbed induced image. I am not good at coining titles and phrases usually someone else may come up with something more catchy in description. What this entails is when its very obvious that remote influence is involved in altering one's own self image to the point of that alteration making it difficult for that person to function properly. There is also a component where one can only express themselves in a very limited way that is not that person's true personality or traits. For example lately I have been reduced to being very female, very stupid and very ineffective due to being limited to being very passive such as the ideal dumb female would be. I have noted this effect in other locations as well in my experience with this system. Its very telling that at 12 midnight approx this limitation just vanishes and I become coherent, strong and focused again.

Very submissive, passive and unable to focus well so I usually revert to being motherly or taking care of people as a reaction to this.

I also deal with much more disrespect than usual furthering my feelings of inferiority and of course then being reactionary I act out of fear from not having full access to all my faculties by reverting to being a caretaker.

One has to remember that Harvard gets the largest amount of money to keep going of any college in the WORLD...not the country the whole world. Also Nixon once refered to Harvard as Kremlin on the Charles- Nixon was Prescott Bush's protege and need I say more at that point..?

Have been hearing alot about China being very tied to the USA and buying up raw material production areas so US is limited. Often many TI's have found that the whole system of People Management which includes gang stalking is very much like something China or old USSR would have put out on its people. If we are making deals with communist China the suspicions are not unfounded. I have also experienced many Chinese in on my harassment in Boston but not in other areas. However they seem to be the largest number of an ethnic group after African Americans that are aware of my situation by giving indication passing on the street. Blacks often harden themselves when they look at me and feel bad but Chinese seem to feel more shame or guilt. Whites women of course either turn away or steal themselves into believing that they are tough or it had to be done. The white males seem to be the most sadistic or have that killer look that all white women fear all thier lives- the look of nothing more than predator, a killer animal that wanted to get rid of me and is satisfied that is being done.

The black male reaction to knowing who I am and my situation on the street seems a bit more like I am some sort of small child that got very much punished and they feel bad but that is the way the system is. By the way none of these reactions are appropriate to the situation, they are all self aggrandizing power plays, none of which are accurate and they can all go f*ck themselves for even being privvy to this and not being decent enough to respect my fighting back or maintaining throughout. They all have one thing in common: DISRESPECT. And this might be part of the ploy to get me to confess.

That book I was reading in the CoOp yesterday when that creep messed with me, was a book titled: "Things White People Like" (of course it was YUPpies. I should write a book called 'Things Poor White People Over 35 Like', it would be a slightly different list thats for sure). It stated that the two things white people like the best are respect and making lots of money or financial status.

It could be that disrespecting me so hard over time is hoped to cause me to crack and confess. Which of course will prove MK Works and will sell this system to whoever or at least validate its existence. Which of course I cant do becuz its unethical, unfair and really its used for behavior modification to keep people down that the elite have f*cked over as well as hide evidence per victim witnesses.

So I am free for another Sunday. I dont know why I cant plan better during the week. Like to get out of Boston area once a day or stay away from people who are only helping this system..

I didnt mention that did I? That kid Johnny is not around so much he found some ditzy street girl to hang out with which is good. But his little protege Jay and this obnoxious black kid Dollar are still the most psychically disturbing and draining people in the area. Its amazing just what 2 strong psychic vampires who are also so weak that they only target or mess with a female like myself can do to screw up an entire area. Also many of the kids are gone now and the people remaining are kids from urban Boston coming here to hang or whatever and the core Harvard squat kids who stay every winter.

Jay is abusive to me due to worshipping Johnny and thus picking up the idea he can constantly f*ck with me and he only does this when any stronger males are not around. Skinny weaklings often pick on strong women becuz this is the closest thing to a male weaker than themselves. The kid was nice this summer and something about hanging with that Johnny has now given him a pair of eyes to see if you know what I mean. I feel he is often targeting me or that he takes any opportunity to mess with me. One of the real men around here told me to just floor him but its hard with the induced female submissive weak state induced during the week and saturdays.

So the influence of Johnny and these two other kids only assists this system of oppression during the weak. There was talk of one of them being a rat and all TI's know what that means for us. It means that they may have been introduced to more than just the usual rattintg system and its benefits.

Often as part of the cover story I think there was an attempt to make me out to be a rat. I heard a rumour intimated that my settle-out-of-court money from Olnick was actually a payoff for ratting to keep me out of trouble for being exposed as involved in adult entertainment. It could be that info recorded in my apartment was also used against people so that image was built on that. Its so great that the system had this federal investigation going on to cover thier actions. With the war going on as well, the Patriot Act to utililize as well as it seems no holds barred on torture during that era.

I recall that psycho at the hostel in St Louis MO intimating to me that what was said in my apartment "embarassed alot of people". Too f*cking bad people. We are dealing with MK Ultra, Project Chatter and the long term consequences of Project Paperclip. They are lucky that my internal programming structures held up as well as they did and truly sensitive info was either hidden or wiped.

Of course no one cares what I had to go through they only care about themselves. So I had to be tortured and destroyed and given brain damage by the system at the same time as all the rich assholesholes with dirt to hide get to be mad at me for being destroyed and my future taken away so this system can gain information.

And for that both sides will pay for thier selfish, greedy ways. The people so worried about being exposed actually assisted this system in destroying me. Everyone is gonna pay when this gets settled...oh and it WILL get settled.

So that is what I have been going up against lately in Cambridge MA. And I wont go anywhere else becuz there are no shelters that are decent or that I wont be targeted in immediately upon arrival that I can stay in to go to my medical appointments. I will stay as long as they keep trying to make me leave.

During the weak its almost constant mental slideshows and ideations mostly consisting of flashing visions of UMass or leaving the state and going to the southwest. Both of course are for the purpose of pushing for those actions or outcomes.

Also, there is constant jamming of memory along with going over memories that seem selected by the system of remote influence. This obvservation is due to the way the memories come up. They have no particular order and appear randomly. Also this does NOT happen on Sundays or after 12 midnight.

Years ago this would occur in attempts to do what appeared as a program of reform like showing me my misdeeds to others in life, mistakes etc. I always rejected this due to the idea that this system is false and has no right to act as the Judeo-Christian 'god' in human beings lives. This is eerily reminiscent of the Neocon threat during Bush where a member of the administration stated that there will be pergatory for those who do not go along with these things that they want to do, which of course is most likely the NWO world peace via mind control plan. Ridiculous and should be fought tooth and nail till the end. These little boys have way to many expensive and dangerous toys and all females know that men, due to their inhability to internally gestate a life get very facsinated with being gods or having the Big Daddy's power. Now they have achieved this and need to be brought inside, spanked, denied supper and put to bed promptly preferably crying like babies. They are being very irresponsible with these technogies and that is that. I am shocked at the women involved in this. Then again perhaps operating in the capacity of a man or being in the company of such males melts one's brains to the point of not being able to function properly any longer.

Now this system seems to be showing me memories that will assist me in what I am trying to do with countering the system itself. Still it interferes with my getting anything done.

What is the point of me being a messenger to an world full of people that do not want to listen or seem unconcerned? Also this ensures that this project takes up my time and not having a real life among regular people, creating artwork of my choosing etc. It serves to further isolate me from society as well as put me on this prophet trip which is ridiculous. Its all to ensure that I cant have a normal productive life as an American citizen. In the end, what is this book going to accomplish? The people who dont know either dont care or they will never know about my book and the people that do know about this system already know and dont need to be told. Its like more entertainment for the people who are in on it already. Your not allowed to be happy you have to have all this responsibility which of course really serves as diversion. It has taken all my energy, ruined my health and my looks, and caused me years of unhappiness. And its all planned- a kid who knows about this (obviously) told me that I would become a contreversial author and that was going to be the outcome. This is of course to manage me so I dont interfere or compete with any of my former peers. And sick f*cks like my mother and other stupid control freaks who hide will convince themselves that this system has assisted me in making something of my life and producing an artwork. My mother has always been totally f*cked in this way. She is the one who destroys, abuses and helped keep me down but then will take action to change my situation (control my life) and state "oh it had to be done you werent surviving in that environment". When are all these f*ck ups going to just admit that they are victims of sexual abuse so horrid that it has turned them into total psychos who have to control someone elses life due to the fact they cant control thier own as well as they cant face thier own inner wounds?

The fact that anyone would agree with my mother wanted this done to me shows that there are too many sick people involved in running these technolgies to begin with. I wouldnt doubt if she has indeed joined up with the military in some sick program to reform me or behavior modify me and its all to gain control as well as to destroy me as was always her goal in life. She would do things to destroy all the damn time and then deny she did any such thing. She is totally out of control and she is dangerous due to the fact that she has learned over the years how to hide. She is exactly like her father. What she wants from me most is to fear her so she can get off on it. My father was right about her and her whole family. They are totally f*cked and now I see under control.

When a persons mother is involved in validating such actions taken against a person, this gives the system the legitamacy it needs to continue the campaign. Many people have mentioned her as the cause of this which of course is just more cover story. She is arrogant, controlling and totally out of her mind. This is a battle of Wills a battle for control and a battle to prove just exactly who is in the right. I of course present a much more sane view, which is that no one should be subjected to this kind of abuse just becuz people are controlling, jealous or are afraid of the power structure behind it.

And I will in time go after that woman specifically for everything she has done to me and her family as well. The gang stalking system gets people like this around the main Target on board as it ads legitimacy to the campaign as some sort of valid reform or behavior modification program.

Isnt it interesting that I cant expose my family or my mother's abuse as I am too jammed during the week usually. My mother thinks that just becuz Danny was easy to take care of I will be as well. She has also stated that the destruction of John Butcher Axis's career had to do with her influence, as well as she has in the past often terrorized me with telling me she knew my location as well as the company I was keeping. Which of course ties her to this system as a perp not just as a victim. I dont know what she is involved in but I will be damned if I will be destroyed and written of just becuz she is more powerful than me in some connection to covert factions.

My whole reality has been dictated by her and this system all my life and no one is willing to stand up to her and her bunch of asshole fellow abusers in this system. As Jake once told me "your family has basically written you off", which of course he then took full advantage of after he got busted.

Its expected that due to my good nature and my gentleness I will take this well. The people around me want to claim that my taking this situation well and surviving is due to thsi being me naturally. In fact this is only a continuation of years of enslavement as well as abuse. They raised me to be a slave and to be kept down so its natural for them to attempt to continue that trend when the threat of me using my free Will comes about.

I am sick and tired of being connected to my mother's family and I am tired of the authorities siding with them. This whole network of pedophile families works to keep down anyone who threatens to expose this system. The victims like my mother are just as sick as their abusers. They are people who are too weak to break the bonds of oppression. My mother or this system MUST continue to define me narrowly as either being HER daughter or being DANNY's daughter. In order to still keep me under control I have to be narrowly defined as related to thus resembling these parties, even grandparents but never as an individual unto myself. Its one of thier only means of total control that is almost impossible to break.

The police are VERY very into this on that level. They seem to be very much in charge of managing this system and I often wonder if even moreso than the military involved. Yes, military bases are always a problem for TI's and one can often feel effects from being in the vacinity of a base. To be honest the effects from a military base are not half as f*cked up as what police seem to be into. THey are totally oppressive and seek to create a society that is completely without imagination or Willful citizens. The military abuse has been at least a bit more..er 'creative'. Intense at least. Colorful. What the cops seem to be in on is to make me into a submissive caretaker or get me into good middle class values, which of course if one looks at it in total one sees that its exactly like a eugenics program. And of course the truth is that I didnt need reforming at all- this is being done so that I dont reveal information. And its also to place me in a life after discrediting me so I cant f*ck up the lives of thier precious Julie or Jake.

Its true what Alex Jones says this is occupied territory and ever TI knows it but no one comes out and says it like him. I still dont fully trust anyone who exists as he does becuz I always ask how is it that he CAN exist? But he is all we have right now in the midst of this nightmare and he seems to do alot of good work. It at least helps those of us who have no resources and are totally being kept down in the streets unless we comply to the oppressors/aggressors demands to relinquish our lives to control of 'The State'.